- Joined
- Mar 29, 2018
Boy, you're tellin' me.
I can't say this enough but don't mention brand names. We don't need people having to ask their Grandma for context. It's not Petsmart. It's the pet supply store. It's not ULTA, it's a beauty retailer. It's not Barnes & Noble, it's a dying bookstore chain-- emphasizing the point that these stores can be gone from memory in the near future. Nobody is going to know what Youtube is or, chances are, who E.L. James is either. (and why are you referencing sales of 50 Shades in a book supposedly for youths?) These are really the basics and I'm shocked that she has never heard this.
Yeah, probably because it's not a library. They don't like it when you do that.
Proofreading: none
I had to read the following about four or five times to even understand it.
She had to drop the details about her current and former appearance, AND the location of photographs showcasing that appearance...right here. Smack in the middle of this sentence.
And how does Rachael know that something in a language she's never heard before, with as many syllables as "Raleigh, North Carolina" is just one word? What?
Also, "[Movie reference] wait no [other book reference] is way scarier, lets go with that" is not a thought process you should type out for us. She does this again later. "...a James Wan flick, or perhaps something more arcane."
They're still in the bookstore.
![:\](/styles/custom/emotes/svg/chris-confused.svg "Confused :\")
??? I share @Peanut 's confusion. They're already lesbians. Does she genuinely think this is a concern to anyone but the tiny percentage of gold stars out there?
Aside from the childish reference to cool dinos, if she really wanted to be smart, she could have called it a “thagomizer”, but I guess that's not as easy of a word to google as versimilitude. When she does use "big words" they're so badly juxtaposed with her middle school writing it feels like reading atheist fanfiction. I also like how this pointy guy is somehow totally horrific...but there's no real hideous features about it. He's just pointy. Is Lovecraft too ugly for her to steal more than just mythos from? (Later you find this really is just a Lovecraft fanfiction.)
Why is a lovecraftian horror culturally appropriating Zapotec? And why does a ~kweer~ like Valencia care about god loving her? She then has to point out that her story is TOTALLY NOT following a horror cliche.
...and your viewers are your dumb, dumb sheep!
She could do with some of this explaining when she mentions all her pop culture sp00ps. Every time she mentions them it's written that nobody will understand what she's talking about unless they've seen/read that media. How long before not everybody knows what the fuck a Sauron is? Actually, she says Santiago would have "remarked its similarity" to Sauron, but then immediately says it's "however, not like the work of fiction." Is it like Sauron, or is it not like Sauron?This is followed by mere mortals yelling down an ancient deity and saying they get enough shit for being trans, as if he knows or cares what that is.
Valencia then laments that Santiago isn't old enough for her to fuck. So...she is like that. Ending on a great and totally not pedophilic note.
