Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Fully Eshay Skits Bruh V4]

Tammy's looking huge in this pizza ATM video.

At 3:33 in the pizza ATM video, Jack does another of the most repulsive laugh sounds he's been doing lately that's like a wet fart. I can't even figure out how air is travelling through his face or what to make a noise like that, but seems like it's new, since his last stroke.

Made for Jamaican men.

 

[AltisticRight]

He is re-using the stupid little pizzamen from his previous pizza bites Cooking with Jack two weeks ago. But in that one he ate the very-non-carnivore end product and yet in this one, he has to do the Tammy interrogation bit. This is why I follow Jack. He isn't clinically retarded, but even pre-stroke(s) he just does things in totally illogically ways.

And I guess the mushroom cloud is a reference to ATM, because the word atomic has these three letters?

I give up. Please have a stroke Jack.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Because it's still a hell of a lot more worthwhile activity than some of the shit we waste gigantic amounts of money on down here.

Manned space travel is super dangerous and expensive. It's really not worth the risk, cost and effort unless there's a very good reason to go there. There's really no reason to go back to the moon with a manned mission versus a robot. Even the H3 mining could be done with robots probably

 

[Marc]

We know Tammy wipes Jack's ass - But who's wiping Tammy's ass?



The Hamster reviewing that Ass To Mouth pizza under duress in some parking lot in the middle of the night, while someone drowning in his own aspiration pneumonia points a camera up at her distressed, WC Fields face from his wheelchair and snorts out wet coughs like a hungover bowel movement (including sounding like it has blood in it):

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Fat Fuck acts like he's a hard worker

 

[Dead Air]

Tammy's looking huge in this pizza ATM video.

At 3:33 in the pizza ATM video, Jack does another of the most repulsive laugh sounds he's been doing lately that's like a wet fart. I can't even figure out how air is travelling through his face or what to make a noise like that, but seems like it's new, since his last stroke.

God damn that ass sticks out a foot!

 

[Marc]

Fat Fuck acts like he's a hard worker

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If Jack wants to impress me, he can raise both arms and open both eyes like that able-bodied emoji is doing to convey his smugness for him. Imagine how fucking horrible his speech-to-text dictation of that self-congratulatory tweet must have sounded to anyone within earshot of the corner Tammy keeps his chair parked in with a filthy sheet draped over him like a failed Frankenstein experiment - Every syllable he croaks out resembling the ambience of a child playing with a whoopee cushion in the bathtub.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Fat Fuck acts like he's a hard worker

View attachment 7717792

He's sounding an awful lot like a faggot communist with his labor theory of value nonsense.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

#4: Jack has only had 3 strokes.


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That's obviously a fake picture. I can't see Great A'Tuin anywhere in it.

And this is assuming the machine isn't destroyed by ghetto groids or the like before you even pay for the machine. That's probably why this one is in a car lot, because those generally have security of some sort 24/7.

Reminds me of "HitchBOT" from years ago.

It was fitted with a GPS unit and had lots of success traveling across Canada and parts of Europe. The ideas was simple. You pick it up drive it in the direction it's heading. And then leave it for somebody else to help continue it's journey.

Then they tried it in the US. It got to Philly and was destroyed:

It really shows how some parts of the country are really fucked up compared to others and entire countries for that matter.

Jesus Christ that’s the widest, fattest ass I’ve ever seen. It’s comically huge.

Oh I've seen bigger in real life. Then there's pictures like this:

As South Park put it:

 

[Wendell Stamps]

Then they tried it in the US. It got to Philly and was destroyed:

Having no knowledge of this little social experiment, I was super intrigued until I scrolled to this and my sides split open

Thread tax: speaking of split open, the HAMS on Tammy; more stacked than Jack’s beloved Arby’s meat mountains that identify as ‘sandwiches.’ If only he wasn’t so stroked out, he could eat straight from the source!

(And now I’ve grossed myself out; sorry.)

 

[DeadwastePrime]

Then they tried it in the US. It got to Philly and was destroyed:

thats the problem
it went to philly

 

[the khat quaffer]

Imagine how fucking horrible his speech-to-text dictation of that self-congratulatory tweet must have sounded to anyone within earshot of the corner Tammy keeps his chair parked in with a filthy sheet draped over him like a failed Frankenstein experiment - Every syllable he croaks out resembling the ambience of a child playing with a whoopee cushion in the bathtub.

