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💰 GrifterJeremy Hambly / The Quartering / MTGHeadquarters / Unsleeved Media / Midwestly - Buttblasted manchild upset he was banned from a childrens' card game, Grifter, supporter of the cancel culture
Either I didn't understand what Quarterpounder is trying to say with "I am also down close to 40 lbs" or that is the most atrocious lie I have ever seen.
40lbs is approximately 20kg. Hambly looks to be about 180cm in height. A human of that size will die, usually of cardiac failure, at about 35kg (these minima are not exact, but 20kg is unreasonably low and would probably constitute a new "record").
The photograph, which seems to be contemporaneous, also contradicts such a claim, as it shows him to be morbidly obese, not marasmically cachectic.
The most charitable reason for his claim I can think of is that Fatso wanted to say "I have lost approximately 40lbs" but his English was too shit (or that his statement means this in American English?).
Alternatively, he doesn't give a fuck if anyone believes what he says or not.
Well it took me like 30 seconds to find an old video of him saying he was NOT popular in high school. This starts off with him saying that "people who are bullied become bullies" but insists that he was never bullied because he's always been too much of a tough guy to put up with that shit. Go ahead and draw your own conclusions.
I can actually believe that this guy was a huge nerd but also looked physically fit enough that he didn't get bullied (much) in high school. That actually really happens for some people
The most charitable reason for his claim I can think of is that Fatso wanted to say "I have lost approximately 40lbs" but his English was too shit (or that his statement means this in American English?).
Alternatively, he doesn't give a fuck if anyone believes what he says or not.
I would just like to point out that in the first screencap he has the whole post in his fucking clipboard. Jumbo Hambumbly, aka The Quarterpounder, was sitting alone for God's knows how long with his phone in his grubby, sausage finger hands, trembling, crying, shaking, meticulously crafting the perfect smug, lying cope post going through multiple revisions.
edit: I just realized it could be even worse. He might have asked grok to write this shit for him.
Well it took me like 30 seconds to find an old video of him saying he was NOT popular in high school. This starts off with him saying that "people who are bullied become bullies" but insists that he was never bullied because he's always been too much of a tough guy to put up with that shit. Go ahead and draw your own conclusions.
This implies there's like some sort of infinite ouroboros of increasingly weaker nerds to get pushed around. They literally get bullied because they're weak beta spineless nerds, who are they turning around and bullying? Toddlers? Uno reverse the football team?
And anyone that sensitive about their hairline+smugface DEFINITELY was bullied in school. Normal people who weren't bullied aren't as severely neurotic about their faults, it's the people that had them poked at for years upon years.
The next/final step in the fish grift for Quarter-Ton is to have his giant saltwater fish tank "mysteriously" shatter and flood salt water throughout the house. It'd ruin a lot of the interior, especially the flooring, and lead to a massive insurance claim and pay-out.
Trying not to go bald is the dumbest thing to me. Just be man. Stop talking about hair plugs or transplants. Shave that shit or wear a hat 24/7. You're a man, act like it.
I scrolled through the thread and it hasn't been posted yet - here's Kino Casino's conditions for Jeremy to be invited onto the show (clipped in the KC thread here)
I can actually believe that this guy was a huge nerd but also looked physically fit enough that he didn't get bullied (much) in high school. That actually really happens for some people
I think the only reason he didn't get bullied is because he's fairly tall. He probably didn't start displaying symptoms of his repulsive gluttony until towards the end of high school.
And he probably smelled so bad, that the bullies didn't want to actually be close enough to smell him.
It's more the idea that the nerd gets promoted within industry because they supposedly have intelligence, and become the boss of the jock who just has the physicality. Not that the nerds will ever bully them physically, rather that they expect to flex their expected better lifestyle as an adult. I mean, does that not exactly describe how Jeremy 'owns his haters' these days?
Trying not to go bald is the dumbest thing to me. Just be man. Stop talking about hair plugs or transplants. Shave that shit or wear a hat 24/7. You're a man, act like it.
The next step in the fish grift for Quarter-Ton is to have his giant saltwater fish tank "mysteriously" shatter and flood salt water throughout the house. It'd ruin a lot of the interior, especially the flooring, and lead to a massive insurance claim and pay-out.
Coffee is such a stupid thing to hawk online. You can probably go to a numbers of places that sell coffee in your area locally and get better coffee for less money.
