Money Financhu Crisis / Chris sells his stuff megathread

[Gunslinger]

Something that classic Chris had a hard time comprehending, that and scrubbing his greasy skon

I can't believe Chris is giving hygiene advice...and hair care advice at that! This reminds me of when he had been in a "relationship" with Jessica Quinn for approximately 5 minutes and decided to give that long, rambling speech over Twitter on how to find and keep True & Honest Love.

 

[Beard_Chan]

Does Chris Stream? I hate to say it but I bet he could make a decent amount of money per month from donations/troll donations if he tied a text to speech to donation comments, or set donation goals to do stuff.

I would say he should get a part time job but I know that would never happen...

 

[Keine]

The Chandlers had a decent nest egg that Bob left them and they pissed it all away on lawyer fees back when Chris tried to run Snyder over.

I have absolutely no sympathy for their long term financial situation.

 

[crayolasword]

Chris needs to get into the infomercial game with his mad sales skills.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

lol, the description:

"I am totally changing my hair colour to a dark blue, so I’m selling my leftover, unopened and unused Teal Colour Conditioner. Colour your hair as I did for a while. Be Tealfully Proud like I was. Gloves are not required for applying the conditioner in the shower; be sure you apply it after your regular shampoo and conditioner, and make caring for your hair come First before washing the rest of your body. I enjoy a daily shower with Irish Spring Soap, Garnier Fructise Paraban-Free Shampoos and Conditiners, and water. Rinse off your Colour conditioner Only after finishing washing your body and face, or five minutes after applying it into your hair. And try to keep your Colour-conditioned hair from getting hit by the water before the time is proper to rinse it out, for Best colourful results."

Irish Spring Soap and Garnier are probably not too happy with this endorsement

 

[Optimus Prime]

I like how Chris autographed each car that makes up the giant robot.

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Oh my GOD what a dipshit.

Puzzler actually WOULD have been worth a pretty penny, and this moron is so full of himself that he legitimately just devalued it by an exponential amount by defacing it with sharpie!

As much as Gobots are a joke, seeing him deface a rather interesting piece of 80s history like that genuinely pisses me off.

EDIT: You all will probably find this amusing, but based on how the Police Car component transforms (it's the crotch) regarding its nose/hood, Chris essentially signed the robot's CROTCH.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Oh my GOD what a dipshit.

Puzzler actually WOULD have been worth a pretty penny, and this moron is so full of himself that he legitimately just devalued it by an exponential amount by defacing it with sharpie!

As much as Gobots are a joke, seeing him deface a rather interesting piece of 80s history like that genuinely pisses me off.

Don't worry, some EPIK WEEN is going to own CHRISTORY by buying those

 

[Ravenor]

Oh my GOD what a dipshit.

Puzzler actually WOULD have been worth a pretty penny, and this moron is so full of himself that he legitimately just devalued it by an exponential amount by defacing it with sharpie!

As much as Gobots are a joke, seeing him deface a rather interesting piece of 80s history like that genuinely pisses me off.

I'm not a toy collector but I keep aware of that market because of the silly money you can make for next to nothing in terms of cash investment and a few hours walking around a Car boot sale but the Transformer market is beyond weird with it's pricing so I am not surprised OPL screwed his own taint with that sharpie.

I mean if you know what your doing you can remove sharpie quite easily but because of the plastic's that where in 80's and 90's toys some solvents are really not going to play well with each other and mess it up more, and abrasives and plastics don't play well either so trying to fix it that way is a no go from the start.

 

[Jack Awful]

I'm glad this was made into a megathread because of how many of these Chris is making (and so little of anything else)

 

[johnny5150]

Wonder if chris will try and sell his frozen sperm on eBay next?

 

[LoveYouLongTime]

I doubt Barb will even care, she's the one who got them to remortgage an old house in the 1st place, she took money out of Chris's life insurance.

You are placing far too much confidence in the competence of an insane woman with old age issues, and not enough in the person who is basically keeping the household afloat now. Of course I say this knowing that Chris has (at fucking best) the competence of a 12-year-old, but you and I both know that he is the brains of this operation, for good or ill.

I think that this thing got real when the trespassing charge happened, because before that, Chris had a far more relaxed demeanor about his sales, and didn't make a lot of effort in pushing it, now he is clearly desperate, he's been far more active in hawking his junk during the last week than he was during the entirety of this year.

@Marvin and @LoveYouLongTime may have a different opinion, but so far, I believe him enough to pay more attention.

Pretty much what @Marvin said. Wheelin' and dealin'! Barb has a shitty grasp on her financials, and will avoid paying for as long as possible but I don't think she'll let it slip so far that their house will be foreclosed on. But if it does come to that, that just means we'll buy 14 Branchland and turn it into a museum.

 

[James Howlett]

Pretty much what @Marvin said. Wheelin' and dealin'! Barb has a shitty grasp on her financials, and will avoid paying for as long as possible but I don't think she'll let it slip so far that their house will be foreclosed on. But if it does come to that, that just means we'll buy 14 Branchland and turn it into a museum.

