DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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Sooo was bored and looked up "darksydephil" into the Wayback Machine. Was not aware his website was darksydephil.net at one time:
https://web.archive.org/web/20110107121130/http://www.darksydephil.net:80/
EDIT: Oddly was a fan site, not official.

Even funnier is it seems someone else has bought it. darksydephil.net in it's current form:
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xAnonAnonX said:
If she is with the fast food industry, like kentucky fried chicken that she could be working the week after she has moved in, it depends on how she has arranged things. If she is smarter than Phil it can be in all kind of different ways.
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It really depends if Phil was even telling the truth about the job, or if he just said that to soften the criticism of moving another person into the house when he can't afford it by himself. Even if true, if he buys her the phone, clothes, shoes, and a fucking car(did he really say something about this???) whatever she brings in wouldn't be enough to break even anyway.
 
"If I don't upload videos for four days people will be like 'Well, Phil's dead. Time to unsubscribe.'" -Phil Burnell

PUBG - February 11, 2nd stream commentary

Pregame

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  • We'll see about that.
  • 10 minutes late he pops in chat to state he needs to add the UFC 3 videos to the playlist and then it's time for PUBG.
  • No more Fred Meyer Hungry Man's for Phil:
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  • Green badge = 75000 bit cheer = $750
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  • Once on the mic he had a 35 minute pre-stream. Talks about his girlfriend moving in, anxiety that people will forget about him if he's gone for 4 days, and having to do laundry tonight.
Match 1
  • Chat wants to see him get a Chicken Dinner before his time off. He'd rather just relax and talk to chat while playing this stupid game.
  • Tips start coming in with consoling messages about the UFC 3 blowup. The reason he went off on chat during UFC 3 was because he was tired. He's fine now. So if it's no longer da trolls fault, shouldn't he apologize to those he called "fucking idiots?"
  • Chat is baiting him asking about popular streamers. He's smart and demurs on shitting on anyone. He doesn't know of any twitch streamers who have done bad stuff lately.
  • "I don't even know who the big twitch streamers are. I pay no attention. I have no idea. Much like YouTube, I have no fucking clue."
  • "I'm not sitting there on twitch staring at the top guys saying 'What a fucking asshole. He's so popular and I'm not, and he's doing this and that. It's not fair.' I don't do that."
    • February 6, PUBG stream, match 1: Throws shade at Dr. Disrespect. He's salty the guy cheated on his wife but gets all the attention and money. He's also not doing anything original and people only watch him because they started watching him a long time ago. It's just a word-salad of bitterness and jealousy.
    • February 8, PUBG stream, match 7: Makes puking noises and says that's who popular streamers do. That and make highlight videos. Chat says he sounds like he's making fun of Dr. Disrespect. He has never watched Dr. Disrespect. He's going to call himself Dr. Vomitorium from now on.
    • February 9, PUBG stream, match 3: Chat baits him with Dr. Disrespect. Mentions $100k in his return stream. "Those people are fucking idiots."
  • Acknowledges that he used to be an asshole. "I'm certainly not like that anymore."
  • Finds an M16 quickly. I've noticed finding the M16 or M4 sets the tone for his early game. Now he's having a blast hoarding ammo and talking to chat.
  • Speaking of ammo, he needs 2 magazines tops. I have never seen him go through more than 2 magazines in a game.
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  • "I don't even…How do you take out the frag? I doubt I'm going to be able to do it because I don't even know how to control it properly." He's literally been playing and hoarding grenades for over a month without knowing how to use grenades.
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  • Oh , Derich.
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  • Hears a vehicle drive by the house he's in. Hides until it drives off.
  • Passes up the Vector in favor of keeping his AKM. I counting this as "leaving the better gun behind" shenanigans because the Vector is a good close-quarters submachine gun and he already has the M16 for long range gunplay.
  • Someone in chat mentions losing a game after being hit with the M4. "I told you guys, everyone dies to the same shit in this game."
    • Over the last 4 streams he's only died to the M4 or M16 18% of the time.
    • "Early game it's always the shotgun. Always." This is the gun he says is worthless and can't kill anyone. Can't kill anyone but him, I guess.
  • 30 minutes of running around and hiding. Thinks he hears someone. "Uh oh."
  • Chat asks about his most successful YouTube year. Stops playing the game to think. It was 2012. He made insane money. Things were okay in 2013-14. 2015 was the "perfect storm of shit" because of false copyright strikes and a nonsensical word salad of blame.
  • 31 players left. Phil's employs his late game strategy: hide prone behind a rock in the tall grass.
  • Chat asks how much money they would need to give Phil for him to go to Evo 2018. He can't go because "Number 1: affording the trip to Vegas, traveling to Vegas, paying for room and board in Vegas, paying for Evo entry, paying for food, the cost of the flight, all that." "Number 2: you're talking if I did that you're talking days and days of not working. And as of right now I need to be working as much as I possibly can to pay my bills, pay my taxes…"
