Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 194 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 782 56.7%

  • Total voters
    1,379
So first he was supposed to help him regain balance so he can walk, then he claimed the chiropractor was able to "clear the mucus from his lungs." Sounds like he fully believed in their bullshit until they had a couple of bad days at the office with a couple doctors leaving the practice and a single day where their equipment wasn't working properly.
It's actually impressive how he found a scammer even beyond the average chiropractor here. The least scummy of them treat it as a mixture of massage, readjustment, and PT where they try to help by making it so you fix your posture and try to uncompress nerves. Like to the point they admit you fucked up if you visit them more than once or twice at most, since these are usually the ones who also have other accreditation but saw something in the method that can help in some cases.

Normal scummy ones recommend it every now and again like a masseuse might, and do weird gimmicks like those fork prong things that measure electricity or whatever, or literally try to internally decapitate you with a towel. Standard scam sort of thing, and the worse ones of the lot often do more damage due to those quick adjustments to get that loud cavitation crack.

This one told him that he could fix his stroke. Or at least that's what fatboy heard. I don't know if they were that fucking terrible, but it's possible given that this idea was founded by a dude who claimed his hands were magnetic and he cured someone of deafness by bonesetting.

Either way, fatboy just wanted to get the easy fix and was tired of waiting for Daddy God to do it for him, even though it's way too late to unfuck his body since he could not be arsed to do the PT.
Even for fatty, that makes no sense. Why would hospitals want their patients, who pay money for treatment, to die?
Because Fat Jack likely heard of big pharma conspiracies, and someone likely fed him something about Cuomo letting the old people die, and just gargled this out.

It's no more coherent than that. I suspect his loser brother who eats so much meat he probably has colon cancer told him this pork pie of a retarded idea.
 
Even for fatty, that makes no sense. Why would hospitals want their patients, who pay money for treatment, to die?

Hospitals were bring compensated by the Feds for treating covid patients, which led to excessive use of expensive treatments like ventilators, being almost default. I don't know he jumped from that to going for high kill counts.
 
Hospitals were bring compensated by the Feds for treating covid patients, which led to excessive use of expensive treatments like ventilators, being almost default. I don't know he jumped from that to going for high kill counts.
A pretty substantial number of people died from there not being enough ventilators or, more to the point, lack of enough people who actually knew how to use them. It's not just a magical machine where you push a button and it saves lives. Use by incompetent personnel can be worse than nothing.

Also, if you qualify for a ventilator, odds are better than even you're a goner anyway.
 
Hospitals were bring compensated by the Feds for treating covid patients, which led to excessive use of expensive treatments like ventilators, being almost default. I don't know he jumped from that to going for high kill counts.
Because he probably believes all of the retarded FEMA conspiracies that have been floating around for years, and assumed that the hospitals also got in on those sweet sweet FEMA bucks for killing patients I guess? While simultaneously failing to realize that modern healthcare is the only reason he's alive.

But you also have to consider that Fatty's hatred of hospitals goes back decades at this point.
Here's his blood donation tantrum from 2003. Yes, he got so fucking upset at having to listen to a brief ad about donating blood when calling a hospital for a non emergency that he went and bitched on the internet about it as one of his first posts.

He also hates health insurance companies, doctors, and banks(posted a day after his crying about hearing about blood donations)
But this wonderful gem in this specific post from July 1, 2003
How come handicapped people drive better cars than I do and walk twice as fast as I do.

It can't be said enough times, Fatty has always been a piece of shit.
 
Obese white woman unenthusiastically puts flaccid white tubes in her mouth while her fat retard cuck watches and narrates, pronounces that she doesn't like the quote unquote garlic aioli, "if you like cheese you'll really like that one, it's oozing." Worst bukkake video ever. I feel like I just watched something from efukt.
Fucking hell.
I'm awarding 10 points to Gryffindor for managing to mention efukt in the fucking Jack Scalfani thread. I'm writing a thread about it here: https://kiwifarms.st/threads/efukt.224644/post-22068878
 
I do occasionally find myself lamenting being desensitized to what Jack looks like: Others I show him to are outright disgusted by his appearance resembling Wart from Mario Bros 2, mannerisms evocative of a busted Chuck E. Cheese animatronic, and vocalizations mistakable for an impacted mule. I am sometimes guilty of forgetting that Jack bears a stronger resemblance to the monsters printed on the Candyland board than he does to humans, and I suspect him of having a cloaca.

Jack's noxious personality and deteriorating body does make him "unique", that's for sure. His crimes against food are another issue--has he really been raised in a world where culinary abortions are the norm, or did he just fuck up recipes?
 
Jack's noxious personality and deteriorating body does make him "unique", that's for sure. His crimes against food are another issue--has he really been raised in a world where culinary abortions are the norm, or did he just fuck up recipes?
He's just a fuckup. He lived in southern California until he moved to TN in 2015 or whenever it was, so he's had plenty of access to cuisines from around the globe via restaurants within an hour drive from him. Competent restaurants as well. The scalfani family historical food crimes either amount to modern day people being horrified by what is basically a shitty aspic(party cheese salad) or his mother being a cheap ass and buying turkey necks to satisfy her fat-ass son. Everything Fatty does can be accounted simply by the fact that he has the taste buds of a toddler, and the patience of one as well when it comes to food(that's how so much ends up simultaneously raw and burnt, as well as him burning the inside of his mouth because he can't just fucking wait like a normal human being until the food cools off to a reasonable temperature). While I'm sure his mother probably came up with other culinary abominations to appease Fatty's demand for calories, he's just got no excuse given where he lived.

I've seen people posit that he might have a food insecurity issue from growing up. That may be possible, but because he's also a retarded cheapskate the end result is that he just fills his gut with garbage. Practically everything he does is just an excuse to eat.

