Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[millais]

 

[Tookie]

$100 says the next film is a big spherical doomsday weapon built by the Empire First Order that the Rebels Resistance needs to strategically blow up while Rey and Kylo Ren are onboard.

I think it will be a very safe film that ends aligned pretty much with the old EU, but they will avoid another doomsday weapon because of the backlash.

Here's the plot of Episode IX, you heard it here first:

• Opens with Leia's funeral. Kylo mopes around astral projecting and Rey feels sorry for him.
  
• Kylo has a split with Hux. He is redeemed back into Ben Solo by Love™ for Rey.
• Finn leads a stormtrooper revolt.
• Snoke turns out to be an ancient Sith force ghost (force poltergeist?) and possesses Hux or something and then Rey and Ben kill him.
• Ben, Finn, and Poe take control of the remaining First Order forces and they become the New Republic Army and the Republic comes back (yay!) in a more permanent form.
  
• Ends with a new Jedi Academy assembled by Rey with force ghost Luke, Yoda, and Obi-Wan (EWAN MCGREGOR CAMEO!!!1!1!!) as instructors. Ben broods around in the background as the Jedi Snape.

 

[Absolutego]

I think it will be a very safe film that ends aligned pretty much with the old EU, but they will avoid another doomsday weapon because of the backlash.

Here's the plot of Episode IX, you heard it here first:

• Opens with Leia's funeral. Kylo mopes around astral projecting and Rey feels sorry for him.
  
• Kylo has a split with Hux. He is redeemed back into Ben Solo by Love™ for Rey.
• Finn leads a stormtrooper revolt.
• Snoke turns out to be an ancient Sith force ghost (force poltergeist?) and possesses Hux or something and then Rey and Ben kill him.
• Ben, Finn, and Poe take control of the remaining First Order forces and they become the New Republic Army and the Republic comes back (yay!) in a more permanent form.
  
• Ends with a new Jedi Academy assembled by Rey with force ghost Luke, Yoda, and Obi-Wan as instructors. Ben broods around in the background as the Jedi Snape.

Too much time being spent addressing episode VIII, I think it's far more likely JJ just says "fuck it" and continues the story without addressing any of the things that happened in the last movie.

Snoke won't show up at all, Rose will be put on a bus for most of the movie (maaaaybe JJ will be convinced to give her a sub plot independent of Finn for ChinaBux and reviewer bait), Rey and Kylo will repeat the same conversation they've had in the last two movies, and Hux will finally die as whatever sphereoid has the laser on it in this movie blows up.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

I think that the ST needed someone like George Lucas, a visionary that can lay out the basic overarching storyline while giving the movies a more consistent tone. You can still have different directors, but having someone like Lucas could prevent the plots from feeling like they've been made up as they went along.

With The Force Awakens, JJ Abrams set up numerous potential plot points, such as Rey's lineage and Snoke's backstory, that would have been addressed in the sequels. However, Rian Johnson made Rey a nobody (something that just adds more fuel to the belief that she's a borderline Mary Sue) and didn't even attempt to explain who Snoke was before having him die like a bitch, all in the name of trying to subvert expectations. Now that Abrams is set to return to direct Episode 9, who knows how he'll handle some of the "messes" The Last Jedi made.

I still liked those movies, but the new trilogy just feels disjointed and inconsistent.

It’s getting really irritating to see people defend those dropped plot points by going “THAT WAS THE POINT! Star Wars is subverting expectations and doing away with all the old stuff because stagnation is bad!”

 

[God of Nothing]

It’s getting really irritating to see people defend those dropped plot points by going “THAT WAS THE POINT! Star Wars is subverting expectations and doing away with all the old stuff because stagnation is bad!”

Ah yes, subverting expectations with shittier outcomes and following the exact same plot lines just with different names to certain factors is the perfect way to prevent stagnation with immense degradation.

 

[Xerxes IX]

Not to mention it makes their trilogy look disjointed if Abrams and Johnson don't seem to work together at all. (with that whole mystery boxes/fuck the mystery boxes we subversive now shit)

It's like they've forgotten that the whole point of a trilogy is that each part is one act of an overarching story. All this does is ensure Episode IX is going to be lame and underwhelming. All that can happen now is the good guys kill Hux and/or Kylo Ren and they win, except padded out to two hours.

