I love how he completely disregards his actions and tweets that got him blacklisted by friends. It was his creepy stalking/obsession with Zoe Quinn that shut down his network. It was his creepy obsession/hatred of Soha Kareem that caused the recent round of defriending.
Man up Jake, take ownership for what you did, not us.
We did literally nothing to bring about either of those things. Any "whispering campaigns" were from Blowy, and any pushback from Soha was because the nasty little gollum has been stalking, harassing and defaming her for literally years with no response, and just couldn't leave it alone.
Jakey used to get access to cons and a place to stay via troons like DePass and Cross, but then his zoepost 2.0 and harassment of Soha made him persona non grata in troon circles. Jake also keeps trying to strongarm his way into a career in gaming, which is why he's always sucking up to the trannies and chicks at Paizo on Twitter and continually trying to slide into their DMs. I'm sure Jake thinks if he shows up in all his gnome glory, he's going to finally snag the plum gaming job he thinks he deserves.
There are dozens of cons exactly like this all over the country every year though, I don't really see any particular reason he'd be interested in this one.
Even if Jake were a sociopath capable to manipulating people he'd have a bigger problem: he's not a woman. He doesn't even try to pass. He's not a twink. He's an oversized garden gnome. Nobody wants that anywhere near their genitals. There is such a thing as physical repulsion, Jake's got it. That won't go away no matter how many times he pretends to be a little kawaii girl on twitter.
The thing is, some people have a certain something about them. I have met a few markedly unattractive individuals with an almost terrifying charisma. One on one, there's no stopping them; you'll have forgotten why you were angry in less than a minute. They dominate small groups, but never seem to run roughshod over anyone; they just seem naturally pulled toward the center of things. At a panel, they can work a room. One in particular I know is a fifty-ish, short, pudgy, bearded, bald man who bears a vague resemblance to Jake himself, and he keeps finding beds to tumble into, all the while professing the unworthiness of his good fortune, laughing with his merry little eyes.
Jake is NOT one of those people.
But he is absolutely delusional enough to believe that he DOES possess overpowering charisma. He believes his writing is compelling stuff, after all. He's shown up at cons before, looking as he does. And he's... been tolerated. Nobody's laughed in his face. That's all the confirmation bias he's needed, rather than realizing that it's part of that subculture's ABSOLUTE TABOO to claim someone isn't a woman to their face. Look at the pictures of him at the panel with Katherine Cross. He doesn't look nearly terrified enough to have an ounce of self-awareness going on.
Jake is a cis male to the core. And like a cis male, he fully believes that if he could only a get a woman alone to listen for a few minutes to "make his pitch", she'd see the real him and appreciate it. "How charming and clever!" she'll say, won over by the ol' Jake charisma, "You're not what I expected, but it doesn't matter that you're not a little girl, please write RPG material for us!"
Go for it Jake. Just got to get into the same room as the Paizo lady. Wait for the right moment to strike. Maybe when her friend goes to refresh her drink. Try to squirrel her off by herself. There are no downsides to this plan.
Even Basic Becky acknowledges that information from here may be true.
I wondered why they're suddenly talking about KF again. Apparently it has to do with Peter Coffin refusing to believe Laurelai is a rapist.
Can we get Jake's location put in the thread title to refute this shit, please?
fwiw, it took us only two days to dox Jake. His thread was started on 2 September 2016 and his real life identity was established on 4 September 2016.
No-one's going to buy his claim that our information on him is "wildly inaccurate" when they see their own threads full of information they know to be true.
I think we should address this FAQ in the OP: "But Violet says you guys lie! or at least pass along unverified and wildly inaccurate information! Why shall I trust you?"
[01/01/2015, 10:53:24 AM] Secret Gamer Girl: My ideal endgame pretty much goes like this:
[01/01/2015, 10:56:23 AM] Secret Gamer Girl: Chobitcoin, Brennan, and Roguestar in prison. Cernovich disbarred. TFYC… given whatever treatment you get in Canada for massive fraud. Lianna properly exposed and never able to find honest work again. The people doing this professionally cut off and at LEAST a big rattled by investigations. Rank and file GGers, scared straight from seeing all that.
[01/01/2015, 10:56:54 AM] Secret Gamer Girl: And I’m probably forgetting on a big name or two in there
[01/01/2015, 10:58:25 AM] Secret Gamer Girl: I also left off Eron, but, he’s already in the process of getting what he’s getting, so
And my ideal endgame is this:
SGG/Jake: unemployed and in an attic (already happened)
Zoe: irrelevant (already happened)
Sarah Butts: disgraced (already happened)
Basic Becky: mad online (you bet this shits already happened)
There's a few others I'm probably forgetting, but point is people in GG don't deserve these crazy, cruel and unusual punishments Jake suggests, but they should be laughed at and feel bad for wasting years doing dumb shit.
Wasn't it Deagle Nation who said kiwifarms instead of cwckiforums? I didn't know Tyce and Jace were down syndrome, I thought they were just brain damaged racist drug addicts (who were actually just comedians, but I'm talking in-character thats what they were)
edit: someone suggested updating the title to say he lives in Connecticut so he can't use the "some guy in texas" lie so I did that.
