Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[Aurellia Spaghettellia]

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Who the fuck is captioning his vids? Can't even spell it right.

I'm not giving you the names. You are just going to fire these people.

 

[A T.V. Hating Mutant]

but why Minecraft? It's like absolutely ridiculous

He initially wanted it in hytale or whatever the fuck, but that game folded. He sounded really disappointed when he mentioned it(lul).

 

[Terfmaster9000]

It's starting. Get your straws out, the milk is about to flow.

 

[Jester Who Didn't Laugh]

It's starting. Get your straws out, the milk is about to flow.

Oh boy, slopage is faster than I anticipated.

 

[Intel Core Ultra 7 265k]

I'm not giving you the names. You are just going to fire these people.

I'm gonna go to your boss

 

[Burnt Effigy]

Good day to you, my kiwis!
Are you differently abled in the field of how large scale multiplayer games work?
Do you want to rebute the retards at r/gamedev while being probably just as informed at they are?
You're on the right post, my nigga.

Now, why am I not touching small scale games?
Because these are never a problem to bring to offline modes.

There's three ways to structure a game server cluster when you're serving large amounts of people:
* You use a matchmaking system
* You use server handoff
* You use server meshing, aka a cohesive server cluster

Let's explore how these work and how hard would it be to bring them down to post-support.

1. Matchmaking
Matchmaking is actually pretty simple, but retards think it's overly complicated, let's see how it works step by step.

Let's say I'm playing a competitive 1v1 matchmaking game where players are ranked using an algorithm like Elo.
When I click "Start matchmaking", I make a request to the server asking to put me in a list of players that want to be put in a match, it may look a bit like this:

Name	Rank	Started Matchmaking At	Region
Burnt Effigy	1000	Now	Mars
John Minecraft	3478	10 minutes ago	Venus
Alex Jones	3155	12 seconds ago	Mars
Some Retard	2011	30 minutes ago	Mars

The matchmaking algorithm will take into account a bunch of things with differing priority, such as:
- How compatible are the regions between two users?
- How far are the ranks of the users? (We want some discrepancy, but not much)
- How long has the user been waiting for? (If it's been a while, relax the criteria to guarantee a match)

Now, let's say two users, Burnt Effigy and Some Retard, are selected to battle.
The matchmaking server picks a game server in a list of available, but unassigned game servers.
(If the list is too short, new game servers are automatically rented and started, This is the only place where the cloud is "necessary")
The matchmaking server locks in the game server for the match between Burnt Effigy and Some Retard, sends them both the IP, and then erases them from the list of players waiting for matchmaking.
When the match is done, the game server reports the match result, and the matchmaking server updates the rankings of the player.

...that's it.

How do you make it work Post-Support?
- Release the game server
- Allow for direct connection via IP

Done! Since the game already supports connecting via IP, all you have to do is expose that.
You do not need the whole cloud bullshit with dynamic server allocation for a 1v1.

2. Server Handoff
Most commonly known in Minecraft's Bungeecord Mod, but also transparently implemented in most MMOs, server handoff is kind of like a loading screen, but instead of loading shit, you're connecting to another server.

With Bungeecord, you have a server in the front that proxies your game request to one of the real minecraft servers behind it.
When you change server, you see a loading screen, like if you were changing dimensions.

With most MMORPGs, you may have different server instances when you enter a dungeon, when you change continents, etc.
Either the same proxy approach as Bungeecord is used, or the game has a list of IPs to use, and smoothly transitions between two servers without you seeing it.

The one thing to note here, is that these servers are completely independent, they do not share any live data, only stored data (like player inventory, quest status, etc).

Depending on the game, if instances are purely used for load balancing, the solution is simple, Just run one instance. This is what private WoW servers do. This is a solved problem.
In the other case where instances have custom content each, this is a problem, but only insofar as you need to setup the entire infrastructure between the servers, and they each need to be reachable via individual IPs. Still totally doable with a docker-compose file and a few hours, though.

3. Server Meshing
Probably most commonly known for being the forever 2 weeks away feature of Star Citizen, server meshing is a bit like handoff, but you share live data between servers, and servers can compute game logic for a few elements, and share the results with other servers.

This is useful when you may have very high load spikes in tiny areas, whereas Eve Online reduces the time speed to give servers the time to process all players' input, meshing, in theory, would allow tens of thousands of players in a single, tiny area, with no major impact.
You can add servers at anytime if one cannot keep up.

