The Game Oversimplification Thread - Take any game and intentionally make it sound boring

Ginger Piglet said:
3 must be KOTOR then. Which was also a relic of a developer before it was engulfed by the Electronic Arse.

My go.

This is how the World doth end, not with an bang, but with an bug-riddled mess, milord.
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Yes on KOTOR.
Also, my guess is anything Ubisoft has put out over the past 5 or so years
ETA: It's Andromeda, isn't it
 
Burning Bridge said:
Yes on KOTOR.
Also, my guess is anything Ubisoft has put out over the past 5 or so years
ETA: It's Andromeda, isn't it
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No, but the cause of death is the same. Think about the tone.

Hint: "Thy knowledge of the land shall be great," he lied.
 
Baldur's Gait said:
Ultima IX: Ascension
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Bingo. Take one well beloved series, with its rather amusing Ren Fayre come to life aesthetic, open world gameplay, and have EA eat its developer. Then rush out the last part of a carefully crafted trilogy of trilogies and blame the developer for your meddling.

Sigh. From "do it again, milord" in 1992 to "what's a paladin" in 1999.

Next one:

A deeply unlikable teenage wizard accidentally saves the world even though he's a SMEGHEAD.
 
You save your daughter, only to realize that life sucks, and nothing matters.
 
You travel to the sun and fuse with your waifu so you can tell god to fuck off
 
Burning Bridge said:
4. A great game until the devs added microtransactions, adopted a scorched-earth policy with its fans, and generally stuck their heads up their asses.
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Grand Theft Auto V


God and a kid's epic quest to... Change a lightbulb.
 
As people guess correctly I'll just edit this and put down why I described it like I did so as to not be confusing.

1. Time-traveling alien wears hats. Correct: @Brahmin Baron A Hat in Time
Main character switches between powers by switching hats and travels in a spaceship that is fueled by time-distorting hourglasses. Since the world she traverses is not her own, she's alien to it.

2. A blue shell is the spawn of Satan. Correct: @rabo Mario Kart
Fuck the blue shell. It is an item that seeks the first player and hits them and is almost impossible to avoid, and some games also straight up require you to not get hit by them to gain full ranking.

3. Dude obsessed with eating animals destroys super-tank. Correct: @Baldur's Gait Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
Main character is tasked with destroying 'Shagohod,' an armored vehicle with nuclear armaments. He traverses the jungle with minimal supplies and eats wildlife for sustenance, and a lot of the support calls have a running gag of him being obsessed with knowing what the animals he catches taste like.

4. Backpacker saves San Francisco. Time's up: Shadow Complex
Protagonist is backpacking with some lady he recently met who is actually a secret agent, underground is a complex used by an organization to stage an attack to take over the United States, starting with the liberation of San Francisco.

5. Bug kills God. TIme's up: Hollow Knight
Main character travels through a land of insects and
kills the source of a deadly infection, a powerful moth creature known as "The Radiance" who was revered as the one who gave bugs their intelligence, and though the protagonist isn't a bug like everyone else, his stature and shell makes them look like one.

6. Reporter uncovers meat industry conspiracy. Time's up: Dead Rising
One of the main plot points as to why the zombies were created was the US government trying to find new ways to mass produce cattle to the overwhelming needs of the population.

7. Dog kills evil fish. Time's up: Okami
Main character is the goddess of sun taking the form of a white wolf, and the main antagonist is a small, black fish.

8. Man stabs the Devil and pays for his ticket to hell. Time's up: Desperados
In the end fight with the villain known only as "El Diablo" (The Devil) the main character stabs him and he plummets down into a ravine. The last lines the main character utters as he flings a coin down with El Diablo are "Adios, amigo. Buy yourself a one-way ticket to Hell."

9. The Ultimate reality TV-show. Correct: @Brahmin Baron Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
A murder mystery where a dozen teenagers known as "Ultimates" due to their exceptional abilities are locked inside a building with the purpose of having them murder each other.
One of the main twists is that the whole thing is recorded live to a post-apocalyptic world's survivors as a message of despair that even their brightest and most hopeful would stoop so low.

