Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[Big Miss Steak]

And I could tell you I've gone on a walk 8 million times and never had even a slight side eye, much less an incident. And?

Your anecdotal experience does not disprove the fact that it's perfectly reasonable to take precautions when walking alone as a woman. You don't have to live in a "war zone" to see weekly articles about women being attacked or killed while simply walking down the street. Don't carry if you don't want, idc. I've never had a stranger try to accost me while I've been out for a jog, personally. Doesn't mean it's a risk I'm willing to take. I've also never had food poisoning from raw cookie dough but I wouldn't call someone crazy for not eating it (that's a risk I do take tbh).

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

Female jogger raped in a residential area in broad daylight a few miles from my friend two weeks ago: https://www.cbsnews.com/sanfrancisc...ly-assaulted-near-stanford-university-campus/

Violent rampage involved a woman out walking her dog: https://www.kgns.tv/2026/04/16/home...king-dog-another-woman-killed-series-attacks/

A week and a half ago, woman walking her dog is stabbed to death, again in broad daylight: https://www.cbsnews.com/miami/news/...-walking-dog-martin-county-kersten-francilus/

I could go on

And all of the perps are niggers. A coincidence, surely.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

anecdotal experience

That was my point.

does not disprove the fact that it's perfectly reasonable to take precautions when walking alone as a woman.

A gun? Please.

 

[funwithshemales69]

Sounds like you've never dated anyone you find interesting on a personal level. If you're incapable of caring about what she talks about and vice versa, that's a pretty big sign you're incompatible.

Ive never dated anybody but I'm just not a good conversationalist in general, at least in traditional terms. Even when I talk with my mother, we generally get into an argument over who is right and we end up walking away. So I would really like to know what women generally talk about with their SOs on the phone, especially over long times, what keeps it going.

 

[w.a.m.s.]

Ive never dated anybody but I'm just not a good conversationalist in general, at least in traditional terms. Even when I talk with my mother, we generally get into an argument over who is right and we end up walking away. So I would really like to know what women generally talk about with their SOs on the phone, especially over long times, what keeps it going.

Fiance and I called a lot before we moved in together. A typical call included dates we hoped to go on, learning about what each others' lives were like before we met, our pets and their quirks, [series] we both enjoy that I can analyze to death and he likes listening to my theories, what's going on in [mutual social circle], historic events from one of the many [period]s that he's extremely knowledgeable about and I love listening to him tell me what it was like back then, flirting and general sweet-talking, and that one experiment in I think the USSR (??) where they were trying to graft primate heads onto different primate bodies and see if it worked like plants. We would go for hours. I think it is because we are curious about each other, have a zillion interests, and make a ton of observations we wind up talking about.

Also, I'm really sorry that you and your mother keep getting into arguments about who is right when you talk. That is exhausting. (Several of my family members do that too, up to and including in small talk, unless I bluntly redirect them to something we already agree on.) It genuinely sucks the fun out of talking to someone you are trying to keep a personal connection with.

 

[31 Black]

Can't relate. I'm the kind of person who would enjoy pulling the trigger on a sicko. That's probably part of why I've never gotten a gun. I don't mind the idea of killing a predator, but I'm concerned the judge wouldn't see it the way I do.

If you're concerned about self control, you'd be surprised how quickly carrying a side piece teaches you patience. I've carried for years and only ever came close to drawing on people once and drew once when I suspected a wild animal to be nearby in the mountains. Plus your concern about a vad judge will help ensure you ever draw it only when you absolutely must.

And I could tell you I've gone on a walk 8 million times and never had even a slight side eye, much less an incident. And?

Complacency is a killer. I have a relative who didn't understand why I kept a loaded gun in a pretty safe area, and need I bring up all the shootings in gun free zones?

Ive never dated anybody but I'm just not a good conversationalist in general, at least in traditional terms. Even when I talk with my mother, we generally get into an argument over who is right and we end up walking away. So I would really like to know what women generally talk about with their SOs on the phone, especially over long times, what keeps it going.