BBQ sauce? So he can pretend to be in the food industry to get food, and of course he had to test it too, which meant more food.
Repeatedly sabotaged recipes even when making a "double batch" by adding hot sauce, chili flakes, etc. knowing his wife would be less likely to eat it, and admitting as much on his own videos.
Ideas for shows, that amount to excuses to eat more food including his son's breakfast with the "playing with your food" bullshit, and any gadget reviews is just an excuse to cook more food.
The freeze dryer and prep shit? More food for Fatty, cheap jerky(not factoring in the cost of buying and running the gadgets of course), freeze dried candy because that was a trend, any stored food needs to be rotated out so that's more food(even the dry stuff) to eat and replace later.
Fat on the go is just an excuse to eat more food and claim he's "working".
Amish month was an excuse to pretend to give a shit about Amish culture, and instead get more food.
The man turned meeting his half sister in NYC, into content as an excuse to eat(and then bitch about) pizza.
Canivore LARP? More meat, we were even able to watch him discuss his day and estimate his calorie intake being 5,000-6,000 just from what he was eating(so ignoring any sodas or snacking we didn't hear about or see).
The church shit? It's mostly deflection for his bad beahvior but you guessed it, it's an excuse for more food. The chili cook off, his church meat smoke-a-thon for the catered men's "retreat", the guy even went to a church event to pack goodie backs for unfortunate kids(I think it was lunches for retards or something?) and grabbed himself cookies. He self reported once that there weren't enough trick or treaters for the king size candy bars he bought, so he got to eat it all instead.

Fatty wants meat and won't be stopped, simple as that.
 
While Jack was seeing this chiropractor he mentioned it on a few streams, based on these posts from last year:
(May 2024)
Wasn't he one of the guys he did his BBQ Wars with? I seem to recall one of the people there at the table was his doctor.

Even for fatty, that makes no sense. Why would hospitals want their patients, who pay money for treatment, to die?
He's probably thinking back to the infamous "death panels" that Sarah Palin was going on about years ago.
 
"AI BAD BUT ME LOVE MY AI CHATBOT GF"

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"DEMOCRATS BAD"

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"ELON GUD"

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"YOUNG PEOPLE BAD"

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Jack the Transvestigator

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Random access thoughts

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"GIB MORE TV NOW!"

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The man turned meeting his half sister in NYC, into content as an excuse to eat(and then bitch about) pizza.
That's also where this barbaric plebeian piece of fat garbage went to a wood-fired pizza place, had real pizza for maybe the only time in his fat life, and complained it was "burned." That's one of those Jack moments that makes me rage at his stupidity and utter lack of taste.

The very idea this clown considers himself competent to "review" food pisses me off. People have speculated he can't even taste food any more and I think that's probably true.

About the only "reviews" of his that would make me more likely to go somewhere are the ones where he didn't get video and then left a one star pissy Yelp review, because at least I would know the place is classy enough to throw out garbage like Jack instead of letting him turn their dining room into an (incredibly fat) circus.
"AI BAD BUT ME LOVE MY AI CHATBOT GF"
Jackoff is a perfect example of the kind of guy so retarded he shouldn't be allowed access to AI for his own protection. I guess it's good for him because AI is the only thing that will never tell him he's a fat, stroked-out retard who needs to choke and die.
 
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Apologies if this has been posted before but Jack is now giving places 1/5 reviews if his doordash order was late.

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Keep in mind that his "local guide" badge for leaving a fuckton of shitty reviews guarantees that his review will be posted. Meanwhile if you are an intelligent person who wants to leave a review unless you give the place a 4/5 or 5/5 your review will be hidden forever no matter how well written it was. Google is garbage.
 
The very idea this clown considers himself competent to "review" food pisses me off. People have speculated he can't even taste food any more and I think that's probably true.
Even before the strokes, Fatty's idea of "gud fud" was fucking awful but the focus on quantity wasn't always as front and center. He still reacts to obviously bad tasting shit in his cooking videos but then sits there and lies about it being "gud" speaking with a mouth full of food like a retard. Remember, he cries about oxylates and vegetables being "poison" as an excuse a toddler with a slightly better vocabulary might use to explain not wanting to eat their vegetables.

Apologies if this has been posted before but Jack is now giving places 1/5 reviews if his doordash order was late.

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Keep in mind that his "local guide" badge for leaving a fuckton of shitty reviews guarantees that his review will be posted. Meanwhile if you are an intelligent person who wants to leave a review unless you give the place a 4/5 or 5/5 your review will be hidden forever no matter how well written it was. Google is garbage.
That's not surprising in the slightest he'd bitch about that. At least with google(and this is why Fatty does it), you get asspats from google congratulating you on how many views your reviews and photos have received to encourage you to post more shit and "level up"(yes it has levels and even little badges and achievements).
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Yeah, that shit is why Fatty thinks his google reviews are worthwhile.
 

Jack wants an alternative to 'Uncrustables' because it's 'ultra-processed' so he makes faux-'Uncrustables' using 100% premade ultra-processed ingredients, it's great.
I swear to God those fagbook bitmojis make me want to shoot a baby in the face. You're a grown ass man Jack. You're BEYOND a grown ass man. Stop using kid shit for 12 year olds.

The infamous candy claw stumps its way onto the counter around 4:15. Not sure why.

"These look beautiful" no the fuck they don't

Sausage and jelly crustable. Rates it great. What the fuck.

Those are not football finger food. They are "I'm being held against my will at gunpoint" food.

Shout-out to the Hamster, Jack's ghost chef, because there's no way he got those bizzkitz out onto the tray with his one hand.
 
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