You have to be a world class asshole to try and compete with folgers as well as the countless other brands that internet grifters are constantly shilling.
Coffee is such a stupid thing to hawk online. You can probably go to a numbers of places that sell coffee in your area locally and get better coffee for less money.
You have to be a world class asshole to try and compete with folgers as well as the countless other brands that internet grifters are constantly shilling.
His mistake was trying to sell coffee under his name that is "apolitical" and generic looking. It'd be like if Alex Jones made a coffee brand then tried to sell it as a generic Amazon Basics looking coffee. The only way it ever had a chance of at least a modicum of success, is if he just went all out with the political spergery and sold it as an alternative to Mossad's Black Rifle Coffee.
Even KingCobraJFS was smarter with his money than Hamblurgler.
His mistake was trying to sell coffee under his name that is "apolitical" and generic looking. It'd be like if Alex Jones made a coffee brand then tried to sell it as a generic Amazon Basics looking coffee. The only way it ever had a chance of at least a modicum of success, is if he just went all out with the political spergery and sold it as an alternative to Mossad's Black Rifle Coffee.
Even KingCobraJFS was smarter with his money than Hamblurgler.
"Coffee brand coffee" is so fucking generic for a name, too. I can imagine myself watching a TV show and that would be the coffee they use because of trademark lmao. Like when you see somebody drinking a beer on TV and it's just a white can that says "beer" in block letters.
His two biggest mistakes were that he didn't focus on regular and decaf. He went the route of 50 different custom flavors.
His second mistake was he obviously appeals to right-wing people, he should have made the coffee for them, but his dumb ass didn't commit. That probably really fucked him after the 2024 election proved we were the definitive majority.
My understanding of Kino Casino's bit is that they know Quartering is not broke, by any means, but it's a way to make fun of his persistent begging.
Even looking at his most recent uploads, the guy is getting around 300K views a day, which averages to about 9 million a month. That's more than enough to make a very good living. And it doesn't take into account sponsorships, donations or memberships.
The only way it comes close to being legit is that his lifestyle and spending outpaces his quite good income but the problem is then you have to rely on testimony from Jeremy exclusively and he has every reason to lie about it.
For instance, I could very easily see, at his current rate, earning 20-30K a month. This is a 1% income. But is it a Rolex collection, owning multiples planes, starting vanity project businesses level of income? Maybe when all his competition on the right was censored and he was the only game in town, he was earning at that level.
If he is earning millions a year still and is a baller who can afford this wasteful spending, then he is reprehensible for crying poor to his audience and getting them to bail him out. If his side projects are actually successful by themselves and don't need bailing out, then he is scum for guilting his audience to buying $100 coffee with freeze dried strawberries.
But, if he is earning less to the point where his current expenses are unsustainable, then, that is Jeremy's problem. Treating very fickle internet success like it's a salaried job where you think you'll earn a set amount or more for life is the dumbest thing on Earth and he should only be laughed at for being that retarded.
To me, Quartering really isn't any different from Kevin Gibes, or DSP. A big manchild who got a lucky break, which ran out, and fraudulently begs to sustain his avaricious spending habits.
Edit: also, his rumble livestream views are definitely fake. 0% chance you routinely pull 40/50K but somehow can't get channel members.
This implies there's like some sort of infinite ouroboros of increasingly weaker nerds to get pushed around. They literally get bullied because they're weak beta spineless nerds, who are they turning around and bullying? Toddlers? Uno reverse the football team?
And anyone that sensitive about their hairline+smugface DEFINITELY was bullied in school. Normal people who weren't bullied aren't as severely neurotic about their faults, it's the people that had them poked at for years upon years.
Jeremy bullied the shit out of the same bunch of nerds he's deflecting blame to in this video when most of them were just asking him to stop scaring the hoes. He definitely deserves much worse than what he's gotten from Kino Casino since he built his career off bullying people on the internet and sending armies of trolls after random nobodies.
With that said since this thread is getting attention now I might as well stop being lazy and drop some clips.
Friday's show: The Beggering is in full effect. Maximum Grift. Gimmie Money Stream.
