🍗 Deathfat Jude Valentin / Jude Torres / Judy Valentin / DivineBrujeria / MermaidRoyal / MermaidQueenJude / MerQueenJude - Cancelled Twitch Streaming Clout Chaser, Wannabe Photographer. Cancellation event starting on page 838

[Barbarella]

Yeah, I’ve never seen that creature and thought it was a dead stingray. Still, I was suspicious, a cow hallmark is mistreating animals. I didn’t know why she’d want to put a dead animal in the ocean where it’d just wash up again, but I also was more confused by the conversation.

“Your shoes are getting wet.”

“They don’t care.”

“Your shoes are so wet.”

“They don’t care.”

They? Shoes have pronouns? Feelings?

That crab thing is smarter than they are. The dead stingray would have been smarter. And more attractive. And smell better.

 

[The Queen of Autists]

Not sure what this vaguely pagan/Midsommar/witchy look has to do with Heated Rivalry, nor the awful makeup and outfit, but alright. we also learn that Michalea has a "gay hockey smut hyperfixation." lovely.

"catch me at the gig veiled and oracular THURSDAY! come see me spin at Sapphics in the Cottage for @sapphestnyc . you’re gonna get a sexy Heated Rivalry inspired set, courtesy of my gay hockey sm*t hyperfixation meet me at the cottage "

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She looks like such a sped in the yellow dj veil, a big fat sped boy getting his make a wish

 

[stupid frog]

They? Shoes have pronouns? Feelings?

You do realize she means Micheala right?

 

[Breadbear]

You do realize she means Micheala right?

Fuckin retard pronouns. But I guess her intelligence is about on par with her shoes

 

[PurpleEater]

lol:


Her back ~isn't healed enough to work her party but she's fine to be on vacation. Asking randoms on Instagram to fill in for you is professional as hell, too, Judy. Yeah, this business is definitely off to a GREAT start!

bonus DJ Jude and the kind of classy, highly curated aesthetic you can expect from her parties, Ace wrist bandage and all:


She's never looked more like a retarded toddler playing pretend. and love the giant takeout bag in the background, because of course.

 

[thejackal2]

It's fucking Tuesday and she's calling out of a gig on Friday? Talk about self sabotage. I really don't know how she lives like this, it is unfathomable. There are levels of sloth and laziness and lack of executive function here on the Farms that amaze daily -- but Jude is on another level for a 30 year old that had a fairly benign up bringing.

 

[SwiftBucks]

It's fucking Tuesday and she's calling out of a gig on Friday? Talk about self sabotage. I

With all the therapy talk and psych nonsense she's into you'd think she would try to figure out why she undermines every one of her endeavors.

Like with streaming, any time she got featured she would log off for a week. My armchair diagnosis: her overcompensating and boisterous attitude stems from a response to rejection. She quits anything before the stakes are high so she can't suffer rejection or failure, but she doesn't realize that she's doing it.

 

[PurpleEater]

With all the therapy talk and psych nonsense she's into you'd think she would try to figure out why she undermines every one of her endeavors.

Like with streaming, any time she got featured she would log off for a week. My armchair diagnosis: her overcompensating and boisterous attitude stems from a response to rejection. She quits anything before the stakes are high so she can't suffer rejection or failure, but she doesn't realize that she's doing it.

I'd agree with that, and I think she also just simply does not give a shit about anything she does. Jude is the kind of low effort scammer and grifter who wants to reap the biggest reward with the most minimal amount of effort, but unfortunately she's too stupid to figure out a good streamlined way to do that while still keeping up professional appearances. She's not only lazy, she's incredibly sloppy.

Mhic, as smug and retarded as she is, at least seems to have some kind of basic creative work ethic. Jude is just LARPing as having one because it makes her feel special and important and better-than.

Speaking of which, I bet Jude misses bossing people around and being the dictator of her "kingdom." It wouldn't surprise me if these two permanently outsourced labor by hiring some NEET assistant soon, if only so Jude can get off on treating them like shit while milking malingerer points for her various ailments and playing vidya.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Small Threads dump.

Trip stuff






Back issue stuff






At least she’s reading for once?



