Opinion The Gen Z stare isn’t rude. We’re just not going to conform for your comfort. - Our communication style was shaped by character limits, subtweets, and voice memos sent from bed. We learned to be blunt and concise because that is what the world we’ve grown up in demanded, writes Valentina Botero

https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/gen-z-stare-etiquette-rude-b2793153.html
https://archive.ph/vFs3l
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Gen Z is stuck in the middle of what some older generations are calling an etiquette crisis, and now the spotlight is on our cold, dead-eyed “Gen Z stare.”

If you haven’t encountered the stare or the manufactured media outrage about it, the Gen Z stare is a blank, unbothered expression that older generations find terrifying.

Naturally, Gen Z pushed back, especially those working in the food service industry, who are often most accused of doing it.

One pizza shop employee summed it up perfectly: “You just asked me if we sell pizza.” A coffee shop worker recalled a customer asking her to explain the difference between iced and hot.

Of course we're going to stare. What is there to say when you’re being asked inane questions while earning minimum wage?

What older generations consider rude is what Gen Z sees as honest and efficient. We grew up (chronically) online. I graduated college in December 2020, started a fellowship on Zoom from my parents’ house, and didn’t set foot in an office until I moved to New York in 2022. I still haven’t worked five full days in person.
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Our communication style was shaped by character limits, subtweets, and voice memos sent from bed. We learned to be blunt and concise because that is how the world we’ve grown up in demanded.

That’s reflected in how we show up to work. According to a 2024 Stanford report, Gen Z is “pragmatic” and we “value direct communication, authenticity and relevance.” Sometimes that means less small talk and more clear, precise communication.

“Which is a hard thing for older generations,” executive leadership coach Dr. Carol Parker Walsh, who works with generational workplace issues, explained, “because they were trained not to be honest and authentic, but just to adapt to whatever the workplace norms were.”

Take hierarchy, for example. It’s not that we're anti-leadership; we’re just not as impressed by titles. As Walsh noted, many of us weren’t raised with an emphasis on winners and losers. Everyone was seen as equals (yes, even if that means a participation award for all).

Combine that with growing up exposed to global issues — racial injustice, wealth inequality and climate change — and it makes sense that Gen Z views power dynamics differently. We’ll talk to the president of the organization the same way we’d talk to the maintenance staff. It’s not out of disrespect — quite the opposite, because we don’t see status as a reason to change our tone.
We’re also not interested in the performative hustle culture. With that blunt rejection, Gen Z killed the millennial fever dream ignited by Sophia Amoruso’s 2014 memoir #GIRLBOSS. Only 6% of Gen Z professionals aim for executive roles, according to Deloitte. Why? Because climbing up the corporate ladder isn’t worth the burnout, particularly with the economy and government putting so many workers at risk of layoffs.

We have different belief systems, and that’s where the tension lies. But we didn’t just appear out of nowhere. We were shaped by the society now critiquing us.

“When we tell our children: ‘You’re amazing, everything's possible, go after what you want,’” Walsh said, “I often say to older generations: if you want to point a finger, bring it back home.”

Still, as Walsh notes, even good change makes people uncomfortable. Gen Z shouldn’t have to conform to outdated norms, but we do need to recognize that transformation takes time. And for older generations, the answer isn’t trying to mold us into what was. Instead it’s about improving communication, embracing discomfort, and creating workplaces that reflect the people in them.

But the etiquette dilemma doesn’t stop with Gen Z and a shift in mindset may be already happening. Recent spikes in Google search show that people are specifically looking for answers on what’s considered rude with an increase in queries like “Is it rude to ask how someone died?”, “Is it rude to leave someone on read?” and “Is it rude to point?” — showing that everyone is questioning unclear social norms.

Perhaps Gen Z is shaking up the workplace. But if the cracks bother you, maybe the foundation wasn’t strong enough.

Author:
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Hey there. My name is Valentina Botero. I’m an audience journalist that specializes in social media management and community engagement.​

I was introduced to journalism from a young age, and since then I have worked to make the content I create accessible to all communities. As an intern and a fellow at the Tampa Bay Times, I spent my time creating Spanish content to reach our Latinx/ Hispanic community on different topics. Now, I am an assistant audience editor at the Independent, a UK-based online newspaper. In this audience-driven role, I manage social accounts, boost articles by using SEO and advise teams across the newsroom on social strategy best practices.
 
