History Subforum?

The Roman Emperor Elagabalus was a real life anime trap (Became Emperor at 14 and spent all his time looking more and more feminine. There was no hair other than his head. And died at the good age of 18 so he was a beautiful femboy all his life) who was pretty much a Slaanesh worshipper.

Chariots being pulled by naked ponygirls.
He put him being driven by naked ponygirls on Official Roman Money
Was a total and complete slut in everyway imaginable, fucked almost every man in Rome.
Fucked Vestial Virgins, you know the girls that were killed if they lost their virginity.
Crushed his friends to death with rose petals and having swarms of tamed leopards and lions wake them from naps so give them heart attacks.
He also had wild lions hiding in the Roman Palace and would if someone opened the wrong door trying to find him in Hide and Seek they were eaten by lions.
Made people eat live parrots.
Would put live spiders in people's pastries along with dung.
Would leave the guts of children (that he Extreme BDSM Tortured and then Sacrificed) all over the Roman Palace so that people would step in kid guts.
Would poke people with a red hot poker and then peel their skin off like you would open a present.
Would put poisonous snakes all over the palace when guests came over.
Was into Daddies and had a Daddy who would go looking for him after he would run away from the palace at night like a naughty little boy and would have his Daddy beat him and after beating him gave him cummies.
Was Transgender and tried to get doctors in Rome figure out how to make a fake vagina.
Worshipped what was pretty much the Black Stone of Kabba. Was Mudslime before Muhammad existed.
Gave his friends food made out of Marble to eat while he had the real food.
Invited the Whoopee Cushion to mess with his friends.
And just in general liked being the greatest prankmaster that ever lived.
I've heard that he was into wearing lioncloths and messing them up. So he was into all the AB/DL


There's tons more about him.

It's only fitting that the Japanese made some stuff about him.
1405459818443.jpg



He's my favorite Roman Emperor.
 
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Which the practice of it is where we get the word "damnation." Essentially, the Romans tried to completely blacklist the offending party for crimes against the state and being a shitty human while doing so.
so essentially he was doing the "unperson" shit before modern day troons started doing it. and modern day troons are just carrying on a time honored roman tradition.
 
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The Roman Emperor Elagabalus was a real life anime trap (Became Emperor at 14 and spent all his time looking more and more feminine. There was no hair other than his head. And died at the good age of 18 so he was a beautiful femboy all his life) who was pretty much a Slaanesh worshipper.

Chariots being pulled by naked ponygirls.
He put him being driven by naked ponygirls on Official Roman Money
Was a total and complete slut in everyway imaginable, fucked almost every man in Rome.
Fucked Vestial Virgins, you know the girls that were killed if they lost their virginity.
Crushed his friends to death with rose petals and having swarms of tamed leopards and lions wake them from naps so give them heart attacks.
He also had wild lions hiding in the Roman Palace and would if someone opened the wrong door trying to find him in Hide and Seek they were eaten by lions.
Made people eat live parrots.
Would put live spiders in people's pastries along with dung.
Would leave the guts of children (that he Extreme BDSM Tortured and then Sacrificed) all over the Roman Palace so that people would step in kid guts.
Would poke people with a red hot poker and then peel their skin off like you would open a present.
Would put poisonous snakes all over the palace when guests came over.
Was into Daddies and had a Daddy who would go looking for him after he would run away from the palace at night like a naughty little boy and would have his Daddy beat him and after beating him gave him cummies.
Was Transgender and tried to get doctors in Rome figure out how to make a fake vagina.
Worshipped what was pretty much the Black Stone of Kabba. Was Mudslime before Muhammad existed.
Gave his friends food made out of Marble to eat while he had the real food.
Invited the Whoopee Cushion to mess with his friends.
And just in general liked being the greatest prankmaster that ever lived.
I've heard that he was into wearing lioncloths and messing them up. So he was into all the AB/DL


There's tons more about him.

It's only fitting that the Japanese made some stuff about him.
1405459818443.jpg



He's my favorite Roman Emperor.

You can't just have @Jon-Kacho as your favorite Roman Emperor. He's still around, it's distasteful.
 
Inbred Greek genetic will do that to a woman
070215-cleopatra_big.jpg

On the subject of acient Egypt, because of the heat and lice Egyptians would remove all body hair. They had ornate wigs, and the richer Egyptians at parties would have a cone of soft scented wax on the top of their wig. The wax would slowly melt throughout the evening, which released the perfume.

Also woman gave birth crouched on tiles engraved with the image of the goddess of childbirth. That goddess was an angry pregnant hippo.
 
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History eh? Might as well describe the Mercenary War that Carthage fought pretty much immediately after the 1st Punic War.

So if you don't know the 1st Punic War, let me sum it simply. Carthage and Rome both had interests in Sicily and would get into a war because some stupid fucking mercenaries and pirates decided to ask both powers to intervene in their affairs at the same time. Rome got its ass kicked on the ocean and Carthage was fighting a slow grinding loss on land for like twenty years. Then Rome finally realized how to build a navy that did not suck cock and actually won a few naval engagements, which caused the Senate and Suffets that lead Carthage to tard panic due to their loss in naval dominance, even though they honestly were still doing fairly well in Sicily and actually bled Rome near dry by the end.

They ask Rome for a treaty, and Rome naturally told them to fuck off of Sicily and to give them Corsica, as well as a metric fuckton of gold. This, combined with the fact that Carthage's trade was completely fucked by this long war, left them near penniless. When their army, which was mainly comprised of mercenaries since the last time Carthage fielded citizen soldiers they were slaughtered like pigs, came back they obviously expected to be paid. Carthage told them that they did not have the money to do so and they should probably go home. The mercenaries response was to sack Tunis.

The Senate by that point took the hint and promised to give them what they wanted, but by then the Mercs just thought they could take whatever they wanted, and so they thugged out in Tunisia, working with several Libyan cities who were sick of Carthage's shit. After panicking for a bit, the Carthaginians were able to redirect their remaining mercenaries, actually brought on citizens for the task, and put them under the revolting merc's former General Hamilcar. He was able to use a mixture of smarts and talent to basically slaughter them all mercilessly. Not joking either; no quarter was given on either side after the Mercs decided to execute all of their prisoners first. During this kerfuffle, Rome would sneak in and take Sardinia.

The aftermath of this shitshow would really cripple Carthage's trade. It would also cap off the bad feelings Hamilcar felt for the Suffets and Senate since he had to slaughter his own men after the stupid fucks who also lost him the war decided to appoint him to do so. He would then demand that his young son Hannibal to swear a blood oath to never be a friend to Rome, which would lead to this:
hannibal-crossingalps.jpg

Which led to this:
10-facts-battle-of-cannae_10.jpg

But then led to this:
https://sneed-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/31/23/5a/31235a8d59d5eed195b72c62aaa94a7f.jpg
 
traditional chinese medicine has a long and rich history dating all the way back to the time chairman mao fabricated it to make his miserable 2nd world cesspit look competent and even he didn't trust it because he knew it was bullshit :story:
 
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