Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

[Ruin]

He seems to have found at least a few websites that would allow him to write for them regularly until they folded. What’s interesting is how his strategy seemed to be the same one he used with Zoe— hang around them long enough in the hopes that they would carry him to fame and fortune. When those websites folded, he had nowhere to go because he never made an effort by himself.

What a waste he could have used those credentials to worm his way into the bigger publications over time if he wasn't a lazy basement gnome in Velcro sped shoes and a coolie hat.

 

[AnOminous]

He seems to have found at least a few websites that would allow him to write for them regularly until they folded.

Any outlet desperate enough to let someone like Jake publish unintelligible Googleshngs doesn't have long to exist.

 

[Kosher Dill]

What’s interesting is how his strategy seemed to be the same one he used with Zoe— hang around them long enough in the hopes that they would carry him to fame and fortune

And indeed, "Gamespite" was run by the guy who owns Jake's forum of choice, Talking-Time.

Also, someone should add "opinions as facts" to the tags on this thread.

 

[Maggots on a Train v2]

I gotta request that someone do a deep dive on this image that @Hellfire just posted. It's so immensely stupid that I just want to see someone eviscerate it for my own entertainment.

Edit: here is Jake's article in "Gamespite" http://www.gamespite.net/toastywiki/index.php/Games/G10-MakeTheGuyJump

I have to give Jake credit, he has halfway accurately described the reason why Clintonite liberals want the American middle class gutted, although the top players STFU-ed about these talking points years ago, because they sound hideous. The pieces he's missing are inflation rates and interest rates on savings accounts. Those are the penalty for trying to sit on your money instead of instantly handing it over to somebody else. They also apply to regular poor and middle class people.

 

[Richard Stabone]

Jake is such a gigantic piece of shit. Him sperging about being stalked and his life being in danger whenever someone calls him out is such a pathetic move. There are women who actually have to deal with that stuff from real scumbags. And he uses it as a shield from criticism and cry for attention.

 

[repentance]

Somehow, Jake manages to make a targeted shooting of a demographic to which he doesn't belong about him.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Somehow, Jake manages to make a targeted shooting of a demographic to which he doesn't belong about him.

View attachment 579334View attachment 579335View attachment 579336

Jake “operating on pure adrenaline”


Also, we get it, after four years we all know “not well” is Jake’s default setting. Posting that he wasn’t falling to pieces and millimeters from a nervous breakdown or suicide would be worth tweeting about. We can always safely assume Jake is never well or okay.

 

[AnOminous]

Why would Jake need "pure adrenaline" to sit on his ass doing nothing all day as usual?

 

[repentance]

Why would Jake need "pure adrenaline" to sit on his ass doing nothing all day as usual?

Well you never know when an extremist whackjob might decide to target attic-dwellers in Niantic, CT, I guess.

Jake's response to Dmol asking if he wants to talk. In the first bit, he's clearly not referring to us when he talks about "stalkers".

Notice how in this bit Jake fails to mention that Jesse Singal taking "a day to really rant" was in response to Jake accusing him of being a sexual predator and not in response to the Riot stuff from weeks earlier.

 

[MyOtherNicknameIsAPun]

Any outlet desperate enough to let someone like Jake publish unintelligible Googleshngs doesn't have long to exist.

But there are enough of "high profile" millennial content farms that Jake could easily make some cash on a side. Don't tell me you don't see his diatribe about RPG or "Ranma½ is super trans" on one of those Polygons or Vox type sites? They employ mongs by the dozens.

Imagine being a "tech writer" and not notice TP touchpad has heptic buttons and the ones up top are for The Clit. Jake would fit right in. His only problem is overplaying his Twitter persona to the point of no return. I need a link to his Twitter profile next to definition of "sunken costs fallacy".

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

But there are enough of "high profile" millennial content farms that Jake could easily make some cash on a side. Don't tell me you don't see his diatribe about RPG or "Ranma½ is super trans" on one of those Polygons or Vox type sites? They employ mongs by the dozens.

Imagine being a "tech writer" and not notice TP touchpad has heptic buttons and the ones up top are for The Clit. Jake would fit right in. His only problem is overplaying his Twitter persona to the point of no return. I need a link to his Twitter profile next to definition of "sunken costs fallacy".

I had to look that article up so see if it was real...
I would just like to mention that the thinkpads have a function-button for turning off the trackpad, for non-mong users. IMO it becomes more ergonomic to use when you don't have to worry about touching/swiping the pad when writing. Clit-mouse works better in games too.

 

[Hellfire]

It seems Jake was a regular contributor to "Gamespite", and was even listed as "staff", starting from Quarterly 4:
http://www.gamespite.net/toastywiki/index.php/Site/GSQ4TableOfContents
He's got an article or two in every issue from this point up to the end.

Most of his contributions are completely forgettable retrogame "reviews", such as this one for the original Super Mario Bros.:
http://www.gamespite.net/toastywiki/index.php/Games/G5-SuperMarioBros
If you're going to write an article about Super Mario Bros., surely the most exhaustively analyzed game of all time, at least have something original to say! Jake just recounts some of the novel features of the game, while engaging in his "asspulls as facts" style of exposition. For example:

Kind of a bizarre statement to make without any backing information. Sure, Mario started the platforming boom, but was it really at the expense of arcade gaming? Was it really "sudden"?
To take just one of many examples, what about shooters, the quintessential quarter-munching arcade games? Those were hugely popular and remained popular on home consoles.

Next up: "How RPGs Lost Their Way"
http://www.gamespite.net/toastywiki/index.php/Games/HowRPGSLostTheirWay
I challenge anyone to read this rambling recitation of "Features Of RPGs I Have Played" and come off with any coherent idea of how RPGs could be said to have lost their way.