But earlier generations did in fact have it harder. You don’t have to go back that far and people were dying of diseases that don’t exist anymore. Life is more soulless now but much more convenient and less physical labor intensive. The cunt who wrote this article has some fake job where she can sit on her ass most of the time while her great grandparents were human farm equipment.

There has been generation talk my entire life, it’s not a recent thing. Everything was all about the boomers for a long time, they have and have had main character syndrome.

And while certainly complaints about youngins has been going on forever, the particulars vary. And this very argument also suggests it’s just a rite of passage so being buttmad when people try to bed you in to the workplace isn’t you being persecuted.
 
But, it seems like that's less zoomer centric and more of a social problem in our current time instead.
The Gen Z Stare existed well before Gen Z.
So in other words, more and more are doing "the creepy stare" which "Chris Chan" is known for? That gross freak really is like a personification of Current Year Clown World.
 
I've literally never noticed this in my peers unless they're autistic, or something that's considered socially awkward to gen z (which is fucking everything) happened and there's just that awkward silent pause. If anything I would even argue I've noticed something like this far more commonly in low-IQ people as a whole, regardless of generation. There were plenty of times I worked in service related jobs during my school years and some slack jawed, shuffling Boomer walked in to ask a retarded inane question. I would give them a simple answer, and then they would just fucking stand there staring trying to process the answer like the fucking operating system in their brain is having to boot up.
It's absolutely hilarious to claim that gen. Z is used to being blunt or to receiving blunt feedback. It's even better when you claim that it's for food workers. I've done management before and when you criticize gen. Z bluntly, they lose it even when they're at fault. I come from a culture where being blunt and harsh is the norm and I found that even if I tone it down, they cannot handle it. I remember one case of a worker somehow unplugging a refrigerator full of meat in order to charge his phone and we lost thousands on that. When I bluntly ripped him apart for doing that he started crying.
Tbf I've noticed this problem isn't specific to Zoomers, but just in low-IQ retards with no morals where the idea of taking personal responsibility for their fuckups is some alien concept. I worked with a guy at some shitty wagie job years back who was in his 50s, and this motherfucker no matter what happened, would never take personal responsibility for the fuck ups he caused for us due to his laziness and retardation. I'm talking dozens of mistakes for the simplest of tasks, and it was always someone elses fault. He wasn't "trained properly" (hard to train a man who can't grasp the simple concept of where to put a fucking box), so and so actually did it (no they didn't), and if all else fails, just make up the most retarded excuse known to man. "Oh I was 15 minutes late from break because I was in my car and the clock is wrong" NIGGER YOU HAVE A CELLPHONE RIGHT THERE! God forbid you tell him blunty whats wrong. He'll say you're just being "an asshole" and try to cry to the manager.

Why do "Zoomers" use that skull "emoji" on "social media" such as "TikTok" anyway? Does it mean something is seen as way too "cringe"?
It means "im fucking dead" which in turn means "wow my good sir what you said was so witty, and hilarious that it has caused laughter to overtake my body in a way I thought I was going to leave this mortal plane"

Same thing for "Im fucking WEAK" which is what niggers will usually say. "My good sir, you're tickling my fancy so much that it's causing my muscles to relax from laughter!"
 
So in other words, more and more are doing "the creepy stare" which "Chris Chan" is known for? That gross freak really is like a personification of Current Year Clown World.
Chris makes more of a Kubrick Stare, which is more menacing.
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The Zoomer Stare is just gormlessly staring off into space like Russell Greer.
 
One pizza shop employee summed it up perfectly: “You just asked me if we sell pizza.
And instead of answering, "Yes we do!" (show menu) "We have a big selection, and right now we are having a special on Seafood Deluxe!" You just stare like a retard. Then you ask why your job got replaced by self-service kiosks.

We’ll talk to the president of the organization the same way we’d talk to the maintenance staff.
With the same Brie Larson attitude, I presume.
 
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"No, mom, you don't get it! I look like a total faggot because I'm not gonna conform to society's bullshit standards! I'm not one of those sheeple, like the stupid middle aged dorks who come to the pretzel shop at the mall when I'm working there to earn enough money for all this hair dye and eyeliner, they just ask you dumb questions and stare at you. Well fuck you, judging me for being an individual, I'll stare at you to remind you of what an idiot you are! All hierarchy is bullshit anyway, I told my manager that but he just called me a queer and told me to get back to work. Even when I get older I'm still gonna be an outsider, a free thinker, a freak, 'cause that's just who I am!"
 
