Nintendo Switch 2 - For the Soytendo consoomers to speculate about the successor to the Switch, recently announced for 2025.

[Kulee Baba]

It was trash and the lowest point of the game by a mile

Buddy you’re taking it way too seriously and seemingly forgetting the end to the game.

Peach’s rejection of Mario is done just for the comedic moment of Mario and Bowser being heart broken together. And if you really want to analyze things seriously Mario looks like an idiot acting like he has to seriously compete with a Monster Turtle for marriage.

It’s just a funny image, akin to when Tom and Jerry both sat on traintracks together ready to commit suicide.

But most of all the game ends with Peach calling Mario to get on the ship. Like practically every Mario game they’re together at the end.

They’re cartoon characters, like Mickey and Minny Mouse or Popeye and Olive Oyl.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Buddy you’re taking it way too seriously and seemingly forgetting the end to the game.

How am I taking it way too seriously if it's still one of my favorite Mario games despite that stupid part?

 

[Kulee Baba]

How am I taking it way too seriously if it's still one of my favorite Mario games despite that stupid part?

Sorry if I took you outta context. “Trash” made it sound like it ruined the game for you. Odyssey is the best 3D Mario behind 64 (which I’ll admit I likely have insane nostalgia for).

What’s trash is Sunshine’s ending with horrid 60s Hannah Barbera style voice acting. Fuck Sunshine.

 

[Problematic User Forever]

How am I taking it way too seriously if it's still one of my favorite Mario games despite that stupid part?

It's probably just an issue of us discussing things through text on the internet.

What the fuck does retconning them not to be a relationship add to anything?

Where's the retcon? Where have any of these games that focus on running to the right and jumping on turtles/running around collecting stars made it a point to specifically say "these two are in a romantic/sexual relationship"?

And if it is an actual retcon like...why care about it? The Mario series hardly has the most connected series of stories, and Nintendo says stupid shit about their games all the time. This is the same Nintendo that put out a Zelda timeline that they clearly (and have admitted) to not factoring or paying attention to when making Zelda games. This is the same Nintendo that has it on record that Miyamoto is Birdo's mother and other stupid stuff like that.

Nintendo was never going to make Mario and Peaches romantic/sexual relationship a point in their games, so you can honestly just believe whatever you want and nothing would really change to be honest.

And I mean, if it really is that big of a deal just assume this has to be Peach's official stance because she's royalty and Mario isn't or something.

 

[Ilikeoreos]

But Luigi and Daisy are still canon right? I mean, Mario Kart Wii had a big golden statue of them holding hands.

Mario has a girlfriend, he isn't going to cheat on her with some inbred mushroom monarch.

I assure you that if Mario were in a relationship with the current version of Pauline, the police would be knocking at his door faster than a blue hedgehog.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Sorry if I took you outta context. “Trash” made it sound like it ruined the game for you. Odyssey is the best 3D Mario behind 64 (which I’ll admit I likely have insane nostalgia for).

What’s trash is Sunshine’s ending with horrid 60s Hannah Barbera style voice acting. Fuck Sunshine.

It's fine. I like Sunshine the most personally, but I acknowledge Odyssey is mechanically superior. 64 has the best structure of any of these games, it gives you more freedom than Sunshine but doesn't flood you with pointless stars like Odyssey dies with moons. Too bad the physics and camera are clunky.

Where's the retcon?

Everywhere? Most Mario media confirms this. Also, in an interview where Miyamoto talked about the relationship between Mario and Pauline/Peach, he referred to Pauline as Mario's "old flame", and something along the lines of "when Mario met Peach his eyes began to wander" as an explanation for why he became interested in Peach instead of Pauline. It's not some secret thing Mario has had love interest characters like these

And if it is an actual retcon like...why care about it?

As always, if something matters enough to change it then it also matters enough to question said change. Just seems like a decision made not to offend fags or not reinforce heteronormativity or some weird woke BlackRock shit like that.

I assure you that if Mario were in a relationship with the current version of Pauline, the police would be knocking at his door faster than a blue hedgehog.

If they can't stop Bowser from invading on a weekly basis then they definitely can't stop the guy who stops Bowser. Maybe they'd be better off with Bowser though, he may be a rapist but he only seems interested in adults.

 

[残念。]

Do people actually care about this shit? Mario stories are just there to give a reason to do some Bing Bing wahoo.

 

[Ilikeoreos]

It's fine. I like Sunshine the most personally, but I acknowledge Odyssey is mechanically superior. 64 has the best structure of any of these games, it gives you more freedom than Sunshine but doesn't flood you with pointless stars like Odyssey dies with moons. Too bad the physics and camera are clunky.


