Inaugural Reveal of First Lady of Gout (Speculation Station)

[Monday Michiru]

DSP's almost certainly lying about some aspect of this, whether he's doing it deliberately to throw detractors off or he genuinely can't help himself I don't know. Looks at what he's said. EVERYTHING is contradictory.

-she has no internet presence and doesn't want any but wants to appear in his videos
-she lives thousands of miles away but met Phil "randomly", presumably without the internet
-has a job, but will need to look for a job in WA, now is "transferring"
-needs a new work uniform, clothes, shoes etc despite having a life and a job already
-needs a phone but is still talking to Phil daily

I don't think Phil is smart enough to play the misdirection game so he's probably just lying, doing the old Phil trick of saying whatever sounds best in the moment regardless of truth.

One thing that is clear is Phil is gaslighting the fuck out of her, using all the textbook plays, mainly lovebombing. When I say textbook, I mean it. Read any book about this shit and the examples they give will be clear. "I love you," "You're my soulmate," "I've never felt this way before," and so on. Assuring the girl she's special and it's nothing like his past relationships, lowkey dissing your ex to build up the new girl. Phil's done all this PUBLICLY, so who knows what he's like in private. It's like a beginner's guide to gaslighting. I've never seen it be so blatant. The only difference is these people usually keep their endgame quiet, while Phil is explicitly saying he's only doing it so she can help with bills and be his maid.

Where I'm going with this is all this means one of two things.

Phil is lying because the girl is vulnerable - young, drug addict, abuse victim, whatever - and he's trying to cover up the fact he's trolling for damaged goods so he can manipulate them. Or the girl is smart enough to recognise all of this and is lying to Phil and he's too dumb and too focused on getting a maid to realise he's being taken for a ride. This would explain the contradictions, if the girl suddenly says she needs new clothes and a new phone etc to move in because she knows she can get what she wants from this dumb economic illiterate.

Business degree-holding economic illiterate, culturally single, scholar of gaming, Edward Snowden of the FGC. What a catch this one is.

 

[millais]

Yeah I doubt the "sugar daddy" angle is the only draw, there must be some other dynamic at work. Why would she want to hitch her fortunes to a man owing years of back taxes, untold thousands in debt, two mortgages, and terrible credit?

 

[RavenZX13]

Yeah I doubt the "sugar daddy" angle is the only draw, there must be some other dynamic at work. Why would she want to hitch her fortunes to a man owing years of back taxes, untold thousands in debt, two mortgages, and terrible credit?

Think cuz she knows she can still milk the butter slug for all he's worth (which isnt much i guess). She must have realized it when he kept flashing wads of cash.

That or this may all still just be made up & phillip is now stuck in a ditch that he himself dug.

Alternatively? Think hes gonna hire a hooker here & there to pose as the "gf".

 

[CausticMinory]

Whoever he ends up dating, watching it crumble apart will be much more fun if the weens stay out of it. It's be funny if the reason she has no online presence and only came to see him three times not because she has a job, but because she has a boyfriend in her state. And Phil is so dumb and naive that he just trusts her 100% that a woman in this day and age with access to a cell phone does not have a twitter, Instagram, etc.

 

[KingjadVCMP]

I've pointed this out before but considering how much Phil has admitted to spending on this person already, money that could have went to those taxes that he had his fans pay for instead through fundraisers, then this woman may as well be an escort considering how much money Phil is throwing at her to get her to be a live-in maid.

It's obviously going to end poorly for him.

 

[DiabeticSP]

I think people are making the mistake of assuming she knows anything about his dire financial straits (or even that those are actually true to begin with).

More likely he doesn't mention shit like that to her and he spent all 3 weekends throwing cash like it was going out of style to impress her.

It's more likely she assumes he's an older, 'confident' guy who's financially secure.

Because just like Liana she's probably barely legal and naive enough to fall for Phil's blunt force girlfriend acquiring strategy.

