Containment Random Thoughts & Questions

Henry Bemis said:
This could probably go in any number of threads, but this is the picture that I see when anyone discusses whether there was any genuine love and affection in 14 Branchland:

Chris is around 10 or 11 years old, before he and Bob fled the county. He's got it in his head to ask his parents if they love him, probably thanks to some cartoon or old sitcom that ended on a warm and fuzzy note. He finds one of them downstairs on the phone. Maybe it's Bob, flipping through the phone book, trying to wrangle a lawyer whose time he hasn't totally wasted in entertaining some crazy civil suit. Maybe it's Barb, thumbing through old correspondence and address books, trying to round up old acquaintances out of the blue for whatever it is fiftysomething women do (pinochle?), only to find that none of them are available. Either way, Chris comes quietly into the room, where they're muttering and "mm-hmm"-ing into the phone. He drops it:

"(Mom/Dad), do you love me?"

"Mm-hmm."

Chris walks away, elated.
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That sounds entirely plausible. Though I think Borb also used it to control their little geinus tardling. It would probably have gone something like:

Borb: "Now Chrisshun, you know your mommy and daddy love you very much."

Fat Dummy: "Mmyeah."

Borb: "But you can't fly to Redmond to meet this Miyamoto feller just because you got an email on the interwebs."

Fat Dummy: "Buh...erm...uh...Sonichu..."

Borb: "AND besides, you know how dangerous it is to travel, what with all them darkies and hommasexuals out there."
 
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How difficult is it to obtain a driving license in Virginia? I've been trying to pass my driving test a couple of times now (in the UK) and it's a fairly tough prospect. I find it difficult to imagine that Chris could ever pass a practical test, let alone a written examination. Yet he's out there, driving Son-Chu. I've not found much information on driving tests in Virgina though...could an American help me out?
 
Naxra said:
How difficult is it to obtain a driving license in Virginia? I've been trying to pass my driving test a couple of times now (in the UK) and it's a fairly tough prospect. I find it difficult to imagine that Chris could ever pass a practical test, let alone a written examination. Yet he's out there, driving Son-Chu. I've not found much information on driving tests in Virgina though...could an American help me out?
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I'm not from Virginia, but it wasn't all that difficult in Oklahoma. I've heard that the UK is a bit more strict than the US. But I've never been to the UK, so...:?:
 
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The_Iconoclast said:
And yet when I mentioned having a number of kittens a few years ago, people got onto me for not having my cat spayed. Hypocritical much?

...I never had the heart to, is why. I think Miss Lana was at her happiest when she had a litter to take care of. Plus, they killed every mouse and household pest that came skulking around my little three acres of Heaven.

The distinction between an animation aficionado and a hardcore brony is akin to the difference between an oenophile and a fall-down drunk.

More of Tara Strong's work in Beetlejuice. I just love her valley girl accent.
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"People made fun of me on the internet. Holding a grudge over something this stupid makes perfect sense."

Can we just call you Chris 2?
 
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Naxra said:
How difficult is it to obtain a driving license in Virginia? I've been trying to pass my driving test a couple of times now (in the UK) and it's a fairly tough prospect. I find it difficult to imagine that Chris could ever pass a practical test, let alone a written examination. Yet he's out there, driving Son-Chu. I've not found much information on driving tests in Virgina though...could an American help me out?
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Driving tests are pretty much the same, state to state.

The evaluator does a pre-test inspection of your vehicle to make sure it's safe to drive (tail lights work, directionals work, no cracked windows, etc) and then asks you to locate several select parts of your car (emergency lights, defroster, windshield wipers, etc) and finally perform arm signals for left turn, right turn and slowing/stopping.

Once you've passed the pre-test, the evaluator will get into the vehicle with you and ask you to switch the ignition and guide you to the street where the test will begin. From this point on, everyone's experience is a little different based on the time/day/location of their test. On average, the test is about 10-15 minutes long. Most of the time the evaluator will guide you through residential areas, but sometimes they'll ask you to go on the freeway. The test usually consists of at least one lane merge, one stoplight, one 4-way stop, one 3-point turn and parallel parking or parking alongside a curb and backing up a few yards. The evaluator will monitor your reactions to everything. You'll be marked down for rolling stops, stopping over the crosswalk, not looking over your shoulder when making a right turn or lane merge, not checking your mirrors frequently, uneven driving speed, etc. There are also what the DMV calls Critical Driving Errors that will immediately fail you. For instance, if your evaluator asks you to back along a curb and your wheels touch the curb, you'll instantly fail the test.
 
