💰 Grifter Jeremy Hambly / The Quartering / MTGHeadquarters / Unsleeved Media / Midwestly - Buttblasted manchild upset he was banned from a childrens' card game, Grifter, supporter of the cancel culture

Trying not to go bald is the dumbest thing to me. Just be man. Stop talking about hair plugs or transplants. Shave that shit or wear a hat 24/7. You're a man, act like it.
Jason Statham went bald and owned it. Look at how well he's doing. If he was single he could probably smash Sydney Watson (assuming she didn't sue him for some dumb bullshit). Hell, he could probably smash Sydney Sweeney. Jason also wouldn't get enormously obese, drunk all the time, and piss in his basement corner.

Jeremy should try being more like Jason Statham. This is of course impossible because Jeremy will never not be a fat, lying fuck that nobody likes.
 
I kind of thought the same thing but he's alienated so much of his audience over the past year with changing the entire content of his channel and shamelessly begging and constantly scamming them that he's turned a lot off a lot of the consistent viewers and seems to be having trouble replacing them.

I really thought history would repeat itself and the Charlie Kirk situation would completely revive his channel as has happened many times in the past where suddenly some drama comes along that pulls normies into the sphere of his grift and his channel soars to new heights for the next 6 months until the next thing comes along. Instead what happened it his views spiked for 3 weeks and now he's back to being lower than he's ever been.

In honor of this feature I decided to make this graph of his monthly Youtube views over the life of his channel
I mean you are showing he does have a baseline of viewership in your graph. He does have a set amount of income he is always getting. Maybe the old shit doesn't get him much. But he is like a train with a steady chug chug of pay pigs watching his shit, followed by spikes.

Yes many have dropped off. But a surprising amount have stayed. I think his income is stable if nothing else
 
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Random old clips mostly poop related

Jeremy tells the story of how he drank a girl's boob milk at work and was surprised his wife was super pissed off at him. Melanie correctly guesses the woman was some girl that was referring to Jeremy as her "work husband" and the women point out why his wife was clearly pissed. Hannah suggests Jeremy try his wife's milk next time and the ever helpful Melanie pulls up the accidental insult only a child could muster "Yeah she can't make milk." SHE'S EGGLESS, SHE'S MILKLESS! Hannah clearly thinks this is gross and tells Quartering he should definitely feel shame over it.


Quartering follows this story up with saying he needed to try breast milk because he was a twin and needed to be bottle fed then Melanie decks him with a "You didn't eat your twin." It's fucking hilarious how she probably doesn't even understand how savage the shit that comes out her mouth is. Asking a 350 pound man if he ate his twin, hahhaha.



Jeremy needs to be treated like a child by his wife to get him to eat his vegetables. He admits she negotiates with him over how many veggies he can eat. He implies that she is willing to exchange sexual favors just so he will eat something healthy. Damn Jer your wife is so tired of you being fat she'll pull your dick out the fat fold just to get you to eat a carrot?



Poop talk time.
I dug around and found more old poop related discussion. Hopefully none of these are repeats but I may have lost track.

Jeremy gives a follower on a live call in his classic "hot tip" about taking Immodium before he leaves the house so his fat ass won't shit himself while he's out. Jeremy is so far gone he doesn't realize normal people don't have to worry about shitting their pants every time they leave the house. This is seriously what? the 10th clip of him telling someone this like he just discovered magic.


Jeremy talks about his worst nightmare. He had to poop on a plane on his trip to Hawaii. Luckily the bathroom was big otherwise he would have had to hit a bank shot off the wall into the bowl, his words. He then tells the girls how he constantly had to switch between taking Immodium and stool softener just to manage his BMs the entire vacation while Hannah looks disgusted and opens the calculator app on her phone to make sure this money is still worth it. YIKES.


Jeremy gives a long and impassioned pitch for a bidet to Melanie and says he misses his bidet more than his wife when he leaves town. He need a bidet because he takes "big fat guy poops." Yeah we know Jeremy you only shit diarrhea. Please stop you are scaring the hoes.


Jeremy takes a call in and they are ready to talk buttholes. Jeremy insists it is masculine to not want water jetting up your asshole and that a bidet actually sprays the area around to hole. The guy says nah there's a high pressure jet that sprays water directly up your asshole. Jeremy then admits he does in fact need a pressure washer up his fat ass to clear things out.


One of the key functions as a Quartering cohost is being able to cover for him in the case of an emergency diarrhea moment.
Whenever Jeremy jumps out of his chair without setting up the cohosts with something to talk about they assume he's running out of the room to shit his brains out.

In this clip he said he needed a V8 then ran off. Those hosts just yap about nothing for 5 minutes then when he comes back they joke he was taking a dump. Jeremy then goes on to talk about his watery poop problem and this time he blames it on drinking water with not enough minerals in it. Jeremy you are fucking obese my guy, it is not the water you are drinking or the cheese or the lettuce.


