Containment Random Thoughts & Questions

[allisonamber]

This is a really small detail that always sorted bothered me - When Chris talks about the mating habits of the electric hedgehog Pokemon, he says specifically that Sonees and Rosees can "suckle on their mothers teet - like a milktank" (I'm somehwat paraphrasing) But what really urks me is that he compares it to a milktank, and not a fucking person? Who it's clearly inspired by? I get Chris said it because milktank is also a pokemon, but it just makes me think he's a fucking sociopath

 

[Marvin]

This is a really small detail that always sorted bothered me - When Chris talks about the mating habits of the electric hedgehog Pokemon, he says specifically that Sonees and Rosees can "suckle on their mothers teet - like a milktank" (I'm somehwat paraphrasing) But what really urks me is that he compares it to a milktank, and not a fucking person? Who it's clearly inspired by? I get Chris said it because milktank is also a pokemon, but it just makes me think he's a fucking sociopath

?

Not a person? He compared it to a miltank because it's a cow pokemon. Who was it inspired by?

 

[admiral]

Did Barb ever cook for the family? I know she's a lazy cow and a terrible mother, but she's from the period when home cooking was far more common. I wonder if Chris ever makes food for himself, other than lobbing stuff in the microwave. Although, knowing him he'd probably just cause another fire. If he taught himself to cook it might be fun for him and give him something to talk about other than ponies and retarded shit. Hell he wouldn't even have to pay for it, everything's online.

 

[Marvin]

Did Barb ever cook for the family?

In the night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and hasn't made a meal for Chris since then.

Spaghetti incident. Barb made spaghetti but Bob and Chris already ate. She chimped out and hasn't cooked for them since.

I know she's a lazy cow and a terrible mother, but she's from the period when home cooking was far more common.

I think Barb had a career for awhile.

I wonder if Chris ever makes food for himself, other than lobbing stuff in the microwave. Although, knowing him he'd probably just cause another fire. If he taught himself to cook it might be fun for him and give him something to talk about other than ponies and exceptional shit. Hell he wouldn't even have to pay for it, everything's online.

He got into that hipster meal kit thing recently, where they bring you ingredients and you cook it yourself. He seemed to get into it, but probably won't want to spend the money to keep it up.

 

[Lipitor]

Weird as it sounds, I view Chris as a walking cautionary tale as to how not to raise a special needs child.

Barb and Bob both had "starter" families they fucked up before they got married to each other. It either says something about their parenting skills, or they're just truly talented at raising ungrateful assholes. They basically raised Chris like an eternal 5 yr old grandchild. They only spoiled him and shied away from any real parenting that would of done something constructive with him developmentally. The only difference between Chris and his step-siblings is he's too naive to realize his parents didn't raise him with everything he needed growing up.

 

[AnOminous]

The DStecks money, yeah, but there was also a $500 giftcard from @Sonic Rainboom that he did use entirely on fast food.

As for the original question - Chris seems pretty set in his ways when it comes to eating - remember how he was just recently talking about his one specific favorite meal at McDonalds that he gets every time? I think the only way to make him gain weight would be a major fast-food chain to roll out a massive marketing campaign (with ponies) for a new meal that's the same price but has like 5000 calories.

The last hurrah for that will be when the movie comes out next month, and the most likely tie-in would be McDonald's Happy Meals. He would probably buy them multiple times a day until he got everything. He will consider them healthy because he gets them with the little oranges, though.

 

[allisonamber]

?

Not a person? He compared it to a miltank because it's a cow pokemon. Who was it inspired by?

I meant like, human women. I thought it was a strange referance.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

?

Not a person? He compared it to a miltank because it's a cow pokemon. Who was it inspired by?

Heh. Heh. I miss that word filter

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

The last hurrah for that will be when the movie comes out next month, and the most likely tie-in would be McDonald's Happy Meals. He would probably buy them multiple times a day until he got everything. He will consider them healthy because he gets them with the little oranges, though.

That extra quarter pounder is needed for Chris to complete his final transformation into a diabetic.

 

[Trilby]

If Chris could travel back in time and stop one of the sagas from happening which one would it be?

He'd probably want to go back to high school before "graduation" happened.

It's really interesting how Chris was interviewed by the same news station for Pulse as the Sega Watch and Win sweepstakes, like, he lived his entire life between those two events.

More or less not really leaving the area at all, except when his folks moved over to the Richmond area and he was on an NBC affiliate for that Pokemon news clip. I see though Charlottesville only has two commercial TV stations anyway so I'm sure local interest stuff like the "Watch & Win Sweepstakes" or the "Pulse" event would be big news there, and I'm sure the station probably has no knowledge of Chris before or now (unless someone bothered Googling around about it).

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I wanted to ask a question about Chris and the heartsweet saga. Chris has been on plenty of dating sites, yet he has only gotten trolled. Does he not realize that there are over 150 million women in American that don't want him?
We've discussed it before but with Chris' recent outings and blue tank tops of failure, as well as the denial of his corporeal aspect have made me wonder. Does Chris realize how ugly, fat, bald, and male he looks? Chris may not be able to recognize it consciously, but he probably can realize when a woman or a man is attractive, at least viscerally.

