Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[RockVolnutt]

Am I the only one who's going to bring up Bob's "I knew this would happen if they stuck to animation" implies he wants a new live action Mario movie? Wonder if he's the type that thinks that having a movie, especially a live action adaption, means you "made it" like all of Mario's success doesn't matter until Hollywood acknowledges it.

 

[Assorted Nuts]

Am I the only one who's going to bring up Bob's "I knew this would happen if they stuck to animation" implies he wants a new live action Mario movie? Wonder if he's the type that thinks that having a movie, especially a live action adaption, means you "made it" like all of Mario's success doesn't matter until Hollywood acknowledges it.

It's the closest he'll get to Mario being real. That's what I sort of figure trying to read all that shit from his book anyway.

 

[UglyOldJafar]

It's the closest he'll get to Mario being real. That's what I sort of figure trying to read all that shit from his book anyway.

Because there is no way that a movie starring a middle aged fat man with a porn mustache in unrealistic plumber outfit, is going to fail. Especially if he only speaks in catchphrases and fights against a CGI dinosaurs that looks worse than Goldar in the Power Rangers movie of 2016.

Bob should just accept that his beloved Mario will never amount to much than a children toy and cartoon character. But when he does that, reality will collaps around him.

 

[Beetlejuice Green]

A lot of what Bob says he hated about Justice League can also be applied to Thor: Ragnarok

• Villain? Barely worth a mention.

Let's not be crazy here. Both Hela and Jeff Goldblum were really good, at least above the usual mark. They were underdone in places but they were interesting enough that I hope they come back.

Your other points, especially about Bob's lack of any sort of self-reflection and criticism on his own prererred media to consume, is pretty spot-on though. It's kinda funny that he puts things like "no depth, just action and jokes" and "poor characters that were hard to empathize with" as negatives given that he seems unable to judge anything based on anything but the action sequences and the pretty lights, and his complete lack of empathy.
If only there was a condition characterized by a lack of empathy towards others and a childlike, singular focus on one thing, ignoring everything else, even other aspects of the object of obsession. Bob would have that in spades.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

Found the archive link to Bob’s pitch for his perfect Super Mario movie. Warning, he goes into. :autism:-levels of detail about it.

https://archive.is/xeIvC

 

[Assorted Nuts]

Found the archive link to Bob’s pitch for his perfect Super Mario movie. Warning, he goes into. :autism:-levels of detail about it.

https://archive.is/xeIvC

Oh I remember this now.

Mario nods grimly, tells Yoshi to escape with Peach. She doesn't understand why they need to "finish" Bowser - "It's an Italian thing," "It's aBrooklyn thing

This is so fucking shameful.

 

[UglyOldJafar]

Oh I remember this now.

Mario nods grimly, tells Yoshi to escape with Peach. She doesn't understand why they need to "finish" Bowser - "It's an Italian thing," "It's aBrooklyn thing

This is so fucking shameful.

Don't forget that one here:
http://moviebob.blogspot.de/2015/12/pitch-me-mr-b-care-bears.html

 

[Kyria the Great]

Don't forget that one here:
http://moviebob.blogspot.de/2015/12/pitch-me-mr-b-care-bears.html

Jesus Christ. Just reading a few excepts from it is like staring into the abyss of autism, and realizing it has stared back.

 

[RockVolnutt]

If his ideal Mario movie is still anything like his pitch, the worst part is the "serious" tone he wants. It's also kinda interesting how he sees Bowser as some monster to be slaughtered when it's been established for decades that he's more of a jerk-ish clown that clearly hasn't been told "No" enough. Not sure how he's planning on reconciling the Italian stereotypes with his "progressive" facade nowadays either.

Mario rarely has a "plot" outside of RPGs and barely any real antagonists that aren't "friendly rivals". If you want someone reflective of the games, the best I could come up with off the top of my head would be something like Odyssey with Mario adventuring in various locations. A story wouldn't be the main focus and the locations are mostly excuses to play around with different animation techniques or maybe even styles. Don't know if you could work that concept into a workable movie but at least it's not edge Mario (also thank god, Bob's autism isn't trying to make dark and gritty Kirby).

 

[Kyria the Great]

If his ideal Mario movie is still anything like his pitch, the worst part is the "serious" tone he wants. It's also kinda interesting how he sees Bowser as some monster to be slaughtered when it's been established for decades that he's more of a jerk-ish clown that clearly hasn't been told "No" enough. Not sure how he's planning on reconciling the Italian stereotypes with his "progressive" facade nowadays either.