...but that also means you can remove servers at anytime if a single one is enough.
Post-support solution is trivial: disable meshing, release the server. Congrats. You're done.

4. What do I say when someone asks "But what about XYZ?!"

Answer with: Shut the fuck up, Nigger.

Do you need to install VAC Live on your Counter Strike server when you're fucking around with friends on your own server? No.
Some retards may argue that the physics won't work. Literally no game in the history of gaming has done physics in a separate program from the server. Shoot yourself.
Faggotron may perk up saying "But what about muh item servers?!". It would take seconds to replace the part of the game that talks to the item server, to one that just says you got all items.
Voice Chat? Mumble. Teamspeak. Skype. Microsoft Teams. Slack. Discord. Many games also have it built-in and not as a separate server. Do you really need more?

 

[Hooked on phobics]

It's a child making up epic work stories.
iM noT giVinG u thE nAmEs, yOu aRe juSt GoiNg tO fiRe thEse pEoPle!!1

Whatever happened, if anything, was obviously entirely different.

Honestly I'd believe this and here's why.

I've been in this exact situation, where there's a systemic problem in a job, and if you mention it, the boss demands names and fires them. I tried doing what he did, and quickly got fired .. but him being a nepo baby, he used that to his advantage. It doesn't say much about his talent though. Just shows Blizzard is crappy to have that issue.

 

[itogi]

It's starting. Get your straws out, the milk is about to flow.

PreserveTube, local:

 

[Aurellia Spaghettellia]

I'm gonna go to your boss

Do it. I don't give a shit. I'm the first second generation employee.

Honestly I'd believe this and here's why.
I've been in this exact situation, where there's a systemic problem in a job

CS people with bad security training is hardly that important of a systemic problem... and do you honestly believe this dude came up with a 6 months training program? Ain't no way.

 

[Haramburger]

ackshully, I did on page 163

A genuine miss from me, mainly because I largely skimmed highlighted posts(but still scrolled up and down when images/videos were obvious in posts visually) but also your link is only on twitch(and subject to erasure) and not archived & embedded here.

 

[Lambda]

Honestly I'd believe this and here's why.

I've been in this exact situation, where there's a systemic problem in a job, and if you mention it, the boss demands names and fires them. I tried doing what he did, and quickly got fired .. but him being a nepo baby, he used that to his advantage. It doesn't say much about his talent though. Just shows Blizzard is crappy to have that issue.

What actually happened is that he did calls and that's it. Then his boss told him this story at lunch or something, and he simply took it as his own.

 

[cumster]

It's starting. Get your straws out, the milk is about to flow.

fucking finally

 

[Aidan]

Honestly I'd believe this and here's why.

I've been in this exact situation, where there's a systemic problem in a job, and if you mention it, the boss demands names and fires them. I tried doing what he did, and quickly got fired .. but him being a nepo baby, he used that to his advantage. It doesn't say much about his talent though. Just shows Blizzard is crappy to have that issue.

I doubt we'll get anyone who can speak to how Blizzard handled internal security but I've never worked anywhere that would be ok with firing someone for failing their first phishing test. That was a different time and now it's a whole sub-industry but I think Mald jumped to the "you're gonna fire them!" conclusion on his own if it happened as he said.

It's also weird that after one test suddenly no one fails the second time around a year later. Never happens. Someone always messes up.

 

[GarbanzoBeans]

He initially wanted it in hytale or whatever the fuck, but that game folded. He sounded really disappointed when he mentioned it(lul).

What kind of game dev sits on their ass waiting for another dev to make a game so they can try and prototype their game inside of someone else's game? You're a game dev... go make the fucking game. There's a whole website for that, dumbass.

 

[potato sack]

iM noT giVinG u thE nAmEs, yOu aRe juSt GoiNg tO fiRe thEse pEoPle!!1

"this faggot is joey's kid, just play along, he'll get bored eventually"

 

[ScurvyRat]

Everytime you see a Reddit link or read a Reddit post I need you to remember...

what a shame that fleshsimulator is a tranny defender.