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Findom update:
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Anon makes a good point:
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  • Down to 22 players. After sitting behind a rock forever, the circle forces him to move. Hides in a house barely inside the circle. Circle moves again. Phil assumes his final form: prone in the grass.
  • Sees a guy shooting from a second story window. Does nothing.
  • A guy runs up on him. Phil empties a magazine at point blank range. All shots go wide. Guy kills Phil with 1 shot.
  • Parting shot: "Wow wasn't that great. The guy was running straight for me and as soon as I started to fire the framerate chops so badly that the bullet wouldn't hit him and I tried to re-aim and it wouldn't do it (holds controller up). This game sucks! He runs up with an S12K and I can't hit him. He's right in front of me and I can't hit him at all. Isn't it funny how every game ends like that?!"
    • Here's my take on why he still sucks at this game despite streaming it the past month: only a small amount of his time is spent in gunplay. Search YouTube for how to git gud at PUBG and the advice you will consistently receive is: drop into highly populated areas with other people and get in gun fights immediately. Your matches will be shorter, but you'll get the gunplay experience you need to improve.
    • From there you can easily educate yourself on some of the finer points of PUBG that he is ignorant of: how to throw, cook, and underhand roll grenades, how to effectively lean/peak to present a smaller target, how to silently crouch-walk in buildings (which he complains about as if it's as bug), and why you shouldn't waste time looting every item you come across. But he's the pro gamer, not me.
  • Place: 13
  • Killed by: S12K
  • Weapons at time of death: M16, AKM, frag grenade
  • Number of kills: 0
Match 2
  • Isn't paying attention and doesn't land where he wants to. "I might as well kill myself because I'm fucked."
  • Complaining about his death in the previous match again. "I just love the end of that last game. Dude is literally making a beeline straight for me. I pull out my gun, I look down the red dot sight, I'm about to fire, and all of a sudden the framerate goes from 20 frames to 5. So I go to fire and all of a sudden chop-chop-chop-chop the guy goes sidestep-sidestep, teleporting as he does it and kills me with one shot of a shotgun. That's the sign of a great fucking game folks."
  • Immediately transitions into how well he did at CoD WWII and Star Wars Battlefront 2 as evidence that it's not him, it's PUBG that sucks. "The framerate in those games is an actual playable fucking framerate." Let's remember this quote for the next time he plays those games.
  • Chat baits him with Dr. Disrespect cheating and making $100K. Phil is quick to say he's not saying anything bad about the guy, then proceeds to say bad things about the guy. Phil doesn't like it that the guy's receiving money when he's a cheater. Phil is convinced he would never get away with that because the world is out to get him.
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  • Takes fire. Runs around a house. There's another guy on the backside of the house. Empties a magazine point black. Accomplishes nothing. Dies.
  • Parting shot: "Dude what the fuck?!"
  • Place: 51
  • Killed by: M4
  • Guns at time of death: M16, Mini14
  • Number of kills: 0
Match 3
  • Chat baits him about YouTube. Usual word salad. Toxic, edited content with jump cuts and dead rats. No real gameplay. YouTube is designed to be negative because detractor videos appear before his.
  • Someone takes a shot at him through a window. "What a buffoon!" Phil shoots out the window and throws a grenade. Holy shit, he actually threw a grenade. Accomplishes nothing.
  • While prone in the grass behind a tree he sees a guy on the other side of the tree. Empties a magazine into the tree. Gets killed.
  • Parting shot: "What the fuck?! You saw what happened? I was getting hit before it ever showed him being visible!" No he wasn't.
  • Place: 5
  • Killed by: M4
  • Weapons at time of death: M16, Kar, frag grenade
  • Number of kills: 1

Match 4

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  • "Way to go AnonySaurusRex. You have given me a question I LITERALLY cannot answer." "I don’t rank my experiences by a hierarchy of classifications." Except when you said CoD WWII and Battlefront 2 were better than PUBG earlier in the stream.
  • An airdrop lands right by him. Runs away.
  • 10 players left: "I'm not going to win, I'm going to get killed with a shitty gun. I've already accepted it." Gets shot. "See?!"
  • Parting shot: "What the fuck is an M24?!
  • Place: 10
  • Killed by: M24 (bolt-action, long range rifle)
  • Guns at time of death: M16, AKM
  • Number of kills: 0
Postgame
  • Plug to vote for the game you want to see him play. Don't miss your chance to be called a "fucking idiot" for picking the wrong game.
  • Worthless Humans avoided: 4
  • Magazines emptied: 3
  • Better guns left behind: 2
  • Rants about the UFC 3 stream: 1
 
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ThePlagueTND said:
Sooo was bored and looked up "darksydephil" into the Wayback Machine. Was not aware his website was darksydephil.net at one time:
https://web.archive.org/web/20110107121130/http://www.darksydephil.net:80/

Even funnier is it seems someone else has bought it. darksydephil.net in it's current form:
View attachment 381283
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why did some filipino register that site in 2010?