Boy, Jake really wants to get to MagFest so he can do some real life DM sliding with some Paizo troons. Now he's going for the "Help, I'm living in a cardboard box beneath an underpass!" schtick.
Honestly it'd be funny to do that, only find 4 benches in Niantic & they all end up having those little dividers on them to prevent bums from sleeping on them, invalidating Jake's claims It was 42ºF yesterday in Niantic, 25ºF at night.
It looks like Jake might have had a bed in McCook if he could stand the salty sea air blistering his beardsicles, 1.4 mile walk:
He doesn’t have a smartphone, so we know instantly that his claims are bullshit. All he needs to do to increase the believability of his claim is not tweet for a few hours, but he can’t drag himself away from Twitter for even a few minutes.
I think it's even sadder and smaller than that. For many years, Jake has lived in a world composed entirely of words on a screen: discussion forums, IRC chatrooms, Twitter.
This is what fascinates me about Jake and why he is my favorite lolcow. He's like the "Boy in the Bubble". A few pages back, somebody was questioning themselves and why they are so fascinated by someone so utterly boring he makes Cliff Clavin look like the Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man in the World". Totally understandable... I am lucky to have a good, mostly normal lifestyle with a variety of interests, and yet there are often weeks where I know more about Jake's "life" than what is going on in the stock market, Russiagate, my local weather, or the NFL.
Jake is by far one of our most underachieving and underperforming cows by any measure. What is most bizarre about him is the sheer lack of ANY relatable life events, small or large.
For example, let's compare him to a couple of our lowest performing cows: Russ Greer and Kylie Brooks. Two bitter, unhappy, awful humans just like Jake, but who were dealt a much tougher hand by life and genetics than Jake can imagine. In many ways, they are opposites: one a Trump-loving racist ex-Mormon sexual harasser, one an Afro-Canadian racist bearded guy LARPing as Trans and haranguing people on a multitude of SJW fronts. Kylie can't even wipe his own ass or speak above grunt-level... yet his life still seems more fulfilling than Jake's.
As awful as they are, both Kylie and Russ have experiences that are relatable to most Kiwis and describe them on the internet. Of course, the full context around those experiences is often terrible, but that is besides the point.
Kylie:
"Whew, just finished my coding assignment, that was hard!"
"I have a girlfriend"
"Just had an argument with the department head"
"Nice to relax with a good meal while studying for finals".
"[Not Shareable] Good night!" (well, that one is iffy...)
Russ:
"Nothing better than a food truck hot dog!"
"Somebody said something mean to me at work"
"Don't you hate it when you get food on your favorite shirt?"
"A person I'm attracted to just rejected me to my face"
As banal as their experiences may be, they are things that the majority of Kiwis could relate to on some level. Who hasn't been stressed before finals, been rejected, or had somebody be a dick to them at their job?
And then there's Jake:
"Compilers make me sob for hours."
"Still recovering from a long day of arguing with somebody over whether or not yon Mewtwo is a trans egg waiting to hatch".
"Going through PTSD from being blocked for suggesting that Indiana Jones was actually genderfluid. Not feeling OK".
Even the IRL things that Jake DOES claim to experience are often blatant lies or frauds: "Facing homelessness next week", "slept on a bench last night", "may get raped by Niantic TERF death squads", "living with an abuser".
Also, in regards to Niantic, I stumbled upon this thread the other day on one of the other forums I occasionally peruse. City Data Forum has its share of speds, spergs, Nazis, and incompetent mods, but most of the posters are decent folks just trying to help people out with relocation decisions. The title of this thread caught my attention due to my interest in the Legendary Garden Gnome. A group of siblings is looking for a vacation home to buy along the Connecticut coast and one of the top suggestions that comes up repeatedly in the thread is... Niantic. Someone even mentions a "great bookstore", which I assume is the one with the petting zoo attached. Just posting this as it further contradicts Gnome mythology that he lives in some kind of apocalyptic hellscape.
Motherfucker is a Mayflower descendant living in one of the nicest towns on the East Coast...
fwiw, it took us only two days to dox Jake. His thread was started on 2 September 2016 and his real life identity was established on 4 September 2016.
No-one's going to buy his claim that our information on him is "wildly inaccurate" when they see their own threads full of information they know to be true.
There’s so much proof he’s Jake Alley that there’s no question anymore. Jake’s pissed off at himself but is redirecting it at KF. He’s mad because he considers himself very smart and clever and thought his secret identity would never get out. Only, Jake’s not smart nor clever.
He got caught red handed with the years long harassment of Soha who he still claims he doesn’t know. He got photographed at a con he hyped with Tanya depass and Katherine cross. He left breadcrumbs all over his googleshngs. He fucked up and doesn’t want to admit it so he keeps saying we’re lying and full of misinformation.
He’s just desperately clinging to his last remaining followers who actually correspond with him.
