Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

The novelization or the "canon"
Plus they revealed her downloading the skills over twitter after TFA, with the novel being confirmation.

Which really is a huge missed opportunity in my opinion. Rey instantly learns all of Kylo Ren's skills and abilities, but has zero knowledge about the Force. They could have swung this as her using dark side techniques without realizing, as she can't differentiate it from the Jedi training she also copied. It would create a clear threat of her falling to the dark side, which would explain why she seems so angry in every fight in strict contrast to how a Jedi usually rolls.
 
Plus they revealed her downloading the skills over twitter after TFA, with the novel being confirmation.

Which really is a huge missed opportunity in my opinion. Rey instantly learns all of Kylo Ren's skills and abilities, but has zero knowledge about the Force. They could have swung this as her using dark side techniques without realizing, as she can't differentiate it from the Jedi training she also copied. It would create a clear threat of her falling to the dark side, which would explain why she seems so angry in every fight in strict contrast to how a Jedi usually rolls.
The dark side is the quick and easy path after all. But I guess Yoda was actually full of shit too and Rey is the real chosen one who can effortlessly tap into both sides of the Force and generally just act like an aggressive idiot with no meaningful consequences because mary sue plot fiat she's a good person and believes hard enough.
 
Anyone saw Mark Hamill Tweet about Luke's where he compare the force to drugs and Luke death to overdosing on drugs? I wish I was making that shit up but I'm not

I hope the Luke who died and acted like an asshole is actually Luuke, the clone from the original EU, and the real Luke is still out there.

This shit is one of the reasons why Disney Star Wars always feels so small. They seem to waste any opportunity to use planets not featured in the Lucas movies

Could have been the perfect opportunity to introduce an ancient sith world, but instead we're back on Mustafar

So they can make Korriban with the serial numbers filed off? Like how Jakku is just a knockoff of Tatooine and Hosnian is a ripoff of Coruscant.
 
Anyone saw Mark Hamill Tweet about Luke's where he compare the force to drugs and Luke death to overdosing on drugs? I wish I was making that shit up but I'm not
Screenshot_20181023-154753~2.png

I couldn't help but to interpret "the force" in his tweet as the ones behind the ST.
 
So Charles Soule new Vader comic revealed why Vader in the Woke wars timeline decided to build his castle on Mustafar and why it's shaped like a tuning fork: in the newst issue of Marvel Darth Vader it's revealed that Mustafar core is full of Dark Side Energy, the Castle IS agiant tuning fork to use the energy and all of this is so Vader can communicate with Padmé spirit. I know it's set not that long after RotS but really?

I can't imagine buying to read this stuff
waitwaitwait
Trying to communicate with her spirit or actually succeeding at it?
Trying (and ultimately failing) like Darth Immortality Guy would be an okay enough thing.
If all along Vader was calling Padme on SithSkype and bitching at her about how Luke blew up the Death Star and stuff it would be impressively stupid.
 
Korriban is in Disney, it just was known by different names over the centuries.
It technically isn't. Disney owns it but they havent done anything with it. Korriban is only mentioned in Clone Wars as Moraband and that was before Disney bought it. It really hasn't been relevant compared to Mustafar which isnt Korriban but its desperately trying to take Korriban's place. @Save the Loli's point is that Disney has access to worlds outside the movies or the chance to make completely original never-before-seen world concepts, but instead they keep restricting themselves to the movies for their expanded media and for the films they restrict themselves by making up worlds that are basically just copy pastes of worlds seen in the old movies
 
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You know... I was talking to a friend today about TLJ and I came to a stunning conclusion.
Take a look at these guys:

blub.png


They are the traffic police dudes that take Finn and Rose into custody.
Or, to put it differently:
These glorified meter-maids are a more competent threat to the protagonists and thus to the Resistance... than Captain Phasma or Hux.

Plus they revealed her downloading the skills over twitter after TFA, with the novel being confirmation.

Which really is a huge missed opportunity in my opinion. Rey instantly learns all of Kylo Ren's skills and abilities, but has zero knowledge about the Force. They could have swung this as her using dark side techniques without realizing, as she can't differentiate it from the Jedi training she also copied. It would create a clear threat of her falling to the dark side, which would explain why she seems so angry in every fight in strict contrast to how a Jedi usually rolls.
You've got to appreciate how some poster on an internet gossip forum just spitballs an idea in a 5 paragraph post and it's far more interesting than anything professional writers could come up with for their multi billion dollar franchise.

