Careercow Chuck Wendig / Charles Wendig / TerribleMinds - Terrible author, terrible person, ruined Internet Archive's online library

[Haramburger]

For instance, do you have to prove you're "ideologically pure" enough to scrub their toilets?

Trick question, only blacks & mexicans scrub toilets, who automatically get a pass for all underpaid liberal job opportunities.

>has a Mastadon account
of course he has one, can't wait until he eventually leaves Twitter and has a fiasco come out because of it like Wil Wheaton

But like everyone else who isn't a troon, he hasn't tooted since January and basically doesn't use it.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I wonder if he is going to spend the rest of his days making sandwiches.

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

Star Wars is always stories of "A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far, Far Away..." And while that single little detail isn't necessarily a cardinal rule to never be broken when writing these stories, every other audiobook series of Star Wars I got was written in past tense, so all the other writers seem to have gotten the memo. Maybe its not an issue on paper, but when tens upon tens upon tens of hours these stories are narrated to you audibly in the same tense format, and suddenly this one is way different for no apparent reason, its really jarring. It bugged the shit out of me, and I stopped listening and put on some Sherlock Holmes stories instead. Sadly I was outside the return policy of Audible so I'm not getting my money back, but unless I'm really hard up for a Star Wars story or I have a specific purpose to listen to it for something, I don't really ever plan on revisiting and listening to Aftermath.

Present tense only really works when you're focused on one character's limited perspective of the world and you spend a lot of time in their head. It works great for short stories. The Star Wars EU is just generic space opera crap made up on the spot; basically just Star Trek but replacing the science stuff with laser swords and magic. Pulp fantasy novels don't need it and it always feels weird. It's made all the worse from the fact Wendig doesn't have the faintest sense of flow.

 

[damian]

My only fear with this thread is we’ll see a lot of off-topic Star Wars sperging.

I call it the Curse of Star Wars or ImportantFart’s law - the mention of Star Wars in a thread causes an exponential increase of the amount of autism in said thread.

But people have been very well behaved so far so maybe those fears are unfounded

Star Wars gets mocked plenty already, as long as it’s kept within his writing abilities and it’s affect to the canon/continuity, I see no problem discussing it within context. I’m more a comics nerd than a SW one.

 

[Mola Ram]

Star Wars gets mocked plenty already, as long as it’s kept within his writing abilities and it’s affect to the canon/continuity, I see no problem discussing it within context. I’m more a comics nerd than a SW one.

Fortunately, it's just as likely this thread will focus on Wendig's leftist politics and execrable rhetoric, which I'm sure won't ever get out of control.

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

Fortunately, it's just as likely this thread will focus on Wendig's leftist politics and execrable rhetoric, which I'm sure won't ever get out of control.

It'll be both and I'm sure it won't get at all annoying seeing the same "muh Star Wars sold out to libruls" whining for the four millionth time.

 

[The Great Chandler]

So not only is he a 40 something year old teen who never boomered up, but a crappy writer at that. Seriously! I never seen someone botch writing in a mostly serious toned franchise like Star Wars.

 

[TheImportantFart]

Star Wars gets mocked plenty already, as long as it’s kept within his writing abilities and it’s affect to the canon/continuity, I see no problem discussing it within context. I’m more a comics nerd than a SW one.

People are inevitably going to talk about Star Wars, it just has the potential to veer of topic very fast. We had a thread discussing the spergs who threw a tantrum when the original EU was declared non-canon and it derailed almost immediately.

But like I say, everyone's been very well-behaved so far.

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

So not only is he a 40 something year old teen who never boomered up, but a crappy writer at that. Seriously! I never seen someone botch writing in a mostly serious toned franchise like Star Wars.

Expanded Universes have always been dumping grounds for writers who are just known enough to merit consistent work but are still desperate enough to write for 3 cents a word. Star Wars is no exception and never was. Wendig's no worse than like 90% of the people who wrote that trash. He's just bad in unique ways.

 

[omori]

I sense a #metoo on him in the near future.

 

[Mola Ram]

Expanded Universes have always been dumping grounds for writers who are just known enough to merit consistent work but are still desperate enough to write for 3 cents a word. Star Wars is no exception and never was. Wendig's no worse than like 90% of the people who wrote that trash. He's just bad in unique ways.

I haven't read much EU stuff (none, really, if you don't count the d20 RPG and some stuff related to the KOTOR games), but from what I have seen I don't think your assessment is that far off. Even the best writers, like Timothy Zahn, seem to be workmanlike at best, with some pretty good ideas (when they weren't ripping off Asimov's Trantor to create Coruscant) (but then the Jedi are basically a ripoff of Lensmen, so whatevs).

What's hilarious to me is the defense of Wendig, as if Marvel just threw Oscar Wilde into prison. R.A. Salvatore (not exactly James Joyce or F. Scott Fitzgerald himself) had the brass balls to describe Wendig as having been a New York Times bestselling writer, with millions of copies sold ... as if anyone was buying his stuff because it was written by Wendig rather than because of the Star Wars logo plastered all over the cover.

