How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[BABANGUIDE64]

I've got fired today due to systematically being late to work and my impulsivity. At least, I left in good terms with my colleagues and my boss.
I would have no balls to take a risk and quit the job I didn't like much. I've got paid and from now on I'm looking for another job.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

I'm okay.

 

[Señora Airi]

She wants to get me on meds, but mostly what she’s focused on right now is getting me a normal eating schedule. That’s a change I’m not sure I want to make yet though, I’m quite comfortable (Read “Miserable but too lazy to change”) not eating till 5.

Meal prepping does help in this manner if you want to spend some energy making a big batch of something. Use a day just to cook 2 or 3 things and portion them out, then you don't have to think too hard about what you want to eat for lunch and dinner. And maybe something simple for breakfast like a thing of yogurt. Something is better than nothing.

I kinda hate that there's this growing belief that you're not at fault if you willingly bang someone in a relationship.

(this is starting to turn into a Grind my Gears thing) but yeah that infuriates me as well. It's not that hard to not have sex with people already in relationships.

I've got fired today due to systematically being late to work and my impulsivity. At least, I left in good terms with my colleagues and my boss.
I would have no balls to take a risk and quit the job I didn't like much. I've got paid and from now on I'm looking for another job.

I pray you're able to find employment.

My mental health has been deteriorating in the last 24 hours. Severe anxiety and insomnia.

I'll pray for you as well. Glad you at least have an understanding significant other.

 

[Lingering butter taste]

Meal prepping does help in this manner if you want to spend some energy making a big batch of something. Use a day just to cook 2 or 3 things and portion them out, then you don't have to think too hard about what you want to eat for lunch and dinner. And maybe something simple for breakfast like a thing of yogurt. Something is better than nothing.

Thanks. I will say, it’s not really the effort it takes to eat that’s the issue. I actually enjoy cooking. It’s actually eating that’s the issue.

I think meal prepping might work though since I’d feel guilty and wasteful if I already had a meal prepared and I just didn’t eat it.

 

[DenseDeerFather]

Goodness, got roped into the life advice again.

Spoiler: Life coach pt. 2

Called my friend just to check up on her, and she's pretty demoralized after the whole thing.. Boyfriend didn't cheat after all, but he has a history of adultery and has cheated on all previous girlfriends but that's because he didn't love his previous partners like he loved my friend, and yada yada yada.

And she's just so downtrodden from this mess and she doesn't believe he has changed but she thinks she can't do better and she's in her head about it and I'm so tired because I feel like a third party in this relationship and I'm just the one who got asked for advice. I really wanna tell her to break up with him because this is not healthy. Maybe I'm a noob here but something feels like really wrong here.

I really wish I didn't have this stupid habit of being a feelings fag and getting deeply upset by other people's problems and wanting to make them feel better and make them happy somehow. I ain't some shittin' empath or whatever, but I am apparently a damn hippie that absorbs people's feelings or something.

What is this flavor of autism called? Whatever the name is, I want a refund. At least, I don't have to worry about being a sociopath who doesn't feel empathy.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Goodness, got roped into the life advice again.

Spoiler: Life coach pt. 2

Called my friend just to check up on her, and she's pretty demoralized after the whole thing.. Boyfriend didn't cheat after all, but he has a history of adultery and has cheated on all previous girlfriends but that's because he didn't love his previous partners like he loved my friend, and yada yada yada.

And she's just so downtrodden from this mess and she doesn't believe he has changed but she thinks she can't do better and she's in her head about it and I'm so tired because I feel like a third party in this relationship and I'm just the one who got asked for advice. I really wanna tell her to break up with him because this is not healthy. Maybe I'm a noob here but something feels like really wrong here.

I really wish I didn't have this stupid habit of being a feelings fag and getting deeply upset by other people's problems and wanting to make them feel better and make them happy somehow. I ain't some shittin' empath or whatever, but I am apparently a damn hippie that absorbs people's feelings or something.

What is this flavor of autism called? Whatever the name is, I want a refund.

What do you think an empath is?

Either way, it reads as though you may have poor personal boundaries and are enmeshed in others' concerns. Being empathetic and supportive is good, but if you're "absorbing" that energy or using a lot of your own on it (especially if you aren't doing as much as you need for yourself), then you're doing too much. And though it may give you a sense of purpose or usefulness or "being a good friend," if it ever impacts your own life or gives you an excuse to ignore or avoid important things for yourself, then it's not good.

