Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[toilet_rainbow]

Your cafeteria had a dedicated nacho line? That's pretty awesome.

Haha yes, it was a huge ass cafeteria for a huge ass school, so there were several lines of certain cuisines (pizza, nachos, tendies, etc) to get people through the lines faster. It was pretty cool.

One of my school's principals was fired before the school year even started for suggesting to the school social worker that she should wear stilettos. The position was pretty much vacant for the entire year until they finally found someone to replace him for the next year.

 

[Dirt McGirt]

This one time I thought I avoided getting killed by a school shooter.

I was walking down one of the less used halls to use the bathroom. Keep in mind the other end of the hallway was just a few classrooms and an a door that was always openable from the outside. An I swear to God here comes this guy that in some get up kinda like that guy Tate from AHS with the face paint and everything. We share this look and pass each other and I end up chilling in the stall for a bit to kill sometime before I had to go back to class. And after a minute or so, the exact same guy walks in (I could tell by the same black boots and I could look over the stall and see the top of his hair) and he just stands there since it was just the one stall, a urinal, and a sink for another minute or so with me thinking I was about to die. He ends up leaving and I wait a few minutes to make sure he's gone and I book it to the main office thinking there's some psycho running around ready to pull some shit. As I'm describing him to them one of them stops me and says that who I thought was someone pulling a Columbine was in reality -I shit you not- .. a mal cheerleader doing some dress up spirit week and that he was supposed to be dressed as a "rockstar". My friends wouldn't stop giving me shit about it for months.

I got some others, but I'm tired so I might post them tomorrow.

 

[Black Waltz]

a girl got caught sucking someone's dick in the auditorium during my drama class one time, everyone noticed her except for me because I was distracted by something

 

[Cake Farts]

I had one of “those” friends that you talked frequently but didn’t really want to get to know on a deeper level. She was an obese emo anime loving pervert with BPD.

She also liked to draw. I’m not saying this out of spite, but she was a pretty bad artist. She used to ask me for advice on her drawings and how she could improve them, and on one occasion she asked me to check a sketch for her. Okay, fine. But it had to be quick though since it in between classes; so she nonchalantly pulls out her sketchbook and flips it to a crude sketch of a nude, wonky looking, derp faced, big titted animu bitch hugging a shittily drawn giant cock. Mind you we were in a crowded hallway when she showed me this.

Then there was the occasion when she brought her laptop to the cafeteria and was showing us her steam library, then she tells us about this hentai game where you get to simulate rape with a chick and then she opens it up and starts playing it.

And being the fatass she was, there were times when she would bring a lunch bag to class and devour everything in it within a class. Well, she didn’t have anything else to eat that day so you know what she ate? Paper.

Tbh she could totally warrant her own thread but I’m not that kind of person, so I’ll calmly wait until someone discovers her and contribute more.

 

[The Fool]

I had one of “those” friends that you talked frequently but didn’t really want to get to know on a deeper level. She was an obese emo anime loving pervert with BPD.

She also liked to draw. I’m not saying this out of spite, but she was a pretty bad artist. She used to ask me for advice on her drawings and how she could improve them, and on one occasion she asked me to check a sketch for her. Okay, fine. But it had to be quick though since it in between classes; so she nonchalantly pulls out her sketchbook and flips it to a crude sketch of a nude, wonky looking, derp faced, big titted animu bitch hugging a shittily drawn giant cock. Mind you we were in a crowded hallway when she showed me this.

Then there was the occasion when she brought her laptop to the cafeteria and was showing us her steam library, then she tells us about this hentai game where you get to simulate rape with a chick and then she opens it up and starts playing it.

And being the fatass she was, there were times when she would bring a lunch bag to class and devour everything in it within a class. Well, she didn’t have anything else to eat that day so you know what she ate? Paper.

Tbh she could totally warrant her own thread but I’m not that kind of person, so I’ll calmly wait until someone discovers her and contribute more.

Fuck that, at least put more in Personal Lolcows, I wanna hear more

 

[El Garbage]

A teacher ordered my father to bash a cat to death in school, that's pretty fucked up even for the 1950's.

Some geniuses built a crossbow at shop class, and managed to accidentally shoot me in the back with it. Thankfully they hadn't put a tip in the bolt yet.

 

[ICametoLurk]

A teacher ordered my father to bash a cat to death in school

Based.

 

[Big Nasty]

Continuing with the theme of sudden bodily evacuations: There was this kid called "Li'l Fred" who all of a sudden puked up a load of french fries at a playground. The strange part was that it did seem like he had swallowed them whole instead of chewing them. Came up whole.

 

[vertexwindi]

I was the weird kid in school together together with a friend of mine. Didn't realize a lot of things at the age of thirteen, like "shower everyday", "don't make inappropriate jokes" or "shave that moustache it looks like shit". Eventually I learned how to pass as more or less normal and people more or less stopped treating me like a weirdo. My friend ended up becoming known throughout the entire school though, he's still really eccentric to this day. Ever seen a cartoon for kids where there's a character that speaks only in catchphrases? He's that, pretty much.

Aside from that, let's see... we had this foreign home shop teacher, very friendly and lenient guy. One day home shop class was cancelled because it turned out he had stabbed his wife right in front of his children and the whole school found out in only an hour or so. We've also had some really awful physics teachers. My physics teacher in my second year of high school was heavily rumoured to be a paedophile because he was always getting close to girls in class. He was let go the following year for unspecified reasons. We had another physics teacher who was unbelievably spineless and gullible to replace the previous guy. We were having a test in a biology lab with those tables that cover you from the front, and everyone just put their textbook in their lap and got the answers by looking through the book. The teacher was very pleasantly surprised at the grades we got for that one test, but I think we were only able to pull that stunt once.

