Dude wasted his life. I get where he's coming from.
I get wanting to kill yourself, Im just like, dude why dont you pretend to smile? After a while you look at yourself and realize youre the fucking joke and not even endless amounts of pity and people feeling kinda bad for you, thinking youre pathetic, will fill the gaping void in your life. You get attention but people don't really care all that much and it'll never make you happy so you might as well pretend and keep lying to yourself.
I read a thing that birds who are isolated over a long period of time eventually start to fixate on looking at themselves in a mirror because most animals cant recognize their own reflection and it's the only way they think there are other birds around. Kinda like taking selfies of your miserable face.
I think I saw somewhere that depression has been shown to lower your IQ. You focus on dumb shit over the big picture, you dont have fun even doing shit you used to like, you have no drive or motivation, you dont do chores, you dont bathe -- youre never fulfilled and obviously never happy.
In some ways the dude's not even human anymore. He hasnt got a soul, or a personality. He's kind of like an empty shell filled with regret and unhappiness who lashes out and people see that's what he is and stay away. You can see it in his empty, lifeless eyes.
There's a reason people live their lives the way they do and do everything they can to not end up like Phil, and part of the reason people keep him around is to show their kids an example of how not to be, when everything in your life goes wrong and is shit.
Those who can't do, teach.