DSP's scholastic journey from valedictorian to boiling ramen in a keurig and eating it with a spoon - "Look at this. It's empty. There's no brain. Did you lose it somewhere?"

[Wurstbrot]

The more I think about this story, the more I start to wonder: what if being valedictorian was what caused Phil to go down a bad path in life? It sounds stupid, but think about Phil's past. We see how things like winning that gaming competition or being a success on YouTube caused him to develop a huge ego. Perhaps becoming valedictorian was the first thing to fuel his ego.

He goes off to college after having this major accomplishment. He starts out okay, but proceeds to get lost in the more "fun" aspects of being a college student. He develops several bad traits that continue to shine to this day. He doesn't think twice about it because no one gives him a wake up call and his ego is already getting in the way of things. Then as an adult he finds success on YouTube and has that one competition victory. His ego starts to swell even more, and it causes all the other negative personality traits that he developed to swell as well.

Perhaps teenage Phil wasn't that bad of a person. He had some personality flaws, but they weren't so bad. He was hard working, in better shape and actually participating in hobbies that were good for him. Graduating as a valedictorian was the first true step down a bad path in life.

Changing people's personalities doesn't happen suddenly unless his brain got literally drilled with a rusty spoon during his speech. Or if he absorbed a ton of brain altering chemicals, just like Cosmo/Narcissa. For example if he drank some kind of medication cocktail... huh.

Joke aside, he was always a rotten brat. His memory of not getting a Wolverine toy is just as fresh as his memory of the valedictorian speech or his 1st, eh, 4th place at Evo. If we wait longer we can probably get a story of how he couldn't blahwk his own birth.

He has a great memory if he's confronted with ego influencing situations, suddenly he can recall a bunch of useless informations every other person would just have forgotten. However, if this speech would be so important it would have changed his life, he would have come with it much earlier. Probably in a way like:
Guys, for my business I have to make a lot of decisions you might not like. But they are important, I know that because I was an excellent student, I did a valedictorian speech in front of everything and people applauded and thanked me, thank you, really thank you, and bowed right where they stood and then they tipped me bits, excuse me, invested their money into my business because I make a lot of sense.

So I do think it boosted his ego. But the kickstart happened way earlier.

 

[Kermit the Frog]

Considering how academically weak the school is, I guess it shouldn't be too much of a surprise he actually was valedictorian. It shows that Phil is that guy who peaked in high school. I mean, every single story he tells about his life takes place during Phil's teens or early 20's. Phil is a competitive person, and he probably had his parents pushing him to succeed. For whatever reason, Phil convinced himself he could get into an Ivy League university based on his grades alone, and when that didn't happen he just said "fuck this dood" and went to whatever no name school was nearby as a formality to please his parents. He could have easily gone to UConn, a university with some national name recognition, and try to make the best of it, but he felt entitled to everything and gave up when the first obstacle appeared. Just like with his gaming career, completely entitled to being the most popular and successful, but doesn't want to actually do anything different when the circumstances change because he's convinced himself he does nothing wrong.

 

[Commander Keen]

https://www.google.com/amp/www.cour...boys-basketball-final-20180318-story,amp.html

Perfect season in basketball. State title.

Phil was valedictorian at a school where kids go to play basketball, not play school. A cursory search produced tons of highlights of kids dunking on fools left and right.

Edit: they had a kid graduate this year who was one of the top recruits in the state and going to Manhattan. The kid is 5’7” and has a ton of highlight videos with thousands of views. Goddamn Mugsy Bogues balling hard, he was breaking white boys’ ankles left and right.

 

[BrunoMattei]

https://www.google.com/amp/www.cour...boys-basketball-final-20180318-story,amp.html

Perfect season in basketball. State title.

Phil was valedictorian at a school where kids go to play basketball, not play school. A cursory search produced tons of highlights of kids dunking on fools left and right.

Edit: they had a kid graduate this year who was one of the top recruits in the state and going to Manhattan. The kid is 5’7” and has a ton of highlight videos with thousands of views. Goddamn Mugsy Bogues balling hard, he was breaking white boys’ ankles left and right.

So once again this faggot was the victim of dumb luck.

 

[Ruthless54]

So that wrestling promo of a validvictoran speech he cut was real?

 

[harbinger]

So that wrestling promo of a validvictoran speech he cut was real?

There’s a recording of the valedictorian speech?

 

[Prince Lotor]

So that wrestling promo of a validvictoran speech he cut was real?

It seems likely he actually gave that REEtarded speech

There’s a recording of the valedictorian speech?

No, according to Dave in the year 2000 no one had camcorders because only the richest people had them. Ignore that he went to a Private School. The school he went to was so shitty apparently they didn't even have 1 video camera to record the fucking Graduation Ceremony. Here is his gin-addled, NPD tinged recollection of it. This from a man-child whose favorite topics are anal penetration and uncontrollable shitting, who seems delightfully amused & fascinated when shown a penis.

