So an idle thought I've been nursing for a while here...
What if Chris never created Sonichu? We've already asked what if he never learned about Sonic, and I suspect he would have sperged out about other things... but this is a slightly more extreme question. After all, Chris really came to the attention of us dang dirty trolls through his crappy drawings. Would he have been trolled as much if nobody had seen his comics? Or if he was just another mediocre artist in a sea of mediocre artists? Plus, Sonichu and CWCkville were pretty much his fantasy world. Without them, what would Chris be?
Granted I doubt he would have been all that successful, or even happy, but I wonder if it would have spared him his unwanted internet fame. And maybe, just maybe, that would have made all the difference...
One of my teachers asked a similar question about Mickey Mouse cartoons. He asked what would happen if the world ended, aliens landed, and the only thing they were able to recover was an early Mickey Mouse cartoon like Steamboat Willie. What would those aliens think we were like? It was a pretty interesting thought
It's entirely possible. Well, maybe not such a fragile media as film or paper, but it's hard to know what will be preserved by the ages. In real life, most archaeology involves digging through the accumulated garbage of earlier civilizations. We've got plenty of shell middens, for example, but since many cultures (including almost every culture in the Western Hemisphere except the Mayans) didn't even have writing, texts are relatively few and far between. Even in cases where we do have writing, its either indecipherable (the Indus Valley script, for example, or Linear A; even more recent examples like the Voynich Manuscript are still ambiguous) or simply a few names or words without much context. That problem especially crops up in the Western Hemisphere, where entire civilizations were destroyed over night; we only have a couple hundred words of the Powhatan language and no grammar. Its even worse for things like Khipu.
So yeah, deciphering a culture entirely from the random material objects that were preserved (many of which were thrown out as garbage) doesn't tell you much. And in tropical, subtropical and temperate climates, things like paper and cloth tend to rot away. So you can't really determine much about religion, culture or mythology. Heck, most of pre-Christian Europe is a mystery. Sure, we know the big names like Thor, Odin and Freyja, but there's not much context for how or where they were worshipped. And peoples like the Picts and Tartessians are even more mysterious. Ever heard of Saulė, Ukko, Veles, Epona, Maetsill, Thashkhue or Cybele? Some of these deities were worshipped into relatively recent historical times (there are still unbroken oral traditions of 'paganism' in the Urals and Caucasusia). Now just imagine if Christianity were to die out and people tried to reconstruct it solely from fragmentary texts and occasional artefacts. They wouldn't have any context for priests or pastors, let alone things like "speaking in tongues," snake handling or exorcisms. The architectural designs for churches aren't in the Bible either, let alone the thousands of images of saints, nor anything Martin Luther came up with. Marriage? Divorce? Nope. No info on that either.
So yeah, long and the short is that most modern "reconstructions" of ancient religions are based on varying degrees of speculation and inference. That's why so much of the weird 19th century ethnic nationalism and the New Age movement of the 20th century have created jumbled, often contradictory narratives. Chris' Sonichu
could conceivably be the last remnant of our civilisation, depressing as that though may be. They might think it was our Iliad, our Mabinogion, our Kojiki...
Assuming that there was nothing else out there to confirm that Chris religion was a thing (CWCianity? Chrislam?)
Ironically enough,
there is already a thing called Chrislam, though thankfully it has nothing to do with Chris. It's a Nigerian fusion of traditional Sunni/reformist Islam and evangelical Christianity, mostly practised by ethnic Yorùbá in Lagos. They observe both Muslim and Christian holidays, as well as having some elements of traditional Yorùbá culture. Of course, Nigeria is about 50% Muslim and 50% Christian, and its not unusual to find families where individuals practice both religions so Chrislam kind of bridges the gap there. Given Chris' Islamophobia, I wonder what he'd make of Chrislam... hell, wonder what he'd make of various indigenous African churches, given that their theology and style of worship could be vastly different from his Christianity. Not to mention all them black people...
