Star Trek - Space: The Final Frontier

[Van Darkholme]

I just need to vent a sec. Anyone else really pissed about Trek coming to Magic the Gathering in December?

Finally: the Star Trek x 40k crossover we didn't need nor wanted.

I really hate what magic has become: pop culture bukkake in card form.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Finally: the Star Trek x 40k crossover we didn't need nor wanted.

I really hate what magic has become: pop culture bukkake in card form.

I feel bad for you, but I do enjoy watching MTG descend into gay nigger status because all the kids who played it in my high school were fucking douchebags.

 

[Flexo]

I feel bad for you, but I do enjoy watching MTG descend into gay nigger status because all the kids who played it in my high school were fucking douchebags.

And now you know why we were such based Trek CCG enjoyers and am still a bit bitter at MTG doing this.

One might even say the TCG wars back then were my own personal Vietnam...

(Note: that is a moviebob reference. I do not actually think a bunch of high school kids playing with cardboard are like a war.)

 

[Gimmick Account]

I really hate what magic has become: pop culture bukkake in card form.

I hate MTG in general because I've never played a single game that didn't end with me wanting to punch a nerd.
But I remember doing this kinda thing with nomic cards back in college like 20 years ago, deliberately dumb shit like Robocop vs Terminator vs Johnny 5: the Card Game or whatever and they'd typically evolve into pretty rad and unique games (the way it works is you start with decks of blank cards and no rules, and your turn can be either fucking with the rules/making a new card or playing according to the current rules, so it eventually settles into a stable/balanced ruleset because you don't want to own yourself in the future by being cheesy). I still have one of the sets that turned out particularly fun.

But that was buddies just trying to make a cool way to pass time, not some corpos fucks cynically seeking quarterly profits by slapping Ninja Turtles into their game about wizards at the expense of sabotaging their own players in the future when they inevitably lose the license.

 

[Captain Syrup]

To be fair, Toronto has a massive vampire presence and is protected by a vampire police detective. It makes it a little hard for the criminal element to muscle in.

No one else was crackheaded enough to make a real vampire detective series. Like an actual vampire cop who has to clock in at the precinct every night. He's got the fat angry lieutenant barking at him, some comic relief partner and he’s gotta stand there reading Miranda rights to perps while his fangs are poking out. And he only works the night shift because he’s “allergic to sunlight.”



If I were a millionaire I’d bring back Geraint Wyn Davies like they did with Trevor Slattery in Iron Man.



Catherine Disher looks like a zeppelin now but she's still acting.

Farscape's first season is a bit rough, but gets better in hindsight as the later seasons arcs work to justify and reframe the first season.

Crichton's arc especially highlights the drastic journey he takes from who his character was in season 1 (happy go lucky spaceman) and what he eventually becomes (won't spoil it) due to all the BS he goes through as the show goes on.

Its solidly in my top 3 sci-fi franchises and might even be my number 1 above DS9 and Babylon 5.

Season 1 has episodes even Voyager would pass on.



Season four is where it really turns into self parody though. the peacekeepers have guns trained on the hero and then he just moons them and walks away, like they're Walgreens security guards.



Ah, the psychic clam fart episode. Evey time this puppet farts the hot lady also farts! Nothing weird about that.



Chiana literally wants to bang 300-year-old ladies because her only character trait is being horny all the time.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

And now you know why we were such based Trek CCG enjoyers and am still a bit bitter at MTG doing this.

One might even say the TCG wars back then were my own personal Vietnam...

(Note: that is a moviebob reference. I do not actually think a bunch of high school kids playing with cardboard are like a war.)

I know this post is a joke, but the MTG players at my high school were not into Trek or really anything fun. They were sweaty assholes who took card games way too seriously and acted like playing MTG made them cool.

 

[OutInTheRain]

I feel bad for you, but I do enjoy watching MTG descend into gay nigger status because all the kids who played it in my high school were fucking douchebags.

It was the weirdest thing. MTG was massively nerdy, but everyone who played it was a giant unlikeable asshole.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

It was the weirdest thing. MTG was massively nerdy, but everyone who played it was a giant unlikeable asshole.

Or we went to the same high school.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

I mean it would almost have to be when you rip off Lord of the Rings.