Oh, and the most amazing thing of all in my opinion - that friend of mine I mentioned before, he's Asian and you know what they're like - great with maths and computers and whatnot. He managed to find out that every computer in the school saved a list of recently used usernames and passwords. It was encrypted but it wasn't a particularly difficult one to crack so eventually we could obtain everyone's credentials by walking up to a computer, plugging in an USB and running some program. He had also made his own program to shut down the school's security systems (which allowed them to view every monitor), start and kill any process and delete any file on the computer. They never covered up those security holes until our graduation at the very least so you can imagine the fun we had. God we were angsty teens.

 

[Big Nasty]

someone took a shit on her face

Please tell me a girl did this.

Bodybuilding.com

 

[millais]

Please tell me a girl did this.

You couldn't tell from the photos, but the way people were talking about it, sounded like some football jock was responsible for the dirty deed.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

I took zoology one year. Part of the coursework included dissections. We were required to dispose of our mutilated corpses at the end of class for obvious reasons.

One of those were of a fish. Someone in another class from mine sneaked theirs into their bag or pocket. Dunno why they took it. Guess they were proud of how they cleaned it. Regardless, the fish fell out while they were on a flight of stairs. So there was a gutted fish plopped onto a stair, accompanied by the stench of formaldehyde, for at least a day until a janitor finally got to it. Their class was banned from doing any further dissections for the rest of the semester.

(Honestly, that didn't mean much since there was only one more dissection after that. Still.)

 

[The Fool]

I took zoology one year. Part of the coursework included dissections. We were required to dispose of our mutilated corpses at the end of class for obvious reasons.

One of those were of a fish. Someone in another class from mine sneaked theirs into their bag or pocket. Dunno why they took it. Guess they were proud of how they cleaned it. Regardless, the fish fell out while they were on a flight of stairs. So there was a gutted fish plopped onto a stair, accompanied by the stench of formaldehyde, for at least a day until a janitor finally got to it. Their class was banned from doing any further dissections for the rest of the semester.

(Honestly, that didn't mean much since there was only one more dissection after that. Still.)

Reenactment footage

 

[0 0]

You couldn't tell from the photos, but the way people were talking about it, sounded like some football jock was responsible for the dirty deed.

That's unusual to me since a lot of the awful things students do to each other involving bodily wastes were usually from female students in my experience. One example in particular was when I had a friend who had a used menstrual pad (that the person also used the other side to wipe with) shoved into her gym locker right before a long weekend and the stench fermented so much that it stunk up the whole locker room when she got back.

Still, male or female, there's something profoundly wrong with somebody who readily, and sometimes literally, throws around their own excrement.

 

[Big Nasty]

I went to a school where 13-year old kids chewed tobacco and wore cowboy boots.

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

I once fell down the stairs and some boy laughed at me.

 

[Gooseunderscore]

Had several kids who pulled their pants down all the way when using the restroom.

 

[DailyToastBoat]

I don't know if it's 100% true, but once a teacher caught a student jacking it on the toilet.

 

[TheClorax]

I distinctly remember in the first grade one of my classmates got the Sonic plushie he brought taken away. Why he brought a Sonic plushie to school? :autism: probably. So when the teacher was writing on the white board, the tard ran up next to her, and

Never saw him again after that. But the “shit class” was remembered for years to come, hell, we even talk about it from time to time.

 

[Existential Crisis]

- Once we'd enter middle school we'd get a new homeroom teacher. I didn't know this at the time, but we were supposed to get an upbeat lady in her 40s whom I'd see in the hallway now and then. She looked nice although I'd never talked to her, but first impressions were pretty good. Instead we got an old, jaded woman who always thought of us as idiots, never apologized for anything she did wrong and you could smell her acid-breath in a 2-feet radius. 3 years later, Nice Lady died from breast cancer.
* Homeroom teacher always desperately tried to solve our bullying and self-segregation problems and always failed. We were a class of 12 with the vast majority being girls, and that social hellhole could only be survived by being in small cliques that do not overlap.

- I had a classmate who'd play pranks on everybody. During recess he'd take people's stuff and hide it elsewhere in the classroom. Pencil cases ended up on the lamp, books were found in desks they didn't belong, fights broke out between him and the victims whenever he was caught red-handed. All in jest though. He had some good jokes. Other than being annoying and slightly autistic, he was pretty cool.

- A girl in my class was an emo prick, who feigned depression and cut sideways. Her friend (a backstabbing whore, matching pair) showed the teacher and the class Emo's facebook during homeroom, while she was sick at home. Turns out she posted a lot of photos showcasing her tits. Suddenly the principal deputy walks in on us asking what we're doing. Homeroom teacher said we were looking at graduation clothes. We played along and actively blocked the monitor from Deputy's view. We convinced her and she left.
* In math class, when it was time for teamwork, I was often teamed up with Emo and her friend because I was good at maths and they weren't. I'd tell them how to solve the problem and they'd cry about how it's so much work, not even bothering to copy the answers. When the teacher was within hearing range they'd blame their exceptional incompetence on me and get me in trouble. After that I just stopped trying and I still hate teamwork because somebody is always too stupid, lazy or bitchy to get things done right, or done at all.

- Sometime after we left middle school, a friend from one of the classes below told me some interesting things. Some girl (in his class? not sure) got pregnant and had an abortion after her parents found out. A gypsy girl also got pregnant but kept the baby and was homeschooled from then on. Both girls were about 13 at the time.

- In high school, we had to bring our own food and drinks to prom party. My mother made me bring alcohol-free champagne. People were pretty angry and disappointed but I don't think anybody realized it was me.