Everywhere? Most Mario media confirms this. Also, in an interview where Miyamoto talked about the relationship between Mario and Pauline/Peach, he referred to Pauline as Mario's "old flame", and something along the lines of "when Mario met Peach his eyes began to wander" as an explanation for why he became interested in Peach instead of Pauline. It's not some secret thing Mario has had love interest characters like these


As always, if something matters enough to change it then it also matters enough to question said change. Just seems like a decision made not to offend fags or not reinforce heteronormativity or some weird woke BlackRock shit like that.


If they can't stop Bowser from invading on a weekly basis then they definitely can't stop the guy who stops Bowser. Maybe they'd be better off with Bowser though, he may be a rapist but he only seems interested in adults.

The mushroom police don't bother with Bowser because they know Mario can handle it - they're more concerned with catching all the Toad criminals, I'm sure there are some bad shrooms out there.

 

[Problematic User Forever]

Do people actually care about this shit? Mario stories are just there to give a reason to do some Bing Bing wahoo.

Yeah, sadly they do. To the point that there used to be this joke 7 minute video about the "canon" timeline of Mario games I liked to post to make fun of it, and now I can't find it because every single autist video essayist fag seems to have a multi video/multi hour playlist about it.

 

[Kulee Baba]

As always, if something matters enough to change it then it also matters enough to question said change. Just seems like a decision made not to offend fags or not reinforce heteronormativity or some weird woke BlackRock shit like that.

Nintendo makes games for children to play but at the same time they don’t treat you like complete idiots. The objective in 95% of Mario games is to
Save The Princess. You get the girl, it’s as basic as subtext gets.

Do people actually care about this shit? Mario stories are just there to give a reason to do some Bing Bing wahoo.

They shouldn’t be considered people but no doubt there is some middle aged Nintendo fan who wants Nintendo to make it canon that Mario and Peach are married and have children. I mean serious autism/arrested development.

Beyond that there has been widespread autism over how the Donkey Kong timeline lines up thanks to Bananza. Without a doubt spergs want to believe Little Pauline is actually Mario and Pauline’s daughter. Typing all this stupid shit out is making me reevaluate my life choices.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Totally acceptable for children:

Offensive content that needs to be explicitly censored:

 

[Problematic User Forever]

Anyone have Movieblobs thoughts on this?

 

[Retarded Weeb]

This just seems like a corporate statement made because it's convenient for keeping the status quo of the series. Like everyone knows Mario and Peach are like, together, I mean just look at them. But they can't be like, together together, because that would imply further things about how they would be acting. They have to always be in the intermediate state of "getting together" because that's what the knight and princess are in the knight saves princess from dragon story. They can actually like, be living together in an active relationship.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Nintendo makes games for children to play but at the same time they don’t treat you like complete idiots. The objective in 95% of Mario games is to
Save The Princess.

I agree.

You get the girl, it’s as basic as subtext gets.

Apparently you get the friend now.

They shouldn’t be considered people but no doubt there is some middle aged Nintendo fan who wants Nintendo to make it canon that Mario and Peach are married and have children. I mean serious autism/arrested development.

I'm sure that's true, and that's a little silly, but it's straight up retarded to now specify they're just friends.

Beyond that there has been widespread autism over how the Donkey Kong timeline lines up thanks to Bananza. Without a doubt spergs want to believe Little Pauline is actually Mario and Pauline’s daughter. Typing all this stupid shit out is making me reevaluate my life choices.

Since Mario is canonically only 26 it'd be weird for him to have a 13 year old daughter, but I guess I wouldn't be surprised by some fans...

 

[Null]

BOWSER'D

 

[NerdShamer]

Do people actually care about this shit?

Yes, people are genuinely interested in the Bing! Bing! Wahooing that goes on in Bowser's Castle, including our own back of autists.

See, even Null is in on it

 

[Kulee Baba]

I agree.


Apparently you get the friend now.


I'm sure that's true, and that's a little silly, but it's straight up retarded to now specify they're just friends.


Since Mario is canonically only 26 it'd be weird for him to have a 13 year old daughter, but I guess I wouldn't be surprised by some fans...

Peach is a literal princess of a kingdom. She is not marrying a commoner like Mario. But we all know that Mario lays the pipe.

Again we’re sperging over stupid shit, Nintendo just wants to say they’re only friends because the less we have to see of Mario porn the better. Wish they’d make Bowser a monster again who just wants to conquer so we can discourage this furfag bullshit.

 

[NerdShamer]

Wish they’d make Bowser a monster again who just wants to conquer so we can discourage this furfag bullshit.

But then he'll just be Bonanza's King K. Rool.

 

[30+GameOvers]

Bowser somehow had 7 kids and nobody asked where they came from.
This isn't news, I'm surprised it took her this long to break the news to Mario. At least Luigi has Daisy, best brother wins again!

 

[NerdShamer]

Bowser somehow had 7 kids and nobody asked where they came from.

It's kind of obvious that he just tries really hard at getting around and had only gotten lucky at least once. Considering that the grand total is technically 7 or just one.