Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Doctor of Autism]

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[Tiresome]

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This absolutely sums up Jack. He is just enough of a permanently stunted child to want a TOY YAY (he always plops a Burger King crown on his misshapen skull) and absolutely enough of a glutton to demand it come with adult-size portions (still not enough for the lardo.)

 

[Bassomatic]

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While I agree with @Tiresome this is just such a fence sit of a post.

So many people of Jack and youngers age grew up with happy meals. You know they have a crazy resale for some reason... People are into collecting.

Also it's more goy slop so jack loves it.

 

[Troo and Honest]

No comment

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Jack is physically 85 years old, emotionally 8, and mentally 5.

 

[Tiresome]

Jack is physically 85 years old, emotionally 8, and mentally 5.

Funny, I would have said emotionally 2, considering how he instantly rages at the absolute tiniest inconvenience.

 

[Super Hans v2]

In Mach '21, Jack got excited about the vaccine for literally the only reason he would have.
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But I'm of the camp Jack absolutely got vaxxed, lied about it and will now spend the rest of his life shitting on people for making the same decision, because that's what he does in literally every other aspect of his diet and health.

To be honest, I don't think any of us would have thought Jack would betray his so-called principles for a single dollar. Maybe an a-log could make him go full libtard by sending him a $5 superchat.

I wouldn't be surprised if fatty accidentally devours his grandchild because MEAT GUD

That bastard child is a dead baby crawling for sure, but it'll probably be like this instead

 

[Bassomatic]

Funny, I would have said emotionally 2, considering how he instantly rages at the absolute tiniest inconvenience.

You know hes got to be SO cheerful to be around when Tammy has to change him.

I bet he doesn't even wait for her to wash her hands before he demands a treat for blowing out another adult diaper.

Remember this will be happening multiple times a day.

 

[Troo and Honest]

But I'm of the camp Jack absolutely got vaxxed, lied about it and will now spend the rest of his life shitting on people for making the same decision, because that's what he does in literally every other aspect of his diet and health.

The RFK MAHA enthusiasts and their like always tickle me.

Eebil seed oils are certainly what's making America unhealthy, it's not the triple quarter pounders with bacon and cheese that are doing it. Shake Shack being praised for switching to beef tallow is just peak comedy.

Vaccine? Fuck no. Random bullshit nutraceutical supplement that contains goat farts and weasel knees? Hell yeah, put it in a capsule and jam it down my throat.

 

[the khat quaffer]

No comment

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An adult happy meal? It might require two functioning hands!

>unusual whale
lol

https://fortune.com/2025/08/05/mcdonalds-adult-happy-meal-mystery-shake-mcdonaldland/

It's not remotely interesting, Jack. They already have adult happy meals. Get a shitty cheeseburger, a small fry and a drink. They have to emphasize "for adults" because "happy meal" inherently means "for kids". You know how those child-sized playhouses have the doorway at maaybe 4-5' tall? That's to let the adults and teenagers know, "this isn't for you."

i still have a soft spot for the hamburglar...robble robble

Low-key though I am kinda looking forward to a JotG at McD's. If a fucking chicken sauce can get Jack into his Scootypuff, this will have him camping outside the McDonald's store the night before.

That bastard child is a dead baby crawling for sure, but it'll probably be like this instead

I'm just waiting for the peak cope of "Brianna has a half-Jamaican grandmother" arc when the mud baby makes the scene.

I sometimes feel for Brianna. Neither she nor the little niglet deserve the Scalfanis.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

You know hes got to be SO cheerful to be around when Tammy has to change him.

I bet he doesn't even wait for her to wash her hands before he demands a treat for blowing out another adult diaper.

Remember this will be happening multiple times a day.

It's something that fatty has in common with Trump. No wonder he worships him

 

[densedance]

 

[Troo and Honest]

It is remarkable how dull this man's life is. Amberlynn-esque in his commitment to being boring.

 

[cleanerfromvenus]

I like how he finds out they don't offer the secret menu item at that wendy's and still orders food there instead of going to another one.