 

[Terfmaster9000]

I still cant fathom why theres people who believe Jason and KronosVII being reliable narrators in this entire thing

It's people who:
1. See themselves in Mald and Khron-os, so they cape for them and/or find excuses to believe them. Like attracts like.
2. Kids. Brain not fully developed. Probably being raised by social media and by various streamers, so their future is bleak
3. Literal retard trannies/neets with zero real normal world experience and no critical thinking skills

No one normal, or even at the very middle of the bell curve believes or likes Mald anymore. The normies have turned against him. It's all joever.

Speaking of mocking Jason, a Newgrounds user made a game called Roachbound: The Eight-Year RPG | Chapter 1 (A). He made it in three days and also put it on Github (A).

This game was more fun than shartbound, I smiled. 4/5 stars.

lol on her Twitter she still has a Picture with a dude. Maybe new boyfriend allready? Also looks way happier than on the stream. Guess it is an older pic

That photo is a decade old, at least. So that's the abuser. He should have beaten her harder, maybe he would beat the stupid idea of streaming her small child online out of her dumb head.
She's a janny in a server full of troons and furfags. She KNOWS there are pedo degenerates watching the stream because of that poor little girl. I fucking hate that fucking woman based on that alone.

PreserveTube, local:

Genuine thanks, I posted that and ran off to finish my pizza.

 

[Spud gun]

This nigger is speed running Lolcow of the year, and we are only just passed halfway there.

 

[Hooked on phobics]

CS people with bad security training is hardly that important of a systemic problem... and do you honestly believe this dude came up with a 6 months training program? Ain't no way.

BAD TRAINING isn't the systematic issue, its firing vets without question BECAUSE they no longer remember an employee handbook from a half decade ago is. But beyond that I mean specifically companies firing people without knowing what the fuck is going on, I've seen it with other big companies where theres a huge, chronic problem that WILL come back over and over and if you try to point out how its like that, they tell you to fuck off, give names, and fire them. So hes right about that, that IS a huge issue. Also hes DEFINITELY embellishing on the training regime, I gaurentee you it was "just make em read the handbook section 5A every year from now on" and mald claimed credit, despite it being the smallest change that he just gave a thumbs up about.

I doubt we'll get anyone who can speak to how Blizzard handled internal security but I've never worked anywhere that would be ok with firing someone for failing their first phishing test. That was a different time and now it's a whole sub-industry but I think Mald jumped to the "you're gonna fire them!" conclusion on his own if it happened as he said.

maybe. I know amazon had a similar chronic problem with "rate" of work. Basically their system would automatically adjust "par" for what is acceptable rate. 10% bellow average IIRC. Problem is this automatically adjusted, and never went down, AND some faggot ass big wig at the time DEMANDED faster times on picking.

So what happened was a LOT of people found ways to cheat, refusing to check food expiration dates, shortcuts, or even exploits in system to "pause time". This lead to people actually working SLOWER but APPEARING faster on the books, and decent, hard working honest people were called slow fucks while daquerius would smoke a blunt in the bathroom for half an hour using the exploit and appear faster than EVERYONE. Some tried reporting this fucked up system, but they did the same thing "names, and we fire them", except this is ALL of their "all star" team that they talk so fondly of. I even remember an employee getting menaced by other employees because the "rate" was 120, and he scored 190, got an award and raise, but the employees harassed him about it later, since that would raise the rate for everyone, or potentially ruin it and get everyone fired if they caught on

Basically the management was retarded and thought they knew everything and the underlings were constantly tricking management, and if you tried to report it you probably got fired.

And I could see that exact same setup maybe, and were mald a normal guy, he WOULD of been instantly fired for that move, but as a fucking nepo baby? not so easy.

HE STILL didn't do anything impressive, I'd HOPE any kiwi would be able to detect its just older employees fucking up, the only noteworthy bit was you can't fire the nepobaby, so they HAD to deal with it, which made them listen. Literally the 1 time being a nepobaby helped SOMEONE ELSE.
TLDR management should want to fix problems, not just fire people as soon as a problem shows up.

 

[Full body]

"Ok maybe Heartbound didn't run on a fridge. What matters is that it could."
Pathetic.

He could demonstrate Heartbound running on a low-spec device to own the obsessive haters, it'd be trivial to do but he won't do it. He doesn't know how to do it or where to begin.

maldcore discussing the smart fridge

they're so close to getting it

His mod "MaggieLaughs" looks like a tranny and is the typical janny karen.
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most stressful job she has ever had