EDIT:

On this particular topic I'd argue that the field isn't even mature enough yet that we have an academic debate and schools of thought worthy of the name.

Jake got triggered once after someone 'dropped by' and supposedly bent a Gamespite Quarterly in half to look at it before Jake had been able to read it. https://archive.fo/v13Xs#selection-4266.1-4364.5

 

[MG 620]

Secret Gamer Girl is pissing his oversized pants.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Jake got triggered once after someone 'dropped by' and supposedly bent a Gamespite Quarterly in half to look at it before Jake had been able to read it. https://archive.fo/v13Xs#selection-4266.1-4364.5
View attachment 579148

He bought "a big wad" of Gamespites? More insulation for the attic, I guess.

 

[Randall Fragg]

I gotta request that someone do a deep dive on this image that @Hellfire just posted. It's so immensely stupid that I just want to see someone eviscerate it for my own entertainment.

Edit: here is Jake's article in "Gamespite" http://www.gamespite.net/toastywiki/index.php/Games/G10-MakeTheGuyJump

Okay, I'm no expert on economics, but even with my very limited understanding I can tell that the Noise Making Thing has no idea what he's Googleshnging about.
Wealthy people don't sit around with their money in cash-loaves like Scrooge McDuck. They put it in banks. And, contrary to what ignorant speds like Jake might think, banks don't just throw all your money in a big vault and have it collecting dust. They keep a certain percentage (determined by the Federal Reserve) on hand for withdrawals. Most of that cash is given out as loans, at set interest rates, to people looking for investors, as mortgages, and so forth. Those cash-loaves end up financing people trying to start small businesses, or buy a house. New businesses need employees, who receive wages and proceed to spend those wages, furthering the cycle of commerce. New homes typically mean that people moving into them end up buying new goods to improve their homes, furthering the cycle of commerce. This is called Investment Banking, and anyone with a high-school diploma should have a basic idea of how it works. While the spending would be good for established firms, it would prevent new firms from acquiring the capital needed to build up a business.
Jake's Use-it-or-Lose it idea is pure Noise Making. That would discourage people to save money, limiting the amount of capital available for loans, and preventing the aforementioned things from happening.
TD;LR Jake is an idiot and doesn't understand basic economics.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Jake got triggered once after someone 'dropped by' and supposedly bent a Gamespite Quarterly in half to look at it before Jake had been able to read it. https://archive.fo/v13Xs#selection-4266.1-4364.5
View attachment 579148

Someone = Jake’s Mom. A thirty year old man was upset his mommy almost creased the spine on his shitty magazine about video games.

 

[Ruin]

Can I just say "noise making thing" is my favorite name for Jake? Not only is it accurate it sounds like an undefined Lovecraftian horror which is appropriate given which part of the U.S he dwells in.

 

[Randall Fragg]

Can I just say "noise making thing" is my favorite name for Jake? Not only is it accurate it sounds like an undefined Lovecraftian horror which is appropriate given which part of the U.S he dwells in.

For me it always conjures up the image of a fat, sessile blob that starts screeching uncontrollably at any changes in it’s immediate environment. So, Jake Ally.
And I can’t help but imagine that Jake makes these kinds of noises whenever he’s upset

 

[AnOminous]

But there are enough of "high profile" millennial content farms that Jake could easily make some cash on a side. Don't tell me you don't see his diatribe about RPG or "Ranma½ is super trans" on one of those Polygons or Vox type sites? They employ mongs by the dozens.

It may be dumb clickbait, but you can usually tell what the fuck they're trying to say. This is not the case with Jake, whose word diarrhea is often completely unintelligible gibberish even to seasoned Jake-watchers.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Okay, I'm no expert on economics, but even with my very limited understanding I can tell that the Noise Making Thing has no idea what he's Googleshnging about.
Wealthy people don't sit around with their money in cash-loaves like Scrooge McDuck. They put it in banks. And, contrary to what ignorant speds like Jake might think, banks don't just throw all your money in a big vault and have it collecting dust. They keep a certain percentage (determined by the Federal Reserve) on hand for withdrawals. Most of that cash is given out as loans, at set interest rates, to people looking for investors, as mortgages, and so forth. Those cash-loaves end up financing people trying to start small businesses, or buy a house. New businesses need employees, who receive wages and proceed to spend those wages, furthering the cycle of commerce. New homes typically mean that people moving into them end up buying new goods to improve their homes, furthering the cycle of commerce. This is called Investment Banking, and anyone with a high-school diploma should have a basic idea of how it works. While the spending would be good for established firms, it would prevent new firms from acquiring the capital needed to build up a business.
Jake's Use-it-or-Lose it idea is pure Noise Making. That would discourage people to save money, limiting the amount of capital available for loans, and preventing the aforementioned things from happening.
TD;LR Jake is an idiot and doesn't understand basic economics.

Yeah, hoarding money is not a money making scheme when there's inflation decreasing its purchasing power. Remember that ice cream you liked as a kid? It's more expensive now. My favorite cost 4 and now cost 9 and it mirrors how prices/money have changed, if I had a billion then I'd still have a billion today but my purchasing power would have diminished and I could by half as many ice creams today, or the house that once cost X now cost twice that.
Sitting on money is pointless, it needs to be used/invested or else the value withers away, that's why inflation is good, it encourages investment and growth.

edit: there's also reverse-inflation, some people think that is good but they are dumb, it's the situation where your money is gaining value so if you're rich why invest anything? You'll be wealthier tomorrow by doing nothing.