Money FB 4/22 - Barb borrowed from life insurance, eBay updates

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Non-sequitr question, I know, but this does make me wonder what will be done with Chris's body when he dies, as of course he'll have no significant others or family who would want to give him a large funeral.
A paupers funeral attended by a few well wishers and a few weens, he will not even have a grave since cremation in a cardboard box is standard and a few years after people will forget about him altogether.

Isn't Cole a stay at home dad? Lots of people in here flipping out about him laying around all day and drinking craft beer or whatever but plenty of stay at home moms have dumb little side hobbies that don't make any real money like selling jewelry on Etsy or whatever. I don't really buy the narrative that stay at home parents have the hardest job in the world but it's a valid household arrangement. Cole is a pretentious dick but if the missus makes enough money for one parent to be able to stay home with the kids (and throw an ill-informed movie review online now and then), what's the issue?

No children have ever been mentioned, all we know for sure is that he has a sugar mommy.
 
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I could be wrong about children. @Marvin can you confirm or deny?

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Well, he plays in a jazz band. They've got kids together. She seems to make good money. He has gotten his reviews printed in a few rags (in the middle of nowhere) before. And of course, there was the Toy Story thing.
 
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I don't know if it should count, it took him a long time to figure out it was all a spoof of him. For a while he thought they were legit competitors, like Go-bots vs Transformers. I still don't think he gets it was more like Scream vs Scary Movie.
Nah, he realized pretty early on that Asperchu's bewda belly was mocking him personally.
 
If cole had a kid I'm sure Chris would have doxed that little maggot by now

I don't think Cole wants Chris finding out if he has kids. Frankly, I can't blame him if he does, because Christian is downright terrifying when you consider he is a 35 year old man who is so childish he gave a party favor bag at the end of a date visit to his house. How do you even explain the transgender crap anyway, when it is about a relatively overweight man whose only attempt at visibly being female is dying his hair sickly green?
 
I don't think Cole wants Chris finding out if he has kids. Frankly, I can't blame him if he does, because Christian is downright terrifying when you consider he is a 35 year old man who is so childish he gave a party favor bag at the end of a date visit to his house. How do you even explain the transgender crap anyway, when it is about a relatively overweight man whose only attempt at visibly being female is dying his hair sickly green?
Relatively overweight compared to an elephant?
 
Nah, he realized pretty early on that Asperchu's bewda belly was mocking him personally.

I get that, but from your point of view did he ever get the whole thing was mocking his life?
I always felt that he saw it as someone trying to steal his fans away, all the fantastic videos were pleas for you to stop appropriating from him and confusing his fans into thinking it was true and honest content. Lets be real, Chris's ego, if it fell from space and entered the atmosphere would stop life on earth as we know it.
You were stealing his likeness/content to get access to his millions of fans, it took him a long time to realize it was all to mock, the whole thing.
 
I get that, but from your point of view did he ever get the whole thing was mocking his life?
I always felt that he saw it as someone trying to steal his fans away, all the fantastic videos were pleas for you to stop appropriating from him and confusing his fans into thinking it was true and honest content. Lets be real, Chris's ego, if it fell from space and entered the atmosphere would stop life on earth as we know it.
You were stealing his likeness/content to get access to his millions of fans, it took him a long time to realize it was all to mock, the whole thing.
A simple google search could have told Chris that Jimmy Hill was a British celebrity rather than a troll, do not underestimate his stupidity.
 
I don't think Cole wants Chris finding out if he has kids. Frankly, I can't blame him if he does, because Christian is downright terrifying when you consider he is a 35 year old man who is so childish he gave a party favor bag at the end of a date visit to his house. How do you even explain the transgender crap anyway, when it is about a relatively overweight man whose only attempt at visibly being female is dying his hair sickly green?

"Honey, your Uncle Chris is a bit... different. He's sort of like that slow boy in your class; he doesn't exactly understand the world and lives in the make-believe land in his head. He was just born a bit funny and your grandma didn't understand what kind of help he'd need."

But in all seriousness, it would be smart of Cole to keep any children on the down-low. Chris doesn't need yet another relative to complain about (or rather, complain about not knowing).
 
A simple google search could have told Chris that Jimmy Hill was a British celebrity rather than a troll, do not underestimate his stupidity.

