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CareercowRobert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic
"Check out my Everything Wrong with Everything Wrong videos..."
Man, is this nigga for real? What kind of Inception-level autism is that?
Regarding Bobbo and the Mario movie, I knew the moment when I first about it, he would be one of the ones sperging out about it. Good to see that he's just as predictable as ever.
Having watched them, he's only done like... 5. Probably the best parts are when he picks out the nitpicks Cinemasins misses them. I'd recommend the Civil War or Avengers 2 vids as least autistic. (cabin in the woods is probably the most)
Which is funny because in some of the older Disney cartoons Mickey had some attitude. Though when him, Goofy and Donald were in a short together, it usually fell to Mickey to play the straight man in the trope.
Which is funny because in some of the older Disney cartoons Mickey had some attitude. Though when him, Goofy and Donald were in a short together, it usually fell to Mickey to play the straight man in the trope.
I'm still looking forward to Bob getting to New Donk City in Mario Odyssey. Anyone want to take bets on what he says about it or how it's part of one giant city known as the "Metro Kingdom"? Will he call it his superior future and make comments about it being on a western coast?
Holy shit, the brooklyn shit really is his blarms.
"Mario's birthplace ISN'T the mushroom kingdom!" Bob shrieks as he maces the 8 year old sitting near him in the movie theater.
:autism::autism::autism:you actually just roll against your SAN, trying to get lower. But Brick by brick would be a +5 penalty, as well as 1 point SAN loss on success 10 points on failure. A-log madness added:autism::autism::autism:
Holy shit. I am actually reading the demented scribblings of a nearly-40 year old man (who isn't employed in the cartoon business) making a pitch for a movie involving a bunch of cuddly bear characters who were originally aimed at an under-5 audience. This could be the Autism Singularity right here.
Oh, and this pretty much sums up all of Bob's "reimagining" pitches right here:
1. Take popular children's franchise
2. Rearrange the plot so that the whitest, malest, most patriarchal member(s) of the cast are now the villain(s).
3. Have them defeated by the least patriarchal member(s) of the cast, (who have now abandoned their old oppressive characterizations and have become raging SJWs.)
Or as Bob himself says: Note: Yes, this is what I ultimately came up with: The Care Bears are Archangels, the Cloud Keeper is an Old Testament "god," Grumpy is a sympathetic Lucifer and this is (loosely) "Paradise Lost."
You know, because ALL five year olds just LOVE "Paradise Lost!" It's even more popular than "Frozen!" And kids just LOVE having Real World politics and deep philosophical discussions about religion and free will inserted into their episodic toy commercials!
To compare and contrast, here's MY pitch for a Care Bears movie:
Cristy (the heroine from Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation) grows up and marries DARK HEART (the Dark Lord who was turned into a human boy at the end of that movie.) They have a kid, and when that kid hits ten years of age (or so), she starts turning into a Dark Lord, like her father used to be. It's up to the Care Bears (and whatever human members of the cast show up) to figure out why this is happening and how to put everything to rights. THERE. You have a next-gen style adventure calling back to an earlier movie, a chance for some nice emotional scenes, and NO politics stinking up the narrative.
There, Bob. IT"S NOT THAT HARD (and it doesn't take up 66 paragraphs to describe, either.)
Wait, how old was Bob in 93? Because he's putting levels of need into live action Mario being good that go beyond Autism. Like for fucks sake, if I didn't know better one of you wrote that excerpt.
I'll never understand the attachment people put on these things. I mean, I played a lot of Jazz Jackrabbit while my parents were getting divorced. But I've got no attachment to anything but a nostalgia for the game. Like what goes wrong in someone's brain that a marketing mascot becomes a genuine "friend". I mean that's gotta go beyond autism.
Because what's the point of wreeeing over a Mario movie ever? I mean I can sperg out over Advent Children, because FF7 had a plot, and characters. Mario is a blank slate. He's a stand in. He's never hinted at a character beyond possibly wanting to fuck pasta
Wait, how old was Bob in 93? Because he's putting levels of need into live action Mario being good that go beyond Autism. Like for fucks sake, if I didn't know better one of you wrote that excerpt.
Holy shit. I am actually reading the demented scribblings of a nearly-40 year old man (who isn't employed in the cartoon business) making a pitch for a movie involving a bunch of cuddly bear characters who were originally aimed at an under-5 audience. This could be the Autism Singularity right here.
Oh, and this pretty much sums up all of Bob's "reimagining" pitches right here:
1. Take popular children's franchise
2. Rearrange the plot so that the whitest, malest, most patriarchal member(s) of the cast are now the villain(s).
3. Have them defeated by the least patriarchal member(s) of the cast, (who have now abandoned their old oppressive characterizations and have become raging SJWs.)