Jude did basic plumbing, please clap and call her a dude



Then pat her head and call her a baby, because am baby that needs softness and love (including a free MacBook Pro)

 

[thejackal2]

So her back is fine enough to sit in a car for 3 hours each way, pose for a photo with mic's family but not good enough to sit in a chair for editing. At least make the malingering sorta believable Jude.

 

[PurpleEater]

So her back is fine enough to sit in a car for 3 hours each way, pose for a photo with mic's family but not good enough to sit in a chair for editing. At least make the malingering sorta believable Jude.

Yeah she's a fucking idiot. I believe she has a pinched nerve and is in pain, her body is inflamed and carrying the weight of at least three people, but she picks and chooses when that pain is able to override fun times/things she actually enjoys and she's not slick about it.

lol @ "my job is sooooo physical" as if she's an athlete, nurse or construction worker on her feet for 12+ hours a day. at most Jude probably works for 1-3 hours at a time before taking a car home and bedrotting while snacking and playing vidya. I don't think I've ever heard a single photographer call their job "physical." Maybe a wildlife photographer...but what's Jude's doing??

I'd be terrified to see what came out of that drain or (how long it's been since it was last snaked)...horrors none of us could conceive of, I'm sure.

+

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

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Pardon me while I die a bit inside.

Dyke = lesbian. Woman who likes to have sexy-times with other women. She who avoids the peen. Typically the more tomboyish of the two in a stereotypical lesbian relationship, where one's a pretty pillow princess and the other's her gruff 'fuck all y'all' partner.

Not a single one of these absolute pudding-brains claims 'she' in her pronouns (because yes, every one of these dipshits is a female, your facial hair isn't fooling anyone when one simply has to look at those iddy biddy shoulders, teenie tiny hands, the nonexistant brow ridge with the sad attempt to mask said lack of brow ridge with wildly overdrawn brows, the skinny wee neck and that super soft jawline).

Can we kiwis all hold onto something and beg a higher power to pause the world's rotation for a brief nanosecond? That'd be long enough to fling these dipshits into the vast reaches of space.

 

[Crab Latte]

Pardon me while I die a bit inside.

Dyke = lesbian. Woman who likes to have sexy-times with other women. She who avoids the peen. Typically the more tomboyish of the two in a stereotypical lesbian relationship, where one's a pretty pillow princess and the other's her gruff 'fuck all y'all' partner.

Not a single one of these absolute pudding-brains claims 'she' in her pronouns (because yes, every one of these dipshits is a female, your facial hair isn't fooling anyone when one simply has to look at those iddy biddy shoulders, teenie tiny hands, the nonexistant brow ridge with the sad attempt to mask said lack of brow ridge with wildly overdrawn brows, the skinny wee neck and that super soft jawline).

So basically... it's a pooner camp

 

[Otterly]

. I don't think I've ever heard a single photographer call their job "physical." Maybe a wildlife photographer..

Gordon Buchanan gets to call his job physical, Jude, not so much,

Worth a watch, switch your vpn to a country it’ll play in

 

[PurpleEater]

Mhic's thoughts:

 

[Breadbear]

Mhic's thoughts:
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I mean... I guess, yeah?

 

[thejackal2]

I mean... I guess, yeah?

She's totally one of the spergs that takes some good shrooms and while everybody else is trying to just keep their shit together is asking "are you guys tripping, you see that, wow!".

 

[PurpleEater]

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Leave your cat out of your ineptitude.

 

[PurpleEater]

Leave your cat out of your ineptitude.

I just know those poor cats are severely under-exercised. Jude has a new Sapphic slumber party coming up for Pride Month and a photoshoot with someone who looks like a lolcow end of May, but she doesn't seem to be booking any work in the meantime. Too bad she gave up that party on Friday because of muh pinched nerve (though she was fine to go up to the coast).



Can't imagine what the doctor will tell her besides "lose weight and exercise" but I assume she's found a "fat friendly" doc who will placate her with bullshit and maybe some pain pills so she doesn't chimp out.

Also, why is her *client* outsourcing for hair and makeup? Isn't that one of the things her overpriced packages provides? I'm so confused. Why would a professional portrait photographer not have a roster of artists on standby?