That was MY plan if i ever won the lottery; end the financhu crisis by buying 14bc as is, with the horde for a ridiculous amount, and turn it into a walkthrough museum. Id even pay christorical figures to make special appearances. I would also ban chris.​

 

[Raiken]

Does Chris Stream? I hate to say it but I bet he could make a decent amount of money per month from donations/troll donations if he tied a text to speech to donation comments, or set donation goals to do stuff.

I would say he should get a part time job but I know that would never happen...

Chris streamed a few times, but complained that he only got 80 bucks from playing destiny once.
Also, he played Uncharted 4 and was UNGODLY bad at it and demanded people to give him 5 bucks just for passing the level.

 

[Optimus Prime]

I'm not a toy collector but I keep aware of that market because of the silly money you can make for next to nothing in terms of cash investment and a few hours walking around a Car boot sale but the Transformer market is beyond weird with it's pricing so I am not surprised OPL screwed his own taint with that sharpie.

I mean if you know what your doing you can remove sharpie quite easily but because of the plastic's that where in 80's and 90's toys some solvents are really not going to play well with each other and mess it up more, and abrasives and plastics don't play well either so trying to fix it that way is a no go from the start.

Yeah, for whatever bum ends up with that Puzzler, the only silver lining is that Chris at least didn't use sharpie on the stickers - though he got right up NEXT to them so it's not much of a silver lining. Unlike vintage Transformers, reproduction stickers for Gobots are next to non-existent and as such it's a real risk of getting sharpie remover chemicals anywhere near them because they will fuck up those 30+ year old stickers really, really badly.

And that's before even considering the plastic quality might involve porous plastic, meaning sharpie could in fact permanently stain the plastic by seeping into it (or perhaps the chemicals used to remove the sharpie).

Knowing Chris, though? He probably thinks it's about as harmless as Woody having "Andy" written on the bottom of his foot, completely ignoring how Geri the Toy Restoration Expert (fun fact: while not named in Toy Story 2, the toy restoration expert is actually Pixar reusing the character render from their short 'Geri's Game') airbrushes over the name.

But if it does come to that, that just means we'll buy 14 Branchland and turn it into a museum.

And in the process end up driving the property values along Branchland Court back up considerably.

Also, he played Uncharted 4 and was UNGODLY bad at it and demanded people to give him 5 bucks just for passing the level.

After some rando ended up joining his game and basically doing all the work in the tutorial level, no less.

 

[jace821]

Wonder if chris will try and sell his frozen sperm on eBay next?

We’re one more collection letter away from Chris selling autographed copy paper for $25 each.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I can't believe Chris is giving hygiene advice...and hair care advice at that! This reminds me of when he had been in a "relationship" with Jessica Quinn for approximately 5 minutes and decided to give that long, rambling speech over Twitter on how to find and keep True & Honest Love.

Even if he bathed twice daily and then rubbed himself in iodine, people would never believe he was clean.

 

[Trilby]

Chris streamed a few times, but complained that he only got 80 bucks from playing destiny once.
Also, he played Uncharted 4 and was UNGODLY bad at it and demanded people to give him 5 bucks just for passing the level.

I find it rediculous Chris thinks $80 was too cheap just for playing one game.

 

[MrTroll]

I find it rediculous Chris thinks $80 was too cheap just for playing one game.

Destiny is gay as fuck, I'd want more than 80 bucks to play that shit too.

 

[johnny5150]

We’re one more collection letter away from Chris selling autographed copy paper for $25 each.

He could always sell nudes. Lol.

 

[nvrwastetree]

Oh my GOD what a dipshit.

Puzzler actually WOULD have been worth a pretty penny, and this moron is so full of himself that he legitimately just devalued it by an exponential amount by defacing it with sharpie!

As much as Gobots are a joke, seeing him deface a rather interesting piece of 80s history like that genuinely pisses me off.

EDIT: You all will probably find this amusing, but based on how the Police Car component transforms (it's the crotch) regarding its nose/hood, Chris essentially signed the robot's CROTCH.

Do you think Chris gives two shits about anyone else's feelings or how they value collectables. He says he has changed, and that he can empathize and sympathize with people, but we all know that he's lying. This right here proves it. "Oh, you want to buy something from me because it's a collectable??? Well, let me put my signature on it in permanent ink so it will be worth more." Chris doesn't care about anyone else but himself and how he is feeling. Being able to sell his shit and put his signature on it as well amaking his stupid certificate of authenticity makes him happy, and he doesn't care how you feel about anything. I'm going to laugh my ass off when someone gets mad at him for these stupid certs that he includes with everything, and said person is able to get a refund from PayPal/eBay for Chris ruining a collectable. Seriously, he thinks his signature and the certificate not only is worth more, but it adds to the value. The sad thing that Chris fails to realize is that his signature means nothing, and if anything it devalues the item. If anything, if Chris feels compelled to include his chicken scratch signature and certification with everything, the dipshit could just simply sign the certificate not the item. But the sad thing is that if a buyer requested that, he would ignore them outright because Chris is a asshole.