Or as Bob himself says: Note: Yes, this is what I ultimately came up with: The Care Bears are Archangels, the Cloud Keeper is an Old Testament "god," Grumpy is a sympathetic Lucifer and this is (loosely) "Paradise Lost."
You know, because ALL five year olds just LOVE "Paradise Lost!" It's even more popular than "Frozen!" And kids just LOVE having Real World politics and deep philosophical discussions about religion and free will inserted into their episodic toy commercials!
To compare and contrast, here's MY pitch for a Care Bears movie:
Cristy (the heroine from Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation) grows up and marries DARK HEART (the Dark Lord who was turned into a human boy at the end of that movie.) They have a kid, and when that kid hits ten years of age (or so), she starts turning into a Dark Lord, like her father used to be. It's up to the Care Bears (and whatever human members of the cast show up) to figure out why this is happening and how to put everything to rights. THERE. You have a next-gen style adventure calling back to an earlier movie, a chance for some nice emotional scenes, and NO politics stinking up the narrative.
There, Bob. IT"S NOT THAT HARD (and it doesn't take up 66 paragraphs to describe, either.)
You know the funny thing? I would totally support that idea of yours.
I hate the Carebears, but your idea at least sounds like it would fit tone wise into what people think of cartoons for little kids should be.
Bob's pitch... okay, first he tries to make it sound like a Gilgamesh epos by saying the Cloudkeeper is god and Darkheart is Satan, who are representing forces of evil vs good, then he sets the movie in what I would call a Sam Raimi Spiderman live action universe and THEN he expects us to take the idea of such a universe being populated by characters more childish than the cast of Friendship is Magic serious?
Heck, his idea for the movie's finale is basically Carebears go Avengers against Professor Cold Heart, who was a stand in for pedophilia in the original shorts.
How can you miss the point of something meant for kids that much? For someone who has a hateboner against Michael Bay's Transformers, this sounds a lot like what Bay would do to such a franchise.
At least he does not try to emulate Power Rangers.
Also, because I am autistic enough to believe that even some infantile ideas can be turned into something bearable (pun intented) on a very basic level without edging it up like Bob did, I had a pitch for a "Carebear" reboot in a 1 minute spit balling session I put in spoilers. I expect autism ratings, but at least I can say I did not try to go Avengers on greeting card mascots.
The thing about Carebears that nagged me even as a dumb child was the fact that a) the characters are very naive even for cartoon characters and b) this fanatastic element in what is meant to be a bit our world. Because even kids realize that the real world is not quite as simple as some 80s cartoons tried to make it look with their "Get along" mentality.
So my idea is that this "Carebears" thing is set in its own childish fantasy world, with humans and all sort of cartoon fantasy creatures living there. Something similair to what MLP did with Equestria in its latest show.
The Carebears there would be Gummi Bear like creatures with magic powers related to empathy, who were raised by some wizard and have kept a childish innocence/naivity to them, because he shielded them from the world to an almost unhealthy extend. Not out of malice but good intentions going a bit too far. When the guy disappears to fight some old enemy (insert some evil wizard from the franchise) and he leaves his "children" for their own safety within the "safe space" he created for them, they are stuck there for a couple of years till the spell bubble bursts. Now in the "real" world, a world that is less safe than what they have lived in before, but at the same time very cartoonish and optimistic (again, similiar to MLP currently) the characters go out to find their father figure. in doing so they have slice of life experiences and adventures that also start to shape them from utterly naive saccharine pieces of fluff into likable cartoonish characters who can stand up for themselves while keeping an optimistic, but more relatable to the audience, attitude about the world and themselves.
Wait, how old was Bob in 93? Because he's putting levels of need into live action Mario being good that go beyond Autism. Like for fucks sake, if I didn't know better one of you wrote that excerpt.
I'll never understand the attachment people put on these things. I mean, I played a lot of Jazz Jackrabbit while my parents were getting divorced. But I've got no attachment to anything but a nostalgia for the game. Like what goes wrong in someone's brain that a marketing mascot becomes a genuine "friend". I mean that's gotta go beyond autism.
Because what's the point of wreeeing over a Mario movie ever? I mean I can sperg out over Advent Children, because FF7 had a plot, and characters. Mario is a blank slate. He's a stand in. He's never hinted at a character beyond possibly wanting to fuck pasta
Yet again @Sexy Times Hitler does yeoman's work in providing us with a target rich environment. But I'm tired, so this is the best rejoinder I can make.
That Justice League rant tho. How :autism: do you have to be to make a bunch of tweets over one movie? If he spent as much as he does ranting on DC and Trump and did for something like writing comics or making films I think he would be okay.
fftopic: but I'm always happy for an excuse to post this.