Corrupt-a-Wish

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Wish granted. However upon your release the judge had ordered you to be on an Adult Sex Registry list and to remain at minimum 100 feet away from any and all adults. You end up having to move out of your comfortable 1 bedroom apartment and now reside underneath the slides at a nearby playground.
I wish my uncles would stop hitting on me.
 
Whatever those are, they now simply kill people.

I wish to be respected.
 
Dr W said:
Whatever those are, they now simply kill people.

I wish to be respected.
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You're highly respected in the horsefucking community for being able to take a full stallion up the arse and swallow another to the balls so the tips meet in the middle.

(For reference waterslide transfers make me want to kill other people anyway.)

I wish I could have a beer with Barack Obama and George Bush junior whilst rewatching the Trump inauguration and laughing.
 
LazarusOwenhart said:
You're highly respected in the horsefucking community for being able to take a full stallion up the arse and swallow another to the balls so the tips meet in the middle.

(For reference waterslide transfers make me want to kill other people anyway.)

I wish I could have a beer with Barack Obama and George Bush junior whilst rewatching the Trump inauguration and laughing.
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You do, but Obama and Bush are too busy fighting to make it worthwhile.

I wish my cat didn't wake me every day.
 
Exactly that happens. So much so, that it affects real life. Our reality cannot handle a universe in which @Dr W is good at such a task, and now it's breaking under the paradox. You doomed existence.

I wish that I, only I, could engage in criminal activity without any sort of consequence.
 
StillGullible said:
Exactly that happens. So much so, that it affects real life. Our reality cannot handle a universe in which @Dr W is good at such a task, and now it's breaking under the paradox. You doomed existence.

I wish that I, only I, could engage in criminal activity without any sort of consequence.
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Granted, but legal activity will get you arrested.

I wish I was better at corrupting wishes.
 
Granted! Now even your own wishes backfire.

I wish I would bo better on the finals.
 
It is but only but you have to pay a cash fee of 25% of purchase price to use it.

I wish I had a good quality audio transducer to go with my VR racing rig.
 
You get one but someone then breaks into your home to steal it and your VR stuff.

I wish could do funk dancing in self-defense, complete with that music from Persona 5.
 
You can, but you have to pay the licensing fee every time you use it.

I wish I could eat anything without gaining weight.
 
Your body loses any ability to gain calories from food. You slowly starve to death despite gorging yourself on any and all food provided to you. Medical professionals are baffled and you spend your final days being poked, prodded, scanned and tested by doctors. Eventually when you die your family are hounded by the weight loss industry who finally coerce your grieving mother into giving your body to their labs. Using the knowledge they gain from your corpse they develop a miracle weight loss drug that makes obesity and obesity related disease in any form a thing of the past. This is considered a miracle at first but soon provokes the ire of the fat acceptance movement who, robbed of their excuse to complain about anything and given new found publicity as the last fat people on Earth, turn militant. At first it's just protests but as the American economy tanks as sales of size 16 confederate flag tank tops and reinforced toilet seats falter, the protests turn violent. The impoverished United States, dealing with mass unemployment is ill prepared for the bombings and Trump, to save the economy issues an executive order outlawing the obesity cure and requiring every American to eat a regulation 4 pound block of cheese a day. With America fat, destabilized and still poor North Korea launches its missiles. Knowing total war is imminent Putin launches at the US too. Trump tries to respond but his cheese induced fatness has made his finger to pudgy to push the button. The US doesn't respond as Russian Nukes obliterate all life and North Korean ones drop harmlessly into the Sea of Japan or hit Australia or India or some shit.

TL;DR Thin you = Nuclear war you dick.

I wish I had a new MX5 badge to replace the one missing from my car.
 
Enjoy explaining how it got there once the owner of that badge reports it stolen.

I wish MLP was never rebooted, thus preventing the rise of the Bronies.
 
Granted, but in its place furries double in number in less than a year, and by the current year the furry fanbase encompasses all of the would-be bronies, thus exponentially increasing the amount of furries everywhere.

I wish whatever edits I made to a document, article, etc. on a website or in a book were permanent and couldn't be removed (i.e. if I blanked an entire article on Wikipedia it couldn't be changed or reverted).
 
Coster said:
Granted, but in its place furries double in number in less than a year, and by the current year the furry fanbase encompasses all of the would-be bronies, thus exponentially increasing the amount of furries everywhere.

I wish whatever edits I made to a document, article, etc. on a website or in a book were permanent and couldn't be removed (i.e. if I blanked an entire article on Wikipedia it couldn't be changed or reverted).
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Granted, but you make a typo and agonise over how stupid it was. You find yourself sinking into a deep depression as a result.

I wish that Australia had competent politicians.
 
DoshesToDoshes said:
Granted, but you make a typo and agonise over how stupid it was. You find yourself sinking into a deep depression as a result.

I wish that Australia had competent politicians.
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Granted. They are exceptionally competent, but everyone is afraid of them and bars trade. Australia's economy suffers as nobody has trade relations with them due to fear of their sudden competence.

I wish that I was omnipotent.
 
Dr W said:
Granted. They are exceptionally competent, but everyone is afraid of them and bars trade. Australia's economy suffers as nobody has trade relations with them due to fear of their sudden competence.

I wish that I was omnipotent.
Click to expand...

Granted. You are now God, and everyone blames you for everything bad that happens, even if they cause it.

I wish for more Trump salt.
 
Vorhtbame said:
Granted. You are now God, and everyone blames you for everything bad that happens, even if they cause it.

I wish for more Trump salt.
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The salt reaches critical levels. Trump is gunned down by an anonymous individual who is declared president for ending the salt. That individual? Shmorky.

I wish that my injuries were healed.
 
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