No offense, but it sounds like you need to improve your socializing skills in general.

I'm not usually one for phone calls, but I dated someone who I ended up on the phone with every day, and it felt organic and natural. We talked about all sorts of things, usually tossing in a quip here and there. The first time she came over and we weren't actively chatting actually made me worried she was upset, but she responded that she was perfectly content and enjoying my company. We would also watch shows and play games together, so conversations didn't need to happen all the time, but sometimes new topics would spring up during or after.

Then the next person I dated hated the phone more than me; our conversations after the "this is who I am, where I've been, and an amusing anecdote" phase dried up quickly as our interests were vastly different (also didn't help that she seemed offended that I didn't know the same mainstream culture that she did, but that's a different story for another time.) Our schedules rarely lined up, so it was also impossible to do more than just have a meal and "chat," so we rarely enjoyed each others' company.

Long story short, you don't necessarily need to have long conversations every day. You need to find what works for you and your partner while being able to enjoy each others' company.

Ladies, am I going to get in trouble for offering guidance in a thread for foid advice?

 

[Shakira Flabbergasted]

So I would really like to know what women generally talk about with their SOs on the phone, especially over long times, what keeps it going.

If you struggle to make conversation, giving you a list of examples of what my husband and I talk about won't help much. If I say "paleontology," but your hypothetical date doesn't give a shit about dinosaurs, you're still out of topics. The best practice if you have nothing to talk about is just to ask the other person questions about themselves, like what their hobbies are or what kind of media (books, movies, games, music) they like. Ideally, they should be questions you're actually interested in hearing the answers to, so don't ask about work if you don't care about what they do for work. If they don't suck at socializing, they'll return the favor, and you can eventually find common ground.

This won't be true for all women, but some will enjoy hearing you talk about stuff you're interested in even if they know very little about it. My husband can talk for ages about prehistory and I love listening to him because it's like a documentary. If they're engaged, you'll know because they'll ask specific questions about stuff you said, instead of interjecting with generic "wow" or "mmm-hmm" responses.

Long phone conversations also aren't a universal requirement to be in a relationship. They're nice if both people enjoy them, but if they feel more like choreography than simply enjoying someone's company, they may not be right for you.

Edit: I will say one thing is fairly universal, in response to "what keeps [long phone conversations] going," and it's somewhat paradoxical. Both people have to be comfortable with occasional silence, without feeling the need to disengage or fill the gap with small talk. Not talking sometimes does the job talking is supposed to do, which is making you feel more connected and present with each other.

 

[The Stranger]

Flight, fawn, or even freeze is more likely to get them out of that situation alive than choosing to 'fight' with a lethal weapon

I guess millions of years of evolution that rewarded appeasing and de-escalating doesn't go away even though Colt made (wo)men equal.

And I could tell you I've gone on a walk 8 million times and never had even a slight side eye, much less an incident. And?

Better to have and not need than to need and not have. And all it takes is one.

 

[ThePozzedOutCritic]

Can't relate. I'm the kind of person who would enjoy pulling the trigger on a sicko. That's probably part of why I've never gotten a gun. I don't mind the idea of killing a predator, but I'm concerned the judge wouldn't see it the way I do.

I think it should be to legal cut off home invaders' heads and stick em on spikes around your property as a warning. Ladies, is this a red flag?

 

[Gay Sex Enjoyer]

Beard or no beard, generally speaking

 

[_Delirium]

I think it should be to legal cut off home invaders' heads and stick em on spikes around your property as a warning. Ladies, is this a red flag?

Imagine the smell

 

[The Stranger]

Imagine the smell

Smells like...


(I hope this post makes Null angy)

 

[Otterly]

I take great pains to keep my opsec under control here, you never truly know who you'd be meeting

Yeah but you get a trophy for meeting a kiwi friend IRL!

Trying to date someone just like you is doomed to fail imo. Evolution drives us to find mates that have good qualities we lack so offspring can benefit.