 

[BatChatillon]

Someone at Disney has approved his shitty stories. It's hard to belief that a company that gave George Lucas $4.3 billion for the Star Wars rights doesn't invest in lectoring and editing, but it seems Wendig's below-average fan-fiction level of writing gets a pass. Someone sat there, read this shit and said: "okay that's fine. Not Mark Twain level, but fine."

Star Wars, especially after they nuked the EU, is a limited universe where stories could write themselves, yet Wendig still manages to fuck up by shoe-horning woke ideas into it, plus the way he describes the scenes, characters and dialogues are infuriating after some time, you might think he is a troll.

People back then laughed at Lucas for bringing up Jar-Jar Binks, now we have genderfluid, gay, woke characters which have little personality besides being genderfluid, gay, woke etc.

 

[CIA Nigger]

Thanks for the first pic in the OP, I've haven't laughed this hard on the farms in a while.

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

I haven't read much EU stuff (none, really, if you don't count the d20 RPG and some stuff related to the KOTOR games), but from what I have seen I don't think your assessment is that far off. Even the best writers, like Timothy Zahn, seem to be workmanlike at best, with some pretty good ideas (when they weren't ripping off Asimov's Trantor to create Coruscant) (but then the Jedi are basically a ripoff of Lensmen, so whatevs).

What's hilarious to me is the defense of Wendig, as if Marvel just threw Oscar Wilde into prison. R.A. Salvatore (not exactly James Joyce or F. Scott Fitzgerald himself) had the brass balls to describe Wendig as having been a New York Times bestselling writer, with millions of copies sold ... as if anyone was buying his stuff because it was written by Wendig rather than because of the Star Wars logo plastered all over the cover.

Describing guys like Zahn as "workmanlike" is on the mark. He's just competent enough to write a serviceable story but it's clearly just a paycheck. As for people defending Wendigo, that's just the automatic battle lines getting drawn. One camp of NPCs reeeing about how genderfags ruined Star Wars and another camp of NPCs reeing about how genderfags saved Star Wars. It's all autistic brand shilling one way or another.

 

[Creep3r]

Wait did he also right the book where Poe farts at a wedding?

View attachment 569362

Actually no. This was by another pair of exceptional writers.
https://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Join_the_Resistance:_Escape_from_Vodran

All it says is that it was written by some fucks named Ben Blacker and Ben Acker
Aside from the odd cartoon-like names, well...

The new novels, comics and media are chock full of authors like Wendig because they're so much more cheaper than actual writers. Fart jokes and soy-based writing are now as common in Star Wars media as they are in Marvel media or anywhere else.

The most entertaining thing about this though is his atrocious writing style and the people who are smart enough to make fun of him for it. We need more authorcows.

Indeed. There's plenty of terrible book author lolcows to go around in the current year that need to be documented.

 

[Commander X]

What do we do? Perhaps stop writing shit like "thready thread thread".

 

[AnOminous]

Describing guys like Zahn as "workmanlike" is on the mark. He's just competent enough to write a serviceable story but it's clearly just a paycheck.

Wendig isn't even that competent, though. The samples posted here are jaw droppingly bad.

 

[AnyMajorDude]

Ulyses is brilliant, though.
And Joyce was a talented writer.

No, Goethe was a talented writer.

Joyce was emblematic of the cultural decay that is modern art.

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

Wendig isn't even that competent, though. The samples posted here are jaw droppingly bad.

My point is the worker drones like Zahn make up the historical minority of EU writers you can describe as competent. Most were and are trash.

What do we do? Perhaps stop writing shit like "thready thread thread".

God he even hyphen-spams in his fucking tweets.

 

[mindlessobserver]

Someone at Disney has approved his shitty stories. It's hard to belief that a company that gave George Lucas $4.3 billion for the Star Wars rights doesn't invest in lectoring and editing, but it seems Wendig's below-average fan-fiction level of writing gets a pass. Someone sat there, read this shit and said: "okay that's fine. Not Mark Twain level, but fine.I"

Star Wars, especially after they nuked the EU, is a limited universe where stories could write themselves, yet Wendig still manages to fuck up by shoe-horning woke ideas into it, plus the way he describes the scenes, characters and dialogues are infuriating after some time, you might think he is a troll.

People back then laughed at Lucas for bringing up Jar-Jar Binks, now we have genderfluid, gay, woke characters which have little personality besides being genderfluid, gay, woke etc.

Disney backed novelizations are pure excrement. They always have been. They view them as movie tie ins that can turn a quick buck and serve as shelf based advertising for their films and corporate presence. They don't give a solitary shit about what is between the covers, which is why they are all written by hack writers like Wendig. They can pay them with soy based peanuts. Hiring an actually competent science fiction writer like Zahn or Ringo would require actual payment and partial ownership of the copyright, something the Haus of Maus will never agree too.