Jeremy reads a super chat saying his show is better solo. He says that everyone says that and once his contract is up he won't be able to afford the cohosts so you might get your wish. Then he looks incredibly sad for a moment because he knows his dream of being the next Tim Pool is dying. He then says that's why he needs 3000 people each giving him $6 a month to post in a Discord so he can pay the staff but members are not growing like he hoped. He then begs people to join the Discord or on Rumble and says you can talk to him in the Discord. Hold that thought. He says he wanted to give people a break on shilling this week because he ran so many ads last week. Fact check he pushed the Discord Friday, Thursday, and Tuesday. That is Quartering's version of laying off the pitch.
Ten minutes later and Jeremy now wants 100 people to sign up for the Discord. He says you can talk directly to him there. The top comment on this stream is a paypig raging out on him for lying about being there when he never is. Again he lies that he hasn't pushed the Discord all week. He pitched it at least once 3 out of 5 days.
Quartering goes into another pitch for the Discord. Now it's a "membership drive." Jeremy is hoping he can get 100 new members today, he gives his best sad puppy look and says that things are "getting a spooky out there." What the fuck does that mean Jeremy? You need to cut down to 2 Rolex's a year? At the beginning of this clip Jeremy promises he won't mention it again this show. Can you guess what the next clip is?
Jeremy is so happy that someone finally joined he shouts him out live on air. We're now over an hour into the show and have the first signup. Of course this causes him to go directly into the NPR sales pitch. If you give a fuck about the show please go sign up right now we need your support.
End of the show he runs and ad break into one last shill. Now he's working hard all weekend for the "subathon." We've gone from please join my Discord to a full blown subathon in 80 minutes. Holy shit Jer we better wrap this show up before we end up with a Super Subtober Extravaganza. Now the subathon lasts all weekend to hit the 100 member goal and Quartering will be doing a bunch of streams all weekend until we hit our goal. (He did zero streams) Then he reads some superchats and Quartering raids Dr. Disre-pedophile to brighten up his day. Whoa Doc only has 1300 viewers, that's kind of sad. Yeah Jeremy maybe because he admitted to sexting an underaged girl and only fucking freaks like you still follow him.
Left over clips from Thursday. Jeremy is a fat oaf, offends his cousin by saying women shouldn't have the right to vote thenmakes Hannah have a full body super ick reaction by making a crude sexist joke.
Jeremy's female cousin was offended Jeremy wanted to repeal the 19th amendment. He briefly can't remember if it's the 18th or 19th amendment to the constitution that he wants repealed to stop dumb bitches from voting but luckily the women are there to remind him. Jeremy can't believe that people like his cousin actually exist that use feminist terms like misogynistic when some fat retard who hasn't read a book in 20 years tells them they shouldn't be able to vote.
A couple minutes after that and Melanie is trying to tell Quartering about her all female Overwatch server. Jeremy jokes they were called "Overtwats" and you can tell from Hannah's reaction she knows exactly how Jeremy's cousin feels.
Jer got shitted on by Dr Drew's production team.
Jeremy went on Doctor Drew's show Wednesday. The production team used to most embarrassing picture of him on the front page of Google image search for his bumper then they made a meme of Trump seeing the picture and laughing at it and ran it on a split screen for almost a full minute while Jeremy was talking.
They know he's a lolcow there's no way this is normal operating procedure.
From Wednesday's show. Jeremy goes on a rant about food stamps and how the people who don't need it and take it anyways ruin everything. He then realizes he took $32500 worth of PPP loans he didn't need and goes on a side rant about how people shouldn't be shamed for taking PPP loans they didn't need and it would actually be stupid not to take them. He then puts together that he has the same mentality as the entitled people he's talking shit about who take the EBT except that they are poor and he's rich and thus actually needs it even less.
Jeremy has been following the same playbook with Kino Casino that he has done every time he gets clowned on. He just continually insists he's not owned and not mad about the people making fun of him but it's clear he's just desperate to make himself believe it. For example it has been over 5 years since the basement piss stream and he's still coping about it. So in honor of him getting clowned by the Casino I wanted to go over some basement piss related clips as this was the beginning of Quartering's lolcow career. Most people probably know about the basement pissing but less people know this stream was actually a dark and twisted journey into the mind of a blackout drunk Jeremy who just got cucked by a pizza with some of the most shameless e-begging ever captured on film. Just proof that nothing has really changed and he's always been like this.
Sadly this is the most complete surviving media about the stream, posted by a farms member years ago. Remember only LEFTISTS think making fun of Jeremy for this is an own.
Until the Casino came along this was Jeremy's defining moment and this video has haunted him to this very day.