I think you need some kind of basic framework in common rather than explicit interests. I’d actually prefer to have mainly separate interests tbh. But I do think you need some kind of core moral framework for want of a better word in common. Like a similar way of seeing the world. Everything else is better complimenting each other. It’s good to do things separately, you dont want to be in each others faces all the time, but it’s nice to comeback together and discuss things. Being able to talk for hours is really important to me. Not having my opinions or thoughts dismissed or belittled is important too.

I know no one can replace my mom or aunt or grandma, but is that part of my life just over? Maybe an older female grief counselor?

Perhaps you need to mother something? Have a mum hug from me, I am sorry.

 

[funwithshemales69]

Also, I'm really sorry that you and your mother keep getting into arguments about who is right when you talk. That is exhausting. (Several of my family members do that too, up to and including in small talk, unless I bluntly redirect them to something we already agree on.) It genuinely sucks the fun out of talking to someone you are trying to keep a personal connection with.

Its mostly my fault, my mother is a saint, stellar woman. I just have an argumentative personality (not in a bad way, more in a debate kind of way as I see it) and my mother takes it as a traditional argument (ie screaming match). She sorta hates how Ive turned out, the antisociality, the cynicism and the overanalytical brain and whenever I engage in any of these things, it reminds her of how Im supercharging her worse traits and she looks at me like Frankensteins monster. It almost always comes down to her status quo vs my anti status quo. Our latest argument couple days ago was about the "positives of Linkedin"

Spoiler: TMI

> She works in the Corporate World like I do
> She was looking at the linkedin profiles of her colleagues
> I told her that its a shit endeavor, theres gonna be obvious exaggeration, performativity and engagement baiting and that shes just stressing herself out
> She told me she doesnt care about all those, that the corporate world requires all those and has made linkedin a requirement of the job market
> I told her that thats gay and corporate should start evaluating people based on skills and not shit they put on linkedin
> She told me that I was naive and I was dooming myself to a stagnant/dead career by not using linkedin (I dont for the record)
> I told her that shes displaying bootlicking sheep behaviour (My bad, I kinda regret this in hindsight)
> She told me that Im acting stupid and revel in fighting the norm (kinda do) without gain
> Screaming match over whos right.
> Walk away and make up couple hours later.

 

[Otterly]

She sorta hates how Ive turned out, the antisociality, the cynicism and the overanalytical brain and whenever I engage in any of these things, it reminds her of how Im supercharging her worse traits and she looks at me like Frankensteins monster.

Look, let me reply to this from the perspective of a mother.
1. She does not hate how you’ve turned out. She worries that antisocialism, cynicism etc will harm you. She is right on this.
2. She is also right about LinkedIn. Yes it’s a corporate hellscape and you’re right about that, but she’s right in that this is the game that wider society sets and thus, if you’re not able to play it the surface level, you’ll lose out.
If she had even a modicum of humanity left after years in corporate land, which your post suggest she does, she knows all this. She knows it’s hollow, but she also knows how the game is played and she loves you and wants you to benefit from her knowledge.
Try this instead.
1. Go and apologise for yelling. Tell her you’re both right, LI is bullshit but it’s bullshit that is expected.
2. Show her some of those LinkedIn language memes, they’re funny. Explain you know she’s right but you find it hard to engage with this stuff.
3. Ask her advice on how to set up a profile if you need one. I’ve got one, and I can bear about five minutes of linked in before it makes my soul shrivel. I loathe it, I’ve still got a profile.


Let me give you one piece of advice, take it or don’t. Actually two.
Firstly, your mum loves you, and you only get one mum
Secondly, a LinkedIn profile is one of the small rules. The million small soul destroying ways you’re expected to live. When you apparently obey all the small rules, you can break all the big ones

 

[funwithshemales69]

