DSP's scholastic journey from valedictorian to boiling ramen in a keurig and eating it with a spoon - "Look at this. It's empty. There's no brain. Did you lose it somewhere?"

[Forbidden Math]

This is just a reminder that the valedictorian is the best boot licker, not the smartest student. Not hard to imagine Phil being a real teacher's pet.

 

[White Devil's Advocate]

Even the mightiest titans fall one day, and Phil is no exception. Then again, that would imply that Phil was a titan in some shape or form.

Does being a titan at ragequtting count?

 

[ReentryPhantom]

>...boiling ramen in a keurig and eating it with a spoon

Perhaps the Home Ec program was shit?

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

>...boiling ramen in a keurig and eating it with a spoon

Perhaps the Home Ec program was shit?

He's too poor for an electric kettle and some chopsticks.

 

[Haunter]

@Sparkletor This is prolly soooooper dum, but exactly how did your contact at the school spell Phil's name?

He signs his name with only one L in "Philip"

 

[millais]

The ramen-keurig-spoon debacle was surely the end result of pure laziness and lack of preparation on his part rather than any overt stupidity. He needed to shit out a DSP Tries It vid in a few minutes between streams and couldn't be assed to put it on hold long enough to get an electric kettle and a fork/chopsticks.

 

[Zaryiu]

Honestly, I think that Phil's state of mediocrity and misery fits in quite well with him being a school Valedictorian.

Most Valedictorians live mediocre and boring lives. A good article on the subject:

https://www.cnbc.com/2017/05/24/what-happened-to-your-class-valedictorian-probably-not-much.html



Phil pretty much spent his life in High School working hard and regurgitating information on command. You don't become get there by being inventive or creative. You get there by doing everything you are told on command like a trained monkey. Creativity, intellect, or inventiveness are not even a part of the equation. Compliance, discipline, and hard work are all you need.

It sums up his channel. He just pumps out videos on a timed basis to meet Youtube's standards with no polish, charm or creativity to meet his quota like a good little trained monkey. If anything, Phil being a Valedictorian explains a lot.

So Phil also lost discipline then

 

[Waveysauce]

I did coffee maker ramen, but I was never enough of a douche to buy a Keurig. That shit's overpriced if you drink more than one cup of coffee at a time. And I drink it by the pot.

thats another thong he cant even cook basic shit. he fucked up a simple ramen cup and thats just off the top my head. he can make like 2 things

 

[Feline Darkmage]

Even the mightiest titans fall one day, and Phil is no exception. Then again, that would imply that Phil was a titan in some shape or form.

His weight is increasingly titanic, as is the amount of gout in his body.

 

[Sparkletor]

@Sparkletor This is prolly soooooper dum, but exactly how did your contact at the school spell Phil's name?

He signs his name with only one L in "Philip"

View attachment 535206

They said "Philip Burnell"

 

[George Beorge]

So Phil is exceptional at memorizing and repeating information? The school system doesn't exactly test problem solving skills or anything.

 

[Wurstbrot]

So Phil is exceptional at memorizing and repeating information? The school system doesn't exactly test problem solving skills or anything.

Basically, train the students to repeat what the teachers tell you without questioning? In a religious school? Sounds quite logical, reduces the professionalism of this school even further. So I assume Dave is not religious if he decided to not memorize any of that specific lecture, even so he yells OH MA GAHD every few minutes.

I'm not sure if the narrative of his valedictorian achievement crumbles down through your people's experience with this subject. Or if we all came to the conclusion being a valedictorian isn't that great if Phil can achieve it.
I guess parts of both worlds.

 

[Kosher Dill]

And in conclusion, Phil is still a cultural virgin.

 

[This+]

My guess is he actually did try in high school to get into Yale or some other nearby Ivy League college. Unfortunately, you have to be pretty extraordinary to get into one and Phil didn't cut it possibly due to his lack of extracurriculars or anything of importance. He might have just purely focused on academics which isn't what those universities look for. He also did rather mediocre in his SAT/ACT but I guess he banked on his GPA carrying him through. (Fun fact, standardized test scores are better weighted than your GPA, as schools have too much variables while SAT/ACT are administered the same nationwide.)

Maybe his weightlifting team story is true and he was athletic to a degree, but even then you'd have to at least place in state rankings for that to start mattering.

Phil is also a half-decent writer from what I've read on his forum posts or twitter or whatever, when he's not busy sperging out on random shit. He has a relatively solid grasp on grammar and uses a fair bit of SAT vocabulary which is probably holdover from his Junior year when he studied for it. I still see bigger youtubers and streamers (American, mind you) who can't get the difference between "it's" vs. "its," and who actually believe "should of"/"could of" is grammatically correct. The reason why I'm saying this is that part of the essay portions on college admissions test your writing skills. My guess is that while Phil demonstrated that he is a good writer in his essay, he most likely suffered in his creativity or content of the essay, which is a definite negative to admission reviewers.

