The Game Oversimplification Thread - Take any game and intentionally make it sound boring

You play as a middle aged mustached man in an FPS where your enemies range from Neo-Nazis to Serbs and you can decapitate them and dismember them with gunshots.

Soldier of Fortune.
 
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Soldier of Fortune.
Yes.

You get thrown in a prison colony and now you try to find a way to escape.

You're a bald dude on a quest to get his shit back and the world was fucked by a meteor that turned it into a post-apocalyptic hell-hole with only a small part of it being green thanks to people larping as magic warriors.

A journalist recounts events about people beating the shit out of each other.

You dance to help people overcome obstacles in their life.
 
1. Saving the galaxy while boning literally everything that moves
2. Memes: The FPS
3. Fighting monsters while boning every random chick you meet
4. Thrown off a boat into a gigantic clusterfuck until you eventually kill off the gods
5. It turns out you're the reason the world is ending because you and your buddy couldn't keep their curiosity under wraps and opened a box
 
1. Saving the galaxy while boning literally everything that moves
2. Memes: The FPS
3. Fighting monsters while boning every random chick you meet
4. Thrown off a boat into a gigantic clusterfuck until you eventually kill off the gods
5. It turns out you're the reason the world is ending because you and your buddy couldn't keep their curiosity under wraps and opened a box

1. Mass Effect

2. Garry's Mod?

3. Witcher

Not sure about the others.

Slumlord Simulator 1997.
 
Borderlands?
Yes.
1. You and your buddies fight to save the clown princess
2. I used to be an adventurer like you....
3. Space Magic, amnesia, and a relic of an era before the company was snatched up by a black hole
4. A great game until the devs added microtransactions, adopted a scorched-earth policy with its fans, and generally stuck their heads up their asses.
 
Yes.
1. You and your buddies fight to save the clown princess
2. I used to be an adventurer like you....
3. Space Magic, amnesia, and a relic of an era before the company was snatched up by a black hole
4. A great game until the devs added microtransactions, adopted a scorched-earth policy with its fans, and generally stuck their heads up their asses.

1. Fuck me if I know.

2. Aha! It's not Skyrim, is it. It's that one where you hand out the quests? The Quest Giver, or something, in which you're a retired adventurer?

3. Was gonna say Mass Effect but it's not, it's something else that EA bought and fucked into the ground. Wing Commander?

4. All "AAA" titles ever?
 
1. Fuck me if I know.

2. Aha! It's not Skyrim, is it. It's that one where you hand out the quests? The Quest Giver, or something, in which you're a retired adventurer?

3. Was gonna say Mass Effect but it's not, it's something else that EA bought and fucked into the ground. Wing Commander?

4. All "AAA" titles ever?
2. is Skyrim. I was surprised no one made the meme yet.
You're really close on 3, but it's a bit older than Mass Effect.
Maybe I should give a bit more info on 4. At one point it was one of the most popular games on Steam and has a metric fuckton of DLC.
 
2. is Skyrim. I was surprised no one made the meme yet.
You're really close on 3, but it's a bit older than Mass Effect.
Maybe I should give a bit more info on 4. At one point it was one of the most popular games on Steam and has a metric fuckton of DLC.

3 must be KOTOR then. Which was also a relic of a developer before it was engulfed by the Electronic Arse.

My go.

This is how the World doth end, not with an bang, but with an bug-riddled mess, milord.
 
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