DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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Something that isn't talked about much is how Phil is entering into the age where a heart attack is a real threat for somebody not at all in good cardiovascular shape.
Let's look at his situation - wakes up at beach bum o'clock, meanders lumberingly to the fridge for his first V8 +Energy of the day, sits on his walrus blubber all day long and frequently rages, chugs more energy drinks, inhales a processed, sodium-filled, fat-laden TV dinner, then scripts his ceaseless stress on his tumbleweed forums until 4 am.
A 30 lb weight gain by the end of the year is being generous.
During one of the Sunday USF2 streams when he gets worked into an uncontrolled frenzy, the effects of not at all taking care of himself will take its toll.

Makes me wonder how many of Phil's regular Twitch viewers are just there to clip it if he happens to bite the big one on stream.
 
Something that isn't talked about much is how Phil is entering into the age where a heart attack is a real threat for somebody not at all in good cardiovascular shape.
Let's look at his situation - wakes up at beach bum o'clock, meanders lumberingly to the fridge for his first V8 +Energy of the day, sits on his walrus blubber all day long and frequently rages, chugs more energy drinks, inhales a processed, sodium-filled, fat-laden TV dinner, then scripts his ceaseless stress on his tumbleweed forums until 4 am.
A 30 lb weight gain by the end of the year is being generous.
During one of the Sunday USF2 streams when he gets worked into an uncontrolled frenzy, the effects of not at all taking care of himself will take its toll.

I'll eat my hat (or buy his shirt) if he's not also already pre-diabetic.
 
Late again today I see.
Yep.
He claimed that it was his fault he mislead people about the stupid halloween reward shit, and that he never does rewards.
He's also talking about his account is likely to be overdrawn by the end of the month.

Bonus:
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Also apparently Vidar changed his name
 
Yep.
He claimed that it was his fault he mislead people about the stupid halloween reward shit, and that he never does rewards.
He's also talking about his account is likely to be overdrawn by the end of the month.

Bonus:
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So two months in a row Phil is going to overdraw on his checking account? A savings account was never in the cards, eh? This is a trend I can't believe is happening. He's actually destroying himself.
 
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Something that isn't talked about much is how Phil is entering into the age where a heart attack is a real threat for somebody not at all in good cardiovascular shape.
Let's look at his situation - wakes up at beach bum o'clock, meanders lumberingly to the fridge for his first V8 +Energy of the day, sits on his walrus blubber all day long and frequently rages, chugs more energy drinks, inhales a processed, sodium-filled, fat-laden TV dinner, then scripts his ceaseless stress on his tumbleweed forums until 4 am.
A 30 lb weight gain by the end of the year is being generous.
During one of the Sunday USF2 streams when he gets worked into an uncontrolled frenzy, the effects of not at all taking care of himself will take its toll.

Dood, he gets tons of exercise. I mean, do you think those TV dinners just buy themselves? No, he has to drive all the way to the store *and* walk down aisles *and* go all the way to the cashier. And that's not even factoring in the return trip. And because of his stupid bugged girlfriend mechanics, he has to do laundry once a month all by himself. Basically, after a few weeks of all this intense exercise, Phil is going to be in better shape than most professional athletes. I'd count all the exercise of watering his plants, but that's unfortunately lost by all the watering can network lag.

But in all seriousness, don't forget about the sugary disaster that is his sauce. I honestly don't know if him eating TV dinners every night is better or worse than him constantly eating that tomato sugar pile.
 
Phil outwardly admitted he would be overdrawn by DAYS! Oh no, a grand total of a few DAYS he would be overdrawn before money would go into his account and he could pay his bills.
 
During one of the Sunday USF2 streams when he gets worked into an uncontrolled frenzy, the effects of not at all taking care of himself will take its toll.

Can you imagine it? DSP feels a twinge of rage building up inside him. Sweat caresses the sweet curves of his C cup moobs while the pits on his poverty, tan, gaming shirt are stained a permanent shade of dirty grey.