My boi Cecil got you.

(and even more episodes if you want more)

Nobody forgot Out of this World.

 

[Flexo]

But I remember doing this kinda thing with nomic cards back in college like 20 years ago, deliberately dumb shit like Robocop vs Terminator vs Johnny 5: the Card Game

I can name like 3 games (dead or alive) that you could do this in now.

I know this post is a joke, but the MTG players at my high school were not into Trek or really anything fun. They were sweaty assholes who took card games way too seriously and acted like playing MTG made them cool.

Oh it wasn't entirely a joke. There was a group of us that played trek (and other stuff), and a group of them that played MTG. We would sometimes crossover (I'd borrow decks now and then and join in the multi-player brawls) and there was some childish ribbing and mocking.

Anyone not named moviebob would have grown out of it by now. But it is surprising to me how wrong it feels to see Trek come to MTG.

Like if you suddenly heard the bloods and crips were doing a collab album.

 

[Uncle Buck]

If I were a millionaire I’d bring back Geraint Wyn Davies like they did with Trevor Slattery in Iron Man.

Someone mentioned the RoboCop TV series [filmed in Toronto]. There was also a sort of compelling story-wise but awful effects having “Prime Directives” mini-series [also filmed in Toronto] that featured GWD as a crazed heavy. He was also in an episode of the Vancouver-based Highlander series.

 

[Michael Wade]

I consider myself a fucking walking depository of Trek shit and I have never subjected myself to a second of TekWar.

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Has anybody actually watched this thing? It sounds like a really stupid "Drug War" premise. So instead of fentanyl or coke or anything, people are getting addicted to virtual reality mind goo or something, “Tek.”

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And then, if I remember right, you’ve got this businessman (Shatner) fighting TekCrime, like he's in Charlie’s Angels.

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The main character is some guy named Jake. Jake. Of course it’s a Jake. Jake is not a real name. I am automatically suspicious of any character called Jake.

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He’s half-posed like a hero. Like it pains him to be seen holding this prop gun.

Holy shit this is a tv show? I thought it was just a shitty videogame! I gotta watch this immediately

 

[Uncle Buck]

The main character is some guy named Jake. Jake. Of course it’s a Jake. Jake is not a real name. I am automatically suspicious of any character called Jake.

I object to this on behalf of both Jake Styles and Jake Cage.

 

[Captain Syrup]

Holy shit this is a tv show? I thought it was just a shitty videogame! I gotta watch this immediately

I just watched that TekWar retrospective, the acting is not the worst in the world (Shatner aside). The problem is nobody can talk like a normal person for more than 2 seconds, every conversation is about “the Downtown Burbank Sentient Parking Meter Uprising”.

I have a soft spot for Canadians, it feels like they’re permanently stuck in cop shows or prairie dramas. I see you, Missy Peregrym.

 

[Curzon Dax-sama]

“the Downtown Burbank Sentient Parking Meter Uprising”

Excuse me, the what now?

 

[Michael Wade]

the acting is not the worst in the world (Shatner aside).

There is no such thing as bad Shatner acting

 

[Captain Syrup]

Excuse me, the what now?

Take a real example: they try to get across that politics is all theater in the future, so some woman greets the candidate with "ah I see you got shin cybernetic extension implants and cortical Iris coloring", like why do they have to talk in this weird jargon soup?

 

[Uncle Buck]

There is no such thing as bad Shatner acting

Are you, by chance, an aficionado of “The Agony Booth”? That is, as it existed before it became one of the first websites to be infected with terminal Trump Derangement Syndrome?

 

[Flexo]

Are you, by chance, an aficionado of “The Agony Booth”? That is, as it existed before it became one of the first websites to be infected with terminal Trump Derangement Syndrome?

I am.

I also worship Jabootu

 

[Curzon Dax-sama]

Take a real example: they try to get across that politics is all theater in the future, so some woman greets the candidate with "ah I see you got shin cybernetic extension implants and cortical Iris coloring", like why do they have to talk in this weird jargon soup?

Shatner seemingly likes absurd technobabble a lot. I don't blame him. I like technobabble too, but it should be delivered by sexy alien waifus.