What I'm trippin on is how many attempts must Jacko have engaged in in order to get out even one sentence out correctly this way, let alone that nothingburger of a tweet complete with proper capitalization? I use speech to text a lot of the time, not out of laziness or inability to type (okay yeah some laziness), and despite my command of the English language the text tends to come out with the wrong spelling ~5-10% of the time at least once in a sentence. Usually with simple words like it's/its, your/you're, etc. And mine can't usually capitalize anything that isn't a proper noun. It's really no big deal to go in and fix them since I don't wanna come off as retarded to the other party and I have two functional hands, but it's a minor, ever-present issue.

So how did Jack pull this one off? Assuming he started life right-handed by himself with his left hand it must have taken a half hour on his own. A half hour to flex to nobody about 8 dead channels that get zero engagement.

Spoiler: truly a titan of industry

CwJ/JotG: the only seemingly consistent weekly/semi-weekly uploads
Movie Review: can't find them but i know he does them. poorly
Letters from Jack: last upload: 1 month ago
Food News: last upload was 2 months ago, 7 total "videos" aka youtube sharts in that godawful vertical style, where Jack lazily reads headlines other news sites have posted
F as in Faggot: uploads are all over the place, often not even on his own channel

These aren't even all individual channels. Food News is a playlist within his CwJ channel, his eye to eye podcast I can't find and don't feel like spending more than 5 minutes looking for it, 3 out of the 5 links on his CwJ main page are dead/404, there are four playlists for food wars, it's just... it's exhausting to paint a coherent picture of his mush-brain approach to a nascent media empire. where is tech time with Jack?! I want to see the latest chinesium claw gripper technology

Also those poor bastards he claims to be mentoring. What's he got to teach? How to get to the front of the line at a movie theater? How to calculate 7% of a restaurant tab? How to shotgun a pickle spear in one gulp?

thats the problem
it went to philly

Kinda based, that thing looks like a broke-ass power rangers villain. Rita Repulsa's on a budget.

Edit: Also it kind reminds of the Sandown Clown. Basically an urban legend (possibly true?) about a crazy homeless man living in the woods who dressed like a weird clown and like, ate with his ears. Scared the shit out of multiple kids.

 

[souschef]

Fat Fuck acts like he's a hard worker

View attachment 7717792

He's the JACK of all trades, master of none

 

[somevan712]

I wish the government would disappear him for getting too close to the "truth"

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I wish the government would disappear him for getting too close to the "truth"

They're probably waiting for the carnivore diet to do it for them

 

[Marc]

Jack is the type to throw a tantrum on all fronts about the libs trying to murder him the moment Tammy and Junior drop the news that they’re dumping him in a nursing home. Ever since that last stroke put three of his limbs in the grave, his whole existence has revolved around the fantasy of being some famous, important person on the Internet who is constantly being politically persecuted and suppressed for “always being right.”

He obviously lashes out in the form of a full diaper being thrown at any family failing to sufficiently play along or pay lip service to these meaty delusions.

 

[charlesdickens]

Tammy's looking huge in this pizza ATM video.

At 3:33 in the pizza ATM video, Jack does another of the most repulsive laugh sounds he's been doing lately that's like a wet fart. I can't even figure out how air is travelling through his face or what to make a noise like that, but seems like it's new, since his last stroke.

Damn you could eat the pizza off that lower back. So much for Profile by Sanford working for Tammy. Looks like a giant Bartlett Pear.

 

[Charlie Delicious]

Tammy's looking huge in this pizza ATM video.

At 3:33 in the pizza ATM video, Jack does another of the most repulsive laugh sounds he's been doing lately that's like a wet fart. I can't even figure out how air is travelling through his face or what to make a noise like that, but seems like it's new, since his last stroke.

Remember Profile by Sanford? Lol

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Damn you could eat the pizza off that lower back. So much for Profile by Sanford working for Tammy. Looks like a giant Bartlett Pear.

Her ASS his enormous It’s funny that it’s hard to notice her completely ridiculous body shape because all of your attention is on Jack’s crippled and morbidly obese condition. We needed to take a moment to even notice that Tammy is growing a comically enormous ass!


I hope that Josh spends at least a few minutes of an upcoming MATI lusting after that meat mountain known As Tammy’s dumper,

i wonder if black guys hit on her…..

Damn you could eat the pizza off that lower back. So much for Profile by Sanford working for Tammy. Looks like a giant Bartlett Pear.

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Reactions:ILikeYou and The Stranger

The lighting in the ford dealership parking lot, eating off of the hood of Tammy’s truck is 10x better than the lighting in Jack’s “studion kitchen” back home .

 

[Marc]

I hope that Josh spends at least a few minutes of an upcoming MATI kusting after that meat mountain know. As Tammy’s dumper,

i

Try typing with both hands.