 

[sperginity]

There’s a recording of the valedictorian speech?

God I hope not, I have a feeling he was a normal high schooler and completely squandered all his potential with poor choices and egotism. It would probably feel like when I saw a picture of Ted Cruz as a college freshman. He looked normal back then, some poor woman married that face, and it has since morphed into a terrifying goblin man. Downward spirals of that sort aren't very entertaining to watch, it's depressing.

 

[Commander Keen]

God I hope not, I have a feeling he was a normal high schooler and completely squandered all his potential with poor choices and egotism. It would probably feel like when I saw a picture of Ted Cruz as a college freshman. He looked normal back then, some poor woman married that face, and it has since morphed into a terrifying goblin man. Downward spirals of that sort aren't very entertaining to watch, it's depressing.

Nigga, are you comparing Ted Cruz to DSP? A fucking presidential candidate and current senator to a fat 36 year old dude with an outdated goatee who panhandles for a living?

 

[actually]

Nigga, are you comparing Ted Cruz to DSP? A fucking presidential candidate and current senator to a fat 36 year old dude with an outdated goatee who panhandles for a living?

To be fair, they're both widely loathed by people who are supposed to be their colleagues (and potential friends) and have attracted a large detractor crowd.

 

[millais]

The Wolverine incident seems to indicate he was something of a bad apple from even his childhood days. By highschool, I'm sure he was already beginning to morph into something closely resembling the Phil we know today.

 

[sperginity]

Nigga, are you comparing Ted Cruz to DSP? A fucking presidential candidate and current senator to a fat 36 year old dude with an outdated goatee who panhandles for a living?

I'm comparing Ted Cruz's face to DSP's potential

Spoiler: Seems fair

 

[WeeblesWobble]

It seems likely he actually gave that REEtarded speech

Just like his cahmentary, he basically states the obvious and puts it out there as some profound shit. Holy shit, that was fucking horrible.

Anyway, I'm kind of surprised by it being true, but at the same time I'm not...It makes sense that he peaked in high school. Most of those types do. How many star athlete, valedictorian, super popular people are now boring fucks? I realized several years ago that the majority of people that were top shit in high school lead lives that are pretty depressing now. Phil is just another in a long line of people who have gone down that path. The guy remembers the speech he gave almost 20 years ago I wonder if Phil will go to any high school reunion type stuff. I would love to hear his interpretation of how it goes down.

 

[Commander Keen]

To be fair, they're both widely loathed by people who are supposed to be their colleagues (and potential friends) and have attracted a large detractor crowd.

Anyone with a R next to their name has a large crowd of detractors waiting with baited breath for them to get busted with child porn or something.

Anyone with a D next to their name has a similarly sized crowd waiting for a similar outcome.

DSP is a jackass, but people don’t want him to be infected with HIV because of his political leanings.

 

[harbinger]

Nigga, are you comparing Ted Cruz to DSP? A fucking presidential candidate and current senator to a fat 36 year old dude with an outdated goatee who panhandles for a living?

I’d like to point out that both are middle-aged, Ted Cruz is not exactly Paul Ryan, and politicians do spend a lot of time panhandling for votes and donations. But you are correct, the esteemed Senator from Texas does not have an outdated goatee.

 

[Commander Keen]

I’d like to point out that both are middle-aged, Ted Cruz is not exactly Paul Ryan, and politicians do spend a lot of time panhandling for votes and donations. But you are correct, the esteemed Senator from Texas does not have an outdated goatee.

Phil is 36. I know the hot meme is to call 30-somethings middle aged, but you don’t hit middle age until 40s.

Unless you got money on DSP clocking out early and you’re being literal in the sense that he is closer to his death than he is to his birth.

 

[Prince Lotor]

Nigga, are you comparing Ted Cruz to DSP? A fucking presidential candidate and current senator to a fat 36 year old dude with an outdated goatee who panhandles for a living?

Considering this is what Dave looked like 14 years ago when he was 22 I find the comparison of the goblinization of their faces apt.

 

[Sparkletor]

I wonder if Phil will go to any high school reunion type stuff. I would love to hear his interpretation of how it goes down.

Is the reunion going to be at his house? If not, Dave can't go because he can't get the time off from work. Plus I don't think his foemer classmates have the super secret code to get past the gate.

If DSP's classmates want to interact with him, they can watch his stream. And if they watch the stream they better tip/sub/cheer because if they watch his content without paying him they are basically stealing.

 

[BeanBidan]

*snort* I myself am a former academic

 

[Zaryiu]

The poll could use a all of the above option since they are all good answers