 

[AnOminous]

Does Chris realize how ugly, fat, bald, and male he looks? Chris may not be able to recognize it consciously, but he probably can realize when a woman or a man is attractive, at least viscerally.

No. That part of his brain is broken or, more to the point, never worked and couldn't work. He could understand if you forced it into his face and showed it to him that his weight is above average, but he recently complained about a parody picture of him because according to him, he's not fat or ugly. He doesn't think he is fat or ugly. He also has talked about staring in the mirror because he literally can't recognize his own face.

It's never his own behavior, his appearance, his choice of attire, or whatever that causes people to react badly to him. That's their fault.

 

[Lipitor]

No. That part of his brain is broken or, more to the point, never worked and couldn't work. He could understand if you forced it into his face and showed it to him that his weight is above average, but he recently complained about a parody picture of him because according to him, he's not fat or ugly. He doesn't think he is fat or ugly. He also has talked about staring in the mirror because he literally can't recognize his own face.

It's never his own behavior, his appearance, his choice of attire, or whatever that causes people to react badly to him. That's their fault.

Chris thinks it's his destiny to get everything he desires in life. He values family so much cuz it's what cartoons told him is important and his own family is his safety zone. He literally thinks the ponies on his favorite show are his friends, even though they're written to be an example of friendship to 4 year old girls. He's a 30 something adult who is using cartoon ponies as a surrogate friendship circle. It's galpals all over again. Most modern people associate and judge their status based on what their peers are doing, but for Chris, it's just not that way.

 

[MY 405]

Do you remember that time he posted that shitty blonde hair selfie from Wal-Mart genuinely asking if people thought he was good looking? I think that was the first time it had dawned on him that mommy's combing (over)Little Man's hair and saying, "Whose my handsome, handsome special boy?" Didn't mean 'you are hotter than Clooney and Tom Selleck put together.' He just rode around in his spastic mind yelling, "I AM handsome, my MOMMY said so!!!!" Every single time he sees @Subconcious Offense's genius art and starts screaming that he is " NOT fat and ugly and my head is not a bean!" I think the funniest part is how he never goes off about how his filthy skirt or the purple dong strapped to his head are wrong.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I wanted to ask a question about Chris and the heartsweet saga. Chris has been on plenty of dating sites, yet he has only gotten trolled. Does he not realize that there are over 150 million women in American that don't want him?
We've discussed it before but with Chris' recent outings and blue tank tops of failure, as well as the denial of his corporeal aspect have made me wonder. Does Chris realize how ugly, fat, bald, and male he looks? Chris may not be able to recognize it consciously, but he probably can realize when a woman or a man is attractive, at least viscerally.

I've said before that I think it's a combination of his face blindness and lack of theory of mind. It seems that he can only really tell people apart by very distinctive features, e.g. hair colour, Joseph Herring's acne, Clyde Cash's tan. But he also doesn't realise that other people don't have this problem, so he sees no reason why if he says "I'm not fat," or "I am handsome," people shouldn't just go with that.

He has expressed awareness of his weight in the past - one of his complaints about Asperchu was that he had the belly Chris "used to have." If he's having to squeeze into his clothes, and we know he is, he must have some objective awareness that he's not the svelte anime girl he thinks he is. He also combs his hair over, which suggests he's aware of his hairline.

I think the reason he gets so pissy about those aspects of @Subconcious Offense's pictures, rather than the dildo horn, the dirty clothes or the fact that they portray him as a creepy stalker, is because they highlight the fact that no one is fooled.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Chris needs to listen to Steiner

 

[allisonamber]

There's a shocking amount of existential dread I get when I think about how Chris spent his entire life in the same fucking room, not changing in 20 odd years.

 

[CumStainedFloorTiles]

Not sure if this question has been answered, but has Chris ever thought about going after bisexual or pansexual women alongside lesbians?

 

[MW 002]

No. That part of his brain is broken or, more to the point, never worked and couldn't work. He could understand if you forced it into his face and showed it to him that his weight is above average, but he recently complained about a parody picture of him because according to him, he's not fat or ugly. He doesn't think he is fat or ugly. He also has talked about staring in the mirror because he literally can't recognize his own face.

It's never his own behavior, his appearance, his choice of attire, or whatever that causes people to react badly to him. That's their fault.

Unfortunately, he inherited the worst genes from both sides of his parents. Bob was fairly handsome when he was in his 20s and Barb didn't look half bad when she was around the same age (despite having a really unfortunate face on her part). But then again, they put effort into their appearances back then whereas Chris doesn't put any effort in how he looks at all- he wasn't attractive as a man and he sure as hell doesn't look any better as a woman.

Even if he lost all the weight, the fact that his skin is in terrible condition won't make him look that much better. Just look at what happened to Pixyteri when she lost a shit ton of weight- she somehow looks even more unhealthy.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Not sure if this question has been answered, but has Chris ever thought about going after bisexual or pansexual women alongside lesbians?

He'd go after pretty much any kind of woman. He believes that both lesbians and straight women would be into him. I think the only reason he generally specifies lesbians is because he's so invested in the being-a-woman thing.