View attachment 574263
I couldn't help but to interpret "the force" in his tweet as the ones behind the ST.
Well, I guess you could say Luke Skywalker was killed off by force.

waitwaitwait
Trying to communicate with her spirit or actually succeeding at it?
Trying (and ultimately failing) like Darth Immortality Guy would be an okay enough thing.
If all along Vader was calling Padme on SithSkype and bitching at her about how Luke blew up the Death Star and stuff it would be impressively stupid.

It's like something straight out of spaceballs. I imagine Vader doing some angry ranting at his late wife about how spoiled their son has become, interspersed with short moments of "Heh... remember that one time I told you how much I hate sand? Good times, good times..."
 
I have predictions for the plot of Star Wars Plan 9 From Outer Space:

FIRST ACT

*insert text-scroll recap of Star Wars Episode VIII here*

  1. The Resistance escapes the First Order through and leaves the salt planet Crait on the Millenium Falcon.
  2. Rey teaches new Padawans the ways of the Jedi, herself training and meditating on the usage of the Light Side of the Force.
  3. Princess General Leia Skywalker and her sycophants subordinates prepares for more EBIN SPESS BATULLZ with the First Order via contact with allied systems for supplies and weapons, Poe Dameron the lone one to question her skill and the loyalty of their supposed allies.
  4. FN-2187 (Finn) and Rose Tico (now an official pairing) talk to each other about such things as "true" love and sacrifice.
  5. Poe thinks about the absolute state of the Resistance, wonders if he needs to mutiny again.
  6. Rey thinks about the true nature of the Force: a metaphysical balance that connected everything in the universe together, and of Kylo Ren, and whether he can be changed back.
  7. The First Order, residing in some random planetary base somewhere, take time to heal, acquire supplies and weapons, and strategize to finally crush the Resistance.
  8. Plans to rebuild Starkiller Base, and make it even better (now it can destroy entire star systems in one shot) have been made and are being followed up on, the rebuilt version being named Starkiller Base II.
  9. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren trains and meditates on the Dark Side of the Force, prompting General Hux to give him lip for inaction, for which Kylo Ren smacks him around using Dark Side Force techniques.
  10. Kylo Ren tells Hux to assemble the First Order and all allies thereof (both old and very new) into the greatest army that the galaxy has seen yet, so they can finally eradicate the Resistance.
  11. Hux complies, while Kylo Ren moves to surreptitiously reestablish Force Skype the Force-bond/Force connection between him and Rey, so he can read her thoughts without her noticing or able to read his thoughts in turn.
  12. Kylo Ren thinks about the true nature of the Force: a metaphysical balance that gives order to the entire universe, and of Rey, and whether she can be brought to his side.

SECOND ACT

  1. Starkiller Base II has been built and tested and found to work; by the way, it was tested on a Resistance allied system.
  2. Rey feels a great disturbance in the Force, but Kylo is pleased.
  3. The Resistance and its allies hears reports of a system-wide genocide committed by the First Order, and they CANNOT LET THAT STAND.
  4. The First Order and the Resistance meet again.
  5. Hux spouts off a speech summarizable as "ALLAHU AKBAR! THE RESISTANCE IS RUINED!"
  6. EBIG SPAYS BATTELZ
  7. Kylo fucks with Rey's mind at a most inopportune time (i.e. when she was standing there), using the sneaky Force-bond, Resistance medics get her to the sick bay or equivalent unit.
  8. Kylo wipes out 1/10 of the Resistance fleet using Force storm or an equivalent technique (his training paid off well).
  9. Resistance gets nearly routed, the First Order being objectively superior in every way, and only manages to hastily retreat due to judicious usage of hyperdrive.
  10. Resistance finds out in a base on random planet that the destroyed Resistance allied system was their main supplier.
  11. Even though First Order won, Hux is still asshurt because IT WAS HIS TURN GODDAMNIT, and makes plans to defect to the Resistance.
  12. Resistance lands on base to lick wounds and prepare for final battle, where Rey finally recovers from getting mindfucked. Resistance allies are also found to have made last-ditch Wunderwaffe