To make a long story short, it's very likely that Phil only focused on his grades and not so much in anything else. Him being a valedictorian is still notable no matter how small/shitty the school is, but college admissions, especially Ivy Leagues like Yale, Princeton, Harvard, etc. have holistic standards meaning they look at the overall student potential rather than pure academics/athletics. He got rejected and settled for a "lesser" university, and that's where his laziness and complacency started developing.

 

[Commander Keen]

My guess is he actually did try in high school to get into Yale or some other nearby Ivy League college. Unfortunately, you have to be pretty extraordinary to get into one and Phil didn't cut it possibly due to his lack of extracurriculars or anything of importance. He might have just purely focused on academics which isn't what those universities look for. He also did rather mediocre in his SAT/ACT but I guess he banked on his GPA carrying him through. (Fun fact, standardized test scores are better weighted than your GPA, as schools have too much variables while SAT/ACT are administered the same nationwide.)

Maybe his weightlifting team story is true and he was athletic to a degree, but even then you'd have to at least place in state rankings for that to start mattering.

Phil is also a half-decent writer from what I've read on his forum posts or twitter or whatever, when he's not busy sperging out on random shit. He has a relatively solid grasp on grammar and uses a fair bit of SAT vocabulary which is probably holdover from his Junior year when he studied for it. I still see bigger youtubers and streamers (American, mind you) who can't get the difference between "it's" vs. "its," and who actually believe "should of"/"could of" is grammatically correct. The reason why I'm saying this is that part of the essay portions on college admissions test your writing skills. My guess is that while Phil demonstrated that he is a good writer in his essay, he most likely suffered in his creativity or content of the essay, which is a definite negative to admission reviewers.

To make a long story short, it's very likely that Phil only focused on his grades and not so much in anything else. Him being a valedictorian is still notable no matter how small/shitty the school is, but college admissions, especially Ivy Leagues like Yale, Princeton, Harvard, etc. have holistic standards meaning they look at the overall student potential rather than pure academics/athletics. He got rejected and settled for a "lesser" university, and that's where his laziness and complacency started developing.

He went to a catholic university, he probably was autoadmitted from his catholic high school with a nice scholarship check. Why he didn’t go to UConn perplexes me, since UConn is a national school and isn’t hard to get into.

 

[Sparkletor]

Doesn't a valedictorian need to be "book smart", one of the many insults Dave lobs at YouTube and Google employees?

 

[Feline Darkmage]

Doesn't a valedictorian need to be "book smart", one of the many insults Dave lobs at YouTube and Google employees?

Phil Burnell, Street Valedictorian

 

[This+]

He went to a catholic university, he probably was autoadmitted from his catholic high school with a nice scholarship check. Why he didn’t go to UConn perplexes me, since UConn is a national school and isn’t hard to get into.

Yeah, anyone with a brain who wants to stay in-state would have picked UConn. They're easy to get into, has more clout, and more people know about it. He might have heard from his dad or someone else that Fairfield has a good business major with lots of connections. Unfortunately for him it seems like all he did was go to class and stay in his dorm all day instead of joining a business major frat or something like that, as he makes absolutely zero mention of his colleagues.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

The more I think about this story, the more I start to wonder: what if being valedictorian was what caused Phil to go down a bad path in life? It sounds stupid, but think about Phil's past. We see how things like winning that gaming competition or being a success on YouTube caused him to develop a huge ego. Perhaps becoming valedictorian was the first thing to fuel his ego.

He goes off to college after having this major accomplishment. He starts out okay, but proceeds to get lost in the more "fun" aspects of being a college student. He develops several bad traits that continue to shine to this day. He doesn't think twice about it because no one gives him a wake up call and his ego is already getting in the way of things. Then as an adult he finds success on YouTube and has that one competition victory. His ego starts to swell even more, and it causes all the other negative personality traits that he developed to swell as well.

Perhaps teenage Phil wasn't that bad of a person. He had some personality flaws, but they weren't so bad. He was hard working, in better shape and actually participating in hobbies that were good for him. Graduating as a valedictorian was the first true step down a bad path in life.

 

[actually]

Perhaps teenage Phil wasn't that bad of a person. He had some personality flaws, but they weren't so bad. He was hard working, in better shape and actually participating in hobbies that were good for him. Graduating as a valedictorian was the first true step down a bad path in life.

How far back do his Shoryuken posts go? Cause from all the ones I've seen, he was a shit-talking asshole then too, but maybe that still falls after/in college or something.