Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Pig Cups]

You know hes got to be SO cheerful to be around when Tammy has to change him.

I bet he doesn't even wait for her to wash her hands before he demands a treat for blowing out another adult diaper.

Remember this will be happening multiple times a day.

There are probably some days where Jack defecates while seated and clothed, which forms a tightly flattened pie between his buttocks and his drawers/pants. Imagine a nail head, but made of shit.

And TamTam has to then clean it. Her hands must smell like rust.

They already have adult happy meals. Get a you shitty cheeseburger, a small fry and a drink.

FTFY.

 

[the khat quaffer]

I like how he finds out they don't offer the secret menu item at that wendy's and still orders food there instead of going to another one.

This reminds me of an entitled Karen type customer grabbing an employee at a retail store and asking them if they have any ____ "in the back", being told no, everything they have is on the shelves, and then the customer asking "well can you go check anyways" only for the employee to acquiesce, go to the back, have a cigarette to kill time, then come back and tell them "we are out".

Also, Jack once had Tammy drive an hour allegedly to get some slop pizza at an ATM in the middle of the night, but couldn't get her to drive 15-25 minutes to another Wendy's? She might be getting tired of his shit.

Highlights:
Sees "MEAL OF MISFORTUNE" on a promotional poster. There IS a light shining on the text, but it covers the L, which at first glance made me think "meat of misfortune". This is relevant only because Gurgles says "MINT...no, MEAL of misfortune". It's hard to mistake the E as an I.
"This location is not allowed to make the secret menu item" how is a location "not allowed" to sell an item? Never heard that phrasing anywhere. I imagine them WANTING not to sell something for financial reasons. Like idk poor sales or trying to sell a baconator across the street from a mosque or synagogue.
"Grand Slam" at Wendy's is four. Fucking. Patties. Cheez, baycun... getting some heart attack grill vibes.
The mystery pink sauce looks like tubby custard. Methinks food dyes are at work, the same food dyes Jack recently tweeted were bad for you. But not for Tammy!

This is just the popeye's new sauce video all over again.

How is this fat retard even still alive? His voice sounds like a death rattle.

Your tax dollars at work.

 

['Ol Stinky]

I got a little existentially scared for a second during that Wendy's review that there are probably in the hundred thousands if not millions of people that function daily like TamTam and Jack. Slur, gurgle, shuffle, munch, slur, gurgle. Drive to Wawmar. Slur. Gurgle.

Ever imagine if Jack said one coherent normal sentence? Not labored, or contorted, or slurred, but one whole-hearted genuine sentence. The fact that I can't think of a single one is driving me insane.

Jack you and Tammy both don't know what the Addams Family is??

 

[ZipDisk]

Someone should gift him an exercise bike.

They had a bike, usual fatty bike fate, became a clothing hanger.

to another Wendy's

This is sadly not confined to fatties. Most people, once they sit down, they will eat at the restaurant, even if treated like shit. They will then go home and complain about shitty service, surcharge, "they were out" or "They wouldn't make it for me."

Ozzy went without his pain medication for that last show and raised thousands of dollars for children's hospice.

Jack's church chili was made with moldy meat and he bitched when he didn't win.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

No comment

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Other than the toy or whatever merch they're giving with it... what's the point? You go to McDonald's and buy your damn food. Fatty is just interested because he's a consumer whore.

Wait a minute, what's that when Fatty pans left to right? Hmm, They're only showing 1 meal throughout the video, and Tammy is pretending she's the only one eating...
View attachment 7746100
Crazy how there's a whole extra meal sitting off to the side, that like usual Fatty can't fucking hide properly.

It's obvious that those are HIS sauces that he's going to eat with HIS nuggies and fries.

He just can't show it on camera because they're not carnivore even if he's shown that he's not on that kick anymore.

He should just strategically position some loaded magazines low throughout the house for single-handed, gimped-out Tallahassee-style reloads from Zombieland (2009).

Even if that was possible he'd still be unable to do it in time.

 

[ANF]

Even if that was possible he'd still be unable to do it in time.

Little bit of lead... *slams the pistol into the table*

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Look how much Tammy is mugging the camera in this one.


I think she knows that kiwifarmers have noticed her giant ass, and that she is a little flattered by it.

 

[AltisticRight]

No comment

View attachment 7744829

Do they have to? This fat fuck will buy and gobble whatever gross slop they pump out while bitching and moaning about nonsensical bullshit such he doesn't understand like rockets, moons, vaccines and films.
Nothing changes. Stroke tomorrow please.

 

[Laura Pallmall]

I got a little existentially scared for a second during that Wendy's review that there are probably in the hundred thousands if not millions of people that function daily like TamTam and Jack. Slur, gurgle, shuffle, munch, slur, gurgle. Drive to Wawmar. Slur. Gurgle.

Middle America is a fascinating hellscape. Benign in nature, like the decay of a corpse, and Jack is the case study.

 

[Pig Cups]

I think she knows that kiwifarmers have noticed her giant ass, and that she is a little flattered by it.

My DMs are open, Tammers. Just sayin’!

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Fatass Crybaby

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Fatass Crybaby

View attachment 7749770

I wonder if fatty finally discovered those reaction videos to him eating raw chicken

 

[ZipDisk]

Fuck you Jack, PCLM LA RESISTANCE!

 

[Tiresome]

I wonder if fatty finally discovered those reaction videos to him eating raw chicken

I think he'd be deeply butthurt that Asian minstrel-show Uncle Woger or the "professional chefs" that apparently have enough time on their hands to mock youtube crap are all pulling higher numbers reacting to his videos than he ever got doing them.

 

[ZipDisk]

No, it's straight up he hates PCLM and refuses to admit it exists. They get his shitty little DMCA filings thrown out regularly, to the tune of "America, FUCK YEAH".
It's that simple.

Multiple people have also tricked Jack into "shouting them out" on livestreams. Because Jack is a stupid fuck.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Either can be an actual danger. I'm going to go with manatee. Fat, slow, dumb and helpless.

True... but manatees also have this going for them (source):

This adorable species is a marine mammal with a gentle and docile personality that is also known as a marine cow because of their vegetarian diet.

Jack is no manatee. Taxonomically and canonically, he is much worse than a manatee, surely?

Or the result of Operation Infinite Walrus.

Have you seen the revival episodes? Jack's true form is also quite similar to that of Nü Bill, which emerged when Hank left for Saudi Arabia.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Two hillbillies going to Wendy's vs. Rob on the Run.

 

[Marc]

Two hillbillies going to Wendy's vs. Rob on the Run.

Hillbillies would immediately clock the Fatties as fake southerners who live larger than they can afford; and would politely excuse themselves from the situation after tolerating them with minimal hospitality and barely-concealed disgust.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

True... but manatees also have this going for them (source):

This adorable species is a marine mammal with a gentle and docile personality that is also known as a marine cow because of their vegetarian diet.

Jack is no manatee. Taxonomically and canonically, he is much worse than a manatee, surely?


Have you seen the revival episodes? Jack's true form is also quite similar to that of Nü Bill, which emerged when Hank left for Saudi Arabia.

I have another KOTH analogy….

I like to think of Garret and Junior as Good Hank and Bad Hank. Jack is Cotton Scalafani.

Jack goes from hating to loving one of the boys over the other depending on which one reminds him less of how much a loser he is at the moment. He resents both of them unless he thinks that the opposite will get him some props from his imaginative YouTube audience of admirers.