 

[Emperor Julian]

The house of mouse will most likely be right up the arse of whoever gets to make the next one. I imagine the initial board meeting with the new director will be quite awkward as Andrew wilson and whoever gets the blame for the han solo movie quietly beg for death in the background.

 

[Absolutego]

Not to mention it makes their trilogy look disjointed if Abrams and Johnson don't seem to work together at all. (with that whole mystery boxes/fuck the mystery boxes we subversive now shit)

It's like they've forgotten that the whole point of a trilogy is that each part is one act of an overarching story. All this does is ensure Episode IX is going to be lame and underwhelming. All that can happen now is the good guys kill Hux and/or Kylo Ren and they win, except padded out to two hours.

If the movie still grosses half a billion opening weekend regardless of quality, why would any exec at Disney give a shit about the comprehensibility of the ongoing saga?

 

[vertexwindi]

If the movie still grosses half a billion opening weekend regardless of quality, why would any exec at Disney give a shit about the comprehensibility of the ongoing saga?

Because bad movies don't sell toys and shirts, and eventually people will only take so many lame Star Wars movies before they start bleeding money too.

 

[TheImportantFart]

Having watched the film a second time, I enjoyed it a lot more than I did the first and it's one of my favourites now. I don't think it holds up to the Original Trilogy, but those films have an historic quality that no new film is realistically going to match, so that's to be expected.

I'm not going to spoiler anything here, because I assume if you've read this deep into the thread you've either seen the film or already seen spoilers. If either of those assumptions are wrong, read no further.

In my earlier post, I mentioned I had a problem with Snoke just being some guy, but I take that back now. I read an interview with Rian Johnson where he said the reason he killed Snoke off was because he needed Kylo Ren to come into his own, and didn't want to take out five minutes for Snoke to explain he was Darth Plagueis, only for Rey to go "Who?". I think this was the right decision. Let's face it - if Snoke isn't Darth Plagueis, the only other person he can really be is... some powerful alien from somewhere we've never heard of. I don't think everyone would've been happy with either of those - Darth Plagueis is too obvious and some guy from somewhere would be shouted down as unsatisfying.

Plus, before the Prequels came out (when life wasn't so horrible) the Emperor was just some guy who was powerful in the Dark Side. If you read the novelisation of Return of the Jedi, you'd know who he was, but I've never considered the novelisation of a film to be a good place to put information like that. The Original Trilogy still works even if you don't know who he is. If Snoke had survived, he would just have been killed off like the Emperor in Return of the Jedi. That act was Darth Vader's redemption. Ren killing his Master wasn't his redemption and now he's the big bad - that's a dynamic we've never seen before and I'm interested to see where it goes.

One of the reasons I liked the film so much is because it understood what made the Original Trilogy so great. In the Original Trilogy, the bad guys have incredibly powerful weapons and the good guys have nothing to fight them with except a few old ships and hope, yet they still manage to triumph against those overwhelming odds. That's a really powerful message, and one of the reasons the Prequels sucked so badly is because they lost that - you just had two disposable CGI armies going up against each other. Getting back to that message of hope in the face of desperate odds is a major step in the right direction.

I honestly think this is a film that rewards repeat viewings. From reading posts on this site and elsewhere, I think people watched it once and wrote it off. If that's not the case then fair enough, but if it is, I would recommend a rewatch. If you don't want to do that however, and you're one of these people who thinks the film makes the Prequels look good, please watch the Prequels again and remind yourself what bad writing looks like. At least there were no lines about how much someone hates sand.

All that said, it annoys me people are blaming the polarised reaction to this film on conservatives and the alt-right. I've mentioned elsewhere my Facebook is overwhelmingly left-wing. Two friends of mine in particular who are big leftists (approaching SJW) didn't like this film. One hated it, the other thought it was the bad side of mediocre. It's not just the right who think it's bad.

So yeah, I'm still one of the people who liked this. I'm hoping to see it again in theatres and I'll be getting the Blu-Ray when it comes out. Call me a Disney Shill if you like, I'm happy.

 

[Absolutego]

Because bad movies don't sell toys and shirts, and eventually people will only take so many lame Star Wars movies before they start bleeding money too.

That hasn't cratered the transformers movies and I don't think it'll do jack shit to Nu Star Wars.