Who knows what kind of things he's said and promised to get her moving in after literally less than 15 days of together time.

 

[Fayt]

You should not be worried because it has nothing to do with you or any of us. The entertainment with Phil is watching him screw himself over from a winning situation - machinima, YouTube in general, for example. The moment you begin to let it personally affect your own feelings, when you become emotionally invested like that, is when to take a step back IMO.

I'm only saying If someone like Phil can get a red haired girl who's 18, slender with thigh gaps and a cute face, it poses some existential doubts in oneself. Especially if they can't get a date or are a virgin well into their twenties. If a slug like Phil can get a hottie, what does it mean for other guys who are single or a virgin? When you see Phil succeed at anything it brings up existential conflict for me.

 

[DiabeticSP]

I'm only saying If someone like Phil can get a red haired girl who's 18, slender with thigh gaps and a cute face, it poses some existential doubts in oneself. Especially if they can't get a date or are a virgin well into their twenties. If a slug like Phil can get a hottie, what does it mean for other guys who are single or a virgin? When you see Phil succeed at anything it brings up existential conflict for me.

Guess you better kill yourself.

Not because you can't get a girlfriend and are a loser virgin. But because a pathetic streamer on the internet getting pussy and having a purely hypothetical hot girlfriend is enough to trigger you this bad.

 

[Fayt]

Whoa, whoa I never said I was triggered. Just makes me wonder what I can do differently I guess.

 

[KingjadVCMP]

I'm only saying If someone like Phil can get a red haired girl who's 18, slender with thigh gaps and a cute face, it poses some existential doubts in oneself. Especially if they can't get a date or are a virgin well into their twenties. If a slug like Phil can get a hottie, what does it mean for other guys who are single or a virgin? When you see Phil succeed at anything it brings up existential conflict for me.

Then I pity you for comparing your life to Phil.

Phil is a toxic cunt who values their worth as a human based on money and possessions, he's extremely materialistic. We know from his own narrative that he's invested a lot of money in this person, if they exist, and believe it or not some women like the idea of being with a rich guy, even if they don't know much about them - if the guy can buy flights, clothes, nice meals and create an illusion that it can always be the way to live if they live with them, that can persuade people even if others know better of the true character of the individual.

This woman, if she's real, knows nothing of the toxicity that is Phil Burnell. She's gonna grow tired of him and bail. It is inevitable.

 

[neger psykolog]

I'm only saying If someone like Phil can get a red haired girl who's 18, slender with thigh gaps and a cute face, it poses some existential doubts in oneself. Especially if they can't get a date or are a virgin well into their twenties. If a slug like Phil can get a hottie, what does it mean for other guys who are single or a virgin? When you see Phil succeed at anything it brings up existential conflict for me.

http://cannedcornanal.ytmnd.com/

 

[Numer54321]

Whoa, whoa I never said I was triggered. Just makes me wonder what I can do differently I guess.

You can Chad the fuck up is what you can do.

Streaming online (children are stupid and have no sense of fiscal responsibility), weekly work outs at your local grocery store, avoid the sun, 60 lbs over weight, max out Every. Line. Of. Credit. Financial security is for beta-cuck pussies. Red meat. Full Chad reached at max gout level.

 

[OneDaySon]

Does anyone else think Phil makes it sound like this chick is coming from Prison or a homeless chick she found?
"She's gonna need new clothes, a driving license, she's gonna need to be picked up, she has nowhere to live so she has to move in ASAP, she has to be flown in, we gotta do this all quickly"

 

[Ilscuro]

Does anyone else think Phil makes it sound like this chick is coming from Prison or a homeless chick she found?
"She's gonna need new clothes, a driving license, she's gonna need to be picked up, she has nowhere to live so she has to move in ASAP, she has to be flown in, we gotta do this all quickly"

For any normal person all those requirements she needs would set off alarm bells, for Phil it's his 'soulmate'

 

[CausticMinory]

I'm still in the "Phil is getting played by a chick who has a boyfriend back home" theory. It's easy to lie to someone and say they don't have any social media interactions if the person being lied too is naive as hell. If the chick has to leave the goutmansion for a few days in a month or so, gold digger she might be.