I went back and collected clips of some of his cohosts learning about this piss stream live on air then mocking him about it later. Styx learns about the basement piss stream during a discussion on whether Jeremy should run for office (lol).
Styx tells a story about how he was fucked up and peed on a door. Jeremy one ups him with a story where he went to piss and forgot to take his dick out so he just pissed his pants. Styx is just like okay bro never done that you win, you definitely piss more places you shouldn't then me.
Back when Jeremy's cat was pissing on his furniture he complains "that little bastard was pissing in my basement" and even though Jer is raging Styx absolutely loses his shit laughing for obvious reasons.
Jeremy brings up the drain pissing again and Styx laughs out loud.
Jeremy takes a bathroom break and Styx reads a superchat about Jeremy pissing in the basement then defends his freedom to piss on the floor.
Jeremy is defending himself for offering Dr Disrespect firm handshakes after he admitted to sexting and trying to fuck an underaged girl. He jumps to the "this is not an own" cope which reminds him of his basement drain piss stream because that's the same weak cope he uses for that incident. Melanie laughs "I didn't know that" then jumps in to defend him that people make fun of her for being dehydrated too so that's basically the same thing as pissing into your floor twice on stream because you are too drunk to walk up a flight of stairs. Quartering goes back to super cope about how pissing in your basement drain is a totally normal thing to do while Melanie just watches on awkwardly then drops in a joke at his expense.
When Quartering's cat was pissing on his stuff he starts to tell Melanie about "pissgate." "Oh no did you piss somewhere else that wasn't the basement drain." Hannah chimes in that people told her about Quartering pissing in the drain when she started working for him, rofl. Jeremy goes on a long cope about how pissing down a basement drain is totally normal and everyone does it proving how not triggered he is while the girls laugh at him. Yeah Jeremy, first off it's kind of weird to piss in the drain in your basement and second it's a lot weirder to do it twice while livestreaming to Twitch.
Melanie makes jokes about the basement drain pissing now because she knows it's funny and that he's a weirdo for that shit.
Luke finds out about basement pissing when Melanie makes fun of him when he gets up to take a call. It becomes even funnier when Quartering comes back and said it was a call from the vet about "pissgate." (which was his cat pissing on his $30000 custom chairs but also what people called his drunken piss stream)
Then of course the time Dankula came on stream and brought up the pants shitting. Jeremy immediately pivots to coping over the drain pissing saying it's a totally normal thing and tries to get Dankula to cop to pissing in his sink or drain. Dankula is basically like "IDK man I guess I shit weird places when I'm camping."
So clearly all his cohosts think that shit is funny and weird and it's hilarious to watch him try to act like it's not. Let's look at some clips of him coping about it solo over the years though because you'll see the exact same shit play out over the people making fun of him now.
When the basement pissing thing first blew up Quartering knew a lot of his audience didn't know the whole story so he tried to play it off like it was just a story he told about pissing down the drain and not something he did while blackout drunk in the middle of a livestream. Either way it's definitely NOT AN OWN and he's definitely not upset about it! Yes Jeremy we are also going to make fun of you for shitting your pants especially since you admitted it happens all the fucking time and you can't leave the house without corking your shit whistle with a handful of Immodium or you are definitely taking your diaper to brown town.
3 years later he's still clearly seething about pissing in a drain being his legacy and goes on a tangent about it while talking about Nick Rekieta's oopsies. God damn that fucking shit just haunts me still 3 years later BUT IT'S NOT AN OWN AND IT DON'T FUCKING CARE.
4 years later and Jeremy has decided drinking on stream is a bad idea and he won't do it any more. Nothing in particular happened though to cause that it just leads to bad things (lol).
Now we're at a few months ago Jeremy is covering South Park making fun of Trump. Hey this is totally not an own so time to talk about that thing that I totally don't care about but still bring up unprompted all the time 5 years later. IT'S NOT AN OWN AND HE DOESN"T FUCKING CARE AND IF YOU BRING IT UP HE WILL ACTUALLY OWN YOU BY NOT REACTING HOW YOU WANT HIM TO!
This is from a few weeks ago. Case in point of Jeremy not giving haters the reaction they want when they troll him by reading their message live on stream reacting to it then shooting a death stare into his second monitor clearly seething because he is NOT MAD AND THIS IS NOT AN OWN!