Especially since Disney is obviously trying to make the series appeal to the Chinese market, who will watch just about anything so long as it has explosions and no interracial romances.

(on that note the Last Jedi did spike its chances of crossover appeal, but I fully expect Rose and Finn to be completely written out of episode IX)

 

[Male Idiot]

That hasn't cratered the transformers movies and I don't think it'll do jack shit to Nu Star Wars.

Especially since Disney is obviously trying to make the series appeal to the Chinese market, who will watch just about anything so long as it has explosions and no interracial romances.

(on that note the Last Jedi did spike its chances of crossover appeal, but I fully expect Rose and Finn to be completely written out of episode IX)

Wouldn't the Fat Fat Rose and Finn's romance bother the chinese in such a case? I mean its already on screen.

 

[Tookie]

Rose will be put on a bus for most of the movie (maaaaybe JJ will be convinced to give her a sub plot independent of Finn for ChinaBux and reviewer bait).

She'll tag along while he starts up the stormtropper revolt. Then, towards the end of the movie, Finn and Poe will run into each other in a hangar bay and be all excited to see each other in a brief scene because they are friends.

 

[Absolutego]

Wouldn't the Fat Fat Rose and Finn's romance bother the chinese in such a case? I mean its already on screen.

I keep hearing a rumor, but haven't been able to verify, that the kissing scene between the two of them ins't in the Chinese release.
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon...jY3NzQ2Mzc@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,756,1000_AL_.jpg
Also, Kelly Tran isn't actually fat, she only looks it in the Last Jedi because of her anime-tier haircut and frumpy costume

 

[Male Idiot]

I keep hearing a rumor, but haven't been able to verify, that the kissing scene between the two of them ins't in the Chinese release.
Also, Kelly Tran isn't actually fat, she only looks it in the Last Jedi because of her anime-tier haircut and frumpy costume

Not exactly slim, but yeah I had seen her on interviews, and damn she looks much more normal than in the film. I don't know how, but the whole Rose deal is just unflattering.

 

[Xerxes IX]

Not exactly slim, but yeah I had seen her on interviews, and damn she looks much more normal than in the film. I don't know how, but the whole Rose deal is just unflattering.

Lots of asian women have chubby faces no matter what their body type is, but yes it was the hairstyle and clothes they gave her that made her look like a fatty

 

[Kamen Rider Black RX]

You'd think with Star Wars being such a big brand name that Disney would at least hire competent writers to do the big sequel trilogy.

Seriously though, I think the problem comes a lot higher up than the writers. The one thing that's continually popped up with regards to Disney Star Wars is the "creative differences" between the directors and Lucasfilm. It seems pretty clear that Lucasfilm doesn't have any sort of roadmap for this story, instead there's this "by committee" feel to it as it's designed to be highly marketable with diverse casts and "strong" female leads. Hell, I'd even go so far as to say that they want to replace the characters of the original trilogy like they're not good enough in current year. The fact they're giving Johnson his own trilogy after they saw TLJ says enough. They saw what they want out of Star Wars in that film, whereas other directors may fight to tell the stories they want to tell. This of course results in them leaving over "creative differences" with the owners of the IP. This could even apply to why they canned the EU, it gave them a stronger position when saying what Star Wars is now.

Then you have Forbes writing articles about how a corporation like Disney can do Star Wars better than an auteur like Lucas, implying something that's been focus tested to death is better than a work that takes risks. TLJ wasn't meant to split the fanbase the way it has, and all the critics believed that fans would eat it up.

 

[millais]

When I was watching the opening act of the movie, I was confused why everyone online was complaining about the East Asian character being fat. I was thinking, "she's not that fat, guys, come on". But then she got killed, and the fat one showed up and I was like

 

[Absolutego]

When I was watching the opening act of the movie, I was confused why everyone online was complaining about the East Asian character being fat. I was thinking, "she's not that fat, guys, come on". But then she got killed, and the fat one showed up and I was like

She's a cutie IRL, I'm surprised there hasn't been a backlash against the movie for intentionally making her look awful. You'd think that tumblr would have a field day with giving the asian lead of a movie a haircut from Kill la Kill and a potato sack to wear all day. If she wasn't such a case of obvious pandering to the groups that would normally get outraged over this, I think we'd be hearing a lot less about this movie's incoherence re: Luke and a lot more about dressing down the women in this film.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]