Ubisoft Sellout - Bankruptcy Speedrun Any% Thread

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whatever I feel like said:
I remember when he fought off the Vivendi takeover of Ubisoft but couldn't keep them out of Gameloft, his mobile gaming side-business. Everyone cheered. Now Gameloft is worth like five times more than Ubisoft so who ran their business better?
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Eh... the market cap for gameloft is 686 million, ubisoft's is 805. Of course ubisoft has been on the verge of falling apart for years, has only stuck around due to massive cash flow from tencent, and is still on the verge of becoming a penny stock. But yes even though gameloft just mostly makes licensed slop for mobile, they're still clearly a better run company.
 
p1138 said:
Eh... the market cap for gameloft is 686 million, ubisoft's is 805. Of course ubisoft has been on the verge of falling apart for years, has only stuck around due to massive cash flow from tencent, and is still on the verge of becoming a penny stock. But yes even though gameloft just mostly makes licensed slop for mobile, they're still clearly a better run company.
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Maybe they got hit recently, I unno.
 
What a day. What a lovely day!

Incidentally, does anyone know how the original SoT available on Steam runs?
 
Imagine being a company that figures out and perfects the open world paint-by-numbers-tower-discovery genre and can shit out games at a rate similar to COD. Imagine destroying your company because you actually drank the diversity koolaid you were supposed to pretend to drink to get DEI investments. Imagine destroying your most successful series to put in a druggy that died of an OD at the other side of the world. Imagine resisting your stock holders demanding you stop being retarded and make them some goddamn money, only to end up with a deal so bad even the devil himself would feel dirty offering it. Imagine watching all other side projects fall apart as the infinite pajeets fail at basic tasks as they keep lying everything is going well and they deliver soon. Imagine being ubisoft.

nigger breathes.png
 
Shame Watch Dogs is now confirmed dead as an IP.

The bones of something really cool are there but they killed it trying to make very cringe and gay ANTIFA simulators that no one wanted.
 
Waffle Iron said:
Imagine destroying your company because you actually drank the diversity koolaid
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I will never not find it endlessly hilarious that Ubisoft could have avoided financial failure by simply having a Japanese male protagonist in feudal Japan, but bevause they love and worship niggers as the chosen golems, we got Yasuke and everyone INSTANTLY swore off the game.
 
Deus Exica said:
I will never not find it endlessly hilarious that Ubisoft could have avoided financial failure by simply having a Japanese male protagonist in feudal Japan, but bevause they love and worship niggers as the chosen golems, we got Yasuke and everyone INSTANTLY swore off the game.
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It's not just that he's black, it's that he's a samurai in a game that's supposed to be about assassins. Putting yosuke in required them to rework a lot of things, since they suddenly need to allow players to play through the game as a guy that cant climb buildings. It required them to rewrite things, it was a lot of work for something nobody wanted. AAA games are very complex and a lot of people have to coordinate. You want to have everything on lock early so everyone knows what the final product will be, and what their part of it is. Adding in anything should be done sparingly as it requires you to tell hundreds of people things are changing and that they have new marching orders.
Delaying a game for 2 years only to make it less fun is just peak retardation. I can't wrap my head around how anyone thought floyd was so important youre willing to derail such a massive project. It's one thing if you tell a small team to make a "nigger samurai slaughtering nips" DLC or side game, but the main game? Utter lunacy. They could show him once in a quest, then let the DLC team cook up a yasuke DLC, just to keep the development pipeline intact. Or they could've made their male assassin a black dude, toss in some cutscene explaining why a black dude is in japan, and then just keep the rest of the game the same.
 
Deus Exica said:
I will never not find it endlessly hilarious that Ubisoft could have avoided financial failure by simply having a Japanese male protagonist in feudal Japan, but bevause they love and worship niggers as the chosen golems, we got Yasuke and everyone INSTANTLY swore off the game.
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Early design documents show that the original protagonist of Shadows was Hattori Hanzo but then Saint Floyd of Insufficient Breef did his thing and the rest was history.
 