THIRD ACT

  1. A lone escape pod lands at the Resistance base; it's Hux.
  2. Hux is made prisoner (and gets kicked by Finn), after which he tells the Resistance the First Order war plans (they were tracked by the way).
  3. The Resistance leaves the planet to make a surprise attack on the First Order.
  4. First Order is found waiting for them, because Kylo read Hux's mind. Oops.
  5. OWLTUMETE SPAESS WOR + STARKILLER BASE VERSUS WUNDERWAFFE (Wunderwaffe wins)
  6. Rey, Poe, Finn, and Rose gets in the main First Order battleship, where Kylo kills Rose with Force choke.
  7. Enraged Finn fights Kylo Ren mano-a-mano, gets stomped out in 5 minutes.
  8. Finn dies in Rey's arms, Poe runs away like a pussy.
  9. Rey becomes Dark Sonic a "Dark Side Force entity" (i.e. a literal demon) because her rage has spiraled out of control. Dark Rey then trashes Kylo with no effort.
  10. Kylo gets mad too, and becomes Dark Kylo. Rey fights him, alternating between being a Light and Dark Side Force entity until she finds balance and enlightenment Oneness, recognizing herself as an avatar or incarnation of the Force itself.
  11. Oneness Rey curbstomps Dark Kylo, wipes out the entire Force Order, saves the whole Resistance, warps reality so that all of the damage that occurred during the war never happened, and basically saves the day.
  12. Oneness Rey forgives Kylo, absolving him of his sin, so that he can live in peace with himself, and they live happily ever after.
The End.
 
I have predictions for the plot of Star Wars Plan 9 From Outer Space:

FIRST ACT

*insert text-scroll recap of Star Wars Episode VIII here*

  1. The Resistance escapes the First Order through and leaves the salt planet Crait on the Millenium Falcon.
  2. Rey teaches new Padawans the ways of the Jedi, herself training and meditating on the usage of the Light Side of the Force.
  3. Princess General Leia Skywalker and her sycophants subordinates prepares for more EBIN SPESS BATULLZ with the First Order via contact with allied systems for supplies and weapons, Poe Dameron the lone one to question her skill and the loyalty of their supposed allies.
  4. FN-2187 (Finn) and Rose Tico (now an official pairing) talk to each other about such things as "true" love and sacrifice.
  5. Poe thinks about the absolute state of the Resistance, wonders if he needs to mutiny again.
  6. Rey thinks about the true nature of the Force: a metaphysical balance that connected everything in the universe together, and of Kylo Ren, and whether he can be changed back.
  7. The First Order, residing in some random planetary base somewhere, take time to heal, acquire supplies and weapons, and strategize to finally crush the Resistance.
  8. Plans to rebuild Starkiller Base, and make it even better (now it can destroy entire star systems in one shot) have been made and are being followed up on, the rebuilt version being named Starkiller Base II.
  9. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren trains and meditates on the Dark Side of the Force, prompting General Hux to give him lip for inaction, for which Kylo Ren smacks him around using Dark Side Force techniques.
  10. Kylo Ren tells Hux to assemble the First Order and all allies thereof (both old and very new) into the greatest army that the galaxy has seen yet, so they can finally eradicate the Resistance.
  11. Hux complies, while Kylo Ren moves to surreptitiously reestablish Force Skype the Force-bond/Force connection between him and Rey, so he can read her thoughts without her noticing or able to read his thoughts in turn.
  12. Kylo Ren thinks about the true nature of the Force: a metaphysical balance that gives order to the entire universe, and of Rey, and whether she can be brought to his side.

SECOND ACT

  1. Starkiller Base II has been built and tested and found to work; by the way, it was tested on a Resistance allied system.
  2. Rey feels a great disturbance in the Force, but Kylo is pleased.
  3. The Resistance and its allies hears reports of a system-wide genocide committed by the First Order, and they CANNOT LET THAT STAND.
  4. The First Order and the Resistance meet again.
  5. Hux spouts off a speech summarizable as "ALLAHU AKBAR! THE RESISTANCE IS RUINED!"
  6. EBIG SPAYS BATTELZ
  7. Kylo fucks with Rey's mind at a most inopportune time (i.e. when she was standing there), using the sneaky Force-bond, Resistance medics get her to the sick bay or equivalent unit.
  8. Kylo wipes out 1/10 of the Resistance fleet using Force storm or an equivalent technique (his training paid off well).
  9. Resistance gets nearly routed, the First Order being objectively superior in every way, and only manages to hastily retreat due to judicious usage of hyperdrive.
  10. Resistance finds out in a base on random planet that the destroyed Resistance allied system was their main supplier.
  11. Even though First Order won, Hux is still asshurt because IT WAS HIS TURN GODDAMNIT, and makes plans to defect to the Resistance.
  12. Resistance lands on base to lick wounds and prepare for final battle, where Rey finally recovers from getting mindfucked. Resistance allies are also found to have made last-ditch Wunderwaffe

