Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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"Finally, a Hungry Hungry Hippos movie's being made! More representation for me!"
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Okay J.G. Bellend.
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"If you expose someone I like, you're a racist!"
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Christ, his attempts at memes are so fucking cringy.
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WARNING: Verbal diarrhea ahead.


I swear to God I started hearing one of Hitler’s speeches out loud as I was reading the political rant.
 
Justice League really is Bob’s blarms, isn’t it?

Hating DC movies and being a hardcore Marvel fanboy are not exclusive to Bob. I'd say his recent outburst over Spider-Man: Homecoming (where even his fans started telling him that hating the movie because they didn't just recast Tobey Macguire and make the Raimi films canon was beyond unrealistic and stupid to boot) is probably, for now, Bob's blarms.

But just wait until more press and marketing gets made for that new Mario movie Nintendo is making. The amount of angry autism we'll see if THAT ever fully materializes will put all his current ranting to shame.
 
Hating DC movies and being a hardcore Marvel fanboy are not exclusive to Bob. I'd say his recent outburst over Spider-Man: Homecoming (where even his fans started telling him that hating the movie because they didn't just recast Tobey Macguire and make the Raimi films canon was beyond unrealistic and stupid to boot) is probably, for now, Bob's blarms.

But just wait until more press and marketing gets made for that new Mario movie Nintendo is making. The amount of angry autism we'll see if THAT ever fully materializes will put all his current ranting to shame.
Now imagine if the Mario movie somehow has any positive message about "the common man". That would be golden.
 
Correct me if I'm wrong, but is Bob advocating for murder in the streets?
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Just when I thought I fully understood the breadth of his autism, along comes his Blarms.
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Just when I thought I fully understood the breadth of his autism, along comes his Blarms.

That money would be far better spent on sexy lingerie for his wife, or maybe taking her out to a nice restaurant and a show, or maybe buy his kids a video game. Maybe even a Mario game!

Oh. Right.
 
"Why can't Twittah be an echo chambah?"
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Congratulations, you're both exceptional.
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Like you!
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Bob Chipman: Closet animation sperg.
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That money would be far better spent on sexy lingerie for his wife, or maybe taking her out to a nice restaurant and a show, or maybe buy his kids a video game. Maybe even a Mario game!

Oh. Right.
If Bob had kids I could see him being a dick if he got them a Mario game. He'd hog it for himself to play as Mario and mainly let them play if they want to be Luigi or Toad. It wouldn't surprise me if he doesn't get what "co-op" implies and gets passive aggressive at his kids "getting in the way". "I'm the hero dammit!"
 
Can progressives become nazis or are they forced to become communists?
 
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I love how his opinion changed from "Jocks are the worst" to "Nerds are the worst". IRL Daily Struggle meme, everyone.
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But where is Bob in this dynamic, being too flabby and disgusting to be a jock, and too abysmally stupid to be a nerd?

He'd play himself, and would get beaten up by both the jocks AND the nerds at the end of the movie.

In my version of the movie, the jocks and the nerds recognize their own shortcomings and weaknesses and resolve to become more well-rounded people. They do this in order to counter an external threat that has popped up in their midst; an overweight pop culture reviewer from BAHSTAN who wants to take away their video games, shut down their fraternities and turn their college campus into a daycare for bluehaired YasssQueens. Bob spends the entire movie being a bumbling abuse sponge until one of the bluehairs accuses him of sexual harassment for standing too close to her and the cops slap cuffs on him and escort him into the sunset.

It's the feel good family movie of the year, I tells ya!
 

Given the number of aGG people that have been involved in various sex crimes, does that mean in this hypothetical inverse Revenge of the Nerds movie, they'll faithfully recreate the scene where Lewis rapes the quarterback's girlfriend via deception?
 
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