DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

Is DSP taking Ozempic/GLP-1 to lose weight?

  • Yes

    Votes: 183 82.4%
  • No

    Votes: 39 17.6%

  • Total voters
    222
  • Poll closed .
That being said. Why the fuck would you stack up your weekend (you know, when you're going to get the most people on the platform because it's the weekend) with day streams of boring, shitty, turn-based games from 20 years ago instead of pushing the new, hype games as hard as you can?
Same reason he kills hype on good playthroughs by switching games on his night stream: he's lazy and retarded. How many games could he finish if he just played them for 2 or 3 days straight instead of over the course of a month?
His entire approach is dented.

Also found this in another thread, how many fit DSP:
8903718-b10c4693ccd205f517491d80dd8753ec.webp
8903719-e817a873790a8c34cca24435dbe29637.webp
 
Alright, I'll admit that I'm not a veteran content creator with an 18 year history on YouTube. My finger isn't on the pulse and none of my videos have recently "hit the algorithm" and had some faggot nobody drama streamer comment on them. I don't have 230,000 subs and some videos that literally get less than 1% of that in views, so take this with a grain of salt I'm definitely not an expert.

That being said. Why the fuck would you stack up your weekend (you know, when you're going to get the most people on the platform because it's the weekend) with day streams of boring, shitty, turn-based games from 20 years ago instead of pushing the new, hype games as hard as you can? Keep the prestream to 30 minutes and play 4 straight hours of Pragmata on Saturday and Mouse P.I. on Sunday, or 2 Pragmata streams. No one wants to watch the turn-based, no one wants to watch card games (which he doesn't understand but he should). But for the love of all that is holy... WHY ARE WE PLAYING DRAGON QUEST 7???? Even he knows that one doesn't do well, why the hell are we playing it during prime time??? How is he so bad at this? I know he's retarded but he's been making content almost two decades and doesn't understand even the most basic concepts!
the fact that he takes every saturday off for khet burnell is in itself insanity. Frankly khet should just get a different jahb that lets her stay off work on a day other than saturday so phil can actually use prime viewing time for his business, since phil brings in probably an order of magnitude more as an e-panhandler than khet makes part time retail
 
Same reason he kills hype on good playthroughs by switching games on his night stream: he's lazy and retarded. How many games could he finish if he just played them for 2 or 3 days straight instead of over the course of a month?
His entire approach is dented.

Also found this in another thread, how many fit DSP:
View attachment 8917462
View attachment 8917464

I've never seen that set of Tarot cards before.
 
the fact that he takes every saturday off for khet burnell is in itself insanity. Frankly khet should just get a different jahb that lets her stay off work on a day other than saturday so phil can actually use prime viewing time for his business, since phil brings in probably an order of magnitude more as an e-panhandler than khet makes part time retail
I don't think it really has anything to do with Khet's schedule, it's just the day Phil wants to take off. IIRC, the last we knew, Khet only worked three days a week as it is, and when it comes to day off activities, wasn't even spending that time with Phil. I imagine some of it has to do with Phil's LARP, since most people don't work on Saturday, or as a holdover from the Leanna days, when he actually did spend his day off with someone else.
 
Same reason he kills hype on good playthroughs by switching games on his night stream: he's lazy and retarded. How many games could he finish if he just played them for 2 or 3 days straight instead of over the course of a month?
His entire approach is dented.

Also found this in another thread, how many fit DSP:
View attachment 8917462
View attachment 8917464
yeah about four of those fit Piggy, married man*, demoralized married man*, homosexual alcoholic, woman hater, "body builder" and to a lesser extent religious homosexual.
 
I don't think it really has anything to do with Khet's schedule, it's just the day Phil wants to take off. IIRC, the last we knew, Khet only worked three days a week as it is, and when it comes to day off activities, wasn't even spending that time with Phil. I imagine some of it has to do with Phil's LARP, since most people don't work on Saturday, or as a holdover from the Leanna days, when he actually did spend his day off with someone else.
Yeah I think he just takes the day off to relax. Well, even more than usual, it's not like pigga has to take a rest from digging ditches all day, his entire life is just taking one long rest. Since piggy doesn't really do anything outside the house it really doesn't matter which day he picks as the day off. I remember a few years ago the day off would change almost weekly and about 5 years ago or so the designated day off was Tuesday.
 
