Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[bird]

"Nope, no grill marks on this completely flat surface that doesn't allow the grill to touch the meat, I don't understand!"

 

[JackDavis]

"Nope, no grill marks on this completely flat surface that doesn't allow the grill to touch the meat, I don't understand!"

I have one of these mats, and you do get grill marks. He's just an idiot because he starts off with an ice cold grill. How does he expect to get grill marks when he can't even get a set egg yolk?

 

[Jack Historian]

He tries to grill an egg on a flat mat. Whole egg slides off into the grill. :autism::autism::autism:
I would hate to work at the Bed Bath and Beyond near him, he uses then returns everything. He's such trash.

You know he didn't clean that egg out of his grill either, since in this vid all the junk in his grill causes a grease fire:

 

[Begemot]

I have one of these mats, and you do get grill marks. He's just an idiot because he starts off with an ice cold grill. How does he expect to get grill marks when he can't even get a set egg yolk?

Were there instructions for the mat explaining, as would be common sense, to wait until the mat is heated to put food on it? Is he truly unable to read or just thick?

 

[AnOminous]

He tries to grill an egg on a flat mat. Whole egg slides off into the grill. :autism::autism::autism:
I would hate to work at the Bed Bath and Beyond near him, he uses then returns everything. He's such trash.

Again, he's the DSP of cooking.

Also, why the FUCK does he crack eggs like that? It's disgusting and wrong.

And how he yells when the egg rolls off into the grill, it's like OMG laws of physics are bugged. What was the egg supposed to do when he cracked it over a downward slope? Is he unaware of gravity?

Totally HARAM in every way.

 

[Malt Liquor]

He tries to grill an egg on a flat mat. Whole egg slides off into the grill. :autism::autism::autism:
I would hate to work at the Bed Bath and Beyond near him, he uses then returns everything. He's such trash.

That Egg-craking ring
After seeing him cracking an egg and watching it rolling into the grill exclaming "Aw Khamon",I expect Jack to throw grease in the toilet or the kitchen sink pretty soon

 

[DuckSucker]

This motherfucker is so incompetent at cooking, it's hilarious. Somebody should make a montage of all the times he fucks up those products, you know how infomercials sell you their shit by showing someone fucking up really simple? He manages to get the product, and STILL fuck up the task.

 

[Aaway]

not many things piss me off as much as the way jack cracks eggs

i swear, there's got to be some sort of new disease growing under that stupid ring of his that he never takes off

 

[ChineseEarthquake]

I like how his grill isn't hot as fuck when he starts putting stuff on it. Classic Jack way of cooking things.

 

[FatNero]

Why the hell would he post this video, even by his standards it is fucking embarrassing.

 

[JackDavis]

Were there instructions for the mat explaining, as would be common sense, to wait until the mat is heated to put food on it? Is he truly unable to read or just thick?

He prides himself on not reading instructions. Many times he makes a spectacle of taking the instructions and just chucking them away on camera. Then he proceeds to get mad at using the gadget incorrectly. "AH C'MON! BEGINNERS TRAP. THE GADGET NEVER TOLD ME HOW TO USE IT."

Again, he's the DSP of cooking.

Also, why the FUCK does he crack eggs like that? It's disgusting and wrong.

The egg cracking thing always gets on my nerves. I know why he does it too. I'm sure someone showed him that if you hit two eggs together, only one of them will crack and his mind is blown. "So you're telling me that only one egg will crack? That's so cool! This is how I'm cracking my eggs from now on!" What his cro-magnon brain doesn't understand is that you don't know which of the two will crack, so it's terrible way of cracking them. Then he punches the last egg because he doesn't have another egg to hit it with. Ugh he's so stupid.

Nobody even mentioned that fart gun at the beginning. He is such a cro-magnon.

 

[Begemot]

He prides himself on not reading instructions. Many times he makes a spectacle of taking the instructions and just chucking them away on camera. Then he proceeds to get mad at using the gadget incorrectly. "AH C'MON! BEGINNERS TRAP. THE GADGET NEVER TOLD ME HOW TO USE IT."