No I get that, that's why I'm saying, I don't think Chris ever really fully grasped that Asperchu was a big fucking joke at his expense.
I'm pretty sure he gets it now, but he's had years of people basically informing him that it was.
 
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No I get that, that's why I'm saying, I don't think Chris ever really fully grasped that Asperchu was a big fucking joke at his expense.
I'm pretty sure he gets it now, but he's had years of people basically informing him that it was.

I agree with what you said, expect for "That he does now."
No. No he does not. Even now.
 
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Isn't Cole a stay at home dad? Lots of people in here flipping out about him laying around all day and drinking craft beer or whatever but plenty of stay at home moms have dumb little side hobbies that don't make any real money like selling jewelry on Etsy or whatever. I don't really buy the narrative that stay at home parents have the hardest job in the world but it's a valid household arrangement. Cole is a pretentious dick but if the missus makes enough money for one parent to be able to stay home with the kids (and throw an ill-informed movie review online now and then), what's the issue?
He's a public figure who puffs himself up. We're picking apart the silly ways in which he presents himself.

It's a valid household arrangement. But validity aside, if you're the brother of a lolcow (and really, with the toy story shit, a lolcow of your own), and you pretend to be a movie critic, but you're not actually one, you might have some scrutiny placed upon you.
Apologize for double posting.

I could be wrong about children. @Marvin can you confirm or deny?

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Uhh, beats me. I thought I heard they had kids somewhere. I could be mistaken.
I get that, but from your point of view did he ever get the whole thing was mocking his life?
I always felt that he saw it as someone trying to steal his fans away, all the fantastic videos were pleas for you to stop appropriating from him and confusing his fans into thinking it was true and honest content. Lets be real, Chris's ego, if it fell from space and entered the atmosphere would stop life on earth as we know it.
You were stealing his likeness/content to get access to his millions of fans, it took him a long time to realize it was all to mock, the whole thing.
No, I think people get too extreme with their descriptions of the extent of Chris' autism.

Autism makes it hard to understand subtleties, not impossible.

Autism makes your perception of subtleties fuzzy and it makes you second guess yourself when complaining about something. If you're autistic and something bothers you, it's not that you're blissfully unaware and unable to notice the problem. It's more that you've got a strong, uncomfortable feeling about the problem, but you just can't put your finger on what it is.

Chris knew that Asperchu looked like him. Chris knew there was something wrong with Asperchu. Chris also knew Alec had deliberately drawn Asperchu that way in some sort of reference to himself.

Instead of having one big complaint about Asperchu (like he did when @Alec Benson Leary SET HIM ON FIRE!!), Chris had a dozen little complaints about Asperchu.

That's how it was with Liquid Chris and Vivian G's novel. Chris knew that something was "off", but it was hard to put his finger on exactly what it is.
 
Whats even more funny is my Youtube suggestions. How convienient... ahhh ha ha.

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I mean, can you imagine getting to middle age and discovering that the world views you as an intersection between hipsters and Chris-Chan?

There are some people on YouTube who turned their content into full time jobs and are successful enough to live off that. What Cole doesn't understand is that those people have an audience and, more importantly, an audience willing to help support their endeavors. He should realize since he utterly fails at being a critic anyone gives a shit about, he needs to finance his own projects. To normal people, this means a J-O-B.
If he can't be arsed to find a job, he should at least work for his wife and earn a paycheck/allowance that way and get himself to film festivals.
The problem is that he's not willing to play the game. Knowing about Truffaut or Kurosawa is great, but no one really gives a shit. The critics people listen to may really know their stuff when it comes to the art of cinema, but they also know what you want to know when you read their review of the latest Marvel or Pixar film. Cole doesn't. He just pitches everything at this highfalutin' level that is useful to no one.
 
Maybe Chris was the master troll in the end.

10 years in the making, but still...

There's a rule to Chris. What comes up, must come down.

Whatever gains he achieves, he is quick to either sabotage or diminish them completely.

Giving Chris money is "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day" but if you then append, "And then he thinks he's the grandmaster fisherman of planet Earth, pissing off everyone with his arrogance, until he's starving again the next day."
 
Chris could've made almost 20 times as much as that shirt is worth in the last 10 years with his CADD degree. ...So, no.
Who the fuck would employ someone that took 6 years to complete a 2 year degree? Technically it was only 5 academic years but I think being banned from campus for a year counts against him as well.
 
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