THIRD ACT

  1. A lone escape pod lands at the Resistance base; it's Hux.
  2. Hux is made prisoner (and gets kicked by Finn), after which he tells the Resistance the First Order war plans (they were tracked by the way).
  3. The Resistance leaves the planet to make a surprise attack on the First Order.
  4. First Order is found waiting for them, because Kylo read Hux's mind. Oops.
  5. OWLTUMETE SPAESS WOR + STARKILLER BASE VERSUS WUNDERWAFFE (Wunderwaffe wins)
  6. Rey, Poe, Finn, and Rose gets in the main First Order battleship, where Kylo kills Rose with Force choke.
  7. Enraged Finn fights Kylo Ren mano-a-mano, gets stomped out in 5 minutes.
  8. Finn dies in Rey's arms, Poe runs away like a pussy.
  9. Rey becomes Dark Sonic a "Dark Side Force entity" (i.e. a literal demon) because her rage has spiraled out of control. Dark Rey then trashes Kylo with no effort.
  10. Kylo gets mad too, and becomes Dark Kylo. Rey fights him, alternating between being a Light and Dark Side Force entity until she finds balance and enlightenment Oneness, recognizing herself as an avatar or incarnation of the Force itself.
  11. Oneness Rey curbstomps Dark Kylo, wipes out the entire Force Order, saves the whole Resistance, warps reality so that all of the damage that occurred during the war never happened, and basically saves the day.
  12. Oneness Rey forgives Kylo, absolving him of his sin, so that he can live in peace with himself, and they live happily ever after.
The End.

Eh. If this all pans out the way you predict let me add this tidbit:
First Order will have some as of yet unseen and unheard of piece of technology that has as of yet unseen and unheard of abilities and effects, which will take everyone, especially Finn, by surprise. While the protags put together a desperate plan to destroy this piece of technology, Finn will leisurely let slip that he used to mopp the floor in the very room where the piece of technology is placed.
When they are there to destroy it, Phasma will show up, say some mean things to Finn, grab for her pistol-sized blaster, but as she pulls it out, it will catch in her cape and she will shoot herself in the face, blowing her head to tiny pieces immediately.
Her headless body will then topple over, where it will proceed to shit and piss itself with loud fart-noises, ended with this soundeffect playing.
 
When they are there to destroy it, Phasma will show up, say some mean things to Finn, grab for her pistol-sized blaster, but as she pulls it out, it will catch in her cape and she will shoot herself in the face, blowing her head to tiny pieces immediately.
Her headless body will then topple over, where it will proceed to shit and piss itself with loud fart-noises, ended with this soundeffect playing.
For a First Order Captain, Phasma really is pathetic.
 
I have predictions for the plot of Star Wars Plan 9 From Outer Space:

FIRST ACT

*insert text-scroll recap of Star Wars Episode VIII here*

  1. The Resistance escapes the First Order through and leaves the salt planet Crait on the Millenium Falcon.
  2. Rey teaches new Padawans the ways of the Jedi, herself training and meditating on the usage of the Light Side of the Force.
  3. Princess General Leia Skywalker and her sycophants subordinates prepares for more EBIN SPESS BATULLZ with the First Order via contact with allied systems for supplies and weapons, Poe Dameron the lone one to question her skill and the loyalty of their supposed allies.
  4. FN-2187 (Finn) and Rose Tico (now an official pairing) talk to each other about such things as "true" love and sacrifice.
  5. Poe thinks about the absolute state of the Resistance, wonders if he needs to mutiny again.
  6. Rey thinks about the true nature of the Force: a metaphysical balance that connected everything in the universe together, and of Kylo Ren, and whether he can be changed back.
  7. The First Order, residing in some random planetary base somewhere, take time to heal, acquire supplies and weapons, and strategize to finally crush the Resistance.
  8. Plans to rebuild Starkiller Base, and make it even better (now it can destroy entire star systems in one shot) have been made and are being followed up on, the rebuilt version being named Starkiller Base II.
  9. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren trains and meditates on the Dark Side of the Force, prompting General Hux to give him lip for inaction, for which Kylo Ren smacks him around using Dark Side Force techniques.
  10. Kylo Ren tells Hux to assemble the First Order and all allies thereof (both old and very new) into the greatest army that the galaxy has seen yet, so they can finally eradicate the Resistance.
  11. Hux complies, while Kylo Ren moves to surreptitiously reestablish Force Skype the Force-bond/Force connection between him and Rey, so he can read her thoughts without her noticing or able to read his thoughts in turn.
  12. Kylo Ren thinks about the true nature of the Force: a metaphysical balance that gives order to the entire universe, and of Rey, and whether she can be brought to his side.

