So I just watched this video from 4 years ago when she was with Krystle. She reads us her MyFitnessPal bio which she has for some reason decided to write as a goddamn poem or a story. It's fucking hilarious. Starts at 5m4s sorry idk how to skip forward.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nFSale50QQ if the embed doesn't work.
"I love to write, and I'm very good with my words, um, on paper...but sometimes out loud I don't know how to express myself very well"
"Pure pleasure of each piece of pizza" A+ alliteration
"My mouth, my mind, it all wants fattening cheeseburgers and pints of Ben & Jerry ice cream. But my heart - now that wants something completely different, and it rhymes with 'ballad'" took me a bit to dissect this one...but she's trying to convey poetically that her heart wants a salad
"It's so easy to let myself go but so hard to put a noose around my fingers to stop the eating that I should not be doing" a noose around your..fingers? Gorl?
"I wanna try and forget the fear of extra skin, and live in the fear of obesity to get myself more motivated" DO YOU REALIZE HOW DELUSIONAL THIS IS AMBER?!?!?
"My weight gets stares, my ass doesn't fit in chairs" Will the real Slim Shady please stand up
"This is my journey, of me, melting to my success story" ?????? melting? what.
"The constant
grasping for air while walking up the small flight of stairs is embarrassing"
"This will change my life in such a big, positive way - almost like -
internal happiness"
"It said 'My Inspirations' I put my girlfriend, my health, and life itself" Well folks, mic dropped, we have a modern day Shakespeare on our hands.