Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

In which Jake compares himself to Lovecraft (yes, really)

upload_2018-4-30_8-37-24.png


https://archive.li/VHmAS

I think he's talking about his cousin Bobby here (the one who died in 2004).

upload_2018-4-30_8-53-47.png


Cousin Jono was in Japan as a JET teacher from mid 2000 to mid 2003, so the timeline doesn't fit for him.

upload_2018-4-30_8-55-39.png
 
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eastlymefellow said:
Haha, no I've missed the fun of hearing Jake bawling his eyes out. A few other points:

Jake's neighborhood of Black Point in Niantic is pretty nice. It's a collection of small streets, with a mix of middle-class older houses, beach houses, nice apartments, and some very expensive looking new houses. Lots of friendly people walking dogs, jogging, and doing yard-work. Absolutely not whatever hell Jake has claimed. Plenty of rainbow flags flying throughout.

There's a pizza place a little less than one mile from his mom's house. With a help wanted sign in the window of course.

It is a little under 2 miles from his mom's house to downtown Niantic. There are plenty of upscale stores, quaint hippie stores, new-agey places, old movie theater, amazing bookstore, and more. Also plenty of chain restaurants and gas stations too. Jake's post about being in the middle of nowhere is hilarious.

Here's the house. Not much to add. It wasn't the nicest in the neighborhood but not the worst either. There was a SUV in the driveway with a Hillary Clinton sticker that I missed in the photo. Photo makes it look worse than it is.

Hope this little story and the pictures help piece together some of the Jake puzzle.
Click to expand...

I know it's about as likely as the announcement of upcoming Greer/Swift nuptials, but I hope you're either a member of Jake's family or one of the people at the "babysitting drunks" party.
 
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This is a rather interesting Googleshng. Again Jake compares his own life to that of someone else, but in this case it's an RPGamer member who committed suicide.

tl;dr is "I've got it worse than he had it" and "you should never feel guilty about mooching off people because they'd rather have you mooching than dead".

upload_2018-4-30_10-43-7.png

Here's the short form. We have a nerd who spends most of his time playing videogames and watching anime, born in the summer of 1981, still living at home, mooching off the family, but still making the contribution to society of working at RPGamer, a non-profiting but widely read gaming news site. While I never saw any reference made to the fact, evidently he was quite depressed by the fact that he was going to be mooching off his family for the forseeable future. That's it. That's the reason. Seriously not something to commit suicide over, particularly considering that statistically kids are leaving home a lot later in life these days than they used to.

What disturbs me here is how similar this situation is to my own life. Everything in the above paragraph applies to me, except presumably for the degree of being depressed about the situation. Heck, as far as I can tell, my life sucks even more. I'm a tad older, I have the incurable effects of a childhood disease keeping me out of the job market on top of any other issues, and taking a quick head count of the other recipients of this note, I have a heck of a lot less friends and family members to care about me. The bottom line though is that I don't hate being in the position I am. It's that cynical optimism I mentioned earlier.

I admit my life sucks by a lot of people's standards, sure. Most people who delve into my personal life say they'd hate to be in my shoes, I even had one person tell me he'd probably kill himself if he were, but I generally don't let it get to me. Does it bother me that I have no means of supporting myself? That I have to live off the generosity of family members? That the only money I ever have comes in birthday cards or donations from people reading this page? That my cousin has to pay 90% of the cost of my upcoming trip to Japan to go sight-seeing with him? Heck yes! I don't dwell on it though.

Instead I look at the bright side of my life as it is. I have enough free time to pursue all sorts of creative interests. My mother is so easy going and hospitable that I can live in her house without either of us bothering each other. Those people who take the time to listen to what I say generally find they like to hear my thoughts. Plus one of these days I could hit upon a means of making a ton of money from home, or the internet economy could rally itself making RPGamer profitable, and I'd be sitting pretty. It's just a question of riding out the indefinite lull.