I don't think it really has anything to do with Khet's schedule, it's just the day Phil wants to take off.
Agreed, but I don't think they speak other than to order DoorDash every day. He doesn't even think of her. People suggest Pokemon names with Cat in them and his wife doesn't even cross his mind.
 
inb4 we learn he cleaned out his storage office to fit a tanning bed into it
Only way we find out Phil got a tanning bed is when ambulances rush to his house because the dumbass turned that shit on to max power, realized he was supposed to put something over his eyes and then promptly cooked to death because his noodle arms weren't enough to push the top part away from him.
 
I don't think it really has anything to do with Khet's schedule, it's just the day Phil wants to take off. IIRC, the last we knew, Khet only worked three days a week as it is, and when it comes to day off activities, wasn't even spending that time with Phil. I imagine some of it has to do with Phil's LARP, since most people don't work on Saturday, or as a holdover from the Leanna days, when he actually did spend his day off with someone else.
She does work retail tbf, and a lot of retail gigs book their hours, especially for part time flex worker types on weekends for when people are going to be shopping. I could see it being some khet schedule thing.
 
True, and now that I think about it if he was secretly Jewish he would use that as a license to make shit tier Jew jokes till the cows (Kat) come home. As much as he might think he is he's not slick enough to conceal that from anyone for very long.
To be fair to Phil, he might actually be Jewish. In the iconic "Debunking" video, he argued that the Dead Space 1 Nazi routine was fine because he used to watch Howard Stern, who makes antisemitic jokes despite being Jewish. That leaves two possibilities:

a. By induction, the same standards apply to Phil because he is Jewish
b. Phil believes Howard Stern is in charge of the universal rules of comedy

Then again, he also made a similar argument defending his racist jokes, so maybe Phil is also black?
 
I fret sometimes about DSP’s trajectory. It is so hard to get attention nowadays on the Internet. People cut themselves and worse to get people to buy their meme coins, for instance, mostly without success.

Meanwhile Phil’s peculiar retardation attracts a broad swath of interest which seems to be growing slowly but perceptibly since LSF banned Hasanposting, the game journalist meme, and the Asmongold debacle.

Phil hates 99% of the attention he’s getting but if even a small amount translates into suhport he will continue to be sussessful. I want the pigroach scrambling.
He's grandfathered in. If he started today he wouldn't get three real viewers. A factor most people seem to ignore is that the internet is becoming Nerds Only again like in the late 90's and 00's. Mostly because of how shitty and innacessible everything's become due to rampant corporativization. Online normies are just on the niggercattle brainrot content machine. Tiktoks and Youtube Shorts and you tell them "Okay, what do you wanna do on the computer today" and all they can say is "Open such and such page, scroll for a bit, see what gets reccomended." The smartest normies can SOMEWHAT navigate enough to find porn or the occasional free flick, but having strong google-fu is becoming increasingly uncommon because of how streamlined and wheelchair accessible everything is. Average people legit can't even find old movies on Youtube, and there's TONS of them.

If you told me this is a psyop to erase people's free will and ability to make choices, at this point, I'd believe it. Thing is content creation is very much going that way. Shit needs to be slop, advertiser friendly, and short form. Long form content is dying off. Which is weird because this trend started with Vine, and Vine was amazing, you had to be funny in like six seconds. Really promoted creativity. Now shorts are just sloppa content, and most videos that get reccomended are just the most fucking milquetoast, fence sitting opinions you could possibly find online, followed up by "What do you think? I'll read you in the comments."

