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- Aug 23, 2014
Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic
- Thread starter Enriku
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- Jan 25, 2018
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- Aug 13, 2016
I didn't know cow tipping was still a thing.Also, if you feel like laughing your ass off tonight:
Pokemonquistador
kiwifarms.net
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- May 9, 2017
The only one waging a war on that woman's body is the one shoving moonpies and mcnuggets into its mouth on a constant basis (ie; her.)
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- Aug 24, 2014
Fifty Shades is adolescent female power fantasy. To give it more thought is retarded.
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- Dec 28, 2014
Also the demon is much more likely to be what you are.
Not many of us are good enough to be able to sympathize with a perfect hero.
Kyria the Great
kiwifarms.net
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- Jun 2, 2017
Well honestly redemption is one of the most story elements in my book because of the exact reason above. Then again, redemption is somewhat considered Judeo/Christian in nature and thus Bobby has an automatic aversion to it despite even its literary merits.
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- Sep 26, 2017
Cow crossover. Both literally and in Kiwi-speak.Also, if you feel like laughing your ass off tonight:
1st off, another cow crossover with Ashley Lynch.October can't come soon enough.
2nd, IMO, this tweetstorm completely encapsulates why Bob is so terrible at his jahb.
Like, I share his concern about how Venom can stand on his own in terms of origin, but whereas a cultural critic who's good at his job would try speculating about it with an open mind and make an actual piece about the movie that they can get paid for, we know that Bob already has the contacts to pull that off.
However, Bob takes the opposite approach: He shits on the movie based on a fucking teaser, and we all know that means he will give it a bad review, he can't stand saying "I was wrong about that one". And not only that, he shits on it on a platform that brings him no money, so he fails in both the cultural criticism and the clickbait-y aspects of his job.
I think I will check out this movie, it seems like it has a unique point of view, and I am getting very, very tired of the typical Disney superhero film format.
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- Jun 9, 2013
I'm unsure how he can consider this a joke when he's constantly going on about "Obsolete people holding back progress"
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- Feb 7, 2013
Bob even knowing what pinatas are is cultural appropriation and he should flagellate himself at the altar of Social Justice to atone
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Nathanthebard
kiwifarms.net
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- Nov 28, 2017
Of course hed relate to pinatas, theyre fat and full of candy, hes fat and full of candy.
Emperor Julian
kiwifarms.net
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- Dec 20, 2015
There was a guy I used to work with, he used to crack jokes about women in the kitchen non-stop to the point where they where it got obnoxious. Naturally this shit got real thin with the women and eventually the men (I found it tiresome and I come here to mock potatoes), his fallback was always it was a joke. He eventually got fired for inferring one of the girls was a whore and reducing her to tears in front of his immediate superior but always maintained it there was no malice in the quip.
I never figured it out, maybe he's just a stupid prick with a bad sense of humor maybe he really did only view women as fuck holes which made him dinner. The truth is it doesnt matter because people don't judge you by your abstract stances they judge by how you conduct yourself on a daily basis. So Bob either hates poor people to the point he wants them gassed or he's such a sperg that he conducts himself like someone who does-the truth is irrelavant because he's an total prick either way.
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- Feb 12, 2013
One of the most basic parts of a good story are twisting archetypes of characters. Deconstructing them, examining them, and either turning them into something else or reconstructing them back to their original form and showing the audience why they are the way they are. Turning a villain into a hero or a hero into a villain, if done well (i.e. darth vader into anakin skywalker) or even if done really fucking poorly (i.e. anakin skywalker into darth vader) will be extremely fucking memorable and on a very basic level add depth to even the worst written character in the worst written story.
Why else would the single most popular comic franchise right now be the fucking comic book tie in to that Injustice game from a few years ago?! by doing a very basic "superman snaps and goes bad" story they immediately have broad appeal since readers immediately want to know
a) why he fell from grace?
b) just how far he will fall and how evil he will get?
c) whether he can ever return to being the hero he once was?
d) what will his relationship with other characters turn in to?
And this can go a thousand different ways and still be a well liked or at least widely read/watched story, whether the hero gets redeemed or not, because anyone who likes the character of the hero is going to want to see just what the fuck happens.