Now then, the final point on this suicide issue. People's reactions to it. Again, this is just a question of hitting too close to home. With all the similarities here, right now I pretty much get a chance to see what the public reaction would be like to my own death. I'd imagine there'd be quite a lag before it became public knowledge. Someone would have to notice I was mysteriously absent, hunt down some contact info on a family member, recover from the shock. Then I imagine someone would throw a somber little tribute up on RPGamer, someone might think to get one thrown up here too, someone from my family would see such tributes and tear up, people would sit around in an uncomfortable silence for a week or two, make morbid speeches, and then move on. Depressing thought, unless you consider the fact that when you die your ego goes with you, so there's not much reason to concern yourself with how long it takes people to cope.

https://archive.li/J3zR8
 
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Kosher Dill said:
Updated The Googleshng with date tags for as many entries as I could conveniently look up (he makes a lot of holiday/birthday and convention posts so it's easy to get some "guideposts")
Search for // to see "comments" with dates in them.

Incidentally, if you search for "school", the last time he mentions being in school himself is 1999. He probably did finish high school and then never went on to college.
Click to expand...
Jake has been using "yon" since at least 2001. :story:
==87== // June 2001
Belated Birthday Blatherings
This rant really should have gone up on June 9th, which was my birthday. I had this Slime World all set to go, a reader sent me the perfect scary pic, and I didn't have anything else to do that day. Unfortunately, two days before my birthday, a REALLY unpleasant chain of events started to unfold.
First and foremost, my cat died. Granted, he was my oldest, granted, I saw it coming a couple months away, but that's still a very depressing event. Then I found out my aunt was hospitalized with a bizzare neurological condition (which I believe turned out to just be one of the nastier varieties of Lyme Disease) and then of course my birthday itself came around and I had nothing to show for it except a copy of Shadow of the Hegemon (part of a very good series). So, suffice it to say that I was not at all in the mood to post a rant that day.
While I have all you're sympathy I suppose I should mention that yon page full of cheesy merchandise is currently selling the mousepads for $5 off, since you'll be jealous by the time you finish reading this page.
Click to expand...

eastlymefellow said:
Haha, no I've missed the fun of hearing Jake bawling his eyes out. A few other points:

Jake's neighborhood of Black Point in Niantic is pretty nice. It's a collection of small streets, with a mix of middle-class older houses, beach houses, nice apartments, and some very expensive looking new houses. Lots of friendly people walking dogs, jogging, and doing yard-work. Absolutely not whatever hell Jake has claimed. Plenty of rainbow flags flying throughout.

There's a pizza place a little less than one mile from his mom's house. With a help wanted sign in the window of course.

It is a little under 2 miles from his mom's house to downtown Niantic. There are plenty of upscale stores, quaint hippie stores, new-agey places, old movie theater, amazing bookstore, and more. Also plenty of chain restaurants and gas stations too. Jake's post about being in the middle of nowhere is hilarious.

Here's the house. Not much to add. It wasn't the nicest in the neighborhood but not the worst either. There was a SUV in the driveway with a Hillary Clinton sticker that I missed in the photo. Photo makes it look worse than it is.

Hope this little story and the pictures help piece together some of the Jake puzzle.
Click to expand...
Too bad we can't magically throw Jake out of his gnome hole and let someone more deserving get that job at the pizzeria and enjoy living a stone's throw away from the ocean.
Upload of the house image.
jake's house.png
​
Did you see the anti-fireman tranny mailbox?
upload_2018-4-29_20-48-45.png



http://archive.li/jP1Oo
upload_2018-4-29_20-32-40.png

http://archive.li/5YHA1#selection-9325.0-10162.1
upload_2018-4-29_20-29-27.png

upload_2018-4-29_20-30-9.png

http://archive.is/KJJb0#selection-265.269-269.1
upload_2018-4-29_20-38-34.png

https://archive.li/GNV7o
upload_2018-4-29_20-50-55.png

https://archive.li/oMUaD#selection-8463.211-8825.125
upload_2018-4-29_20-46-59.png

https://archive.li/pYR8F#selection-4357.244-4711.109
upload_2018-4-29_20-47-35.png

Oh no, Jake thinks he can do stand up comedy. http://archive.li/HGLgI
upload_2018-4-29_20-38-4.png