Mario rarely has a "plot" outside of RPGs and barely any real antagonists that aren't "friendly rivals". If you want someone reflective of the games, the best I could come up with off the top of my head would be something like Odyssey with Mario adventuring in various locations. A story wouldn't be the main focus and the locations are mostly excuses to play around with different animation techniques or maybe even styles. Don't know if you could work that concept into a workable movie but at least it's not edge Mario (also thank god, Bob's autism isn't trying to make dark and gritty Kirby).

The great idea for a Mario movie in my opinion if you had to do one where Mario and Bowser most team up to stop a true great threat to the mushroom kingdom to make a fun buddy cop style movie. Then again, you couldn't stuff it with autism in my cut.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

The great idea for a Mario movie in my opinion if you had to do one where Mario and Bowser most team up to stop a true great threat to the mushroom kingdom to make a fun buddy cop style movie. Then again, you couldn't stuff it with autism in my cut.

I know that Bowser's Inside Story did that, even though Bowser never knew that he teamed up with Mario and Luigi until the very end of the game.

 

[UglyOldJafar]

Mario rarely has a "plot" outside of RPGs and barely any real antagonists that aren't "friendly rivals". If you want someone reflective of the games, the best I could come up with off the top of my head would be something like Odyssey with Mario adventuring in various locations. A story wouldn't be the main focus and the locations are mostly excuses to play around with different animation techniques or maybe even styles. Don't know if you could work that concept into a workable movie but at least it's not edge Mario (also thank god, Bob's autism isn't trying to make dark and gritty Kirby).

Kirby is an abomination in Bob's eyes. Seriously, guy has never forgiven Yoshi for "ruining" the Mario is from Brooklyn canon with Yoshi's Island and has a hate boner for Pokemon for stealing Mario's glory. So I assume Kirby would be right up the hate train also.

As for Mario and animation, personally I would rather suggest an animated show. Something along the line of Sonic Boom (which turned out was better than expected) which after it established a personality for Mario and Luigi can use multipart episodes for some more "story driven" stuff of the brothers going on adventures to save Peach or the kingdom from more serious villains like the ones from the RPGs. Why that approach? Because in tv shows you barely have to explain the logic on which a fantasy world works and this way you can actually spend time doing something the Mario games never did: Give Mario personality. Cause as likable as Mario is, what really is his personality aside "nice guy"?

 

[Assorted Nuts]

It's amazing that he wants to turn the most iconic children's video game character into a fucking mobster because Brooklyn. It's unbelievable how out of touch he is with the target demographic and also reality itself. Shameful really is the right word for it. Imagine if Disney put out a movie where the Prince from Snow White shot the Evil Queen in the face with an M16.

 

[Raging Capybara]

Just throw Wario, Captain Toad, Mario (and all his friends) and Bower in some uncharted island trying to get a super secret treasure (a golden and shinny star) in a very "Indiana Jones" style. It's actually not hard to do a fun Mario movie. The problem is this would be too complicated for the target audience, Indiana Jones after all is a PG-13 movie.

 

[A Random]

Am I the only one who's going to bring up Bob's "I knew this would happen if they stuck to animation" implies he wants a new live action Mario movie? Wonder if he's the type that thinks that having a movie, especially a live action adaption, means you "made it" like all of Mario's success doesn't matter until Hollywood acknowledges it.

You didn't read it, did you?

That there would one day be a live-action Mario movie had been a dream and an inevitability as long as I could remember. He-Man had a movie. Superman and Batman both had movies. Hell, Teddy Ruxpin had a live-action movie! Great things got movies, Mario was the greatest thing, so Mario would get a movie, and I’d get to see the Mushroom Kingdom looking as grand and astonishing as I’d always imagined it. So when I read this official announcement from Nintendo Power—surely the only trustworthy source on such matters—I was elated not so much by discovery as by nearness: I was already waiting, and now my wait was almost over.

[...]

I needed it to be good, because I needed Mario to be as big and meaningful a movie franchise as he’d been in gaming. Getting a “The Movie” was forever, it meant that the character and the story mattered beyond being some brief fad. Mario was not a Pet Rock, damn it - he was my friend, the thing that was getting me through the misery of pre-adolescence. I needed him to matter so that the time and energy I’d invested into him mattered.

Kirby is an abomination in Bob's eyes. Seriously, guy has never forgiven Yoshi for "ruining" the Mario is from Brooklyn canon with Yoshi's Island and has a hate boner for Pokemon for stealing Mario's glory. So I assume Kirby would be right up the hate train also.

