Tweet 7/9 - Kidney Stone

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Optimus Prime said:
I have to agree that whatever happened, it wasn't a kidney stone. Never had one myself (thankfully) but I've heard they are excruciatingly horrible.
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Could be a small stone. Also, Chris has a history of UTIs. Maybe he's used to that kind of pain by now.

Mason Verger said:
Cmon, Chris didn't pass a fucking kidney stone. He fucking lied about cooking hamburger on white bread.

Actually, what IS up with all his bullshitting lately?
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I don't think he lied about cooking the burger. He just posted an example pic of a Hot Hamburger Plate instead of taking his own, probably because he ate it before he realized he wanted to post about it. He has cooked before, stuff like Blue Apron meals or Thanksgiving dinner.
 
"Ugh yeah, I just passed some more stones, like my fathers old friend tony, really takes me back. But much better with feelings of Pain and Discomfort."

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Anyone can get kidney stones if all they eat is junk and everything they drink is sugar-based.

My guess is he's not drinking nearly enough water, and given his usual aversion to water it seems likely.
 
Cackman said:
Is he going to name it Crystal given this is closest he'll ever get to child birth?
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Speaking of birth, women who had kids and had kidney stone say that the stones were more painful.

Chris is about to be in for one of the worst pain possible if he doesn't stop pour coke down that sinkhole of a mouth.
 
Most kidney stones are tiny. Like, grains of sand tiny. "Passing a stone" doesn't neccessarily mean splitting your dick pipes with a ragged bullet-sized chunk of sediment. It's entirely possible he passed one and it was mildly unpleasant but now he's fine, and you people are just being your regular autistic selves by deciding there's incontrovertible proof he's lying based on shit you sort of remember hearing about one time.
 
The Lizard Queen said:
Anyone can get kidney stones if all they eat is junk and everything they drink is sugar-based.

My guess is he's not drinking nearly enough water, and given his usual aversion to water it seems likely.
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You mean like, water, from the commode? I never saw no one drink out of no commode before. - Chris

AnOminous said:
It's a mating display. He's trying to get Doopie to sit on his bent duck.
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Even as a True and Honest Lesbian Transwoman with a Female Soul, he can't help but promote the jerkmale attributes he'll always have.
 
Karen Riley said:
I don't know how kidney stones work but isn't Chris a little young to be having to deal with them? Regardless, it's funny to see Chris act like this is some sort of hilarious moment when in reality it's a scary sign about his declining health. I've never seen someone talk about getting kidney stones like it's such a fun and joyous experience.
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It could just be another attention-grabbing event where Chris lies about something for attention, yet again, or he could be telling the truth because of his poor health. I don't know, I would think that if Chris had a real kidney stone, he'd probably mistake it for a magical sonichu- stone that God and Magi-chan were sending through to release his menses through binaural beats. I am not joking about that, Chris is insane.
 
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Of the 4 main types and causes of Kidney stones, Chris exhibits like, 3.
  • Calcium stones. Most kidney stones are calcium stones, usually in the form of calcium oxalate. Oxalate is a naturally occurring substance found in food and is also made daily by your liver. Some fruits and vegetables, as well as nuts and chocolate, have high oxalate content.

    Dietary factors, high doses of vitamin D, intestinal bypass surgery and several metabolic disorders can increase the concentration of calcium or oxalate in urine.

    Calcium stones may also occur in the form of calcium phosphate. This type of stone is more common in metabolic conditions, such as renal tubular acidosis. It may also be associated with certain migraine headaches or with taking certain seizure medications, such as topiramate (Topamax).

  • Struvite stones. Struvite stones form in response to an infection, such as a urinary tract infection. These stones can grow quickly and become quite large, sometimes with few symptoms or little warning.
  • Uric acid stones. Uric acid stones can form in people who don't drink enough fluids or who lose too much fluid, those who eat a high-protein diet, and those who have gout. Certain genetic factors also may increase your risk of uric acid stones.
  • Cystine stones. These stones form in people with a hereditary disorder that causes the kidneys to excrete too much of certain amino acids (cystinuria).
 
He should have saved up urine, then when the stone is about to come out he could have shot barb with it (by pressing really hard)
Edit: He has to aim carefully since his duck is bent
 
Karen Riley said:
I don't know how kidney stones work but isn't Chris a little young to be having to deal with them? Regardless, it's funny to see Chris act like this is some sort of hilarious moment when in reality it's a scary sign about his declining health. I've never seen someone talk about getting kidney stones like it's such a fun and joyous experience.
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Age-wise he is OK. I had two kidney stones at a younger age than Chris is now. But (and it is a large but) the pain is truly unbearably intense and there is no way that Chris's mild discomfort matches a kidney stone. I have had serious sporting injuries and they did not get close to the scream inducing pain of a kidney stone.
 
Karen Riley said:
I don't know how kidney stones work but isn't Chris a little young to be having to deal with them? Regardless, it's funny to see Chris act like this is some sort of hilarious moment when in reality it's a scary sign about his declining health. I've never seen someone talk about getting kidney stones like it's such a fun and joyous experience.
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I've seen kidney stones happen to people of all ages. A man in his mid-30s can definitely suffer from them, especially with Chris's lifestyle. Typically it's indicative of frequent dehydration, which doesn't surprise me because as far as I know Chris mostly drinks soda and sweet tea. Kidney stones can be harmful but usually they're just painful. I don't think he's gonna die from this.
 
Isn't kidney pain around the upper part of the back within the rips? He might be goofing up his knowledge of human anatomy.
 
You guys are all underestimating Chris. Remember, this is the guy that cured his own autism, cured homosexuality, then reintroduced the gay virus into the gene pool. If anyone could shrug off a kidney stone like it's nothing, it's Chris.
 
Now we have the answer to "Is Chris Getting Better?"

The answer is no.
 
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