EDIT: I don't think that's an official site, some dude in the philippines made it to peddle spam links and used DSP as his keyword generator.

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Keystone said:
What if she is a gold digger I wonder? You think people will try to help him realize who she really is, or just laugh as she drains his finances?

Also I think she'll be a 5 or 6 in the looks department like Leanna was.
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the cycle will be very obvious
at the first sign that she's leeching off of him, trolls will talk about it, phil will ignore it
bitch on twitter once and bitch on stream for 3 hours

more and more signs pop up, the fans notice, and try to out her to help papa phil
phil bans tons of people and laughs at them
he'll go on twitter to talk about how she isn't leeching "I just talked to her and she said no, and i believe her, we're soulmates, she wouldn't lie, okay?"

the signs becomes so obvious that phil notices, but he desperately brushes it off

then either she runs off in the night, or he kicks her out
phil goes on twitch to brag how he caught her and knew all along she was a golddigger.
then beg for all the shit he lost
 
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neger psykolog said:
why did some filipino register that site in 2010?

EDIT: I don't think that's an official site, some dude in the philippines made it to peddle spam links and used DSP as his keyword generator.

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gotcha. That's what I get for looking for just a second. I saw Smark Guys and the rest of the DSP trapings and just assumed lol.

I guess he never knew about it since I don't recall him ever mentioning a fan site. Tragically it seems the fan is a detractor now.
 
ZehnBoat said:
then either she runs off in the night, or he kicks her out
phil goes on twitch to brag how he caught her and knew all along she was a golddigger.
then beg for all the shit he lost
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One more thing; his paypigs give him the money he begs for despite all of this because they are sofa king wee todd ed and it gives them sexual gratification

Then Phil stumbles away into another manufactured or self-inflicted crisis and it boots again
 
Well, we all knew this was coming. He's going to buy a new 4K Tv while simultaneously planning another April fundraiser.



He's also now claiming he may have lost weight rather than gained it after the breakup.
 
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Consider the Following

I believe that it could be the new maid who's pulling the strings. I mean let's take a good bloody look at Phil and let's pinpoint some important facts about him.

  1. Phil is on his own, in a different state, away from his parents and his old friends (which he had left), has no friends or connections in Settle, lives in a massive house on his own with hardly any interaction with any human beings other than going out to buy food.
  2. Has a very high source of income and can easily beg for more money in a large amount with hardly any effort.
  3. His massive ego pushes him to parade around, acting like king of the castle with a pretty little doll on his arm as well as making him blind to the obvious but his ego is so fragile that he has to dismiss any criticism.
  4. He loves spending money. He loves to splash out on goodies and toys he doesn't really need and justifying it to his fans.
  5. He's a very weak man. He hardly puts up a fight. He let's his fans do the fighting for him and acts all smug when they get a small victory.
My point is that Phil is the perfect catch for a gold digger. I'm not talking run of the mill Clara Babylegs level, I'm talking an actual predator maneating gold digger. He's so superficial that he'll need her much more than she would ever need him because she's gonna be part of his image and we all know what Phil's like when he projects the "I have a girlfriend" card to his detractors.
 

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Well it looks like Phil uploaded another Teaser on his Instagram but shortly after deleted the picture in question.
Maybe he got harassing comments or the GF had buyers regret and wanted the picture taken down immediately after lol

(This was a faked picture and the person who posted it got threadbanned 4 autism)
 

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DarkSydePundit said:
Well it looks like Phil uploaded another Teaser on his Instagram but shortly after deleted the picture in question.
Maybe he got harassing comments or the GF had buyers regret and wanted the picture taken down immediately after lol

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REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
 
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AmericFront said:
or she manages to kick him out
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is it legally possible for someone to "give" a house or condo or whatever phil lives in?
because i'm sure if the soulmaid plays the "let mommy take care of everything" cards, she could end up owning the house. then hold that over his head when he acts like an ass.

SoGoose said:
Why is he treating her like a piece of property?
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because that's all other people are to phil
his parents exist to give him wolverine statues, and paint his house
his girlfriend exists to clean his house and cook him food
his friends existed to make him popular and give him money
 
DarkSydePundit said:
I mean that's REALLY pathetic of him to do shit like this.

Phil, your girl has feelings, too!
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Fucking 30 minutes into her arrival and he's already had to delete a picture.
If he keeps it up this may even come close to being as entertaining as the escort/Bronsgeest saga was.
 
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