Money Financhu Crisis / Chris sells his stuff megathread

What's your favourite Chris excuse for wanting money?

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RustyNail(her) said:
Chris would definitely have a Paypal card on him and post hourly tweets demanding money, but I don't know if he can do face to face begging like a holding a sign up at an intersection.
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:story:

HeraldofNurgle said:
Am I evil for really wanting to see his freakout when xmas comes along and nobody bought him anything?
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I doubt he'll freak out, but he was legitimately disappointed a few years ago when no one bought him a PS4 for his birthday.

Real G said:
When will Chris be forced to file bankruptcy?
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The tugboat's untouchable, so very likely never.
 
I'd be interested to see Chris give us his reasons why he needs each item he listed. Like, 10 legitimate reasons why he needs it and how it will better himself for then do it again for each and every single item without a single duplicate answer and none of that "Because I reeeaaaally waaaant it!" shit. He needs to make it clear why he deserves these.
 
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repentance said:
I wonder how Chris would react to people making small donations to charity in his name. Would thinking that he could have been the one getting that money annoy him enough for him to revise his "no small donations" policy?
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Make sure you sign as Christine Weston Chandler! I do Toys for Tots every year and I don't think you sign your name anywhere but I'll be happy knowing an underprivileged kid will get a Transformer and not a spend-crazy manchild.
 
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The interesting thing about this right now is that this may be the first year where Chris receives no Christmas presents at all. Barb certainly isn't up to going shopping and she isn't in a position to give him a fat enough gift certificate or check. Chris's "friends" aren't the type to give him anything, and I think the internet cash cow thing has played itself out. He may end up living through a Christmas that is much more miserable than the Christmas special video that we resurrect every year as our holiday tradition.
 
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Real G said:
When will Chris be forced to file bankruptcy?
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He has no reason to file. It costs money. He is judgment proof. He has too little debt and no assets to worry about.

Chris has some negative consequences in his future though. He will not be able to get a car loan. His accounts in good standing can be canceled for negative marks from other accounts. Credit card terms allow them to close your account for not paying different debts. His credit will completely dry up and he would be stuck with expensive secured accounts where you only get "credit" by putting up equal amount of cash as collateral. He would then have to still come up with money to pay monthly debts plus interest if he carried a balance.

When he loses the house, he will be okay though because there are agencies that help tards secure accommodations.
 
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idosometimes said:
He has no reason to file. It costs money. He is judgment proof. He has too little debt and no assets to worry about.

Chris has some negative consequences in his future though. He will not be able to get a car loan. His accounts in good standing can be canceled for negative marks from other accounts. Credit card terms allow them to close your account for not paying different debts. His credit will completely dry up and he would be stuck with expensive secured accounts where you only get "credit" by putting up equal amount of cash as collateral. He would then have to still come up with money to pay monthly debts plus interest if he carried a balance.

When he loses the house, he will be okay though because there are agencies that help tards secure accommodations.
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Worse then being denied car loans, Chris will definitely go to predatory loan places with 99% interest. I think it was mentioned he has gone to one before, but before long they'll be the only people willing to lend to him.
 
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It may be morbid, but Chris could've been better off if Barb had passed away instead:

- Probably no hoard (Bob could've cleaned it out without Barb threatening to kill herself if any of it was thrown out).

- The "Hit and Run Incident" may not have happened, or at least it probably wouldn't have consumed Bob's money.

- The Keurig Fire probably wouldn't have happened. Which means probably no e-begging.

- Possibly a better diet (Barb ragequit cooking over the "Spaghetti Incident").

- No reverse mortgage on 14BLC.

- No pet hoarding.

- "Tomgirl" wouldn't have gone as far as it has -- like the taint piercing.

- CWC would never have had to give up his old room to spoon with Bob.

- No Financhu Crisis, or at least not as bad as it is.

- Probably none of this Dimensional Merge and Idea Guy crap (unless Bob was too apathetic or clueless to stop it).

On the other hand, Chris may have been trolled more, which would've meant more w-e-e-n-s like Hirtes trying to be "the next Clyde Cash."
 
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