Jeremy is talking to Melanie and jumps out of his chair and off camera. Melanie's training immediately kicks in and she announces that shit will entertain the stream while Jeremy takes an emergency poop. Quartering comes back into frame and was actually just getting a Rambo action figure which he then proceeds to show to Melanie. Then they talk about how Melanie was scared Jeremy was running off to diarrhea his brains out.


Jeremy tells a gross story about when he was 5 and had parasitic worms in his poop and manages to gross out both Luke and Hannah.


NEW GRIFT SAME AS THE OLD GRIFT
Quartering's scam from earlier this year. He sold Trump related drink books to fund a new fantastic studio in a separate building in his back yard. Luke lets out a big yawn during the shill pitch. Of course it's not money for Jeremy it's all to fund the studio and that will make Maggie very happy. "This is what 100% of the money is going towards I'm not spending it on hookers and blow." His fans bought hundreds if not 1000 of these things and he raised a ton of money. The new studio never happened. After he got the money he decided building a new studio was too expensive and moved his shit to a spare room in his house instead, spent maybe $1000 on small upgrades and his new space is actually shittier than his old one. This was another scam that happened right before the brand new fish tank, RC track, and thousands of dollars in watches showed up. So where did that money go Jeremy? I think people really need to ask him that question.

BTW what ever happened to that coffee facial scrub he was "fundraising" to make back in Spring? Wonder what happened to that money?
But trust me guys he needs your money this time to pay the staff. He really really does.


I mean you are showing he does have a baseline of viewership in your graph. He does have a set amount of income he is always getting. Maybe the old shit doesn't get him much. But he is like a train with a steady chug chug of pay pigs watching his shit, followed by spikes.

Yes many have dropped off. But a surprising amount have stayed. I think his income is stable if nothing else
He had a solid baseline and now that looks to be about 30% lower than it was in the past. He had a steady stream of paypigs throwing money at him but now he struggles to get any support. There was a time when he had the kind of support where he could announce things like this sub drive and get 100 people to sign up over a weekend. I would bet money less than 10 people signed up this weekend for his member's bullshit.

The grift is on the decline and has more room to fall. A lot of Youtubers have a solid fan base until suddenly they don't. We'll see what happens but this time it's actually different.
 
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He had a solid baseline and now that looks to be about 30% lower than it was in the past. He had a steady stream of paypigs throwing money at him but now he struggles to get any support. There was a time when he had the kind of support where he could announce things like this sub drive and get 100 people to sign up over a weekend. I would bet money less than 10 people signed up this weekend for his member's bullshit.

The grift is on the decline and has more room to fall. A lot of Youtubers have a solid fan base until suddenly they don't. We'll see what happens but this time it's actually different
Well it just means you're finding the real baseline of hard-core fanboys that give him views. I'm not talking the other forms of income. I'm talking clicks that watch ads. It isn't big, but they are dedicated and consistently watch his slop and give him YT ad rev.

I think you are right it will drop lower, but it will need a push to push out the big dented whales.
 
They must have him on. It doesn't matter if he rolls over and tries to get on their viewers' good side. As long as they get to press his creepy ass about Hannah Claire, Melonie Mac, and other women he pays to listen to his diarrhea diaries, it'll be a glorious whipping. Ask him to explain his 30000 dead chatters, too.
 
Well it just means you're finding the real baseline of hard-core fanboys that give him views. I'm not talking the other forms of income. I'm talking clicks that watch ads. It isn't big, but they are dedicated and consistently watch his slop and give him YT ad rev.
Must be boomer cons. Who else would throw obscene amounts of their time and money at this lardball dullard?
 
Must be boomer cons. Who else would throw obscene amounts of their time and money at this lardball dullard?
It's the boomer form of loot boxes or Gacha games. Of course you watch the ads. What the fuck is adblock? These people use Google Chrome straight with no plugins. And yes they probably bought the coffee and the cookbooks. Gotta support small buisness!
 
Jeremy tells the story of how he drank a girl's boob milk at work
Is this guy serious? I don't follow Quartering at all so I only get the highlights, I really am struggling to figure it out at this point. Is he telling these stories to come across as more interesting and he's just so retarded that he doesn't understand how disconcerting they are to anyone who's even somewhat well-adjusted? Or is this a bit of some kind? He just spills more and more absurd stories about sharting all over a public restroom and drinking breast milk at the office?

I salute you clippers man, I can't stand sitting through this retards content but every week my disbelief at the info this guy will share publicly grows.
 
Trying not to go bald is the dumbest thing to me. Just be man. Stop talking about hair plugs or transplants. Shave that shit or wear a hat 24/7. You're a man, act like it.
Hambly isn’t just a man. He’s a 6 foot 5 autistic man whose entire early career success came from literally being the tall guy in the sales room. Normally, all our short guy cope is just seething, but trust me, if you’ve ever been the sales goblin to a 6 4+ partner, holy shit, you could sell hunger to an African child.