You can be a good friend and give a lot, but if YOU are "exhausted" from other people's problems, then maybe a step back might be a good thing

You might also give a think to whether, and, if so, why/how, you were "roped" into life advice.

 

[The Feline Solution 2]

something feels like really wrong here.

Her dating him despite knowing he cheated in every previous relationship is the big one but from reading this and your previous post about her there's tons of things that are wrong. Sounds assholish, but she's old enough to make her own bad decisions. You can pretty much tell where this relationship ends up going.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

 

[DenseDeerFather]

What do you think an empath is?

In my personal experience, a narcissist. Have yet to meet anyone who unironically calls themselves an empath and wasn't a massive raging, self-absorbed egomaniac.

Either way, it reads as though you may have poor personal boundaries and are enmeshed in others' concerns. Being empathetic and supportive is good, but if you're "absorbing" that energy or using a lot of your own on it (especially if you aren't doing as much as you need for yourself), then you're doing too much. And though it may give you a sense of purpose or usefulness or "being a good friend," if it ever impacts your own life or gives you an excuse to ignore or avoid important things for yourself, then it's not good.

It's a bad habit of mine, really. Seeing people upset and wanting to help them out. Not fix 'em, mind you. Should be more selfish. Thankfully, I got an easy week, so it's decompression time.

Her dating him despite knowing he cheated in every previous relationship is the big one but from reading this and your previous post about her there's tons of things that are wrong. Sounds assholish, but she's old enough to make her own bad decisions. You can pretty much tell where this relationship ends up going.

Yeah, I'll just step back and look at the inevitable fallout. It's going to break her one way or another if she doesn't stop valuing her worth by having a man.

Should have clued in when she said she would never find a man who would love her ever again, and she'd rather manage than be happy. Suppose she needs a crash to the center of the earth before she gets a clue - and therapy.

Speaking of therapy, think I'll get one of those really nice but pricy boxes of chocolate for the weekend. I just had a craving for it suddenly.

 

[LonesomeDud]

I feel like I make the same kind of shit post every time I'm high. I feel pretty good.

 

[Unnecessary Surgery Land]

I'll pray for you as well. Glad you at least have an understanding significant other.

I appreciate this from the bottom of my heart. Thank you! The praying might have worked-- I woke up today feeling much, much better which I did not expect because I went to bed feeling awful.

Hey now, we may be assholes but we're not fucking assholes. If it made you feel better, bitch to your heart's content

Thanks a lot! I really love kiwifarms for this reason. It's a fun mix of brutal honesty, severe autism yet genuine kindness. You really can't find another online community like this one.

I was grateful my spouse made sure I slept in.

I went in the backyard and pulled some weeds. It's amazing how much just being in the dirt, and seeing positive progress in your yard helps the brain.

I grew up in a tiny family with a violent paranoid schizophrenic, and the other grown ups were too weak-willed to control her

Spoiler: feels

I feel you to a certain extent. I didn't have a schizophrenic but I had a extremely OCD-riddled paranoid person raising me and she was the center of the universe at all times. I also had weak willed adults who only cared about placating her. It wasn't good for raising a child (me).

It's a humbling/strange experience when we realize that we are a product of our childhoods while raising out own kids, isn't it? I have moments where I realize "oh wow the people raising me would have handled this situation very, very differently."

Good on you for not repeating history, really take pride that your daughter is in a better place. That's really not always the case- so many people take out their own shitty childhoods on their kids but you broke the norm! That's badass.

I hope things continue to go well with this woman! Even if it doesn't work out in the future due to differences, she may be just what you need right now.

 

[Overwritten Tapes]

Almost died from alcohol, sick af

 

[AnOminous]

I think meal prepping might work though since I’d feel guilty and wasteful if I already had a meal prepared and I just didn’t eat it.

That's why you freeze in individual portions. I had a method I should go back to where I'd make individual portions of rice, vegetables and a protein for a primitive meal made of rice, some vegetable mix, and a protein, beans or meat, topped with a sauce.

Then just pick a combo and eat it as a meal.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

I've got fired today due to systematically being late to work and my impulsivity. At least, I left in good terms with my colleagues and my boss.
I would have no balls to take a risk and quit the job I didn't like much. I've got paid and from now on I'm looking for another job.