Also no, he likes Kirby. Or at least, claimed it back when he started the damn Underthinker series. He even begged Kirby to forgive him.

His issues were more because Kirby was a cute mascot and he was growing up so he couldn't like cute pink shit.

 

[UglyOldJafar]

Just throw Wario, Captain Toad, Mario (and all his friends) and Bower in some uncharted island trying to get a super secret treasure (a golden and shinny star) in a very "Indiana Jones" style. It's actually not hard to do a fun Mario movie. The problem is this would be too complicated for the target audience, Indiana Jones after all is a PG-13 movie.

... I think you just made the pitch for the first Mario Party movie.

 

[RockVolnutt]

Kirby is an abomination in Bob's eyes. Seriously, guy has never forgiven Yoshi for "ruining" the Mario is from Brooklyn canon with Yoshi's Island and has a hate boner for Pokemon for stealing Mario's glory. So I assume Kirby would be right up the hate train also.

As for Mario and animation, personally I would rather suggest an animated show. Something along the line of Sonic Boom (which turned out was better than expected) which after it established a personality for Mario and Luigi can use multipart episodes for some more "story driven" stuff of the brothers going on adventures to save Peach or the kingdom from more serious villains like the ones from the RPGs. Why that approach? Because in tv shows you barely have to explain the logic on which a fantasy world works and this way you can actually spend time doing something the Mario games never did: Give Mario personality. Cause as likable as Mario is, what really is his personality aside "nice guy"?

Mario is intended to be nothing more than that as Nintendo prioritizes gimmicks over anything. It's pretty well know that they've thrown out perfectly good concepts if you don't frame it as "Guys, I got this wacky game mechanic idea". Even for their IPs with slightly better track records for characterization are more accidents or done by a subsidiary. They believe a strong personality for their mascot could limit what you could do with it.

You didn't read it, did you?

Yeah, couldn't make it through the whole thing.

 

[UglyOldJafar]

Mario is intended to be nothing more than that as Nintendo prioritizes gimmicks over anything. It's pretty well know that they've thrown out perfectly good concepts if you don't frame it as "Guys, I got this wacky game mechanic idea". Even for their IPs with slightly better track records for characterization are more accidents or done by a subsidiary. They believe a strong personality for their mascot could limit what you could do with it.

I know. But -obviously- Bob doesn't or is more in denial about it than some people about the Holocaust. Either of the two, depending on how you interpret his obsession for Mario in Brick by Brick.

Let's face it: Mario is such a big thing for Bob, because he believes he can be Mario. Not just like him, be him.

 

[Flexo]

What does Blob think about the live-action Mario movie anyway? Does he worship it the same as other licensed Nintendo crap like Captain or the Super Show.

Heh, given that it seems he was a bit bitter about it, I half want to start shoving this in his face:

Yeah that's right, Bob. I'm saying Cecil IS A BETTER MARIO FAN THAN YOU!

I know worse animated characters than the Minions and it was a better story than lets say the MLP movie.

Oh you TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW! Minions wasn't horrible but could have been written by a rudimentary AI. MLP's recent release at least demonstrates a bit of effort in a writing 101 class.

who takes the shit CinemaSins does even really that serious? 13 year olds who will grow out of it anyway?
Or have shitty internet reviewers give rise to a new wave of autistic obsession on the inter- nevermind, I answered my own question

I believe it is all because of this:

It's amazing that he wants to turn the most iconic children's video game character into a fucking mobster because Brooklyn. It's unbelievable how out of touch he is with the target demographic and also reality itself. Shameful really is the right word for it. Imagine if Disney put out a movie where the Prince from Snow White shot the Evil Queen in the face with an M16.

I got to admit, I'd probably watch the shit out of that.

Especially if the Prince's name was revealed to be "John Wick."

They believe a strong personality for their mascot could limit what you could do with it.

Exactly, this is something Yahtzee pointed out in one of his videos. If, for example, you say Mario likes broccoli, then suddenly you have broccoli haters angry at Mario. So they have to keep him bland to maintain the widest possible appeal.

 

[The Wwwyzzerdd]

Holy shit, the brooklyn shit really is his blarms.
"Mario's birthplace ISN'T the mushroom kingdom!" Bob shrieks as he maces the 8 year old sitting near him in the movie theater.

Exactly, this is something Yahtzee pointed out in one of his videos. If, for example, you say Mario likes broccoli, then suddenly you have broccoli haters angry at Mario. So they have to keep him bland to maintain the widest possible appeal.

Just look at the biggest mascot off all time; Micky Mouse. Name a more milquetoast character nowadays.