[28/12/2014, 1:30:50 PM] Secret Gamer Girl: I mean, I'm obviously not bragging, but I kinda can't not have a beard
[28/12/2014, 1:30:56 PM] SF: I was in my mid 20s sounding like a 13 year old trying to sound older.
[28/12/2014, 1:31:25 PM] Peter Coffin: oh I am hairy as hell. just kind of limp in movement, people hate it
[28/12/2014, 1:31:30 PM] Secret Gamer Girl: takes other people like 2 weeks if not a month to get what I do in a day
​
[02/01/2015, 4:59:24 PM] Secret Gamer Girl: but, granted, that IS advice from someone sitting in a room using unsold boardgames as makeshift insulation
[02/01/2015, 5:00:09 PM] Secret Gamer Girl: I've got like 700 of the things, pushed up against drafty windows they do the job pretty well

[28/12/2014, 2:35:52 PM] Secret Gamer Girl: my game I'm using as insulation because I suck at self-promotion is technically competetive, but it's so darn asymetrical and goofy I don't see anyone ever getting into a tournament mindset over it​

repentance said:
In which Jake compares himself to Lovecraft (yes, really)

View attachment 438136

https://archive.li/VHmAS

I think he's talking about his cousin Bobby here (the one who died in 2004).

View attachment 438153

Cousin Jono was in Japan as a JET teacher from mid 2000 to mid 2003, so the timeline doesn't fit for him.

View attachment 438155
Click to expand...
Jake told the anti-GG/CON chat he lived in "Lovecraft Country."
[02/01/2015, 6:54:38 AM] Secret Gamer Girl: I just heard what I swear sounded like a dog-sized cicada land on the wall crawl around the corner and leave a little bit ago. I don't know if it was some weird broken stereo in someone's car or actually that or what. If someone else didn't hear it too I'd just figure I was going insane.
[02/01/2015, 6:55:08 AM] Athena Hollow: lol
[02/01/2015, 6:55:42 AM] Athena Hollow: god now i'm terrorized with images of 'dog sized cicadas' in my head
[02/01/2015, 6:55:45 AM] Athena Hollow: THANKS SGG
[02/01/2015, 6:56:52 AM] Rob: :d
[02/01/2015, 6:57:09 AM] Secret Gamer Girl: Eh, I live in Lovecraft Country. If they exist they're local
Click to expand...

@repentance Jake started chimping out on New Year's 2015, look how despicable the final line here is. What a piece of shit since he claims this was his "little brother" for asspats on Twitter.

[01/01/2015, 4:40:24 PM] Secret Gamer Girl: also gee, the worst person I've ever met is passed out on my couch. I sure do love holidays where people get drunk and wander around
[01/01/2015, 5:27:51 PM] Secret Gamer Girl: OK, this is really, really not a good night on my end.
[01/01/2015, 5:30:32 PM] SF: Any way we can help?
[01/01/2015, 5:32:13 PM] Sarah, Butt-er of the Butts: what's going on, SGG?
[01/01/2015, 5:32:57 PM] Secret Gamer Girl: Can you end GG overnight, somehow get a passed out violent psycho out of my house, or make a member of my family stop crying and loudly discussing every little detail of another member of my family?
[01/01/2015, 5:42:30 PM] Secret Gamer Girl: Eh, just an issue of hey, I was already having a lousy night, didn't really need to feel physically unsafe, emotionally gut-punched, and concerned about someone's possible drinking problem on top of that.
[01/01/2015, 5:48:05 PM] SF: No kidding...I'm really sorry to hear.
[01/01/2015, 5:54:37 PM] Secret Gamer Girl: And it's extra awkward because I can't really head into the other room and go "Hey, could you not start blubbering about ______ not living to see 20 while I'm shaken up about some trans girl killing herself over stuff I'm also kinda dealing with in part due to transphobia being your one big character flaw?"
Click to expand...
 
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Jake is claiming he has a trans neighbour? I'm sure he has a ton of excuses for why he cant befriend them.

Hellfire said:
@repentance Jake started chimping out on New Year's 2015, look how despicable the final line here is. What a piece of shit since he claims this was his "little brother" for asspats on Twitter.
Click to expand...

