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With a (questionable) W from James Drake, how would you rate season 5 of Fishtank?

  • 1 Star — Absolute disaster. Unwatchable, boring, production fucked it up bad, the fish were lame

    Votes: 56 7.3%

  • 2 Stars — Pretty bad. Some funny moments, dragged, too many vibe repair days. Barely worth checking.

    Votes: 87 11.4%

  • 3 Stars — Average. Solid entertainment in spots, some good chaos and crashouts, but nothing special

    Votes: 169 22.1%

  • 4 Stars — Really good. Lots of hilarious moments, strong fish personalities, solid content and vibes

    Votes: 405 53.0%

  • 5 Stars — Peak Fishtank / Masterpiece. Non-stop insanity, legendary fish and production, pure chaos

    Votes: 47 6.2%
  • Total voters
    764
Aquafag said:
TJ-esque hero arc just aint happening for Landon.
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It already did.


I was thinking about more ways production could fuck with Alex and I came up with a couple S3-related gaslights:
1. Smaack (AI Smaack will suffice) calls out to Alex B over the intercom, only in the room he's in, and only when he's alone, telling him she's still inside the walls and he NEEDS to get her out. Everyone gaslights Alex into thinking he's just hearing things.
2. Fly in Binx just for a 30 second G-Man from Half-Life bit where Alex sees her standing somewhere he can't reach, they make eye contact, and then she disappears. With the right camera work this could be untold levels of kino.

This has turned into the Mind Rape Alex B show and I love it for now, but I hope they're done with it in time for the season finale at least.
 
Ngl Jet faking an overdose from Ozempic was kino. You guys were too mad about the nuke to realize how fucking funny that was.
 
Mörkö said:
View attachment 8794380
Jet and Alex talking about weight loss meds and arguing over who is and isn't fat like a couple of girls.

(Edit) After doing his shot, Jet pretended to pass out in the upstairs corridor. Alex and the boys rushed to his aid.
View attachment 8794417
Bashir: "There's only 2 people in the world I listen to. That's Jet and Ben."
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Some of the choice excerpts I caught: (Alex brought Bongo up to be the tiebreaker but she just paced around)
"'CHARLES DARWIN said you have to be strong. Are you strong, or are you weak?"
"I'm on ozempic"

Alex: "I won't let you take it!"
Bongo: "Me either!"
Jet: "Why not, Bongo?"
Bongo: "I want to try it"
Alex: "BITCH! You neither!"
Jet: "She could use to lose a couple pounds"

"if you don't let me have inject this, I'm kicking you out and the next elimination challenge is 'inject ozempic' "

Also a TTS interjected that started with "In the 1999 Real Time Strategy Game Age of Empire 2[...]" and when AoE2 was mentioned all three paused for a second.

The whole thing was Jet forcing a loop of
"Ozempic will kill you" -> "I just want to game/eat and be skinny" -> "Just workout" -> "Cuts into my gaming/eating time " -> "But you'll die" -> "But I'm your boss"
Near the end he made Alex stand across the room and started injecting it as slowly as possible until Alex couldn't help himself and tried stopping him again, then he just had Drake block the confessional door while he injected himself right in front of the camera.
 
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Meiwaku said:
Ngl Jet faking an overdose from Ozempic was kino. You guys were too mad about the nuke to realize how fucking funny that was.
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Absolute peak late night content.
him having just one sock on the whole time was just so peak junkie.
He is such an expert on this thing he thought Jet was having signs of River Phoenixing.
 
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For reference on the big 3AM shakeup, Jet came up to Alex's room and ordered him to do it.
His only pushback was he wanted Jet to take Bingo and Bongo out of the room first so they could sleep but Jet said his monkey proteges had to "learn how to monkey around".

A minute into the wakeup he went over to the twins to apologize.


Then a few minutes later Ben came in and made them help the Monkey King, screaming in Bingo's face to make sure she got up, which made Bingo break down.


After production threw all the mattresses around and made everybody leave twins go over to the dining room to chill. Alex came over to pep up bingo but as soon as he saw how hard she was crying he begs her to go back to bed because her sister has her back for the night. It was very sweet.
 
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Aquafag said:
TJ-esque hero arc just aint happening for Landon. Production can't force it. He ain't top 3.
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Sam tried to drag TJ to that hero arc and it didn't work, similarly Ben is telling Landon when to go start or do stuff and it won't work. Let the more organic fish or TTS handle it imo
 
CH4TT3R said:
Fuck man, YT nuked that instantly. Did anyone back it up? Missed day 18
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1775135440167.png
I'll update the post when the recap gets reuploaded
 
Unwired Clutter said:
For reference on the big 3AM shakeup, Jet came up to Alex's room and ordered him to do it.
His only pushback was he wanted Jet to take Bingo and Bongo out of the room first so they could sleep but Jet said his monkey proteges had to "learn how to monkey around".
View attachment 8794777
A minute into the wakeup he went over to the twins to apologize.

View attachment 8794781
Then a few minutes later Ben came in and made them help the Monkey King, screaming in Bingo's face to make sure she got up, which made Bingo break down.

After production threw all the mattresses around and made everybody leave Alex brought them both over to the dining room for shots, and Bingo had trouble flipping the chair emma flipped back over and started sobbing again, so Alex gently told her he only needed one monkey helper for tonight and she could go back to bed because her sister has her back (I don't have this clip but I'll get it tonight). It was very sweet.
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Alex has never been a bad dude, he's just an ADHD freak on drugs with millennial mush-brain. Landon unironically has more control over his own life than Alex ever has.
 
Anissa's precious bodily fluids could not be unleashed. Nuclear disarmament was the only option to avoid madness.

On one hand, Landon would've passed a major "how far will you go to win this show" test if he did it. On the other hand, it's extremely vile and would piss off the entire house if he did to it, possibly even facing an arms race of sorts, facing nuclear retaliation. The only satisfied customer would have been the audience, who don't have to deal with the pee pee poo poo tank.
 
Jerk Sausage said:
On the other hand, it's extremely vile and would piss off the entire house if he did to it, possibly even facing an arms race of sorts, facing nuclear retaliation. The only satisfied customer would have been the audience, who don't have to deal with the pee pee poo poo tank.
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Yeah, you don’t want to start a shit flinging contest with a monkey person. Landon made the right choice.
 
Decapitated Nigger Baby said:
>Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah he didn't do what we wanted him to do let's go after him!
This show has the most hinged audience ever seen.
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The guy called Decapitated Nigger Baby is moral fagging again?

A large part of the show is just people getting fucked with. If you do something gay, you get shit on; if you are nontent, you get shit on; if you are insufferable, you get shit on. Go watch something else. If the unhinged fans of the unhinged show are getting to you this much.

You are saying this in the fishtank thread on KiwiFarms of all places, most of the threads on here are just filled with people doxing lolcows and giving them shit. Why did you even make an account here if you are gonna moan anytime someone gets bullied? Or when someone posts a dox on a fish, don't get it, dude.

starting to think you are just trolling at this point ngl.
 
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