The egg cracking thing always gets on my nerves. I know why he does it too. I'm sure someone showed him that if you hit two eggs together, only one of them will crack and his mind is blown. "So you're telling me that only one egg will crack? That's so cool! This is how I'm cracking my eggs from now on!" What his cro-magnon brain doesn't understand is that you don't know which of the two will crack, so it's terrible way of cracking them. Then he punches the last egg because he doesn't have another egg to hit it with. Ugh he's so stupid.

Nobody even mentioned that fart gun at the beginning. He is such a cro-magnon.

The fart gun should be the reason why he is stripped of his citizenship, frankly.

 

[JackDavis]

"So you get rid of the taco shell because you don't want people eating carbs, but you fill it potato chunks?"
No I think you just made that up tubby.
"[I'm diabetic].. I try to stay away from too many carbs." Bro... How about instead of putting a show for the camera and smushing up that flatbread, you do some exercise? You don't even leave the car to get your shit fast food. Bread isn't the only thing killing you.
Also it's not good to show relative size of objects by using your head. You have a size 19 neck and your head is huge, so of course things will look tiny comparatively.
He says that he doesn't like holding the taco because it's greasy. You cro-magnon, that's why they give you the paper sleeve. So you can hold it without getting your hands greasy. Ugh why do I let this guy get to me so much?

 

[AnOminous]

He says that he doesn't like holding the taco because it's greasy. You cro-magnon, that's why they give you the paper sleeve. So you can hold it without getting your hands greasy. Ugh why do I let this guy get to me so much?

It's like Jack is unaware that this is just basically a taco-shaped omelet.

 

[Jack Historian]

"So you get rid of the taco shell because you don't want people eating carbs, but you fill it potato chunks?"
No I think you just made that up tubby.
"[I'm diabetic].. I try to stay away from too many carbs." Bro... How about instead of putting a show for the camera and smushing up that flatbread, you do some exercise? You don't even leave the car to get your shit fast food. Bread isn't the only thing killing you.
Also it's not good to show relative size of objects by using your head. You have a size 19 neck and your head is huge, so of course things will look tiny comparatively.
He says that he doesn't like holding the taco because it's greasy. You cro-magnon, that's why they give you the paper sleeve. So you can hold it without getting your hands greasy. Ugh why do I let this guy get to me so much?

lol...holds a fast food fried egg and complains it's greasy. He was like 240-270lbs back in his P90X days, is he close to 400 now? Dude gets huffing and puffing just by sitting in his car and driving...

 

[Begemot]

lol...holds a fast food fried egg and complains it's greasy. He was like 240-270lbs back in his P90X days, is he close to 400 now? Dude gets huffing and puffing just by sitting in his car and driving...

I guess the dregs of fast food aren't quite genteel enough for a guy that lives off salmonella and congealed canned chicken.

 

[Aaway]

you'd think someone who's obese, diabetic, and has suffered a stroke and from kidney stones would eat just a tad healthier but nope. breakfast, lunch, and dinner all come from the drive thru

 

[Begemot]

you'd think someone who's obese, diabetic, and has suffered a stroke and from kidney stones would eat just a tad healthier but nope. breakfast, lunch, and dinner all come from the drive thru

It's almost a form of fast food assisted suicide, isn't it?

He's actually saying he has diabetes as he's eating shitty fast food. We know why he has diabetes, frankly.

 

[JackDavis]

He's actually saying he has diabetes as he's eating shitty fast food. We know why he has diabetes, frankly.

He makes such a huge show of throwing away the bread, like he's Mr. Healthy.

"You may be wondering why I made a double batch."
No. Absolutely nobody was wondering why you were making a double batch.

"It's because I'm having people over for the game!"
1) It's preseason game #4, nobody fucking watches them, let alone gathers for them.
2) THE FUCKING GAME WAS CANCELLED. It was cancelled Wednesday, the day before the game. You either didn't hear about the game being cancelled (people were coming over, someone would have said something) or you made food the day before (no chance food lasts for a day in that house with the people who live there).

Also the fucker doesn't know the difference between Italian Parsley and Cilantro. What's with these proud hairy "Italians" not knowing shit about anything Italy?

 

[Jack Historian]

Next to this guy, everything about Jack seems so...pre-evolutionary.