Jake was 34 when he wrote that. He can't even use the self-absorption and insensitivity of youth as an excuse.
 
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repentance said:
Jake is claiming he has a trans neighbour? I'm sure he has a ton of excuses for why he cant befriend them.
Click to expand...
Nah, it's the neighbor of the person who (supposedly) told him this story.

I'm going through for maybe one more pass on cleaning up the text dump, and I found the titles of the "lost episodes" in the index page: https://archive.li/BnGhQ
#21: Vacation
Googleshng's Highlights: "Startup screen"


#39: The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
Googleshng's Highlights: "Terry Gilliam's trilogy"

#76: Art
Googleshng's Highlights: "Works of Art, Ascii Art, Artsiness"

#80: Webcomics
Googleshng's Highlights: "Webcomics, Merchandise"

#84: Happy New Year!
Googleshng's Highlights: "Daylight Savings Time, creepy coincidence"

#110: The Technicolor Dreamcoke
Googleshng's Highlights: "Flawed experiments in soda, tennis."

#147: Underworld
Googleshng's Highlights: "Clearing up the conflicting reports about a pretty nerdy movie."

Sounds like we didn't miss much. Next up: has anyone seen Jake's begging lists?

Old (no later than August 2002): https://archive.li/gyAOK
New, because he apparently got everything on the old list: https://archive.li/gGHkH
He really needed a pinball machine, folks.

EDIT: also, here's his review of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch": https://archive.li/llT4J
Even though he literally has an "angry inch" of his own, he has absolutely nothing to say about the movie.
 
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Jake reads so many accounts of other people doing HRT he imagines himself to be some sort of expert capable of giving advice on the subject. It's like his own life is some kind of transition fanfiction.

EDIT: Jake's also lying about there being no public transit in Niantic. It's only available Monday to Friday, and the nearest stop is about half an hour away. That's not nothing, and there's a bus stop right at the nearest grocery store. Jake will act like this is an immense hardship, but hundreds of thousands of working-class Americans had to get on a bus for half an hour, buy their groceries, take them on shitty public transit and then walk back half an hour, just today. Welcome to the world below the middle class, Jake.

Most idiot teenagers who start out with that perma-NEET attitude Jake manifested with his "I'm a mooch and I don't feel bad" post quickly realize how humiliating it is to have to ask people for rides everywhere. Then when some shit really hits the fan, they realize that not having money, plus having worn out your goodwill with everyone you know can result in major negative consequences to relationships and opportunities.

Jake still hasn't added up that it's his idiot's version of pride - the kind that says there's more dignity in living at home dependent on the goodwill of others than there is in doing work, any work, to make some contribution - that is destroying his chance to relate to other human beings.

By his age, almost every person, even people with significant intellectual or physical disabilities, has held down part or full-time work for longer than he has. Almost every person, even people severely disabled enough for government benefits, has had to budget for their own food and bills on the money they receive. At this point, the only people Jake can relate to in a life-experience way are teenagers, no matter how much he pretends to have years of journalism experience. It's why his friendships keep dissolving whenever people find out more about him. It's not the beard, or even the BO. It's the depressing perma-reality of Harlan Ellison's "Jeffty is Five," but with a forever-teenager who's both workshy and loveshy instead of a five-year-old kid.
 
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repentance said:
This is a rather interesting Googleshng. Again Jake compares his own life to that of someone else, but in this case it's an RPGamer member who committed suicide.

tl;dr is "I've got it worse than he had it" and "you should never feel guilty about mooching of people because they'd rather have you mooching than dead".

View attachment 438259

Here's the short form. We have a nerd who spends most of his time playing videogames and watching anime, born in the summer of 1981, still living at home, mooching off the family, but still making the contribution to society of working at RPGamer, a non-profiting but widely read gaming news site. While I never saw any reference made to the fact, evidently he was quite depressed by the fact that he was going to be mooching off his family for the forseeable future. That's it. That's the reason. Seriously not something to commit suicide over, particularly considering that statistically kids are leaving home a lot later in life these days than they used to.