And with villains its basically the same, and arguably more profound since villains are often well liked even before they have a redemption storyline. I mean for fuck sake every basic nurd conglomeration and even goddamn TUMBLR knows this. Why do you think there is such obsessive fappery over the likes of severus snape, jamie lannister, zuko from avatar, vegeta, homra akemi, and a thousand anime characters i cant be arsed to look up? #
Lets just think for a second if blobbo's beloved mario franchise had a game where Mario gets possessed by that big ghost faggot and turns into a crazy megalomaniac villain, causing Bowser to become the main protagonist for the game and end up saving the Mushroom Kingdom, even if the game was utter shit even by mario standards it would still be extremely memorable to fans for the basic subversion of characters.
The blob on the other hand would likely throw a public shitfit about it since he has the mind and emotions of a spoiled, entitled, angry toddler who thinks that popular media should be based around his wank fantasy of a black/white world where the icky evil villains always lose at the hands of his wish fulfilment heroes who are perfect and whom are beloved by everyone.
Hell lets take the genre of westerns for a moment. For a century of books and 50 or so years of film, Westerns were near universally typified by a specific archetype of protagonist character, a rough, tough and unkillable badass who was morally pure and good hearted even if a little cranky, never falling to temptation or fighting for greed or for revenge or for the fun of it. The heroes were always good, the villains were always bad, the townsfolk were always grateful.
Then in the 1950s (and probably before that) things started changing. People were really fuckin bored of the standard western film and its cookie cutter characters, and so film makers started changing shit. The Searchers for example turned John Wayne from the rough around the edges but good hearted cowboy into a gleefully genocidal psychopath who scalped the dead to deny them a happy afterlife and was prepared to straight up murder his niece when he found she had integrated into the native tribe who kidnapped her, and in the end even when he had found some redemption he basically just walked into the wasteland to die knowing that he had no place in a civilised family or civilised society.
And it was so goddamn awesome and well loved by the public and film makers alike that it started the wholesale reformation of the Western Genre into the cynical, anti-hero centred, morally grey and questionable genre we know of today. This reformation peaked with Sergio Leone whose Dollars Trilogy and Once Upon A Time In The West officially buried the traditional western forever and are each regarded as absolute masterpieces today for just how much they buttfucked the old stereotypes and archetypes to death. From then on there would be nothing but films aping these masterpieces, with the occasional new innovation in how to subvert and twist the traditional western narrative with things like introducing the start of modernity to the west and pitting old cowboys against the erosion of their traditional way of life (i.e Big Jake and Red Dead Redemption) or putting greater emphasis on Native Americans and how they were dicked about with.
If blobbo was a fan of old westerns instead of mario, he would probably have spend his life shrieking about how The Searchers was his own personal vietnam while the works of Sergio Leone were the ultimate betrayal of real westerns and that anyone who likes them is psychotic subhuman scum
(come to think of it, the idea of a Western fanboy moviebob is fucking hilarious. imagine him with a tiny little cowboy hat on his fat head and a too-tight fcking sherrif vest and badge instead of his mario cosplay)
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- Feb 24, 2016
Asa_Spades60
kiwifarms.net
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- Jun 28, 2016
And beating both with sticks is fun for all ages.
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- Aug 24, 2014
but...but....that was in OBAMA's era!I guess in Michael Bay's case, showcasing the US military is "pro-fascist"![:\](/styles/custom/emotes/svg/chris-confused.svg "Confused :\")
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Princess and the Frog Blobbo. Princess and the Frog did this like a decade before, and probably will still do the whole action girl can do this with no man thing better than this soulless corporate movie you're shilling for no reason due to Blade and Spawn you fuck. You're slowly approaching Paul Feig level bad now, and any day I fully expect you to quote from something like Citizen Kane or the Wizard of Oz and not know where it came from.
The hilarious thing is I actually think Bay as a director is perfect for a Lobo movie. The character is a violent destructive drunk whose goal in life is to murder for profit and do all the bitches. The character really does play to his 'strengths' if you will. Mark two for Bobby being bad at his job.
Aaand strike three, Blorb is out and it's no wonder that he's been fired from so many jobs given how hard he sucks at even this. Netflix wants to make money and be established more as a purveyor of decent stuff for a wider audience; they do not want to be Syfy and try to war in that niche.
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