 

[Monday Michiru]

I'm only saying If someone like Phil can get a red haired girl who's 18, slender with thigh gaps and a cute face, it poses some existential doubts in oneself. Especially if they can't get a date or are a virgin well into their twenties. If a slug like Phil can get a hottie, what does it mean for other guys who are single or a virgin? When you see Phil succeed at anything it brings up existential conflict for me.

It sounds to me like you need to completely unplug from internet drama/related timesinks and focus on your own well-being. Maybe do some reading on self-improvement. Just make sure you don't turn into a MGTOW.

I'm still in the "Phil is getting played by a chick who has a boyfriend back home" theory. It's easy to lie to someone and say they don't have any social media interactions if the person being lied too is naive as hell. If the chick has to leave the goutmansion for a few days in a month or so, gold digger she might be.

Phil reads the polite enthusiasm in generic copy/paste letters from MCNs and internet companies and thinks the sentiment is legitimate, and him by extension special and wanted. An easy mark.

 

[CabbageMan]

I'm only saying If someone like Phil can get a red haired girl who's 18, slender with thigh gaps and a cute face, it poses some existential doubts in oneself. Especially if they can't get a date or are a virgin well into their twenties. If a slug like Phil can get a hottie, what does it mean for other guys who are single or a virgin? When you see Phil succeed at anything it brings up existential conflict for me.

Buddy you could show presentations on the wall with this amount of projection.

 

[Coin Ops]

In my headcannon she's a grifter who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. She knows what to say, and do, to string a desperate mark along. In his own words "She's said things to me that no one else has and done things to me no one else has."

I can't decide if she has a barb-wire tattoo or someone's name on her neck. She definitely smokes generic cigarettes, though. Puts them out on the underside of her boot before going inside to save the rest for later.

 

[Sparkletor]

I don't know. If she isn't able to move somewhere and get clothes or a driver's licence on her own she's probably a child. Xmas tree girl looked pretty young. Do you think she told mom and pop about her soul mate and who he is and what kind of work he does? I'd be kind of concerned if it was my daughter. Unless she is an adult mid 20s to 30s. Then it's her life and she can make her own mistakes. But would a mentally sound adult woman be a DSP fan? I guess we'll see in a couple weeks.

 

[Raven'sChild]

Yeah I doubt the "sugar daddy" angle is the only draw, there must be some other dynamic at work. Why would she want to hitch her fortunes to a man owing years of back taxes, untold thousands in debt, two mortgages, and terrible credit?

1) All expenses paid move to the West Coast a stone's throw from L.A.
2) Free room, board, new phone, driver's license + insurance, as well as a NEW wardrobe.
3) Needy, horny, recently dumped older man she can wrap around her pinky with little to no effort.
4) Above stated man willing to throw copious amounts of money at her to the point of going broke because he's delusional enough to think his 'fans' will cover the expense with the next 'emergency /fundraiser'.
5) Same man makes WAY more than he admits, so she has plenty of time to bleed him dry before he even realizes it.
6) Man who does not know anything about how much his expenditures actually are making it easier to take him for everything he's worth before he notices.
7) Only has to 'burn a couple pots of water' and set the smoke detectors off in the townhouse a couple times while he's streaming to not have 'to cook for him' anymore.
Only has to accidentally ruin his 'special black begging shirt' to no longer have to do the laundry.
9) Gets to enjoy all expense paid 'stay-cations' in Seattle ...and possibly other locations * pinky twirl*.
10) Possibility of turning her 'cooking videos' with Phil into a New even more dysfunctional Hannah Hart. 'Drunk' Cooking vids propelled her career >.>
..I think I'll stop at my top 10.