He’s big, he’s fat, he’s balding, the moment it all catches up to him he stops being the big quiet guy and starts being the ugly bastard. His knees start hurting. His heart starts pounding. He hits the wall. A short king, still jogging at age 50, passes him by, squeaking in manlet rage. “They’ll be no pity for you, you hear it? No pity!”
 
The fact that fat ass is going to such great lengths to lie about being build really highlights why it is so pointless even attempt to engage with people like him. If he can't even be honest about something as simple and noticeable as him going bald, he is obviously not going to be honest about anything else.
 
screaming about star wars or marvel or whatever tranny in pop culture media or videogame
I feel that's one of the few things that the Kino Casino hits the mark on. Personally, I'm tired of the culture war. I'm tired of dealing with terminally online individuals who want to infect everything I want to relax and enjoy. The only problem is, those people are going to get in my face, whether I like it or not, and try to change my hobby.

So in a weird way, we have to deal with it, and it will be dealt with; but there's some fatigue. Despite this, we're in a good position to help stomp this out once and for all I feel; luckily Ham boy will also go the way of the dinosaur once this current round of samsara-esque suffering is done.
 
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Is this guy serious? I don't follow Quartering at all so I only get the highlights, I really am struggling to figure it out at this point. Is he telling these stories to come across as more interesting and he's just so retarded that he doesn't understand how disconcerting they are to anyone who's even somewhat well-adjusted? Or is this a bit of some kind? He just spills more and more absurd stories about sharting all over a public restroom and drinking breast milk at the office?
It's been brought up here and there, but he has a really retarded understanding of "guy talk with the fellas" where he'll just autistically blurt what he thinks is locker room talk, completely oblivious to what an autist he looks like. "The Guys" talk about farts and irreverent sexual things, so I should try that. And then what comes out is this monsoon of retarded bullshit that would immediately get you goofed on if you actually said it in front of a group of men. He did the same thing when he kept making "Can't wait to fuck your daugher when she's legal!" jokes to Dankula not picking up that his buddy wasn't playing along with the bit. I'd be willing to bet money dude had very few "guy friends" in his youth, and the ones he has now are likely the wifes family members who are nice to him out of obligation.

And the breast milk thing was probably stolen from that Blizzard or whatever company that had a controversy over some employee doing it that he just thought enough time had passed where he could use it as his own. Again, too autistic to realize that it was a controversy in the first place due to how fucking bizarre it is for an adult to do such a thing.
 
Jeremy tells the story of how he drank a girl's boob milk at work
Since when did he work for Blizzard?

The whole post makes me wonder how anyone can stand being around this guy. All of his stories are vile.

Magic card guys are rich, until they try to liquidate their cards and find out their $1K+ cards are proxies. Sad!
I remember when Boogie tried to sell his cards to his local store and got offered way less than he expected. Most people who have a ton of money in collectibles don't realize how hard it is to sell that shit.
 
How did a fat retarded basement pisser become rich?
A marketing degree and being too boring to ban when all the other right wingers got banned on YT, giving him a monopoly. When everyone was slumming on Gab, Dlive, and Rumble, he was fully monetized on YouTube making slop
 
How did a fat retarded basement pisser become rich?
I'm pretty sure I've asked this repeatedly, but wasn't it eventually figured out the wife was the breadwinner? Jer Bear had a string of business ventures that couldn't possibly have been lucrative given how brief each one was prior to being a professional Culture Warrior, while the wife was constantly traveling presumably for work. I don't remember if the mystery was ever solved, but I had always just assumed he was more or less "stay at home dad" to dogs while she ran around making the majority of the income prior to his online big break.
 
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"Coffee brand coffee" is so fucking generic for a name, too. I can imagine myself watching a TV show and that would be the coffee they use because of trademark lmao. Like when you see somebody drinking a beer on TV and it's just a white can that says "beer" in block letters.
His two biggest mistakes were that he didn't focus on regular and decaf. He went the route of 50 different custom flavors.
His second mistake was he obviously appeals to right-wing people, he should have made the coffee for them, but his dumb ass didn't commit. That probably really fucked him after the 2024 election proved we were the definitive majority.
The “generic” look was huge a long time ago in like the 80s there’d be beer and other stuff that would just say “Beer” or “Beans”, etc. with grey labels. Hamplanet was 100% trying to pander to Gen X and failed miserably.
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Magic card guys are rich, until they try to liquidate their cards and find out their $1K+ cards are proxies. Sad!
I work at a boarding school and got into MTG as a way to kill time with the students. During Covid I moved into 300 a month faculty housing and was getting hazard pay so I was flush with cash and ended up getting way too into it and spent like 15k-20k on Magic over a few years. I do actually look at my multiple decks that are over a thousand dollars as potential emergency funds. Especially when MTG is turning into Fortnite the card game and I have to run Spider Man, Avatar, and TMNT cards to have optimized decks now so I'm kind of getting sick of it
 
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