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Lets say Chris commits another crime. The judge out of kindness, sentences him not to prison, but to a group home full of "slow in da minds." How would Chris respond? Would he ever get off his high horse, and realize that he is just a "slow in da mind" after all, and is not like, nor ever will be, one of the nice, normal people?
 
FifthColumn said:
Lets say Chris commits another crime. The judge out of kindness, sentences him not to prison, but to a group home full of "slow in da minds." How would Chris respond? Would he ever get off his high horse, and realize that he is just a "slow in da mind" after all, and is not like, nor ever will be, one of the nice, normal people?
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Shit himself and do nothing.
 
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FifthColumn said:
Lets say Chris commits another crime
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Nah hes too lazy. He lacks the motivation to be good at anything, even petty theft is too much of an effort and way too stressful.

FifthColumn said:
The judge out of kindness, sentences him not to prison
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Nah the judge would just sent him to jail and be done with his shit. After the Robert Bell fiasco what are the odds of him finding a somewhat decent lawyer ever again? :lol:

FifthColumn said:
Would he ever get off his high horse, and realize that he is just a "slow in da mind" after all, and is not like, nor ever will be, one of the nice, normal people?
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No. Chris is too much of a self-centered douchebag to ever realize he's anything other then the perfectly handsome artist, that intelligent brilliant 10\10 specimen of a human being he sees whenever he closes his eyes.
 
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FifthColumn said:
Lets say Chris commits another crime. The judge out of kindness, sentences him not to prison, but to a group home full of "slow in da minds." How would Chris respond? Would he ever get off his high horse, and realize that he is just a "slow in da mind" after all, and is not like, nor ever will be, one of the nice, normal people?
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Chris has been treated as a neurotypical person his entire life, I think it's beyond him now to change that point of view. He'd have a series of sanctimonious hissy fits and ultimately maintain the position that he's superior.
 
But it would be great if the staff really humbled him.... addressed him in baby talk like a child...

And paired him up with a down syndrome girl to be his "super best buddy." His illusions about himself would evetually fade..
 
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I did an ebay search for Chris Chandler and came up with this. I'm providing an Amazon link so that you can get a better look at the artwork. Looks like Chris did in fact release an album...and surprise sur-fucking-prise, it's cover has naked men on it! Chris Chandler is a homo gay! http://www.amazon.com/Convenience-S...qid=1402419478&sr=1-7&keywords=chris+chandler

chrischandlercd.jpg
 
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Captain Cid said:
I did an ebay search for Chris Chandler and came up with this. I'm providing an Amazon link so that you can get a better look at the artwork. Looks like Chris did in fact release an album...and surprise sur-fucking-prise, it's cover has naked men on it! Chris Chandler is a homo gay! http://www.amazon.com/Convenience-Store-Troubadours-Chris-Chandler/dp/B0000063GL/ref=sr_1_7?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1402419478&sr=1-7&keywords=chris chandler

View attachment 2475
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That listing will be hit by weens in 3...2...1...
 
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FifthColumn said:
But it would be great if the staff really humbled him.... addressed him in baby talk like a child...
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No professional would do that.

And paired him up with a down syndrome girl to be his "super best buddy."
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Once again, no professional would do that.

His illusions about himself would evetually fade..
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It doesn't matter how badly reality kicks him in the ass, how obvious facts are, Chris will stubbornly hold to his beliefs because he believes he's right.
 
Hexbawx360 said:
A few days ago I was watching the episode of South Park where Michael Jackson moves to South Park and does pedofork things.

I heard one of the characters say "comeuppance" which is probably where CWC learned the term.
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Actually, I just assumed he got it from an episode of the Simpsons, because there is one where Homer goes on and on about doing whatever he wants without getting his comeuppance (only, ironically, to get it in the end). Either way, I agree with you that it almost certainly came out of a TV show of one sort or another. See, the thing is, its not just that Chris misuses words that he hears but fails to understand, its that he's a terrible unoriginal individual. Chris just doesn't have a broad vocabulary. He goes out of his way NOT to read, he doesn't really have friends, and his parents are (or were) both old and probably not too intellectually inclined. Thus, Chris likely adopts much of his vocabulary simply by watching TV and soaking it in without really ever understanding it.
 
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