Look, let me reply to this from the perspective of a mother.
1. She does not hate how you’ve turned out. She worries that antisocialism, cynicism etc will harm you. She is right on this.
2. She is also right about LinkedIn. Yes it’s a corporate hellscape and you’re right about that, but she’s right in that this is the game that wider society sets and thus, if you’re not able to play it the surface level, you’ll lose out.
If she had even a modicum of humanity left after years in corporate land, which your post suggest she does, she knows all this. She knows it’s hollow, but she also knows how the game is played and she loves you and wants you to benefit from her knowledge.
Try this instead.
1. Go and apologise for yelling. Tell her you’re both right, LI is bullshit but it’s bullshit that is expected.
2. Show her some of those LinkedIn language memes, they’re funny. Explain you know she’s right but you find it hard to engage with this stuff.
3. Ask her advice on how to set up a profile if you need one. I’ve got one, and I can bear about five minutes of linked in before it makes my soul shrivel. I loathe it, I’ve still got a profile.


Let me give you one piece of advice, take it or don’t. Actually two.
Firstly, your mum loves you, and you only get one mum
Secondly, a LinkedIn profile is one of the small rules. The million small soul destroying ways you’re expected to live. When you apparently obey all the small rules, you can break all the big ones

This is just a small argument, not something which we broke each other's hearts over with foul language, accusations and such. It's just a slice of something which happens regularly. And yes, in my heart of hearts, I know she is right, it is a swamp you have to wade into if you want to be successful. I'm just too much of a puritan when it comes to ethics, behaviours and such, no compromise when it comes to "corruption". Maybe it has something to do with being young. I love my mother, I think my familys the best, flaws and all. This is no indication that I hate them or anything, even if it looks that way. She's also struggling partly as her work is being taken over by claude, copilot and gpt with large swathes being cut off. So I understand where she's coming from. I'm just waiting for the corporate world to crash (which I am quite sure of) so I have a chance to start over instead of having to dedicate too much and wade into the swamp in the first place.

 

[Otterly]

I'm just too much of a puritan when it comes to ethics, behaviours and such, no compromise when it comes to "corruption".

I get it. But the reality is that this is the system we are in. It gets me down massively, but I’ve found that as long as the surface forms are obeyed, nobody looks deeper. I think it’s one reason why I loathe current year purity politics so much - they demand you actually subscribe to their insane opinions and lolno for that. My mind and my heart are my own.
I think what your mother is trying to say is that there’s a value in bring able to look like you can function within the system, while still keeping the core of you ‘clean’.
The world is very harsh on those of us who don’t play along. I’ve found that the times in my life I’ve faced massive pushback are not the times I have done something people don’t approve of, but when I’ve NOT done something that everyone insists must be done. Covid shots would be a good example, Covid compliance in general, but thinking back there have been other times like that.
That’s taught me some interesting lessons about compliance and my own morality, but it’s also taught me to pick my battles. LinkedIn is a nothing. I have a profile, i think it’s bullshit and it doesn’t affect me.
I would have gone to jail rather than take a Covid shot. There are things I care very deeply about and others I don’t expend energy on. I think maybe your mum is trying to tell you this too. Your energy is limited, pick your battles

 

[_Delirium]

I'm just too much of a puritan when it comes to ethics, behaviours and such, no compromise when it comes to "corruption". Maybe it has something to do with being young.

Once you hit 30 you'll start regretting not being a psychopathic corpo warrior.

What's morals when you can't start a family because you can't afford wife and children? I'm not telling you to start embezzling cash, but the sooner you get over your excessive puritanism, the better off you'll be in the future

 

[Chromeo]

If you're serious and intent on a real thing, stop messing with trivial people.

Guess I didn't think or know they were trivial.

 

[Shakira Flabbergasted]

Maybe it has something to do with being young

It does.

I'm just waiting for the corporate world to crash (which I am quite sure of) so I have a chance to start over instead of having to dedicate too much and wade into the swamp in the first place.

This probably won't happen in the way you're hoping it will. Learning to bullshit is a valuable skill, and it's also required on some level for social survival. If it isn't LinkedIn, it'll be something else. You're going to have to compromise eventually, so waiting is just delaying the inevitable. You can always remain a free thinker on the inside, while doing what's necessary to ensure a future for yourself that doesn't involve unnecessary hardship.