Deus Exica said:
When your dev team is packed full of HR ladies and migrants, of course they are going to prioritize a political statement over making a sensible product.
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HR ladies and migrants shouldn't be anywhere close to that kind of decisionmaking ability.
 
Waffle Iron said:
HR ladies and migrants shouldn't be anywhere close to that kind of decisionmaking ability.
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They get there by slowly metooing or pushing out anyone else. Ubisoft had ONE guy in higher up position for years who held the line against total woke saturation, he was directly cited by the devs as the reason Odyssey included a gender select protagonist and Origins was forced to pivot to Bayek as the male lead rather than his stupid cunt bitch wife.

He left for whatever reason, and as soon as the barrier was gone the devs, who had been crying for years about being forced to include mass appeal protagonists took the "break in case of emergency!" Setting and threw a nigger and a bogfaced Southeast Asian at the audience.
 
Waffle Iron said:
It's not just that he's black, it's that he's a samurai in a game that's supposed to be about assassins. Putting yosuke in required them to rework a lot of things, since they suddenly need to allow players to play through the game as a guy that cant climb buildings. It required them to rewrite things, it was a lot of work for something nobody wanted. AAA games are very complex and a lot of people have to coordinate. You want to have everything on lock early so everyone knows what the final product will be, and what their part of it is. Adding in anything should be done sparingly as it requires you to tell hundreds of people things are changing and that they have new marching orders.
Delaying a game for 2 years only to make it less fun is just peak retardation. I can't wrap my head around how anyone thought floyd was so important youre willing to derail such a massive project. It's one thing if you tell a small team to make a "nigger samurai slaughtering nips" DLC or side game, but the main game? Utter lunacy. They could show him once in a quest, then let the DLC team cook up a yasuke DLC, just to keep the development pipeline intact. Or they could've made their male assassin a black dude, toss in some cutscene explaining why a black dude is in japan, and then just keep the rest of the game the same.
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They could have put him in the game as an NPC, hell, make him a quest giver and no one would have batted an eye. It would have been mediocre wokeslop like Karl Marx in Syndicate but it would have been fine. Instead they just had to flip the formula and make the """historical""" figure the protagonist and sink their whole company over it.

Petty criminal attempts to pass a counterfeit $20>>>>massive game company gets broken up for parts.
 
Hugbox Kommissar said:
They could have put him in the game as an NPC, hell, make him a quest giver and no one would have batted an eye. It would have been mediocre wokeslop like Karl Marx in Syndicate but it would have been fine. Instead they just had to flip the formula and make the """historical""" figure the protagonist and sink their whole company over it.

Petty criminal attempts to pass a counterfeit $20>>>>massive game company gets broken up for parts.
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Lets be realistic here, Yasuke didn't sink the company, it was just one more fuck up after a series of fuckups.
2 NFT based games
Skull and Bones
Star Wars Outlaws
XDefiant
Avatar
Immortals
Watch Dogs Legion
AC Valhalla
Ghost Recon Breakpoint and Division 2 were dumpster fires at launch
Far Cry with political shit but not enough politics for game journos
AC Odyseey

AC Valhalla and Odyseey sold well so fine, you could say their most recent success was Valhalla released in 2020, and everything else in that 5 year span was a flop. To say that Yasuke sunk the company implies they weren't already completely fucked to begin with.
 
p1138 said:
Lets be realistic here, Yasuke didn't sink the company, it was just one more fuck up after a series of fuckups.
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Don't forget Beyond Good and Evil 2 being in development hell for God knows how long. Or Rainbow Six Siege X being a disaster of a relaunch and their servers being compromised.

p1138 said:
Far Cry with political shit but not enough politics for game journos
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I think that started with Assassin's Creed: Unity not allowing playable female assassins in its co-op. I believe Watch Dogs received some flask for not going all-in on politics with its hacking espionage theming. THEN, it was Far Cry 5 where journalists bitched about how Eden's Gate was leaning into right-wing politics despite the apolitical intent of seizing an American town from separatism.
 
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