Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Beef Thunderpants]

She looks like a literal monster. Her mere presence must suck the joy and energy out of a room.

And the oxygen.

 

[Cybermorph]

And the oxygen.

Who else would want to breathe it anyway it when it all smells like cheese?

 

[multiverse]

"Shapely model Tess Holliday clomps walks London Fashion Week!" She looks entirely out of breath, and can't do a 'model walk' because she can't put one leg in front of the other.

Look at her knees; you cannot tell if she's coming or going, because her kneecaps are so buried in fat.


Tess attempts to 'model' by placing her hand in her jeans pocket


Note that they made her wear heels the entire time - clogs, but still. Also, I love that they tagged her with the fattiest fatty size of all the fats there. No escaping that.

 

[saltwatertaffy]

Look at the legit difference between the Size 18 model and the Size 22 model. Then look at how much bigger Tess is than the Size 22 model. Proof that the "26" is a big lie --- a big, fat, cellulite-ridden, french-fry-grease-smelling lie.

 

[cactus]

Look at the legit difference between the Size 18 model and the Size 22 model. Then look at how much bigger Tess is than the Size 22 model. Proof that the "26" is a big lie --- a big, fat, cellulite-ridden, french-fry-grease-smelling lie.

Tess has to be a size 30 or more, she's way bigger than me and I'm a size 22/24, not to power level.

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

She can't even get up without help

 

[multiverse]

She can't even stand up without help

And this was 2-3 years ago; she's bigger now.

 

[Geoffrey Chaucer]

"This wenche thikke and wel ygrowen was,
With kamus nose and eyen greye as glas,
With buttokes brode and brestes rounde and hye.
But right fair was hire hair; I wol nat lye."
GEOFFREY CHAUCER, 'THE REEVE'S TALE'

For the record, I would not have sex with her.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

"Shapely model Tess Holliday clomps walks London Fashion Week!" She looks entirely out of breath, and can't do a 'model walk' because she can't put one leg in front of the other.

Look at her knees; you cannot tell if she's coming or going, because her kneecaps are so buried in fat.
View attachment 280108 View attachment 280107 View attachment 280106

Tess attempts to 'model' by placing her hand in her jeans pocket
View attachment 280110

Note that they made her wear heels the entire time - clogs, but still. Also, I love that they tagged her with the fattiest fatty size of all the fats there. No escaping that.
View attachment 280115 View attachment 280114

That is a seriously graceless walk. She looks like she's tripping over her own legs.

 

[Maggots on a Train]

Look at the legit difference between the Size 18 model and the Size 22 model. Then look at how much bigger Tess is than the Size 22 model. Proof that the "26" is a big lie --- a big, fat, cellulite-ridden, french-fry-grease-smelling lie.

I agree. My point of comparison is a size 28 older lady I know, and even she is smaller than Tess, especially in the fupa. Tess has to be 30 or more.

 

[Fresh Grown Breasts]

I just looked into the Simply Be London Fashion Week spot, and didn't realise the size 18 lady in the line-up is Haley Hasselhoff (David Hasselhoff's daughter.) If you compare her modelling shots to Tess', she's noticeably much smaller. Tess needs to be a little more honest about her size. Eff Your Beauty Standards indeed.

 

[HickoryDickory]

Was the designer paid off to let her on the runway? The outfits are horrible and I can only imagine the frustration of designing for someone Tess' size. (And who lies about it)

 

[multiverse]

Was the designer paid off to let her on the runway?

Seems Tess' agency has made some arrangement for her to walk shows both this year, and last year, during London Fashion week. Whether she's paid or not remain to be seen; she was in London for book signings that happened to coincide with fashion week.

And she clearly lied about her size, as usual, because her dresses didn't fit her. I wonder if they'll be able to spin her 15 minutes into next year, or if her schtick dies by the end of this year.

 

[Trombonista]

"Shapely model Tess Holliday clomps walks London Fashion Week!" She looks entirely out of breath, and can't do a 'model walk' because she can't put one leg in front of the other.

Look at her knees; you cannot tell if she's coming or going, because her kneecaps are so buried in fat.
View attachment 280108 View attachment 280107 View attachment 280106

Tess attempts to 'model' by placing her hand in her jeans pocket
View attachment 280110

Note that they made her wear heels the entire time - clogs, but still. Also, I love that they tagged her with the fattiest fatty size of all the fats there. No escaping that.
View attachment 280115 View attachment 280114

She finally admitted she's not a size 22? I guess she's getting a little better.

 

[multiverse]

She finally admitted she's not a size 22? I guess she's getting a little better.

She's in the UK, where a US 22 is a size 26. As in: she ain't admit shit, and is still delusional. When she wore torrid clothes in a buzzfeed video a few year back, she needed 28 shorts. That was before her last calf.

 

[Misto]

How many people do you think it takes to haul her to her feet, when she sits on a couch like this?
View attachment 278804
I'll bet you cash money that's her ten year old son's main job at home: haul mama up off the couch. No wonder he's so skinny.

This photo looks like when you fuck around with the aspect ratio button on your TV and it stretches the image ridiculously.

 

[Dickens Cider]

Was the designer paid off to let her on the runway? The outfits are horrible and I can only imagine the frustration of designing for someone Tess' size. (And who lies about it)

Wasn't a designer- It was a sponsored promo for Whale Week . if you scanned her shin wrinkles with your IPhone it would take you to Discovery Channels website.

 

[Questionable Ceviche]

The back of her dress looked like it was about to burst its seams. It's very unflattering on someone her size. That had to be a last minute fuck-up where she lied about her size and all they had to stuff her in was that one garment.

 

[multiverse]

EW EW EW I really never thought shed top the nastiness of going barefoot on the Montreal subway - here's Tess in her barefoot glory at the Empire State Building, just walking her nasty feet all over where hundreds of thousands of shoes dirty from NYC street walk each day. I swear to fucking gob she's going to catch MRSA and give it to her kids. She's just so *country* y'all!

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Seems Tess' agency has made some arrangement for her to walk shows both this year, and last year, during London Fashion week. Whether she's paid or not remain to be seen; she was in London for book signings that happened to coincide with fashion week.

Can you imagine being the poor designer that draws this short straw? You spend a year on a collection you are desperately hoping will get noticed then see your "mahdle." Who can't even walk, let alone model (you have to be a gigantic fail in life if just walking along wearing a dress is beyond you.) And can you imagine any of the other FWs even considering letting this heffalump flub around on the catwalk with her trademark "I can't close my mouth because sexy."