Yeah, CDL drug testing is actually a federal requirement, I forgot about that. After a while you get so used to having to piss in a cup all the time, you forget which license it's for, and why. Is it state, federal or company?
This is also an extemely common redneck/white trash line when backed into a corner about how useless they are. "Oh my buddy owns a landscaping company, he'll bring me on, no problem!" "Oh a buddy of mine works at the East Bumfuck RR, he'll get the ops manager to bring me on." In neither of these two scenarios is the "buddy" likely to exist, and even if he does, he's a casual acquaintance at best, and has ZERO interest in sticking his neck out for a drunken drug addict idiot with a criminal record, jail time, and drugs/booze related convictions.
In a bizarre way, I suppose we kind of pay Danny and his kind to be here for our amusement. The money taken out of my checks for his welfare is kind of like me paying him a salary... sad that I have such a shitty employee.