What disturbs me here is how similar this situation is to my own life. Everything in the above paragraph applies to me, except presumably for the degree of being depressed about the situation. Heck, as far as I can tell, my life sucks even more. I'm a tad older, I have the incurable effects of a childhood disease keeping me out of the job market on top of any other issues, and taking a quick head count of the other recipients of this note, I have a heck of a lot less friends and family members to care about me. The bottom line though is that I don't hate being in the position I am. It's that cynical optimism I mentioned earlier.

I admit my life sucks by a lot of people's standards, sure. Most people who delve into my personal life say they'd hate to be in my shoes, I even had one person tell me he'd probably kill himself if he were, but I generally don't let it get to me. Does it bother me that I have no means of supporting myself? That I have to live off the generosity of family members? That the only money I ever have comes in birthday cards or donations from people reading this page? That my cousin has to pay 90% of the cost of my upcoming trip to Japan to go sight-seeing with him? Heck yes! I don't dwell on it though.

Instead I look at the bright side of my life as it is. I have enough free time to pursue all sorts of creative interests. My mother is so easy going and hospitable that I can live in her house without either of us bothering each other. Those people who take the time to listen to what I say generally find they like to hear my thoughts. Plus one of these days I could hit upon a means of making a ton of money from home, or the internet economy could rally itself making RPGamer profitable, and I'd be sitting pretty. It's just a question of riding out the indefinite lull.

Now then, the final point on this suicide issue. People's reactions to it. Again, this is just a question of hitting too close to home. With all the similarities here, right now I pretty much get a chance to see what the public reaction would be like to my own death. I'd imagine there'd be quite a lag before it became public knowledge. Someone would have to notice I was mysteriously absent, hunt down some contact info on a family member, recover from the shock. Then I imagine someone would throw a somber little tribute up on RPGamer, someone might think to get one thrown up here too, someone from my family would see such tributes and tear up, people would sit around in an uncomfortable silence for a week or two, make morbid speeches, and then move on. Depressing thought, unless you consider the fact that when you die your ego goes with you, so there's not much reason to concern yourself with how long it takes people to cope.

https://archive.li/J3zR8
Click to expand...

Wow. I particularly love this part.

Does it bother me that I have no means of supporting myself? That I have to live off the generosity of family members? That the only money I ever have comes in birthday cards or donations from people reading this page? That my cousin has to pay 90% of the cost of my upcoming trip to Japan to go sight-seeing with him? Heck yes!
Click to expand...

It bothers me, but not enough to do a damn thing to change it for the next fifteen years!

I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone sound so satisfied rationalizing leeching off family members before. I guess the “they’d rather support my ass then me commit suicide” has helped Jake sleep soundly for his entire adult life.

I’m getting the idea that Jake has used suicide as both a way to rationalize his lifestyle as well as a tool of manipulation and guilt.

I wonder when Jake will discover his old year book photo has been posted and start reeeeeing about Nazis stalking him in the most convoluted terms possible. He can acknowledge he’s big, hairy, bearded dude to get pity from Pazio Jess on twitter, but he’s certainly not the big, hairy, bearded dude named Jack Alley in those photos on the nazi forum!!
 
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jake_hope1.png


It's a misplaced hope Jake. You are obese so you will not see any facial fat redistribution. Also a wig and make-up are doing lots of work here:

jake_hope2.png


jake_hope3.png


The eyebrows are in need of plucking and there is what appears to be stubble under the make-up. But well-done for making an effort to present as female. Jake can't summon the motivation to even shave off his filthy wizard/hobo beard.
 
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CyrusKissFanClub said:
View attachment 438391

It's a misplaced hope Jake. You are obese so you will not see any facial fat redistribution. Also a wig and make-up are doing lots of work here:

View attachment 438392

View attachment 438393

The eyebrows are in need of plucking and there is what appears to be stubble under the make-up. But well-done for making an effort to present as female. Jake can't summon the motivation to even shave off his filthy wizard/hobo beard.
Click to expand...

I wonder how much time Jake spent about the time, effort and money she spent funding her transition and what his "hopes" are concerning that.
 
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