 

[Pig Cups]

LET'S DRINK DIRT - FOOD PREPPING​

(08/01/25)

Original:

PreserveTube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=17denvkfaYQ

Spoiler: Local Archive

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I skimmed the video before actually watching it. Sped up like this, it led me to think that Jack was attempting to suck potable water out of sewage.

Pretty sure he said on stream a few months ago that he has a revolver. But still stands that he can't reload

A semiautomatic pistol would actually be faster and easier for him to reload, even in his current state.

Simply eject the magazine and lock the new one into place with your functional hand. If you do this before the mag has been emptied, it eliminates the step of having to rack the locked-back slide forward. And even if the slide is locked back, the gun can easily be put back into battery via a quick flick of the slide stop, or even a manipulation against one’s thigh that moves the slide back just enough to release it forward.

He should just strategically position some loaded magazines low throughout the house for single-handed, gimped-out Tallahassee-style reloads from Zombieland (2009).


With a revolver, I picture Jack:
1.) struggling with the pull weight in double-action, and subsequently being too uncoordinated to safely decock from single-action without a negligent discharge.
2.) struggling to empty the cylinder of hot casings [even with the ejector rod]- there’s usually a couple that stubbornly don’t want to come out.
3.) being too uncoordinated to keep the cylinder from unwanted spinning while using a speed loader, or while manually reloading each chamber.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Fatty thinks people wanna watch Hammy review food and he thinks we believe that he just sat there and didn't eat anything

 

[Pig Cups]

"Sorry guise, new Jack on the Go is gonna be delayed for a couple weeks, my bowels are being obliterated by cryptosporidium"

I’d love to see him attempt to pronounce cryptosporidium amidst all of his gurgling.

Another "I LUV MOMMYWIFE" post

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Dear god, what in the absolute fuck is THAT???


Whenever I think that we’ve finally hit rock bottom as it relates to these abominable bitmojis, Jack somehow manages to break out a shovel and dig deeper. How do they keep getting worse like this??

 

[densedance]

Fatty thinks people wanna watch Hammy review food and he thinks we believe that he just sat there and didn't eat anything

I mean what normal gentleman wouldn't take his Wife to a (xyz you name it store) only for her to eat up by herself and preview Goyslop food?

 

[Adamska]

So the fat fucking retard decided to try and scam the government this week for *checks notes*

A normal Wendy's meal with a gimmick mystery sauce mix.

No seriously, that's it. At this point Jack would provide better and more interesting content if he did decide to start autistically reviewing what behind the dumpsters of these places would like. He could also then put it on PornHub.

Seriously, what a fucking snoozer of a video worth only a dislike and a skip to crash metrics.

I’d love to see him attempt to pronounce cryptosporidium amidst all of his gurgling.



Dear god, what in the absolute fuck is THAT???
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Whenever I think that we’ve finally hit rock bottom as it relates to these abominable bitmojis, Jack somehow manages to break out a shovel and dig deeper. How do they keep getting worse like this??

I think I saw that in my nightmares once. It was something I saw in between watching a swarm of locusts eating chrysalises of some other insect during one of the plagues of egypt or the time I choked to death in space. Feels like one of the last things you'd see before waking up.

 

[p1138]

Of course Fatty would want the Wendy's Grand Slam, a fucking 4x4 cheeseburger, and be upset that the location he chose didn't want to make such a stupid thing. It's not even new, that's been a thing for a couple years now, most people just aren't retarded enough to buy such a thing.

Fatty is upset that Tammy rated it an A, because not enough calories for him. Fatty is then upset that he doesn't understand which of the mystery sauces is supposed to be "spicy" as if any fast food place does anything actually spicy.

Wait a minute, what's that when Fatty pans left to right? Hmm, They're only showing 1 meal throughout the video, and Tammy is pretending she's the only one eating...

Crazy how there's a whole extra meal sitting off to the side, that like usual Fatty can't fucking hide properly.

 

[AnOminous]

How is this fat retard even still alive? His voice sounds like a death rattle.