Of course this directly relates to Dead Internet Theory. Post COVID there's a lot less people online. Sure, more people casually engage with brainrot, but less people actually know how to use computers, or care to learn. Brainrot content is "Good enough". Normally, people go on the internet for SOMETHING. There's something they wanna learn, or something they wanna do. Companies love that nowadays, the internet is used in a completely purposeless way. You just go on, grind 2 hours away frying your dopamine receptors on brainrot, and come out, having done nothing, learned nothing, achieved nothing.


There's one generation that's mostly competent online. Boomers and Zoomers alike are cavemen, take them out of their cellphones with prebuilt auto playlists and they don't know how to use even streaming sites. It's a big part of why Netflix and Spotify can enshittify freely and see very minor losses. Asmongold bots himself to fuck. So do most big streamers. It's a whaling scheme. Phil himself is botted to the gills, dude has like 10 legit dents in chat, it's just masked by how ban happy he is and his 3 day follower only mode. It's one of the industry's biggest open secrets. 84% of Twitch users are streamers. The real audience are there to watch softcore titties baking in a tub. Luckily for them, the investors don't know or care. They are caveman-like boomers with deep pockets who only care about "Number go up".

I see people doing the most outrageous, bottom of the barrel shit, yet failing to get an audience. There's entire websites built on porn plus vidya, which sees 20ish girls baring it all daily while playing games, AND THEY GET NO AUDIENCE. Straight up tits on screen all day, 0 audience. Every single entertainment avenue online is so overcrowded, there's just no audience to go around. We're at a point where even porn, which used to be trade dignity for easy money, is no longer a lifehack, because other 10 thousand chicks are doing it as well, and it pays peanuts.

Hence, shortform content. Push the available audience around, while significantly cutting down on production time and costs, and multiply views and watch time. Genius business move. Vidya streaming is gonna completely fall by the wayside in the upcoming years. It is VERY longform content. Speedrunning might survive, and multiplayer games might too, but I don't think modern releases get any real views any more. Companies made sure of that by sending early copies to select streamers.


Ultimately I think Phil's around for the long haul, so long as he can sustain the Us Vs Them mentality. The point used to be watching a retard outrageously suck at videogames, but he's long since pivoted. Nowadays, he's a perpetual victim and as long as there is an ominous all-powerful yet distinctly weak and ill-minded collective out to hurt him, some dents will throw him their disability checks. He'll never be happy because he legit would like to be like Max Dood or Aris or whatever, but he doesn't have the charisma to pull it off, but I think he understands that it is better than working a 9 to 5. Shit, he says it frequently himself.

Thing is, he's not that much better off. I think he'd be a lot happier as Middle Manager Burnell. Fuck, he literally has Pizza Parties for his employees already. He hates having to debase himself to entertain retards. And one could very easily argue that he's below the retards he entertains, because of the nature of the interaction. It's not like he's a well respected, King Retard of sorts. He's a joke even amongst his own supporters. He's a court jester kept around to provide lols and vicarious victories over perceived bullies. As much as he says his real fans want to see him succeed, his chat pops when he's struggling, and I have this feeling that even dudes like Jayde or Derish watched him because he's about at their level gameplay-wise. Kekon certainly had to let him win when they fought. Bryan would fucking dismantle him. He's oh-so-fucking-lucky that modern EOMM is designed to make retards like him feel competent and stick around. He would have been swallowed whole in CoD or GTA lobbies in the late 2000s.

Even that one attempt at "Grill Phil" with PPP, I call him THE BETRAYER, saw him really befuddled that 'tractors legit just don't want to give him a red cent. He was talked into believing that we would bankroll his shit so he could keep doing it because he ultimately provides entertainment. I say it pretty frequently but he would much rather have us as a paying audience than the dents he's stuck with. He even quotes us when he needs to sound smart.

If he was really happy and grateful for his fans, he'd run community lobbies. Just saying. I've seen MUCH smaller channels that run community lobbies every week, and a big part of the appeal of seeing that stream is "Access to specific game on specific days." These communities are what keep 20+ year old games alive.

Not for Phil, though. He won't step on Fightcade, it's fulla tryhards dood. That's just no fun. For a former EVO champ. Who's entire streaming strategy hinges upon dunking on scrubs while the game's fresh and running the fuck away once competition gets steep.

