- Joined
- Mar 24, 2016
Almost every abuser follows the "abuse, then indulge" pattern. The idea that they weren't being abused because sometimes they're allowed to do crazy shit is abuser logic crystallized into its purest form.
If there's one thing this does, I hope some kids who were fans can realize that being scared of your parents all the time, being forced to scream and cry and cower, that's not normal. If you're a kid in an environment like that, you think it's normal and everyone's going through that. The reason their child fans are so reluctant to admit that this is abuse is that they live in dysfunctional, abusive households, and admitting that Cody is a victim would be admitting they are, too. Some people aren't willing to admit to abuse victim status even in adulthood -- imagine knowing you could be sent to live with strangers.
But even the knowledge that it's not right is important when you're a kid in a madhouse. Even if you know you can't get out yet, and even if you have to tolerate the intolerable, knowing that it's not forever (and that the world isn't all like your family) is critical to having enough of a sense of self to succeed when you finally get away.
If there's one thing this does, I hope some kids who were fans can realize that being scared of your parents all the time, being forced to scream and cry and cower, that's not normal. If you're a kid in an environment like that, you think it's normal and everyone's going through that. The reason their child fans are so reluctant to admit that this is abuse is that they live in dysfunctional, abusive households, and admitting that Cody is a victim would be admitting they are, too. Some people aren't willing to admit to abuse victim status even in adulthood -- imagine knowing you could be sent to live with strangers.
But even the knowledge that it's not right is important when you're a kid in a madhouse. Even if you know you can't get out yet, and even if you have to tolerate the intolerable, knowing that it's not forever (and that the world isn't all like your family) is critical to having enough of a sense of self to succeed when you finally get away.