10. Stuntmen save the Earth with cardboard boxes. Time's up: Chroma Squad
Five stuntment start their own studio to make Power Rangers-styles television with a low budget consisting of mostly home-made costumes and robots made out of cardboard. Turns out that they have actual powers and they use them to protect the planet against genuine villains while filming it all as a television show.

11. Five people kill cult leader's embryos. Correct: @Ginger Piglet Rise of the Triad: Dark War
In the game you kill a cult leader named El Oscuro, but to get the good ending you have to kill his spawn in the same level where you fight him; A bunch of eggs with his wriggling larvae in them. Otherwise the world will be destroyed in 30 years.

12. Dude picks up dagger. Dies. Time's up: Devil Daggers
The only thing to do in this game is picking up a dagger, starting an endless wave of monsters which you try to survive until your inevitable death.

13. Treasure hunter mistakes a Bible for a gun. Time's up: Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood
While trying to find some lost treasure with his two brothers, Ray McCall is becoming mentally unhinged, and as his youngest brother William confronts Ray and puts his hand inside his jacket, Ray shoots him, thinking he was drawing a weapon. It turns out to be the Bible.

14. Woman unstabs dragon. Correct: @Brahmin Baron Tomb Raider II
Lara Croft kills off the final boss - a Venetian Mafia leader who stabs himself with a ceremonial Chinese dagger to turn himself into a dragon - by removing the dagger as he's staggered.

15. Race car driver kills his competition. Wins. Correct: @Ginger Piglet Carmageddon
In this racing game there are several win conditions; Finishing the race first, killing every pedestrian, or wrecking the other drivers' cars.

16. Mining corporation tricasts competitive killing show. Correct: @Ginger Piglet Unreal Tournament
The Liandri Mining Corporation is the business that took deathmatch mainstream in the games. The levels are often stated as their property to be used as arenas.

17. Man steals his own eye. Time's up: Thief: The Dark Project
A powerful pagan man steals the main character's eye and uses it as a piece of an artifact that would be used to turn the world's civilization back into the wilds. The main character steals the artifact - and his own eye in it - and replaces it with a fake.

18. Scottish woman foils world domination. Correct: @Iä! Iä! No One Lives Forever 1&2
Main character is a Scottish woman named Cate Archer. The main antagonists are part of an organization bent on world-domination.

19. Man tells a true story about sand. Time's up: Prince of Persia: Sands of Time
Main character tells to a princess about how he acquired the sands of time and used them to save the kingdom.

20. Four thieves fool everyone into thinking there's eight of them. Time's up: Monaco
Four thieves captured by the police are interrogated and tell that four other thieves set them up to be captured. After the storyline comes to its end, it's revealed that instead of eight people with different skill sets, there were only four of them the whole time, each shown to have two sets of skills from the variety of characters. They promptly escape.



Thanks for playing.
 
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2, Mario Kart?
3, Kirby? (Can't think of a tank tho)
9, Smash TV?
 
Clop said:
1. Time-traveling alien wears hats.
2. A blue shell is the spawn of Satan.
3. Dude obsessed with eating animals destroys super-tank.
4. Backpacker saves San Francisco.
5. Bug kills God.
6. Reporter uncovers meat industry conspiracy.
7. Dog kills evil fish.
8. Man stabs the Devil and pays for his ticket to hell.
9. The Ultimate reality TV-show.
10. Stuntmen save the Earth with cardboard boxes.
11. Five people kill cult leader's embryos.
12. Dude picks up dagger. Dies.
13. Treasure hunter mistakes a Bible for a gun.
14. Woman unstabs dragon.
15. Race car driver kills his competition. Wins.
16. Mining corporation tricasts competitive killing show.
17. Man steals his own eye.
18. Scottish woman foils world domination.
19. Man tells a true story about sand.
20. Four thieves fool everyone into thinking there's eight of them.


Get to it, Kiwis. Teamwork time.
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5 is shin megami tansai 3 isnt it?
 
Mass Effect Series.
Guy fucks girls all over the universe then kills big robots.
 
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