SECOND ACT

  1. Starkiller Base II has been built and tested and found to work; by the way, it was tested on a Resistance allied system.
  2. Rey feels a great disturbance in the Force, but Kylo is pleased.
  3. The Resistance and its allies hears reports of a system-wide genocide committed by the First Order, and they CANNOT LET THAT STAND.
  4. The First Order and the Resistance meet again.
  5. Hux spouts off a speech summarizable as "ALLAHU AKBAR! THE RESISTANCE IS RUINED!"
  6. EBIG SPAYS BATTELZ
  7. Kylo fucks with Rey's mind at a most inopportune time (i.e. when she was standing there), using the sneaky Force-bond, Resistance medics get her to the sick bay or equivalent unit.
  8. Kylo wipes out 1/10 of the Resistance fleet using Force storm or an equivalent technique (his training paid off well).
  9. Resistance gets nearly routed, the First Order being objectively superior in every way, and only manages to hastily retreat due to judicious usage of hyperdrive.
  10. Resistance finds out in a base on random planet that the destroyed Resistance allied system was their main supplier.
  11. Even though First Order won, Hux is still asshurt because IT WAS HIS TURN GODDAMNIT, and makes plans to defect to the Resistance.
  12. Resistance lands on base to lick wounds and prepare for final battle, where Rey finally recovers from getting mindfucked. Resistance allies are also found to have made last-ditch Wunderwaffe

THIRD ACT

  1. A lone escape pod lands at the Resistance base; it's Hux.
  2. Hux is made prisoner (and gets kicked by Finn), after which he tells the Resistance the First Order war plans (they were tracked by the way).
  3. The Resistance leaves the planet to make a surprise attack on the First Order.
  4. First Order is found waiting for them, because Kylo read Hux's mind. Oops.
  5. OWLTUMETE SPAESS WOR + STARKILLER BASE VERSUS WUNDERWAFFE (Wunderwaffe wins)
  6. Rey, Poe, Finn, and Rose gets in the main First Order battleship, where Kylo kills Rose with Force choke.
  7. Enraged Finn fights Kylo Ren mano-a-mano, gets stomped out in 5 minutes.
  8. Finn dies in Rey's arms, Poe runs away like a pussy.
  9. Rey becomes Dark Sonic a "Dark Side Force entity" (i.e. a literal demon) because her rage has spiraled out of control. Dark Rey then trashes Kylo with no effort.
  10. Kylo gets mad too, and becomes Dark Kylo. Rey fights him, alternating between being a Light and Dark Side Force entity until she finds balance and enlightenment Oneness, recognizing herself as an avatar or incarnation of the Force itself.
  11. Oneness Rey curbstomps Dark Kylo, wipes out the entire Force Order, saves the whole Resistance, warps reality so that all of the damage that occurred during the war never happened, and basically saves the day.
  12. Oneness Rey forgives Kylo, absolving him of his sin, so that he can live in peace with himself, and they live happily ever after.
The End.
Wrong. We can't have Asians and Pee Oh Cees dying, so remove that. Rey just turns Kylo with MaRey Sue bullshit and it's them vs. Hux for three boring acts.
 
Daala already got scrapped for that Soyboy Chuck's strong black woman because she was too white.

Plus she was Tarkin's protege, with her second in comand a guy called Palleaon, Thrawn's protege.

17247762860832382.jpg

In all fairness Daala was a terrible general and only got where she was by fucking Grand moff Tarkin and their was that time they made her president of the galaxy for no apparant reason, following a civil war which occured for even less reason.

Fucking Hell this all reminds the writting for EU usually was total shit and Disney where right to bury it even if they couldnt do any better.
 
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