My condolences. I hope the next job you're going to get will be better.

 

[Dawdler]

I've got fired today due to systematically being late to work and my impulsivity. At least, I left in good terms with my colleagues and my boss.
I would have no balls to take a risk and quit the job I didn't like much. I've got paid and from now on I'm looking for another job.

If the job was good enough and paid well everyone would put in effort to be on time and so on. Good luck on your job search.

 

[Haloperidol]

I have to make an heirloom in a month, because I’m an idiot who wasted the last eight months. The new supplies came in today and I don’t like them. My options are:

1. Use these supplies and put up with the ugly color
2. Order new supplies and have three weeks to do the whole thing
3. Keep the old supplies and have to change the entire project
4. Kill myself

 

[Grotesque Bushes]

I've never been happier. Life's good, and even though there's some hardship on the horizon I know why I'm in this game.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

I've never been happier. Life's good, and even though there's some hardship on the horizon I know why I'm in this game.

Now this is my jam.

 

[TheCakeIsALie]

What a long strange trip its been.

Diagnosed with TRPS this year, ok.

Have a stroke in June, unknown cause. Blood clot in PCA. Occipital lobe, thalamus and hippocampus affected. Stenosis in proximal p3 and p4 segments.

Tons of tests and drs appt, five days on a neuro floor, tests come back fine. No pfo, no pe, no dvt, cerebral angiogram clean, cbc fine, no APS, echo showed what I already knew about my valves and crap, no high cholesterol, don’t drink or smoke. Ana fine, factor v fine, etc

Have telehealth appt with geneticist from rare disease center.

“ I don’t think your symptoms line up with TRPS, come in for bloodwork and possibly more testing and an in office exam. It’s quite possible you have more than one problem at the same time”.

Trek to the city, get it done. Some labs are
off but I don’t know the clinical significance yet and it looks like I have to go in for an exam and possibly more testing.

See an ortho for hip, knee and leg pain one month after stroke. Surprise, hip dysplasia and maybe some labral tears. But we need you to do pt first before we get you an mri.

Do pt, im 3 weeks in. Pain is no better, and I have a lot of leg weakness and tremors when I lift my legs at all, or pt stretches my legs. Weird af but ok. But my rom is excellent and I am proud of that.

Overall I’m hanging in there, just confused and pissed because I thought TRPS was truly the end of this and that it truly was the cause of all my problems. I’m just glad this is all happening during summer vacation, which is pretty much getting ruined this year.

I got lucky I have no neuro deficits but I do have side effects. Photophobia is one and headaches are another. Topamax works. I also get shooting pains randomly on the affected side but neuro said be patient, lots of inflammation happens afterwards, it’ll get better.

I hate not having answers. I think that’s bothering me the most. And why the f me. How come it’s me and not my sisters or my mom or my dad? They’re all much more unhealthier. Life is so cruel sometimes, man.

On the plus side, when I was numb on one side I had no pain and they did give me oxy for the headaches and that helped a lot. And my roomate was really sweet, she lives up the road from me. Btw, the unit was coed. First time in my life I ever heard of that.

 

[Scream Aim Fire]

Well, things are, once again, up and down for me. Fortunately, it's mostly ups this go around:

IRL, my job is still trucking along just fine. Yes, I do kinda hate it still, but at the very least I got a stable source of income and the job itself is fairly simple to deal with... even if the customers I get handed make me want to throw them out the door more often than not. At the very least, my income is stabilizing more and more, and I'm getting my bank account built back up after being out of work for three months - coupled with family issues - nearly drained it dry.

Writing's a mixed bag as usual, but more positive as well. Got the character I want to write mostly figured out, as well as a general grasp of the plot I want to write; I wanted to make a more positive side-story/spin-off to the main plotline I've been cranking out, and for the most part it's going along surprisingly well. My only gripe right now is... well, I got no idea where I want to set the storyline. Already used most major locations in the U.S. (D.C., NYC, Seattle, San Fran, etc.) and elsewhere (London, Germany, Kowloon, etc.), and I wanted to go with somewhere new, somewhere I can run a Masquerade-esqe plotline in a lighter-hearted matter...but I got no idea where. Still taking a look at potential locations, so that might change sometime soon; who knows?