Phil is kind of the chosen retard. The games industry has literally picked him as the "Joe Average gamer", which ensures it will keep attracting idiots like him, so he'll probably never run out of whales. Any guy with a brain could tell you that his khantent plan makes no fucking sense, but in a twistedly idiotic way, it's actually brilliant. Phil keeps coasting on AAA and keeps mindlessly consooming product, discarding it, then getting excited to consoom next product without ever being able to appreciate or add anything to the discussion... And in doing so attracts the same, exact type of brainless consoomer that would slip him a fiver to see a shitty animation on stream.

It is fucking crazy but the entertainment industry literally keeps warping itself to better suit Phil's needs and wants. And the dude still doesn't appreciate that. If I was him I'd be doing fucking cartwheels at how sauceless and moronic fighting games have become, or how CoD literally babies you into a 50% win ratio even if you're terrible.

But his narcissism makes him think that he could hack it with the best of the best in SF3, or in Tekken Tag/5. It truly is a double edged snort. And while he doesn't hate or blame himself for this, he loathes and seethes at the rest of the world for it. As sweet a deal as his position is, he absolutely despises it. He probably considers it a monkey's paw situation.
 
Last edited:
I have caught up to phil in fire red after 8 hours of playtime. I have done everything he has done, gotten every item and fought every trainer available. Until you play the game for yourself you cannot fully comprehend how slow he is.
But how much money did you manage to beg from people? How many guide bathroom breaks did you take? How long did you berate interact with chat?
Yeah I think he just takes the day off to read what everyone is saying about him relax.
I read between the lines.

Also.........what topic on TBS will he talk about today? I think he'll try to figure out a way to bring up the AMD steak cooker.
 
Only way we find out Phil got a tanning bed is when ambulances rush to his house because the dumbass turned that shit on to max power, realized he was supposed to put something over his eyes and then promptly cooked to death because his noodle arms weren't enough to push the top part away from him.
Now that would be a Final DENTstination-style death.

I read between the lines.
I mean there's a good reason why 5 years ago Tuesday was called "Read the Farms day" around here.
 

You almost have to admire how fucking retarded he is. "You see what I mean? I put out a video that's actually edited and not the sloppy seconds from my stream and it actually gets views!" No. Fucking. Shit. How does doing edited content betray your fans in any way? You're not making any money at all on the VODs, in fact last week we had multiple bored room meetings going over how low the views on those videos are.

But I fucking dare you to try and "blow up" with edited content. Please, PLEASE try it. He won't because he knows deep down he can't. Same reason he doesn't do drama. The problem isn't the editing, it's the content itself. If you're not there to laugh at what a retard he is then he is the most boring streamer on the platform.

Also "staple of gaming on YouTube" fucking lol. Lmao, even. You're a lolcow and a beggar, stay in your lane faggot. This delusional content is the only reason you have any viewers at all. One video that got 10k views after 18 years on the platform is pathetic.
 
I fret sometimes about DSP’s trajectory. It is so hard to get attention nowadays on the Internet. People cut themselves and worse to get people to buy their meme coins, for instance, mostly without success.

Meanwhile Phil’s peculiar retardation attracts a broad swath of interest which seems to be growing slowly but perceptibly since LSF banned Hasanposting, the game journalist meme, and the Asmongold debacle.

Phil hates 99% of the attention he’s getting but if even a small amount translates into suhport he will continue to be sussessful. I want the pigroach scrambling.
A rare intelligent Phil change has made is somewhat accepting being the lolcow for money. (He maintains this belief that he's another Keem/KC that's above it all and will profit of it, and his narcissism will never allow him to be the joke).

As much as I hate to say it, yet again Phil has lucked into getting money online for existing. This parasocial shit is rapidly growing. As you say, people giving up their entire lives for any online attention they can get. Phil is a great source of this from the lolcow level, failed streamer that sees they should be where Phil is, and the few special dents.
 
Back
Top Bottom