DSP lets loose a triage of the typical DSPisms while that twinge moves to his left arm, slowly up his arm and into his chest. The stream chat goes nuts and spam, "BUGGED HEART MECHANICS", "NUTHIN I CUD DO DOOD" and the usual shit post.

DSP hits the floor, a cloud of dust and shame form a mushroom cloud as his massive, blubberous form hits the deck. The SoK then covers his untimely death with a 3 hour special explaining why they will miss him and how it was completely normal, and healthy to wrap their lives around his.
 
"PLEASE tip me!! I need the help financially or I'm fucked! I even have to spend like $150 on 3 games just this week alone!"

This was phil just a few moments ago.

"I BUSTED MY ASS! Worked hard! Played what you guys wanted to see and YT fucked me over in July! They suck MONKEY SHIT! THEIR FAULT!"

Also this.

Christ, when comes the point that people tell him to stfu ? He made this fucking mess and he's wanting the fans to clean it up. There are so many ways he can improve his financial situation but when comes the point when he actually listens?
 
Why does he need those 15 minute long breaks? Does he perfectly time his bowel movements? or is there some explanation I'm missing.
 
Why does he need those 15 minute long breaks? Does he perfectly time his bowel movements? or is there some explanation I'm missing.

My theory is that he probably has some strict internal rules about his hours of work: "Why should I have to work more than 8 hours a day? Snort." Most self-employed people who work from home - and make entertainment as their product - know that they're always on the clock. If it takes all night to edit that video, then dammit, I'll just have to stay up all night to edit that video. Youtube content creation is a passion project.

But you can just bet that Phil gives himself an 8-hour total workday and won't work a second longer. He has a "day off". He calls an over-running stream "overtime". You just know he sits there watching wrestling on his 50-inch plasma all night long, thinking to himself: "I streamed kwality kahhntent for 8 hours, I did my job, these are my leisure hours now. You can't possibly expect me to edit videos in my after-work hours!"

So his 15-minute breaks? Cah-maaaan dood, you get a 15-minute break at your office job! So does Phil, and he'll take every minute of it.
 
My theory is that he probably has some strict internal rules about his hours of work: "Why should I have to work more than 8 hours a day? Snort." Most self-employed people who work from home - and make entertainment as their product - know that they're always on the clock. If it takes all night to edit that video, then dammit, I'll just have to stay up all night to edit that video. Youtube content creation is a passion project.

But you can just bet that Phil gives himself an 8-hour total workday and won't work a second longer. He has a "day off". He calls an over-running stream "overtime". You just know he sits there watching wrestling on his 50-inch plasma all night long, thinking to himself: "I streamed kwality kahhntent for 8 hours, I did my job, these are my leisure hours now. You can't possibly expect me to edit videos in my after-work hours!"

So his 15-minute breaks? Cah-maaaan dood, you get a 15-minute break at your office job! So does Phil, and he'll take every minute of it.

It still doesn't make sense.

When I sit at my PC for a long time, I go out for a 5 minute break every now and then, or go to the supermarket or do something that's off screen. He seems to have it extremely regimented as if he has some super important schedule to keep to. You're a fucking streamer who plays videogames for children.

It seems like it could almost be a health concern, but its completely misplaced as he'd probably benefit a lot more just getting a fucking gym membership. Would kind of make sense when you look at his other lifestyle choices.

But this is DSP so we know that nothing will ever change.

Also, is there really no other streetfighter game on a console he can play? He's sitting there crying about lag and his inputs not registering for like 100 fucking hours and still wakes up in the morning and eats the same plate of shit.

"This game is fucking terrible dood. Terrible. TERRIBLE. Oh my god, it's terrible!"
 
Let's talk about Phil belching.

It may be more obnoxious than the snort, because he has even less excuse than nasal drip. It's his choice to drink carbonated drinks. Most of the time his burps sound forced and strained, rather than involuntary. Then he says, "Excuse me!" As my old grandma used to say: "No, you are NOT excused."

Here's my advice, Phil. Drink still water before and during your stream. Why? 1) You'll fucking live longer. 2) A courtesy to your audience, not drinking carbonated drinks that make you belch when you're making microphone-recorded entertainment.
 
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