My favorite thing about the "Zoomer stare" is it just signals to me I can shove you aside and do your job for you.

There's nothing efficient about it, they aren't conveying anything, they are taking that time to process information, real life moves too fast for them.

Also as a millennial I remember when millennials were writing the CHILL OUT GRANDPA!! articles
 
That cold, dead-eyed Gen Z stare is eerily similar to what is commonly known as the psychopathic stare, which I doubt is coincidental. Kids who have spent their formative years living in virtual isolation, vicariously online soaking in dopamine, don't human very well. They never learn how.

Imagine a generation of psychopaths--oh, wait, right. We don't need to imagine. Here they are.
I'm sure you're aware of when people thought millenials were going to be violent shooters because of video games, right? Social media is vapid, pointless and isolating and promotes histrionics, but I don't think it's going to shred away humanity of an entire generation, because the human brain and more plastic than that. Need I remind you that you're on a website that documents retarded people's every move and you think that has no effect on you, right? I understand you're worried but please keep your head out of your ass
 
I will chime in on this as I have probably done this myself...
I feel the "stare" is a form of detachment and their brains are actually formulating how they're going to describe the interaction on social media. Self absorption. A reflex response to mild discomfort that disengages the brain and enables fantasy mode. Such a weird fuckin world.
Kind of...

The stare is probably more overthinking and analyzing a situation, at least for me. Gen Z got brought up in the most batshit of times with cancel culture and general mass sperging being a norm. And no, people offline are just as schizo-pilled these days, I have encountered many Gen X and Millennials (either family or school/work) that can't go without their giant rant about how Trump is Hitler, the Republicans are Nazis, woke, and every other buzzword under the sun. This all just culminates in treating conversation as walking on eggshells where you really have to asses who you are talking to, or just avoid conversation all together.

Gen Z isn't exactly in a place where they can risk burning bridges. The job market is awful and everything is becoming way to expensive to just coast if you aren't a government leech. Relationships, same thing, most are lonely and are just trying to avoid making themselves that way perpetually given how mainstream cancelling is. I give it till the end of this era and Gen Z finally having some actual stability to live on their own before you really see many of us have a real personality beyond work drone.
The problems that Zoomers have are no fault of their own, which is why I (try) not to shit on them. The over reliance on technology was forced on them, and the over-simplification of it made them ignorant to how it works.

Example: the early days of social media (LiveJournal, MySpace) required some knowledge of HTML to costumize your page.

I'm a Millenial, and having 24/7 access to the internet, or a computer, wasn't necessary to complete work assignments.

The COVID hoax robbed many of them of their childhood.

They grown up in the middle of a cultural death spiral where reading is practically discouraged, and all media is perfectly curated to their specific tastes.

Another example: Most people watched the same shows 20 years ago. TV is stupid, I know, but two entirely different people who have nothing in common, but they did watch last night's episode of Chappelle, and would have that connection. That sort of thing is gone now. It doesn't help the every show or movie is capeshit or reboot slop where everything is part of some "cinematic universe."

Zoomers also came of age where thrir personality, or having human reactions and/or moments is diagnosed as a mental disorder. Something that must be cured. A boy that rather run around outside, or do things with his hands instead of sitting still in a desk for 8 hours a day? ADHD, dope him up! A 13 year old girl who feels awkward in her changing body? She's trans, give her puberty blockers and cut off her tits!
One of the things missing from the list is the inability to grow up properly. Gen Z came to age around the 2020s, in which Covid screwed their social life before they could get started, and now the entire economy is booting them out when they should be in their fun era and having major life experiences.

Most of the gen is still living with their parents because they don't have any real form of income beyond wagie hell, and even the ones that got full-time have had Biden artificially increase the housing/renting prices to the point where even a full-time job can't lift them into independence. The social scene is fucked as the gen doesn't have money to use, places to call their own and, thanks to older gens, the ones stuck not living independently are seen as losers (mostly men). You can be the best, but there is simply no great means of upwards mobility currently and that is taking its toll.
 
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